Chapter 3
“Dong, dong, dong,” softly chimed the clock behind the bar. The bartender gave it a glance as he stood behind the bar polishing the glasses. His gaze lazily scanned the café taking note of the fullness of each patron’s glass. There were only four groups in the café, not surprising for a Friday at three. Near the door sat a young couple, obviously on a date apparent from the single milkshake glass with two straws. Bits and pieces of their heated conversation about proper bathroom educate drifted to the tender. Our bartender considered walking up to the table, just to make sure that everything was alright, but the couple were regulars, and he remembered having these types of conversations with his wife early in their relationship. ‘Keep tabs on them in case it gets too heated, but for now, let them be,’ Andrew the bartender thought. In the corner sat three businessmen in full suits with briefcases drinking coffee, chatting, and laughing casually; obviously on break. ‘Nothing special here, maybe I can interest them in a refill in a couple of minutes,’ mused Andrew. At the bar sat Ryoutarou sipping a cheap green tea. And at the last occupied table, the one near the stairs, sat Naga and Sugu.
“I can’t wait to go back!” Exclaimed Naga.
“I realized that after you told me for the tenth time,” retorted Sugu, “Gosh Naga! It’s all you’ve talked about all flipping day, you could talk about something else you know. There are tons of other things out there to talk about.”
“But why would I want to talk about something else?” Replied the oblivious as always Naga, oblivious this time to Sugu’s annoyance. “There is nothing else that could possibly be as cool as an alternate world! And I discovered it ME! Who said I would never amount to anything? Because they are wrong. Wrong Wrong WRONG YOU HEAR ME!! Hahahaha! Me, a great discoverer. Just think! One day I will be in history books! All the medals! Scientists from all over the world will look up to me…”
As Naga continued to fantasize about his eventual fame and glory Sugu realized that her head was missing a very important meeting with her hands on the table. Sugu’s (slightly) painful grunt went unsurprisingly unnoticed by Naga sat caddy-cornered on her left. ‘I wish he would talk about something else,’ thought Sugu, ‘I mean, sure, it is kinda cool that he found a way to get to other worlds.’ She rapidly shook her head back and forth in her hands, ‘but he doesn’t need to be an ass about it!’
“Look it was an accident and we both know it.” She spat at Naga looking up from her position on the table, fire in her eyes. “And now I want you to drop it. You are annoying and I don’t even know why I hang out with you anymore. Your voice grates on my nerves. So for the sake of my nerves, SHUT UP!!” She stood above Naga fists clenched glaring her full force into his eyes in an attempt to melt him.
“That was a little harsh sis,” came Kazuto voice from behind and to the right. Sugu immediately spun around and blushed heavily as she looked sheepishly down and to the side.
“Sorry brother, I should not have said such mean things.” She clenched her hands again and looked him in the eyes. “But that doesn’t let him be an annoying jerk!”
“Sugu!” Snapped Kazuto, “Do not speak ill of your teammates. Look at Naga, does he look okay?” Looking back at Naga, it was very apparent that he was about to wet himself. That is, if he hadn’t already. “No. Now apologize, I will not have my party members starting an adventure in this state. Especially an adventure this important!”
She again looked down and to the side. Then she huffed. Then she looked back up with a little frown. “Fine, I will apologize.” She turned to Naga, “I am sorry I yelled at you.”
“Well I shouldn’t have-” Naga started while rubbing the back of his head.
“Don’t, I don’t want to hear it.” She said with a wave of her hand. “Just leave it, it never happened.” She plopped back down in her chair, folded her arms and glanced around the café with as much angsty dignity she could muster.
While that little back and forth was happening Kazuto walked over to the bar to join Asuna, Rika, and Ayano. They had entered as a group several minutes before and had caught the end of the conversation. Andrew had already left to go back upstairs to set up the logging in room.
“What is up with them?” Asked Rika.
“Naga wants Sugu’s body is what’s up.” Replied Ryoutarou before Kazuto could.
“Really!?!” Exclaimed Rika looking towards Kazuto.
