Do you remember when you'd break something, or cause an accident, and it really wasn't your fault? How your parents would convince you not to worry about it, try to help you feel better?
I wish I could have that luxury.
It has been a week now, a week ever since I left the realm of my own mind and returned to the real world. I don't remember much of the week, except that Fluttershy rarely left my side, if she left it at all. I was drifting in and out of consciousness the entire time, so I wasn't sure.
Zecora, she told me her name was, she fed me because I wasn't able to move without a lot of pain. Which was understandable, I had been lying there for a long time. I couldn't keep the shock out of my voice when she told me that I had been asleep for four months.
“What?!” I had exclaimed when Zecora told me. “I gotta get up! I gotta see where my mother is! I got-
“You need to rest.” Fluttershy had softly chastised me. I had wanted to press the issue, but I let it drop, seeing an unfamiliar look in her eyes.
While I had recovered, I was greatly disturbed by the way my marefriend had been acting. She put up a brave front around me, feeding me with as much love as she could, but I knew that wasn't the full case. I had taken the time to study her. I saw that she was much, much thinner than the last time I had seen her. I had a faint image of her looking dirty and bruised, but she looked cleaner now. Some of her bruises were still there, she couldn't hide them well enough from me.
And her emotions...it had taken a few days for me to use my gift of sensing emotions, but when I did...
I sensed her love for me, and her fear. But...her anger...she had so much anger. I had attempted to ask her what had happened while I was...well, almost dead. But anytime I attempted to bring up the subject, she'd tell me not to worry about it. That's when I sensed the flashes of anger from her. I tried to ask Zecora, and Twilight and Rainbow whenever they were able to sneak away, but I received the same answer, telling me to worry about recovering.
So I did as they said. I knew that when I was able to use my body again, they'd tell me what I wanted to know. I'm not going to lie, the wait was agonizing. And as I recovered, the looks I saw my friends give each other and the emotions I sensed from them began to truly frighten me.
. . .
The day finally came when I was going to stand up again. It might not seem like a big thing, but it sure felt like it to me. Not only was Fluttershy and Zecora there, but Rainbow and Twilight had been able to sneak out as well. I felt really grateful that my friends were willing to risk their lives to spend this time with me.
“Now remember, you need to take it easy.” Fluttershy reminded me.
I was sitting up in the bed as Fluttershy gently mopped my forehead with a washcloth. “I know, Flutters. I'm not going to just start running around.”
Zecora walked to the other side of the bed. “You need to listen to her, you know/Your body still has to grow.”
I tilted my head. “Um, what?”
Twilight smiled. “I think she's trying to tell you that you're going to have to relax a bit more before you try to start training.”
“Training for what?” I asked. “What happened out there?”
“Well...” Rainbow started.
Fluttershy instantly snapped at her. “No, Rainbow!”
As Rainbow slammed her mouth shut, I winced at the rush of anger that flowed from my mate. “Flutter-”
She put her hoof over my mouth. “Please, Shade. Just...just start walking first.”
I gently nodded. “Alright.”
Fluttershy removed her hoof from my mouth and stepped back from the side of the bed. I slowly moved my hooves until I was sitting up and facing the side of the bed, looking out over the room. I pushed myself a bit forward, seeing Twilight and Rainbow take a few steps forward. I felt better knowing that they'd catch me if I was about to taste the ground.
Carefully, I pushed forward a bit more until my back hooves barely touched the ground. I pushed myself forward, my back hooves fully hitting the ground. I pitched forward, causing my friends to gasp.
“Shade!” Fluttershy yelled.
With a solid thud, my front hooves hit the ground. The force of the impact caused me to bow my head. I wobbled on my legs, trying to reorient myself. I heard hoofsteps as my friends stepped forward to steady me.
“No!” I snarled. “Let-let me do this.”
The hoofsteps stopped. “Are you sure about this?” Rainbow asked.
“Rainbow Dash, let him be/This task is not meant for you or me.” Zecora spoke up.
After a few more seconds, I felt myself steady. I searched deeper in my body, trying to find something...
“W-what?” Fluttershy spoke up.
I felt my body shimmer, causing me to raise my head and open my eyes. I looked around at my friends, seeing Twilight and Rainbow watching me carefully. Zecora had a small smile on her face and I felt joy radiating from my mate. I raised my hoof, looking at my leg. It was covered in blue hair. I looked up at Fluttershy. “H-how do I look?”
