For a moment after I was tossed into the sorceress's machine, nothing happened. Then she pressed a button. A big red shiny button to be precise. It was so red...
The button's effect was immediately apparent. A loud whirring noise sounded from the ceiling, several flashy yellow lights turned on, and a large tube slid out of the wall. A deep rumbling emanated from somewhere within the tube.
I closed my eyes and braced for a painful impact which never came. Tentatively, I cracked one eye open to see the sorceress take a steaming mug of coffee from the pipe.
She chugged it in ten seconds fl-*REDACTED*
"Aah," she sighed, "that hit the spot. Now! Back to testing."
"Wait," I stopped her right before she pressed the small, unassuming orange button hidden behind the big red one, "is this going to hurt?"
The sorceress rolled her eyes. "Most likely." She went for the button again.
"On a scale of one to 'Holy Celestia my face is on fire!' How much do you think this will hurt?"
"It'll hurt more if you don't shut up." She snapped.
"Good luck getting him to stop talking." Fphant said.
"Yeah," Unique agreed, "the only time I've seen him quiet was when I knocked him out with my Thunderbrew."
"Thunderbrew?" The sorceress asked. She sounded a bit skeptical.
"Yeah!" Unique pulled the bottle of his electrified windex I had strapped to my barrel out of its holster. "I make it myself."
"Let me see that," the sorceress asked. She had already yanked the bottle out of Unique's grasp and had brought it over to a fancy chemistry set by the time Unique had opened his mouth to respond. "Interesting, veeery interesting."
"What's interesting?" I asked.
"Quiet, I'm concentrating," she waved a hoof in my general direction, "I'll tell you in a moment."
I waited patiently in the machine for a few minutes as the sorceress ran her tests.
Pfft, haha! I couldn't say it with a straight face.
What actually happened was a series is "are you done yet?"s and "no"s which ended with me getting a nifty strip of duct tape slapped over my muzzle.
"Mmph mmble mmmmph mmph." I elegantly intoned. Surprisingly, no one laughed at my tremendously funny and brilliantly witty joke. I thought it was funny...
"It's just as I thought," the sorceress finally declared, "this unstable combination of magical and semi-poisonous ingredients has granted you the ability to break logic for the purpose of comedy!"
"And what does that mean for me?"I asked.
"Wait," Fphant looked confused. Why is he confused? "Weren't you gagged a moment ago?"
"Maybe."
"Point and case" the sorceress stated with an air of finality.
"So, if you now know why I can see your statues, do I still have to stand in this machine?"
"Yes," the sorceress's hoof moved back to the orange button. "Hold real still."
"Wait!" I shouted at the last possible moment, she said this involves pain! I'm allergic to pain! Seriously, it makes me break out in hives.
"What is it this time?" Ooh, she sounds impatient, better think of something fast.
"Umm," I tapped my hooves together in thought. Maybe I can stall for time! "Look! A distraction!" Insert dramatic hoof point towards far wall.
The sorceress, along with my friends, looked where I was pointing. "I don't see anythi-"
A massive explosion demolished the wall we were watching. As the dust cleared, I could make out several small figures.
"Nopony move!" One of the figures shouted. Strange, they sounded really young.
I felt a pair of hooves wrap around my neck. "You're coming with us!"
As I was forcibly dragged through the tower's new door, I managed to shout out, "Hey! Who are you? And where are you taking me?!"
The same young voice answered me. "We're with the foal mafia, and we're going thataway!"