“Well… I wouldn’t put it like that… But, um, ya, it’s pretty obvious. Unfortunately she doesn’t exactly believe it when I tell her… and I don’t think she would return the affection if she did realize it…” Said Kazuto with a sheepish expression. “I like him and all, but I don’t think he has any idea about what to do around girls…”
Ayano looked aghast and held her hands to her mouth, “OH NO! Guys we have to do something! We’ve got to help him!” She lowered her hands and looked out to space with a determined expression. “I too have noticed his affection for your sister. And as a member of the fairer sex I will help him get his woman!” She proclaimed as she clenched her fist in a grandiose fashion.
“No you won’t.” Sighed Ryoutarou, “Look, I get that you want to help the guy, but this is a man’s job. A bro is needed to help another bro when the lady of his affection is not returning his affection… Especially if it is his own fault…” He leveled a finger at the energetic girl, “You can do what you want with Sugu, but stay away from Naga. I’ll take care of him, teach him the ways of wooing a woman. Her heart will be putty in his hands by the time I am done.” He finished with a thumb’s up and a large grin.
“This otta be good.” Sighed Kazuto, “Everyone, just don’t do anything stupid. I know you guys want to do something stupid, but don’t. This is on them, I am not going to do anything, and neither can you.”
“Oh but come on, it will be fun! We can all play matchmaker! You have to admit they would make a good couple!” Said Rika.
“No.” Said Kazuto strongly and closed his eyes. When he opened them he was met with two sets of puppy dog eyes from Rika and Ayano. He tried to keep his eyes strong and stubborn, but his façade soon cracked when he turned to his left and saw a set of equally strong and stubborn eyes from Asuna.
“Fine,” he huffed, “Just don’t say I didn’t warn you when this blows up in your face.” As the girls were about to jump right to their matchmaking he quickly added, “But keep it discrete! And on your free time, I don’t want this to be any bigger than it needs to be. We have got enough stuff on our plate as it is.”
He felt a peck on his cheek and looked over to Asuna. He did not catch the angry look from Rika, or the pitying look from Ayano. She gave him a hug, which he returned.
“It’s not a big deal Kirito. Just let them have their fun.” Asuna said.
“Ya, but it is going to get annoying, I can just feel it.” He replied.
“Well don’t let it bother you, easy as that. Plus we have our own things to worry about.” She said with a wink.
“Ya, ya, you are right.” He replied with a blush.
All future conversation was cut off by Andrew ‘s call from the top of the stairs. “Hey guys! The room’s ready.” The bartender then started walking down the stairs back to his usual place behind the bar. “Your stuff should be in their usual places. I already got the server running, so just log in when you are ready. It is supposed to be busy later, so I need to take care of the bar today instead of monitoring the computer, so try not to do anything really stupid while you are adventuring in your crazy alternate world.”
“Thanks man.” Said Ryoutarou. “Alright guys, let’s go!”
With that the group stood and walked to the stairs ready for an especially interesting adventure.
*^~~~~~~~~~^*
Kirito opened his eyes. He blinked several times to try and register what he saw. It was obvious something had gone wrong. The entire world around him was white, blinding white. Kirito looked down to see that he wasn’t actually standing on anything, he was floating. Oh, and his body was decently translucent. He would have been concerned, but he had done so many strange things lately it almost seemed like it was an expected daily occurrence.
“Well this is odd,” Kirito commented looking at his hand, “I wonder if something went wrong.”
Kirito motioned for the menu screen in an attempt to trouble shoot, strangely all options were unable to be clicked. A single bead of sweat would have run down his forehead, if the computer program had a script for stress. The boy was starting to freak out. ‘What if he got stuck in here forever? Was this another SAO incident? What about his friends? What about Asuna?’ He put his hand on his chest in an attempt to calm down. ‘Nothing had gone bad wrong, just empty wrong. Empty isn’t bad, empty is just empty, and can probably be fixed. Maybe something just had not loaded yet?’