The yellow mare walked forward and gripped me in a hug, softly rubbing my head. “You look wonderful.”
“You did it, Shade!” Rainbow yelled, as Twilight simply smiled at me.
Zecora walked around the bed and tapped my back. “Very good, but you have no time to rest/It is time to start your real test.”
I sighed. “I'm ready to start.”
. . .
Yeah, I wasn't ready to start.
Twilight decided to be the one to help me train with my emotion controlling and my lightning powers. As grateful as I was, I assumed that it would be rather easy for me to control.
Nope.
Sensing emotions was something that my body naturally did, so that should only come back with time. My other abilities were going to be a lot harder to return.
Twilight wanted to start by manipulating emotions. Before I had been stabbed, that was the hardest power to control and use in general. It's not just taking an emotion to feed from. It's actually removing the emotion so that pony can't feel it for a amount of time. I had only done that one other time before, and that was so I wouldn't die.
“Why do you want me to use the most tiring ability I have?” I asked Twilight.
“Because if you can use that without problems, then your other powers should be a lot easier for you.” She replied. The two of us were standing deep in the Everfree, where we wouldn't be discovered by changelings flying overhead.
I sighed. “Twilight, I never even used this ability, except for once!”
“And when did you use it?” She countered.
“After I fought you.” I replied.
She winced but continued, “Exactly. You never know when you'll need to use it. So, let's go!”
I sighed. “Alright.”
I focused my senses on Twilight. I sensed worry, fear and hope from her. “Let's see...”
I narrowed my eyes, honing in on the worry. I inhaled as I tried to draw the emotion out of her soul. I felt myself sweating and shaking a bit.
In a snap, I felt a disconnect. My eyes widened as I felt myself detach from the emotion. The force threw me backwards, causing me to hit the ground with a thud.
Twilight gasped. “Shade! Are you alright?!”
I groaned. “Uhhh...I lost a hold of it...”
“But you're alright?” She repeated.
I nodded. “Yeah, I think.”
“Great!” She said. “Let's go again!”
“Wait, what?” I asked.
“You said that you wanted to see what happened when you were unconscious.” Twilight said. “If you really do, then you'll need to be at your best. None of us are going to let you leave the forest until we know that you're ready.”
I sighed. “Why all the wait, Twilight? Why can't I just know?”
“Shade...” Twilight began. “Please trust me, you're going to want to be ready.”
. . .
I'm going to just say it right now. The next few weeks I felt like I was living in hell. Twilight and I practiced with my emotion abilities for a few days. The hardest part was indeed, actually robbing emotions. If I succeeded, Twilight wouldn't feel that for a few hours and it was dangerous to try to steal more than one at a time.
We also worked on how deceiving I was whenever I shifted. I worked on all of our friends, but even with my natural affinity for deceiving, it wasn't easy. Especially trying to be Fluttershy.
“I don't know, Shade...” Twilight said. “It doesn't seem like her..”
I was at that moment, attempting to be my mate. “A-are you sure? Do I need to straighten my mane more?”
“That's not the problem.” Twilight said.
I sighed, dropping the shift. “What's wrong?”
“Well, that's not how she acts now...”
“I know!” I snapped. “And for whatever reason, none of you will tell me!”
Twilight's eyes flashed. “Don't get mad at me, Shade.”
“I'm sorry if I get a little agitated for not knowing what happened when I was just about dead!” The two of us stood there for a moment, not talking. Then I sighed. “Twilight, I'm sorry. I'm just worried about Fluttershy, I haven't even started learning about my electricity...
Twilight walked forward and hugged me. “I'm sorry. It's not fair of me to keep so much from you. Here, follow me.”
“W-what?” I asked.
“You wanted to see a little of why we've been sheltering you? I'll show you, but you aren't going to enjoy it.”
. . .
Twilight and I silently walked deeper into the forest. “Wow...” I said. “Hidden paths and everything.”
“Fluttershy showed me this path.” Twilight said. “You'll see why in a moment.” Taking the hint, I shut up.
The two of us arrived in a small clearing. It was a small field, surrounded by trees. I looked up and saw that branches and leaves covered the top, hiding the clearing well.
“What is this place?” I asked.
