The candy store was no more than a few blocks from Sugar Cube Corner, so I decided to walk instead of ride. It was a lucky thing I did, because the crusaders turned the first corner and I heard a huge crash.
I ran around to find the trio untangling themselves from their scooter and wagon while being nearly buried in mail. A grey mare with a pair of overloaded mail bags was picking herself up. She had blonde hair and a bubbly cutie mark, and it looked like she had been hit so hard her eyes had gone wonky.
“Are you all right, miss?” I called, rushing over. “What happened?”
“We came around the corner and ran head long into Derpy.” Scootaloo said, getting the wagon back upright. “Sorry Derpy!” She called, stepping onto the scooter as the other crusaders piled into the wagon.
“HEY, WAIT A MINUTE!” I screamed after the fleeing crusaders. “Darn it, how can they make a mess and then just go running off like that?”
I turned my attention to the grey mare. “Are you all right?” I thought her eyes were still spinning from the impact, they were pointed in opposite directions. But even after she stood and blinked a few times, they remained unfocussed. “Um, miss?”
“I'm alright.” She glanced at her large spilled bags, “But now I'm going to be behind on my route.” she frowned.
“Don't worry, I'll help.” I did my best to start pulling the letters together and sort them by address.
“Really?”
“Of course, it's the least I can do after those kids ran you over Derpy.”
“Ditzy.”
“Hm?” I looked up at her as she placed letters back into the bags.
“My name is Ditzy Doo. Derpy is a- a nickname from flight school” she looked down, “I never really shook it, even after moving here to Ponyville.” She stuck a few more letters into her bags. “So are you new to Ponyville? I haven't got any invitations for a newcomer Pinkie party.”
“Wow, Pinkie really is the person to talk to if you want to meet everyone.”
“Yeah, she is. She even threw me a party, though not many ponies attended.” She picked up the last pack of letters and put them away. “Thanks for your help, miss. It would have taken forever by myself.”
“You’re welcome, Ditzy.” I shook her hoof, “I'm Sarah. If you ever need a helping, um, hoof, you just let me know. Before you go, could you point me to the candy store?”
She smiled and pointed at a shop about there blocks down, then took off.
When I walked up, the crusaders were chatting with a young filly working behind the counter. Her bright red mane contrasted bright blue thick rimmed glasses.
“Hello and welcome to Twiths Tweats.” Her lisp was mid-way between adorable and annoying. She was wearing Apple Bloom's crusader cape.
“Hi Sarah, wut kept ya?” Apple Bloom inquired.
“I was delayed in picking up the mail.”
“What mail?” Sweetie looked me over for letters. “Who sent you mail? Does a friend know you’re in town? Is that why you stopped to talk to Derpy?”
“OK, one, her name is Ditzy and two you lot crashed into her and just ran off!”
“Oh yeah.” Sweetie remembered, slightly embarrassed.
“Maybe you should try for your 'cleaning up the mess you made' cutie marks.”
“We should have gotten those ages ago.” Apple Bloom muttered under her breath.
“Anyway, why don't you introduce me.”
“Ah course!” Apple Bloom perked up. “Twist, this here is Sarah. She was visitin for a spell an we thought to introduce her to Pinkie. Ah was a might uncertain about following Pinkie here, on account a how we didn't talk none after you got your cutie-mark. It was Sarah who helped us realize Ah was being foolish.”
I waved at Twist.
“I'm sthure glad you talked sthome sthense into them.” Twist said. “I was sthure Apple Bloom had forgotten about me, and my only hope was them coming for candy making cutie marks.” She paused and looked off in thought for a moment. “Wait here a second,” Twist called and went inside. She returned a few moments later, and handed me a small coin. “Here, for returning my friend and bringing me new ones.”
“I didn't know there was a reward involved!” Scootaloo cried out
“Iths not just a reward, this is sthomething sthpecial. This is the first bit I made at my candy stand.”
“Twist, that is special. I can't just take your first bit.” I tried to hand it back, but Twist would have none of it.
“Friends are more important than money, even money with meaning.”
Sarah, take it. We need an Anchor for this dimension or we might drift off before we get rescued.
Dimension jumping is hard, everything wants to return to its home dimension. Travelers usually start to drift between dimensions towards their home. This can be dangerous since neighboring dimensions don't necessarily have habitable conditions.
The Anchor, usually a small thing like a rock or ring or coin, held the traveler in the current dimension. If I took the Anchor back to my world, it would have a lot of power to draw on. That's what ARCO explorers do, recover Anchors to convert into plentiful energy.
I accepted the coin gracefully. “Anyway, in addition to meeting up with old friends, we were looking for Pinkie Pie. Ms. Cake said she might be here learning the tricks of taffy.”
“She was here, but she left a while ago.”