Yui’s voice broke him out of his thoughts. “Hello? Hellooooo? Daddy? Daddy!?! Are you there? Can you hear me yet?” Slowly Yui’s human form appeared in front of Kirito.
Kirito let out an relieved sigh and smiled at his adopted daughter. “Yui, boy am I happy to see you.” Yui made a happy sound that sounded strangely like a squeaky duck, almost a squee-like sound, and floated into his outstretched arms and gave him a hug. “Hey, um, do you know what is going on here? It seems like there is a bug in the system…”
Yui giggled and floated backward a bit, “Oh, no! There is no bug, unless you mean me.” She blushed. “I wrote a new code for when you guys came back into Equestria. I did a ton of studying last night, and found out all about some very interesting things about this world.” She giggled and tilted her head to the side, “But we can discuss that later. First we need a way to blend in.”
“Blend in, ok sounds good. Wait, does that mean we need to make new avatars?” Kirito said with a frown, “and I was getting attached to this one too… Wait, what about our stats? And what happens when we come back to the regular virtual worlds? Will we still use our pony avatars?”
“Um… yes?” Yui replied shackily. “You will need new avatars, but you should be able to access your old avatars whenever you please.” She gained some confidence and continued, “You should be able to keep all your skills from your other avatar and transfer them to your new avatar.”
Kirito scratched his chin. “Ok, sounds alright with me. And this is so that the natives aren’t startled or worried or anything right?”
“Yup!”
“Well I guess that is good…” He paused, “Will this white screen start every time I try to get into Equestria?”
“Nope, just this one time. Kinda like a ‘new load file’ screen.” She waved her hand and screens covered in constantly changing data appeared all around her. “Ok daddy, here is how this is going to work. I created a program that will look into your soul, take into account your personality, play type, and other attributes to create a character for you. If you don’t like it we can customize the model from there.”
Kirito sat in the air and started scratching his chin. “Ok, what do I need to do?”
Yui then proceeded to pull and push translucent screens around. “It is simple really, walk over here after I set up the sensory platform.” She then threw a translucent screen on the floor in between them. When the screen landed flat on thin air she gestured for him to walk forward.
“Yui, there isn’t a floor here…” He said with a role of his eyes, “How am I supposed to walk forward?”
“OH wait!” Yui pulled over several screens and started frantically typing at them. With a grin and a wave of her now glowing purple hand a simple cobblestone floor appeared beneath both of them. In the distance he could see what appeared to be really blocky trees and grass. As Kirito stood he floated gently down to the floor until he was standing on it. Yui still hovered surrounded by the screens reading off different data. And the sensory pad from before now laid on the floor between them.
Kirito took several steps forward until he was standing in the center of the pad.
“Now what?” He asked.
Yui looked up with a grin. “Now the magic happens!”
With a bright flash of light Kirito’s world faded away. When it returned he was standing much lower than he remembered. He blinked several times to get the spots out of his eyes.
“Dawwwww,” cooed Yui, “You’re soooooooo cute daddy!!” Yui held her hands up to her face and gave her father a large grin. “I wonder if mommy came out this cute?”
Kirito looked down at himself and saw two hooves covered in grey fur. Swinging his head around, he saw that his hair/mane was black in color, as was his tail. He saw that the rest of his body was covered in similarly colored grey fur, and he had some sort of mark on his rear of two crossed swords. He looked back to Yui several questions on his tongue.
“Apparently according to my soul I am a pony. What kind?”
“Earth pony. Here, let me make you a mirror…” Yui started pulling several screens together.
“And remind me what this mark is?”
“That is your cutie mark!” She sad bringing a large screen toward the Kirito pony. “It shows what your special talent is. All ponies have them.”
“Oh, that’s convenient.” Kirito commented off-handedly, he was a little distracted by his reflection. Staring back at him was a grey plain pony with a black main and tail hanging unkempt on his head and back. His eyes were green and his cutie mark looked just like his old swords from the first time he played Sword Art Online (which he had conveniently recreated in their most recent play through).
Kirito turned in a circle looking himself all over in the mirror. “I like it.”
