The short walk to the east wing of the tower was, unfortunately, rather uneventful. I'd grown so accustomed to the spikey floors and other various deadly traps that the lack of them was, quite frankly, boring.
There also weren't any statues to count, invisible or otherwise.
After an infinitely long trek through a couple mind-numbingly boring hallways we reached our destination. How did I know it was our destination? Well the gigantic neon sign proclaiming "East Wing; impossibilities, improbabilities, and yams please enter here" probably helped. Come to think of it, why weren't there any other signs like that around the tower? What made the east wing so special? HM? I think the sorceress is playing favorites. So unprofessional.
Inside we got our first glimpse of the vaunted sorceress herself.
...
No, I'm not gonna describe her, -mainly just to avoid LUS, but I'm also lazy,- you have an imagination: Use it. (Any likeness to The Great and Powerful Trixie is purely coincidental, imagine at your own risk)
"Welcome to my tower!" she proclaimed, waving her hoof in a grand motion. "Now it--"
"Hold up a second," Unique interrupted, "you're welcoming us now? After you tried to kill us not five minutes ago?" Wait, that was only five minutes ago? Seemed like a lot longer to me.
"Yes, I'm welcoming you," the sorceress growled, "if you've got a problem with that..." she left the threat hanging. I wondered what she would do, it's not like she could kill us or anything... she'd already tried that and failed. Meh, I'll figure it out later.
"No, no, I'm good," Unique held his hooves up in a placating manner, "just a tad bit confused by the inconsistency is all."
"Inconsistency?" I asked, "What inconsistency?"
Fphant hit me again. "Did I give you permission to speak?"
"No?" I need permission to speak now? What am I, someone's pet or something?
"Then don't." Geeze, someone's mad. Hey Fphant, why so mad?
The sorceress nodded to Fphant approvingly. "Thank you... Fphant, was it?"
"My name's Fphantom," said mirage supplied, "this numbskull decided that two syllables was too much for him to handle, so he gave me a nickname."
"And you are?" the sorceress asked, directing this one towards Unique.
"Unique Blend, at your service." Did he just curtsy? I think he did. I'll have to remember that for later.
"Like I was saying before I was interrupted," the sorceress gave us all a pointed glare, "it's time for the experimentation -and possible dissection- of this impossible pony!" Alright! Game ti- wait. Did she say dissection?
"Did you say-" I began.
"No." the sorceress cut me off. Damn, can she read minds now too? "Yes." Well that sucks. Guess I'll have to watch what I think.
Think empty thoughts.
Think empty thoughts.
Think empty thou- UNIQUE KISSED FPHANT! Wait, what? Where'd that come from?
The sound of the sorceress clearing her throat brought me back to reality. She was standing in front of some metal contraption covered in thingamajigs and doohickies. Yes, those are the actual names, she had each part labeled. "If you're quite done being a moron..." Done being a moron? Never! I will make inane comments and misinterpret information 'till the day I die! "Please step onto this metal disk."
I looked where she was gesturing. The metal disk was a good six feet away from the metal contraption with absolutely nothing surrounding it. No blinky lights, no whirring gears, nothing. Huh, I thought for certain the two were related in some way. Ah well, you know what they say about assumptions.
You do know what they say about assumptions, right? 'Cause that would be weird if I assumed you did and then you actually didn't...
Whatever. You can look it up. I know you have internet, so I know you can google it. WORSHIP THE GOOGLE!
Where was I? Oh right, I stepped onto the disk, it was a polished metal circle surprisingly devoid of interesting things to observe about it, and nothing happened. I waited a few seconds more and still nothing happened.
As if he was reading my mind, -is he a mind reader too?! I blame the foal mafia for giving all these people mind reading powers- Fphant asked, "What's supposed to happen?"
"Give it time," the sorceress said. She obviously knew what was going on, I think we'd best listen to her.
We waited.
And waited.
Seconds turned to minutes, minutes turned to more minutes, and finally, after about thirteen point oh six minutes of waiting, something happened.
Of course, that something was me sneezing. Not all somethings have to continue the story-line, you know.
"I think it might be broken," Fphant offered a couple minutes after my sneeze.
"Preposterous!" the sorceress cried, "My inventions never break! They just stop working at optimal efficiency from time to time." She nervously ran her magic over the disk, as if searching for something.
"Aha!" I think she found what she was searching for. "It wasn't turned on!"
For a blissful moment after those words I heard the most glorious sound I had ever heard. It was the sound of Unique facehoofing at someone other than me.
The sorceress's magic intensified for a moment before dying down again. The disc began to hum - it wasn't vibrating or anything like that, just humming - and glow. I heard the sorceress shout something over the intensifying hum.
"Hold onto your head, my little impossible pony! We're about to do science!" The disc began to spin. "And science!" The disc span faster, how am I not falling off this thing? I could vaguely make out the sorceress pointing her hoof at something. "Is!" The disc suddenly stopped spinning, I lost my grip on its smooth metal surface and flew straight into the flashing lights of the device I mentioned earlier. "Thataway!"