RECAP: Artemis could not take part in this discussion. After seeing a strange, laughing hybridized face flash across his vision momentarily, he collapsed, buried and suffocating in a pile of golden fours that nopony else could see.
“Arty?” A vague, familiar voice echoed through his consciousness. “Arty? Are you there? Wake up!”
Artemis groaned as her vision slowly began to return to normal. She winced as a stray four floated across her peripheral vision, but other than that she felt fine, and managed to stagger to her hooves.
“Thank Frond you’re okay.” Holly said as she assisted Fowl. Butler immediately rushed in and gave Artemis a full field medical examination. As well as he could, at least, with his limited knowledge of equine anatomy.
“They’re trying to hurt you. They want to get rid of you. That’s why they’re here. Run. Stay away. They’re not your friends.” Artemis recognized to chaotic voice from earlier- but something was different. There was another voice mixed in. One that was not entirely unknown to her. For a second Artemis felt herself slip, felt like everything was going gray, but then she got a grip. Shaking her head to clear it, she gave a reassuring smile to her friends. Or were they enemies? No, Artemis must not give in. But the seeds of doubt had been planted, and something had allowed to them to take hold. Could it be- no. Orion was gone.
“Well then, if we’re all fine and dandy, then we should probably get started.” Major Thorne addressed all present. “We need to set up the magic lithium-ion batteries to keep the portal open. No1 is starting to tire. We can’t have the rift closing if we all want to get back.” As much as Holly obviously had bad blood with this guy, she couldn’t disagree with him this time.
A few low-level LEP troopers were offloading some crates from the large shuttle. Holly jogged over to assist, waving for Grub and Chix to do the same. Butler watched them go, then leaned against a tree and pretended not to keep as watchful an eye on Artemis as he really was. Artemis himself was trying not to look like he had an inexplicable migraine, which he really did.
Twilight had just thought of something troubling she hadn’t before. “Butler-” she began to query, “When you killed that Changeling impersonating me- how did you know it wasn’t me?”
“Simple.” he replied; “It wasn’t you. It was a threat. I’m a bodyguard. It’s in my job description to notice imposters.”
“That does explain things.” affirmed Twilight “But Changelings aren’t really a threat, per se, not until you harm one at least. They feed off love, you see. They disguise themselves as someone you love, and feed off your love for that person.”
“So who’s love do you think that Changeling was trying to mooch off?”
Twilight gave a half-smile, then suddenly became serious. “I- I don’t know. That really is a good question-”
Meanwhile, the LEPtactical team had just finished stabilizing the portal. “All set for the return trip. Next stop, New Haven City!” Major Thorne gestured towards the rift with a wide smile on his face. Holly stood and wiped her forehead.
“Good.” she said. “I’m ready to go home.”
“I, for one, am not.” Stated Artemis. “I still haven’t done what I came into this forest for.”
“Which is?” Holly responded, raising an eyebrow. You will have to remember that she was not present at the beginning of the adventure and knew nothing of the whole “randomosity” thing.
“Oh, nothing much.” Replied Artemis vaguely. “Research.”
“That’s right!” Piped in Twilight. “Artemis is helping me find out about some new Elements!”
“Let me guess.” Holly spoke without enthusiasm. “It’s some new super-rare and super-valuable element called unobtainium or something stupid like that, and it can only be found here.”
“No.” Countered the cream-colored unicorn (who may or may not have had a slightly greyer coat tone at this point). “I get the impression that this element is something entirely different. Element with a capital “E”. A magical artifact of some sort. How am I in my theories, Twilight?”
“Wow, you’re pretty accurate there. The Elements of Harmony are six magical objects that are utilized by six ponies whose special talents reflect the six Spirits of Harmony. I’m actually one of them, Magic.”
“How enlightening. Do you, perchance, happen to any of these other- Spirits of Harmony?”
“But of course! Applejack is Honesty, Rainbow Dash is Loyalty, Fluttershy is Kindness, Rarity is Generosity, and Pinkie Pie is Laughter.”
“Take me to them.”
The green-suited LEP Major Crest was getting impatient at this point. “C’mon, we have to go now!”
Artemis refused. Butler would not go if Artemis wouldn’t. All LEP present, though, shared a different sentiment. The gender-swapped genius was torn between an intellectual challenge in a world that defied comprehension, and between returning home where his(her) family was no doubt worried sick about him(her). With the time difference, who knows how long (s)he had been gone? It could have been years! Still, this whole “randomosity” situation appeared to be more and more serious, and really warranted thorough investigation and most likely a healthy portion of adventure. Maybe a quick stop home first would be fine- his(her) mind felt like a blue and an orange light were pulling at either side. What happened next was exactly what you would expect to happen when something is pulled ferociously from two sides- a complete and brutal bisection. In this case, of Artemis’s mind. The cream-colored pony instantly turned as grey as Tom, the diamond that was actually a boulder.
Don’t get me wrong, (s)he was still as indecisive as ever discorded, but this time because of selfish reasons not at all like how Artemis would think. He had, in effect, been effectively reverted to the way he was before Ho Chi Minh City. As you can imagine, this was absolutely a problem.
Twilight, of course, recognized the physical evidence of discordization in Artemis immediately. She was, as can be assumed, showing just a teensy weensy little bit of quite a lot of panic. She saw no point in hiding it, and openly voiced her concerns. She began with “AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” and then continued by attempting to give the non-ponies present a rundown about what she thought had happened to Artemis.
“It all makes sense.” she said as she started to wind down in her explanation. “When he collapsed earlier, whatever triggered his discordization must have started to kick in. Still, Discord himself had to have had a hand in this. However, at this point, it would be helpful if anypony present could contribute an idea as to what could have acted as a trigger? Perhaps a pre-existing mental condition?”