“Oh good I do too!” Yui exclaimed. She snapped her fingers and all around her the screens disappeared. “The others hopefully are having as easy a time as we did.”
Kirito took several steps forward and started trotting around Yui. He smiled, “I could really come to enjoy this. Why is walking like this so easy?”
“The process to create this avatar installed a driver in your brain to make walking like an equine easier.”
“Ok,” he responded trotting up to her side. He nuzzled Yui’s side. She giggled and started petting her father’s head.
“Most girls want a pet pony,” she giggled again, “but I’m lucky, my daddy is a pony!”
He snickered, “This is true. Hey, I was wondering, but where are the others?”
“Oh, they are doing the same thing we are. I made copies of myself for helping each one of you create a new avatar.” Kirito gave her a surprised look. “Oh, don’t worry, I’m still me. I just have multiple ‘me’s and after this is done I will pull all the ‘me’s back together. It feels really weird to do this…” She shuttered, “I don’t think I will ever do this again if I can help it.”
Kirito smiled at his daughter. And nuzzled her side again, getting a giggle in response.
“Well, let’s get going we don’t want to keep mommy and the others waiting.” Kirito said softly.
Yui swiped a hand across space bringing up a screen asking if they would like to leave avatar creation.
“I am going to meet up with the other copies of me, so don’t be surprised if you don’t see me initially after coming into Equestria.” Yui stated, “tap the ‘Yes’ button when you are ready to leave.” And with that she faded out.
Kirito chuckled, ‘My daughter is a sentient computer program. I am now a pony avatar in a real world of ponies.’ He shook his head, ‘my life is crazy , but at least it is interesting.’ With that he touched the ‘Yes’ button on the screen in front of him and was blinded again by a bright light.
*^~~~~~~~~~^*
The room was the same as when he left it. He laid in bed staring at the plain white ceiling. Turning to his right he saw the ornate mahogany bureau that he recognized from last night. Kirito slipped his hooves out of bed and stood on the ground. He stretched and shook his tail. He then proceeded to check himself out again in the mirror.
“I could learn to like this…” He commented under his breath. He looked towards the door leading out to the communal room. “Well, let’s see what the others look like.”
Kirito walked to the door and became very confused. There was a door knob, how was he supposed to deal with this? “Um… Door knob… Okay… Let’s see…” He touched the knob with his fore-hoof. “Okay now turn?” And like magic the knob turned as his hoof turned. “Weird, but useful!”
Kirito walked out of his room and into the common area. Immediately he saw a (presumably) male griffon wearing Klein’s signature red headband lounging on the couch admiring his claws. There were no other creatures around.
“Klein?” Kirito asked, “that you?”
The griffon turned to the grey pony with a smile. “Kirito?” The pony nodded, “KIRITO! Buddy! It’s great to see you! You’re a pony?” The pony nodded. “Not as cool as a griffon, but I think it fits you.”
The grey pony trotted over to the sofa and sat next to the griffon. “So, do you know what anyone else is?”
The griffon shook his head. “Nah, none of the girls have shown up yet, and apparently we didn’t show up in the beds until Yui finished helping with our avatars.” Klein paused, “I wonder what they are going to be?”
The two creatures sat in silence for several minutes trying to determine what the rest of their friends would end up being/looking like. There was a creak from behind them. Turning they heard the voices of Asuna and Lyfa as the two girls left their room.
Klein whistled and Kirito’s jaw dropped to the floor. Standing before them were two ponies, a white unicorn and a green pegasus. The unicorn was white with a golden mane and tail, the main was tied up in Asuna’s tipical braid, and her cutie mark was of a bubbling pot of some sort of stew. The pegasus was green with a yellow mane and tail, and a cutie mark of a red health potion. Both males only had eyes for Asuna though.
The girls were in some heated debate about something obviously important to the female sex, but not the male one and did not notice the two males ogling them.
“Hey Kirito,” Klein whispered.
“Yeah?”