The four crusaders discussed where to go next and who to talk to about Pinkie.
“We could try Applejack.” I suggested.
“Naw, she'd be too busy runnin’ the apple stand.” Apple Bloom said.
“My sister said she had like a zillion orders and I wasn't to bother her for anything.” Sweetie Bell lamented.
“Hey! I know who can help us find Pinkie!” Scootallo was bouncing with excitement, “We should-”
“Rainbow Dash” Sweetie and Apple Bloom muttered together in mild annoyance.
“Rainbow Dash?” I asked.
“YEAH! She’s the best pony in all of Ponyville! She’s the fastest in Equestria and can do a sonic rainboom and is head of the weather team here in Ponyville and-”
“Whoa, slow down! I know who she is, I met her this morning. But how can she help us find Pinkie?”
“If she doesn’t know where Pinkie is, Rainbow Dash could search the whole town in like ten seconds flat!”
“Well that sounds perfect.” I said with a smile, “So where is she.”
Scootaloo's face fell slightly. “Um...”
“Um?”
“She could be anywhere.” Sweetie said.
“She is a hard worker, but she takes naps when she isn't working or practicing tricks.” Apple Bloom said.
“Yeah I saw her napping in the Apple Family farm earlier. Where does she usually nap?”
“Everywhere!” three crusaders responded dismayed. Twist just sat in awe of their synchronization.
“Ok, so we can't ask the people who are working, we can't ask the fast flyer we can't find, who else can we ask?”
“OH OH, I know thith one!” Twist was bouncing “When you need antherth to quethtions or more informathion on anything you go to the library!”
“The library?” I asked skeptically, “Really?” Well, at least I could get the ingredient list for Lotus.
“It’s not a bad idea.” Sweetie said, one hoof on her chin, “The town librarian is a friend of Pinkie Pie, our sisters and Rainbow Dash.”
“Thank you Twist,” I called as we departed.
Twist waved goodbye, then tapped on the cash register till its light stopped blinking. She sighed, making a mental note to buy a better one soon and check the warranty. She didn't want to have irate customers if the thing shorted out.
On first glance I mistook the library for being built like Sugar Cube Corner. While the pastry shop was built to look like a gingerbread house, I thought the library was built to look like a tree. It was only on second glance that I realized it was a giant tree that seemed to house a three story library.
We walked in on a Zebra in tribal accessories and a small purple lizard in conversation. It was lucky that we heard them talking as we came in, I don't think I could have contained my surprise at the sight of a talking purple lizard.
“It is important I talk to Twilight! Something in the Everfree is just not right.”
“Sorry Zecora, but Twilight is out shopping right now. She will be back later.”
The crusaders showed their usual lack of tact by barging into both the library and the conversation. “Hey Spike!” Apple Bloom waved at the purple lizard, “Is Twilight around? We need her to find Pinkie Pie.”
The purple lizard just shrugged. “Sorry Apple Bloom, I was just telling Zecora that Twilight is out shopping and won't be back till later.”
“You said something is up with the Everfree?” Scootaloo asked the zebra, eyes alight at the chance for an adventure.
“A fire near some poison joke. The forest is thick with it's smoke.”
“Ugh, that stuff.” I said to Spike. “I ran into some yesterday. It turned me plaid.”
“That's not all it does.” Spike said, giggling.
“It made my sister tiny," Apple Bloom said, "and gave Rarity bad hair, and Twilight a limp horn.”
“And it made Rainbow Dash crash all of the time!” Scootaloo chirped in.
“How could you tell?” Spike asked under his breath.
I turned to Zecora “<Was the fire put out? I don't want to have to worry about a cloud of prankster smoke floating around.>” I blinked. The fuck did I just say?
Zecora smiled “<Tis not often I find a pony who knows my native tongue, and rarer still they should speak it so well. Where did you learn?>
“<Oh, I'm an explorer. I travel a lot and it's important to learn the language of wherever I go. I haven't gotten a chance to use this language outside of learning before.>” Gah, I hate it when the translation doesn't warn me about shifts.
“What are y’all sayin?” Apple Bloom asked.
“I'm just trying out Zecora's native language.”
“You must have studied to great extent. In my tongue you are most fluent.”
“Huh.” Apple Bloom said.
“Guys, you’re missing the most important part.” Sweetie Bell said, “If Twilight is shopping, and Applejack is at her stand, and my sister is at her shop, then that makes the market the best place to ask for Pinkie Pie!”
“You’re right!” Scootaloo grinned, “CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS! LETS GO!” I had to hobble out of the way to avoid being bowled over by the as they rushed out the door.
“Girls, wait! I needed something from the library! You can’t just run off! GIRLS!” I hobbled after them at top speed, trying desperately to keep them in sight.
