Ch 32. A tilted perspective.
The half see through form of Discord is floating in front of me. “So, are you causing enough chaos already?” He asks me as I walk along, pretending nothing is happening. I don’t answer his question and I honestly don’t know how I should.
“Now you are just being boring. C’mon, give me something to work with. You couldn’t have gone around not causing chaos.” Discord says very loudly. Since none of the mares that I walk with seem to notice him, I figure that I am the only one. That makes it a bit easier to talk to him without causing mass panic.
“I don’t think that doing that would be very good.” I say to Discord, but unlike his voice, mine is heard perfectly by the mares around me.
“Who are ya’ll talking to, suga’cube?” Applejack asks. I guess that talking loudly to an invisible chaos god isn’t the smartest thing to do if I want to keep him noticed.
“Ooh, are you talking to an invisible pony?” Pinkie yells out before swiping her hooves in front of me, looking for the invisible pony. When she swipes her hooves through the invisible, untouchable Discord she stops for a moment before saying, “Hmm, I don’t see any invisible pony here.” At this statement Rarity and Rainbow facehoof and walk along.
Before this can get any weirder Rarity steps in. “I’m sure he was thinking a bit hard about something and said it without even thinking. Let’s just walk on, we can’t make Twilight wait.” I let out a relieved sigh as the mares shrug and walk along.
I figure that thinking loudly might be a better idea. “That indeed would be smarter that shouting out your answers to me.” Discord says as we continue our journey. I guess that the mind reading thingy shouldn’t surprise me.
‘I have been trying to keep the chaos on a low, while I figure out how to function in society without letting other ponies notice that I am in fact an alicorn that can’t use magic nor fly at any rate.’ I think loudly.
“But that is just boring. You need some spice in your boring life. I’m sure that I can think of something. Maybe an extra pair of wings or a horn on your back. Maybe I’ll make your mane pink or give you a flowing beard.” Discord says as a small picture of me appears next to him, displaying me with an extra horn on my back, a pink mane, a flowing grey beard and 2 pairs of wings. The whole collection looks rather silly, something that Pinkie would surely find funny. I would too, if it wasn’t me who was loaded with extra appendages.
‘ I’d rather have that you don’t do that. I don’t think that I would be able to do anything normal when you’d do that. ’
“Oh, come on, wouldn’t it be fun in your otherwise boring life. “Discord yells as he twirls around in the air, floating through some stands. Somehow he doesn’t seem to bother the other ponies he is floating through. “I’m sure that it would cause some good chaos.” Discord brings his arm up to his chin and rubs it, thinking deeply.
‘ If you do something then don’t make it too obvious. I don’t want the whole of Equestria to shiver in fear when they see me. ’
“Oh, I’ll make sure that it won’t be that bad. I’ll just make sure that you have a blanket to cover the extra appendages or something like that, maybe the pelt of an animal; I’m sure that Fluttershy will love that.” Discord proclaims as my picture, which still is floating next to me, is covered with what looks like the pelt of a rabbit.
‘I think that Fluttershy will most likely end up in a coma if you do that. Just do something silly to me and leave again, will you. ’ I think, getting annoyed at the jokes that Discord is throwing at me.
“Fine. You can make the choice. You can either get an extra pair of wings, a horn on your butt or something random that I get to make up. You get to choose!” Discord says as three doors appear next to him, marked one, two and three. The third one sports a large question mark.
‘Oh god. I don’t want to choose the first two, but the third seems like a bad idea. The first two will most likely cause mass panic, something that Discord will like, but they seem too dangerous...’
“Are you done thinking about it yet?” Discord asks, annoyed with the long wait.
‘Just do the third one and don’t make it too bad. Make it so that I can still appear in public, I don't want ponies to run away when they see me.’ I think, also thinking about what would happen if Discord would ruin my whole life here in Equestria.
"You, sir, have chosen the third one. A fine choice, if I dare say myself." Discord yells into a microphone that suddenly appears from thin air, and pulls back the curtain, revealing the contents of the third booth. It is quite empty, except for two small plates on the bottom.
'What are those? Am I supposed to carry them?' I ask Discord, curious about the purpose of the two plates.
"Oh, no, my dear human, you won't be carrying these. You will be wearing them under your left front hoof and your right back hoof. I think that they will look rather stylish." Discord says as the two plates, both about the same diameter of my hooves and 2 centimeter thick, float to those hooves respectively. Even though I am walking the plates still manage to attach themselves to my hooves.
The instant they are attached my whole walking pattern is messed up. I find it very difficult to walk straight without falling. The plates unbalance me in such a way that I won't fall over so easy, but enough to be very, very, annoying. I grumble under my breath as I have to put more force into my steps, just to stay upright.
"Now, you don't have to worry about the fact that you are tilted, no pony will notice. The plates are placed under the same enchantment as your wings and horn. I am also surprised with the fact that you haven't told anypony yet; are you waiting for the right one."
I sigh. 'No, I just haven't found anypony that I fully trust.'
"Anyway, the plates will go away when you have caused some good chaos." He starts floating next to me. "Now, be a good little human and do what humans do best: cause CHAOS!!"