“As a bro, I will never attempt to steal another bro’s girl… Or mess with another bro’s girl… Or even think about looking at another bro’s girl… But damn…” He whistled again.
“I know.” Kirito smiled and met Klien’s eyes and in that instant the man code was reforged between the two males. A nod of understanding and both males jumped off the sofa and turned back to the girls. Both females had noticed the males by now and started trotting towards them.
“Hey! Um, guys?” said a smiling Lyfa, “Um…” her smile fell, “screw it. Which ones are you two?”
“Well Lyfa,” responded Klein, “meet the new and improved Klein!” He gestured toward himself, “and the adorably fluffy Kirito!” He gave Kirito a one armed hug, “I’m sure you will appreciate him like this Asuna.” When Klein let go, Kirito staggered around comically.
The white unicorn smirked as she walked up to Kirto and nuzzled his neck. “I could learn to like this.” She commented.
Lyfa harrumphed behind Asuna and Klein chuckled in response.
“OH MY GOD! YOU ARE YOU A DRAGON?!?!?!?” Lisbeth’s voice came through the door of their room. “WHY ARE YOU A DRAGON!!!!”
“I KNOW ISN’T THIS AWESOME!!!?!!?!!” Silicia’s voice sounded through their door.
“I have a feeling Silicia is a dragon.” Comented Klein with almost no emotion. By almost, I mean there was a hint of jealousy. “I wonder what she looks like.”
The door to the girl’s room busted open and a purple dragon came running out. The dragon was grinning with a smile so wide it should not have fit on her face. On her head was a smaller dragon (Pina). Her face had many horns on it. She had blue eyes. She had wings. She was the size of a pony. She pranced over to her friends and blew a puff of smoke at them.
“Hey guys, guess what?!?” Said a very excited dragon with Silicia’s voice.
“You’re a dragon?” Asked Klein.
Silicia started bouncing in place. “YES YES YES YES YES!!!”
A thin female griffon walked out of the room and surveyed the scene. She sighed, “hey guys, I take it you figured out which of us is which?” Those not laughing at Silicia’s antics nodded. “Ok, um let me guess… Kirito and Asuna,” she pointed at the grey pony and white unicorn with a claw, “Klein,” she pointed at the other griffon, “and Lyfa. Did I get them all right?”
“Yeah, very good. How did you know?” Kirito asked.
The female griffon waved a claw as she closed the distance and joined the circle. “Oh, I know you guys by now.”
Klein’s door opened before anyone could comment. Out came a strange bug thing. It had a black exoskeleton, red insectoid eyes, green dragonfly like wings, fangs, a crooked horn, and green fins for its mane and tail.
None of the creatures talked as they stared at each other. Yui flew out from behind the unicorn in pixie form and sat on Kirito’s head. That broke everyone out of their shock.
“Well… This is unexpected…” Lyfa commented.
“Woah,” Silica added, “I did not expect that.”
“Dude?” Klein asked.
Recon opened his mouth, but was cut off by Yui, “He put all his points into dark and destructive magic. This is the body that was generated… And also because…” She stopped when she saw Recon rapidly shaking his head. She sighed, “nevermind, no other reason. Anyway,” she flew over to Recon, “This is called a changeling. They can change shape and form. They use dark magic and can fly. And they eat love, affection, and other ‘happy emotions.’ Don’t worry, unless he does something stupid he can just live by absorbing the ‘happy emotions’ around us.” She flew back to her father’s head.
There was a part in the circle between Silicia and Lizbeth where Recon joined the group. Everyone started looking over their new bodies and commented about wingspan, hoof strength, horn size, and other physical attributes. After half an hour the clock on the table rang 6’oclock. Yui jumped up excitedly.
“Oh, the princesses wanted to meet you all in your new bodies when you are ready.”
Everyone looked at each other, and a silent confirmation went around.
“Okay, if we are ready, I will lead us back to the dining hall.” Yui flew over to the doors and opened them.
“Lets get this show on the road!” Shouted Klein.
This looks like it is going to be an interesting adventure…
End Chapter