Twilight looked at me and I sensed sadness from her. “Shade...do you remember the way back from here?”
“Sorta, why?” I replied.
“I'm going to wait for you, because this is something you need to see alone.” Without another word, Twilight left me alone in the clearing.
I looked around the clearing, just relaxing for a while. And then, I saw a large stone in the middle and it looked like it had a bit of writing on it. I walked closer, kneeling down to get a better look.
Dancing Mist
A great friend, and a true hero.
May you forever rest in piece.
“No...” I said, stepping back. “No, no, no!” My voice broke and I fell on my rump. “No, Misty! NO” I felt anger flow through my body and a spark. “MISTY!”
In a bright flash, electricity burst from around my body as I started crying as hard as I could. The bolts flew from my body, striking trees and branches everywhere. I couldn't control my power, and I didn't even try. I had failed, and in that process, a friend had died in the process.
I shamelessly wept, my lightning flying everywhere. And suddenly, I felt something touch my shoulder. I looked up to see my mate. “Flutter-”
She put her hoof over my mouth and hugged me. I tried to push her off because of the electricity, but it didn't seem to affect her. Seeing that, I tightly embraced her. As I hugged her, my electricity slowly calmed down and stopped completely. The two of us sat there for a while, not talking.
“Shade...” She began.
“I failed her, Flutters.” I said. “All of you, and I never knew just how badly.”
“Stop.” Fluttershy said. “Shade, it wasn't your fault.”
“It was.” I said. “There's a reason that she's dead, and that you're all hurt and why I rolled over to you the other night and you almost broke my neck!” She looked back at me, a bit shocked.
“Shade, I'm not ready.” she said. “Not yet, please.”
“Why can't you tell me?” I asked.
Fluttershy looked down at my neck. “It hurts...” She looked back up at me. “Shade, can I make you a promise?”
“Anything.” I said.
“You need to not blame yourself for Misty's death, and train.” she said.
“And in return?” I asked.
She looked at my face. “We'll talk. About everything. Why you scare me in your changeling form, what happened to me...everything.”
I leaned forward and gave her a kiss on the forehead. We hadn't kissed on the lips ever since me wake up call. “I promise.”
She stood. “I know this is very hard, Shade and I'm so sorry.” I saw a few tears fall from her eyes as she turned and left.
I took a few more minutes to look at Misty's grave. “Misty...nothing I say can pay you back. But I promise, I will make her pay.” I stood up and left the clearing, with a new goal in mind.
. . .
My days were busy now, full of training and recovering. Twilight and I both decided that it would be better to focus on my electricity now that I had my emotions under control. I learned that it was triggered by my emotional state, which decided if it would be easier or harder to focus or control it. I remember that it was borderline impossible for me to direct it from my horn at first. It flew from my hooves, my mane, once it flew from my wing.
That got weird.
We learned that if I wanted to be in any sort of water, I couldn't have any sparks of my electricity active. If I did, they would clash and I'd be rendered unable to move. If it was a little bit of water, I'd be okay. For the most part.
I remembered what Null had told me when I was still dreaming. I worked as hard as I could to strengthen my body. Not only for myself, but for Null, Misty and Fluttershy.
I had failed them, and I owed this to them. And I would not fail again.
...
Very late the next night, I stumbled into the cottage, quite tired. I hadn't drained any emotions for the entire day. Twilight and I had been training, which wasn't fun to do hungry, believe me. She had headed back for Ponyville under the cover of darkness and directed me to head back to Zecora's.
“Zecora...” I started. “Where's Fluttershy? I'm slightly short of starving right now.”
The zebra turned towards me. “She is not here, but I hope you don't mind/Fluttershy told me that it's finally time.”
“Time...Time!” I gasped. “You guys think I'm ready?”
“Possible not as much as we hoped/But you have done much, you deserve to gloat.” She replied.
I shook with excitement. “W-where is she?”
“Follow the path, go left, than right/There waits the one with whom you spend your nights."/.” She said.
I walked forward and hugged Zecora. “Thank you.”
The zebra smiled and pushed me away from her. “Go!”
I nodded to her and left the cottage from the back door. I followed the path as she said, but I focused hard and did see a path leaning towards the right. I took it, and walked up it, seeing a opening in front of me.
“Alright, Shade.” I said to myself. “It's time to see what I let happen during my nap.”