The short journey to the exit was both uneventful and awkwardly quiet. I was still a bit mad at Fphant for his callousness towards 'Stache, and his refusal to apologize had fouled my mood.
We would have serious words later.
A glowing green exit sign greeted us as we rounded a corner. I think, and this is just a guess, that we're at the exit. Underneath the exit sign was an elevator which looked like it belonged in a hotel lobby. I sure hope the foal mafia didn't steal it from any hotels, although that would be pretty cool if they were able to. Seriously, how do you steal an elevator? Do you cut it out with some giant laser? Do you get a couple of powerful unicorns to teleport a chunk of the building away? I don't know, but it was probably cool to watch.
The inside of the elevator happened to be composed entirely of mirrors, floor to ceiling, wall to wall. As I distracted myself with the infinite reflections, Fphant pressed the button labeled "G". I'm not sure what the "G" stands for, but my best guess is that it stands for "Geraniums." Why they would have an elevator button specifically for geraniums, and why Fphant would choose to press that one is beyond me. With a lurch, the elevator began moving upwards. Presumably towards the geraniums.
And then the music started.
"It's a small world after all!"
"Oh sweet Celestia!" Fphant cried, covering his ears in a vain attempt to block out the sound. "Make it stop!"
"It's a small world after all!"
I don't see what Fphant was so worked up over; it's not that bad of a song. Actually, it's kinda catchy.
"It's a small world after all!"
Fphant gave a groan of discomfort and I began humming along.
"It's a small, small, world."
The first verse of the song was drowned out by Fphant repeatedly bashing his head against the mirrored walls. Silly Fphant, that's not how you get the music to stop. You've got to do something productive, like search for the source. Although that's not to say smashing your head against mirrors isn't productive, if what you're trying to do is gain seven years of bad luck then you're on the right track.
As if he had read my mind, Fphant ceased his quest to earn bad luck and began searching wildly for the source of the music. "Where is it coming from!?" he nearly screamed.
"How am I supposed to know?" I replied. "I didn't build this thing."
"That was a rhetorical question," the sorceress snarked from my back. Wait, when'd she wake up? Wasn't she unconscious like, a minute ago? How did I not notice her waking up? Why am I not asking her these questions?
Taking my own advice I asked, "When'd you wake up?" See, I can be smart sometimes!
"Shortly after the music started," she said. "I would've said something sooner but this is too fun to watch." Indeed, the sight of Fphant pulling mirrors from the walls in an effort to find the source of the ongoing music was rather amusing.
The sorceress shifted a bit on my back, presumably to a more comfortable position. "You're really comfy, you know that?" she asked. I can honestly say that I did not know that. "You're even more comfy than my bed." She fluffed up my mane a bit before plopping her head down on top of mine.
"Um, thanks?" Seriously, what do you say to something like that? That's not the sort of thing you expect to be complimented on, and when it does you have no idea what to say. I honestly didn't know what to do, so I did nothing and just watched Fphant attack the paneling on the doors.
"You're not mad that I hit you?" I asked the sorceress.
"Not really," she replied, "it was the natural thing to do so I can't really blame you."
"Good to know." I can't really figure this mare out. One minute she's friendly like she is now, the next she's trying to cut me open with a scalpel for science. I wish she would just pick one and stick with it!
"Aha!" Fphant cried triumphantly as the music cut out. "I found it!"
"Congratulations," the sorceress offered sarcastically, "and just in time for the end of the ride, too! What timing!"
"When did you wake up?" Fphant asked confusedly.
"I asked her the same thing!" I would say something about great minds thinking alike, but it would be a lie since I don't have a great mind.
"Shush," Fphant barked, "I wasn't talking to you." Wow, rude. If I could give an award for rudeness I'd give it to Fphant. Because he's a Rude-y McRude-pants.
"A little while ago," the sorceress said casually, as if she wasn't facing a hostile mirage. "Nice breakdown in the elevator, by the way."
"Alright," Fphant said, a little mollified. "More importantly, why are you still riding on him?"
"Because he's comfy and I'm lazy." Both completely valid points. Why walk when you can get someone else to walk for you? Sound logic.
"And you're alright with this?" Fphant asked me.
I tried to give him my best "you're a moron" look, but since my "you're a moron" look is terrible, it didn't have the intended effect of answering the question without the use of words. Fine, I guess I'll just have to tell him the old fashioned way.
"If I had a problem with it I'd have dropped her as soon as she woke up."
I'm not certain, but I think that pink thing at the top of my vision is the sorceress's tongue. She probably stuck it out at Fphant, but she might be trying to catch snowflakes. I'm not sure but I'm leaning towards the first one, especially since it isn't snowing.
"Well, I think that's enough time wasted here," Fphant said after a short pause. "We should probably head out."
"I completely agree," I agreed. Do you see what I did there? I put an agree in my agreement so I could agree while... I'll stop talking now.
"Indeed," the sorceress said from my back.
I began to trot off in the direction of the sorceress's tower, but stopped after a few steps when I realized Fphant wasn't following me. "Hey," I called, "where're you goin'?"
"I could ask you the same thing," he retorted.
"Well I asked first so you should answer first." I think I heard a quiet giggle from the sorceress, but I might have imagined it.
"I'm heading to the sorceress's tower," he said, as if it was obvious.
"No, I'm heading to the sorceress's tower. You're going the wrong way."
And there's the obligatory "you're a moron" look for this chapter. Wouldn't be a complete chapter without one. "The sorceress's tower is totally this way."
"Nah, it's definitely this-"
"Boys!" the sorceress cut me off. Her hoof appeared in my vision pointing a different direction than either of us were headed. "It's thataway."