"This is booorrrriiinnnggg!" Pinkie Pie said, stretching her lips dramatically.
The six ponies, minus Rarity, who just sort of vanished, had been working to get a plan to solve the odd predicament for two hours. However, nopony had come up with a solution that made any sense or would work.
"We know, Pinkie," Twilight said with a groan. "But I don't want to stop until we can get rid of this alicorn problem."
Pinkie stood and said, "I'm going outside. It's probably got something fun out there. And who knows, maybe there will have to be a party!"
She opened the library door and left. Twilight sighed and concentrated.
"OH MY GOSH, GIRLS!!"
The scream caused the four to jump and swear violently.
"What is it, Pinkie?" Fluttershy asked as the party pony darted in, a look of complete shock on her face.
"YOU'VE GOT TO SEE THIS!!"
Twilight rubbed her ears.
"You didn't need to yell," she said.
They stepped from the library and followed Pinkie's hoof to where she was pointing at two alicorns standing in the street, staring at a lone cabbage.
The alicorns were Derpy and Roseluck, eyes narrowed in concentration and bodies tensed.
"What in the hay?" Applejack asked. "What are they doin'?"
"I don't know," Pinkie said. "But it looks like fun!"
She ran up and stood next to the two, assuming the same position they were in.
Twilight facehoofed.
"Excuse me," she said, approaching Derpy. "But, what are you doing?"
"Getting a cabbage," she said with a grin.
There was a slight beat.
"So, why are you doing that?"
"She wants it too!"
"Can't you share?"
Derpy's eye turned angry.
"NO!" she yelled. "I get what I want, WHEN I WANT IT!"
Twilight blinked, then she nodded.
"Yeah," she said, turning around.
She trotted back to her friends and shrugged.
"I have no idea," she said. "That was just weird... wait, where's Fluttershy?"
She swiveled her head to see Fluttershy taking the cabbage and then looking into the eyes of Roseluck.
"Here you go," she said.
And then she exploded.
Eyes widened in complete shock as the cabbage fell to the ground, leaving Derpy and Roseluck to stare at it, continuing their... ritual.
Rainbow Dash flew to where the shy pegasus once stood and started to cry. A yellow hoof patted her shoulder. She looked and saw Fluttershy standing behind her.
"What?!" she yelped, hopping away in surprise.
"Fluttershy's an alicorn!" Pinkie yelled in delight. "Today has been so fun!"
Twilight stuttered a few incomprehensible words and fainted.
"Hey, Twilight!" Pinkie said, coming into her field of fading vision, looking concerned. "Are you alright?"
~
When Twilight opened her eyes, she was in a spinning world of colorful seizure time. She blinked to get rid of the pain in her head and gulped.
"Hello?" she asked.
"Hello!"
A being emerged from nothingness and approached. It stood on two legs and swung its forelegs in the air.
"W- who are you?" Twilight asked in confusion. "Where am I?"
The background faded away, revealing a crowd of things just like the being, and lights blazing down on her. She raised a hoof to shield her eyes.
"You're on my TV show!" the being yelled.
"TV?"
"Television?"
"What's television?"
"You don't know what television is?"
"No, I want to get back home!"
"You will, once you answer some of my questions I determined after spying on your life!"
"I guess- wait, what?!"
The creature smiled and flashed her teeth at the audience.
"So," it said. "What is your life like in Equestria?"
"It's, uh, fine," Twilight said.
"How is being a princess?"
"It's not really difficult. Princess Celestia just dumps stuff on me from time to time, but other than that I don't do much."
"What do you think about Celestia?"
"I think she's doing a good job ruling the country. She and Luna are both excellent, even though Luna gets almost no screen time-"
Twilight paused.
"Wait, screen time? Huh?"
"It's okay, darling. Now-"
"Look, can I just go home Ms.?"
"It's Oprah, dear."
"Oprerah?"
"No, just Oprah."
"Look, Ms. Oprah, can I just go home?"
"Sure!"
The world flickered, and Twilight woke up in bed, staring into the eyes of Rainbow Dash.
"You were talking in your sleep," she said. "Who were you talking to?"
"Ugh," Twilight felt terrible. "Her name was Okra or something."
"OPRAH!"
Twilight turned her head in shock as she found herself facing the being from her dream.
"AH!" she yelled, jumping out of bed.
Oprah pointed a finger at Rainbow Dash.
"You're an alicorn!" she said, as the pegasus grew a horn. "You're an alicorn!" Pinkie had been sitting on the side of the room, and she suddenly sprouted wings and a horn. "EVERYPONY'S AN ALICORN!"
A blast of psionic energy ripped through the universe as it passed through every pony and zebra and griffon and thing. Up in Canterlot, Celestia blinked.
Twilight looked out of the window.
"What did you-"