“I’m pretty sure I know.” responded Holly. “Atlantis Complex.”
“What’s that?” asked Twilight curiously.
“A magic-induced psychological disorder characterized by OCD, paranoia, and multiple personalities, for a start.”
“Well, that certainly complicates things.” stated the lavender mare.
“So tell me more about Artemis’ prior bout with the Complex.” Twilight was questioning Holly and Butler in hopes of discovering something that would help in fixing the mess their friend was in. So far, nothing.
“Yes, but from what I understand, you’ve dealt with this- discordization before. What I don’t understand is why whatever you did before won’t work on him.” Holly was doing some questioning of her own.
“What I did then was show my friends all the memories that I had of who they were. That won’t work with Artemis because I’ve only known him/her for scarcely more than a day. Someone like you would have to be the one to perform the memory spell. Wait- that just might work!”
“How? I may have some magic, but not at all in the way you do!”
Twilight began getting more and more excited. “Artemis said he was able to perform a faerie ability as a unicorn- so maybe faeries can use unicorn magic!”
“Really?” Holly raised an eyebrow. “Which one?”
“He said it was called mesmer or something.”
“That’s a very basic magic. I’m not sure I could pull of something complicated like some memory-sharing thing. I’m no demon warlock.”
Twilight smiled. “I think I have the perfect plan.”
Meanwhile, in the Batcave- hold on, that- that’s not right. Okay, I got it. Wrong script. Let me just start the scene over.
Meanwhile, while the friends of Artemis were deciding what to do with him/her, (s)he already had an answer. Or a self-satisfying one, at least. It was around this time the Zecora came back into the camp, having at some point slipped off to gather herbs and whatnot. Pulling her damaged but still usable kettle from the wreckage of her home, she set it upright and began to build a fire underneath. As the zebra set about making various other preparations for her brew, Artemis came up behind her, eyeing her every move.
“So- what are you doing?” (S)he asked in a manner most uncharacteristic of the Artemis you and I know and love. Probably because Artemis wasn’t at home.
“To complete the potion and the rhyme,
I must acquire a few sprigs of thyme.”
“Is this the magic bathwater that’s supposed to make me a guy again?
Zecora only nodded, that is, before she noticed Artemis trying to steal the ingredients.
“At attempts at sabotage I wouldn’t bother,
you’re getting cured one way or another.”
Artemis, or whoever was behind those eyes, almost pouted. “I was almost starting to like- my new features.” It was then that Zecora knew they had to fix him/her sooner rather than later. Something really was very, very, wrong.
A few minutes later the newly un-gender-swapped Artemis rejoined with Twilight and- Holly? In place of Holly was another unicorn mare. She was nut-brown and had a reddish, cropped mane and tail. Her cutie mark was three silver acorns, and her eyes were mismatched like Artemis’, but backwards. It didn’t take a genius to know that this unicorn was the faerie Captain, although a genius was there to point it out anyways.
“You’re a pony.” The aforementioned genius speaking, of course.
“Yes,” mused Holly. “I must admit, it’ll take some getting used to. Especially the part where I’m- a bit exposed.”
Artemis (unless Artemis wasn’t at home, which was entirely conceivable at the moment) smirked. “Well, I for one could learn to live with that.” Yet more evidence that it wasn’t Artemis behind his words.
Twilight stepped in at this point with the intent to get all this weirdness over with. “Cast the spell and be done with it.” was her advice to Holly, and to (not)Artemis: “Sit.” This latter command was reinforced by a binding spell keeping the pale colt from doing otherwise.
Said Holly “I have no idea how to do the spell!”
Retorted Twilight “Just put your horn on his head and focus on memories. Preferably good ones.”
Said the author “The hell am I doing with this weird dialogue format?” and then, “Crap, the readers heard that. That’ll bring the ratings down.”
If the ponies heard the author’s inappropriate self-insertion, they made no action to betray that they did. Instead, Holly did as she was instructed and attempted to cast the memory spell on Artemis. Her horn lit up with an amber light, and she placed it lightly on her friend’s head. Artemis’ eyelids snapped wide open as his life literally flashed before his eyes. Then an intense whiteness enveloped him and shot up into the air and arced of in the general direction of Cloudsdale. When the blinding effect from the flash subsided, the color had returned to Artemis. He was back- right?
“I’d like to apologize for some of the things I said while I wasn’t myself.” Eeyup, definitely Artemis.
“Was it- Orion?” Holly asked worriedly.
“I do not believe that was so. Not entirely, at least.”
Artemis made the decision to return to his own world for the time being and carry on the ‘randomosity’ investigation from his end. Their former forms restored, he, Butler, and Holly followed Major Crest’s men back to Earth. Artemis showed no signs of the complex or discordization, but every once and awhile, he’d get the feeling that some part of him was, well, missing.
Back in the Ponyverse, a small commotion was stirred up in a small corner of Cloudsdale, where something originating from deep within the Everfree and bearing the resemblance of a white comet had made an impact. A minute crowd had gathered around at the sight of this spectacle. As soft gasp ran through the crowd as the from of a pony was illuminated within the crater. Stepping into view was a beige, dashingly dressed pegasus colt. His tux jacket was red, his shirt was salmon, and the pink bow tie around his neck matched the pocket square in his pocket. (Where else would you put a pocket square?) Silver sunglasses hid his eyes.
“Excuse me,” he addressed those who had gathered. “But would any of you happen to know of one Miss Holly Short? I’m looking for her.”