Everypony's an Alicorn!

by joe mother


The Problems With Alicorns

Rarity felt a warm ray of light grace her body. It felt absolutely perfect.

She slid from bed and shuddered in bliss as her hooves made contact with clean carpet.

"Oh, what a wonderful morning!" she sighed, standing.

The world felt glorious to Rarity as she smiled. It felt as though nothing could possibly go wrong today.

She went to the bathroom, where her make-up kit awaited her. She flaunted over and levitated a brush up to her face. She looked into the mirror and was greeted with something that nearly surprised her. Nearly surprised her. For whatever reason, she knew that what she was seeing was something she already knew everything about, and that it was fine.

For whatever reason, she now had wings.

She shrugged.

"They don't look as beautiful as they could," she said. "I should fix that."

Suddenly, they became pristine, and every feather became straight and agile. It should have surprised her that she had fixed her wings with thought alone, but it did not. In fact, it felt normal. She applied her make-up perfectly and left the room.

She stretched out her feathery appendages and sighed in content as they became relaxed.

"I wonder what will happen today," she said.

She left her boutique and was met by the sun's warming rays. Of course, it took a moment to realize that it was raining. The rest of the world around her was soaking wet, water pouring down upon fleeing citizens of Ponyville, but the area five feet around her was completely dry.

"As if the rain would touch somepony as perfect as me!" she exclaimed.

She started to walk, watching as Carrot Top and Derpy ran past her, trying to protect themselves from an onslaught of hail that had just begun. They jumped inside of her circle, and Rarity barely flinched.

"Can we hide in here?" Carrot Top asked. "It's a long way to home, and I don't think we can make it in the weather."

"Of course, darling!" Rarity said. "I will always do the right thing!"

"Well, ma'am, could you clear the storm?" Derpy asked. "You are an alicorn."

"Oh, why yes I can!" Rarity said, pointing her horn upwards. "I always am a good pony!"

She shot a bolt of magic into the air, where it dissipated into thousands of small particles. The clouds began to fade away, slowly revealing a sunny sky. A team of pegasi who had been working on the scheduled storm only smiled and waved, conveniently forgetting about the fact that it was supposed to storm today.

Carrot Top and Derpy thanked Rarity and continued on their way, chatting about how awesome Rarity was.

"Uh... Rarity?"

The now alicorn turned to see Twilight Sparkle, also an alicorn, staring at her.

"Yes, darling?" Rarity asked with a flip of her hair.

"When did you... grow wings?" the princess asked, her eyes wide.

"Oh, just this morning!" Rarity flaunted the appendages happily. "They're so beautiful and perfect, just like me!"

Twilight was just confused. She had the urge to praise Rarity for being so amazing, but she was not sure why. She actually wanted Rarity to be a princess instead of her.

"Uh, um," she stuttered, trying to find the right words to express her feelings. "Do you, uh, want to, uh, do something?"

"Something like what?" a quizzical look appeared on Rarity's face.

"A game, maybe?"

Twilight felt so confused as she looked at her friend, trying to process the ever-increasing list of things that she wanted to do for her.

"Sure! Which one?"

Twilight just bowed down, accidently letting one of her urges take over.

"Rise," Rarity said, not even reacting to the odd gesture. "Thank you."

Twilight fidgeted nervously and locked away all of the unbearable instincts crowding her head.

"Why don't we play 'Experiment in the Basement?'" she asked.

"Oh, I'm good at that game!"

Twilight only blanked. She had just made up a game, and Rarity says she is good at it?!

"Then come to the library."

Rarity followed her friend to the tree house/library. When they arrived, Twilight led her though a door into the basement where a machine was set up, with electrodes and switches and other science things. Rarity went over to a small stand in the center of this, knowing exactly what to do.

She placed her hooves in the metal cuffs and flipped them shut with her magic. Twilight came over and placed all of the science things on various parts of her body. She flipped on the machine and watched as the paper rolled out, showing various lines.

Twilight examined the parchment and narrowed her eyes.

"That's weird," she said, turning to face Rarity. "The readings say that-"

"I have a high IQ, my body is in prime condition, and my muscles are strong."

Twilight let her jaw fall, and the feelings from earlier came back, and she wanted to just make her friend have the most perfect life ever at her expense.

"How did you-" she managed to get out.

"I am perfect!"

Twilight could only push away the rising tide of helpful thoughts coming to her head.

"You can.. go," she said.

Rarity pulled all of the science things off of her and left, leaving Twilight to stare blankly at the wall for a minute. She felt the rush of need leave her, and she sighed.

"I need to investigate more," she said.

She picked up the readings from her experiment and looked at them. It was not possible! You don't just become perfect all of the sudden! She wracked her brain for answers, but found none.

"I need to find a book," she said, running upstairs.

She threw open the door and ran for the bookshelves, where she started scanning through the titles, looking for anything that could help her.

"'How to Floss,' 'When to Feed a Dragon,' 'The Great Hoofsy,' 'The Rhyming Book of Rhymes,' 'The Complete Collection of Edgar Allen Pone,'" Twilight read the words aloud as she progressed across the room, trying to find anything that made sense. "There's nothing here that helps!"

She ran over all of her encounter with Rarity and had an idea.

"Spike!" she yelled.

There was only silence.

"Oh, yeah!" she said, facehoofing. "I sent him off to go retrieve that special quill from the Griffin Kingdoms! I guess I'll have to do this myself."

She levitated over a quill, an ink bottle, and a piece of parchment. She began to write.

Dear Princess Celestia,

There is a matter of great importance that has arisen. Rarity has turned into an... alicorn. Not just that, but she's become smarter, and just overall a better pony! I have these urges to do things for her and I don't know why! If you could please respond soon-

Her thought train was interrupted by a knock on the library door. She left the letter unfinished and walked over. She opened it to find all of her friends, minus Rarity, standing there.

"Twilight," Rainbow Dash said. "We've got a problem."

The crowd of ponies mulling angrily behind her backed that statement up completely.