Zecora pointed to the ceiling. “Spike, before it comes to dark of night, you had better fix that light.” The bulb flickered off, then back on after a moment.
“Awww." Spike wined. It was such a hassle to drag in a ladder big enough for him to reach the lamps he would have been happier to let it wait till Twilight came home.
Spike rubbed his eyes. Had he blinked?
Or had all of the lights in the library just flickered once in unison?
The path to the market ran through a park, and when I reached it I was exhausted.
By that time, the crusaders had outpaced me completely and hadn’t slowed at all when I called for them.
I decided to rest by a small pond for a while. The fillies would be back eventually. Nearby a mint green unicorn played a lyre. I lay down on the cool grass and closed my eyes for a moment. The sound of the lyre melded peacefully with the sounds of wind in the grass and trees, and gentle splashing of ducks.
Then there was a much larger splash, and I opened my eyes. The tan lump of a soggy satchel sat at the edge of the pond, partially submerged. A soaked letter, the address starting to run, floated slowly away.
“Ha ha, looks like she can't even keep hold of the mail.” I looked up to see a trio of pegasus ponies picking on Ditzy, who was already landing to retrieve her soaked bag. She was trying to be brave, but I could see tears in her eyes. “What’s wrong Derpy, mail duty too hard?”
“Hey! Leave Ditzy alone.” While this got the attention of the bullies, what I didn't expect is the attention of another dozen nearby ponies, including the crusaders who, having realized they were missing their tourist, had returned for me.
“What’s this? The cross eyed feather duster has an ally?”
“What’s wrong, can't handle two ponies with only half a brain?” I limped around to be between them and Ditzy.
“Ha, of course! Only Gimpy would befriend Derpy.”
“Gimpy? Why not tripod? I may be missing a leg, but what is your excuse for being so lame?”
“What?!” He seemed enraged to be actually called out.
“Ah, brain damage, that explains it. So sad to be both stupid and ugly.”
“I'm not ugly!” And now he was on the defensive, a place no bully is good with.
“Oh? Do your friends lie and tell you you're handsome?”
“Shut up you stupid tripod.”
“Ha! Run out of your own insults already?” I checked to see that Ditzy was safely off to the side, while around me many ponies were smiling and laughing at the Pegasus. Even his mates were having a hard time suppressing grins and giggles at their leader’s expense. “I should leave, any more of your conversation would infect my brain.”
“You better shut up, or my mates and I will beat you up!”
“I would expect you to need your 'mates', your abilities are too infant-like to do much on your own.” Thank you College English, for teaching me so many Shakespearean insults.
Ditzy had finished recovering from the initial assault and launched herself into the air. “Thank you Sarah!” She called to me, “I'll see you later.”
“Bye Ditzy!” I waved at her. The bullies stared up at the retreating gray dot.
“Hey,” one of the more intelligent in the group cried, “She's getting away! Let’s go get her!” His less than tactful declaration was met with boos, jeers, and even a soda can or two from the crowd. Where did they all come from? Scootaloo had pulled the cart up behind me and was ready to make a swift retreat.
“You’re gonna regret interfering with us, friend.” The leader growled at me.
“Friend? Sir, I do desire that we become better strangers.” I stepped into the cart and shot through the cheering crowds towards freedom.
As we were pulling away a bouncing pink blur caught my eye. It was talking a mile a minute headed right for the cart. “-Oh-my-gosh-there-are-so-many-ponies-here-I-thought-there-had-to-be-a-party-and-then-I-heard-the-insults-and-thought-it-was-an-insult-contest-which-isn't-very-nice-but-then-Ditzy-flew-away-and-” Scootaloo tried to swerve, but forgot that there was a full grown mare and not two little fillies (god the translator has me thinking in pony terms already).
There was a flash of motion to my right and a sharp pain in my head. I felt Scootaloo's cart slide away, and watched the cobblestone path rise up to meet me.
I woke on an uncomfortable bed in a room painted neutral green-gray with a glass of water and wilting flowers on a bedside table. The hallmarks of hospitals everywhere. I groaned and sat up, taking account of myself. I was still clothed, and my backpack lay next to the bed. My scratches had been bandaged, and I could smell antiseptic cream from one of them. The sleeve on my left arm had been rolled up to the elbow, and the greenish black crystals clearly viable. Outside a pair of voices, one male, one female, approached.
“I don't think she will be conscious for at least another day or two, Ms. Sparkle.”
“I understand doctor, but I need to look at those crystals. If they are related to the Crystal Empire or King Sombra in any way-” The door opened and a brown stallion in a doctors coat walked in, followed by a purple unicorn. “Oh,” she said, “you’re awake.”
“Yeah, I guess I'm made of sturdier stuff. How long was I out?”
“No more than a few hours.” The doctor pointed to a clock on the wall. Then he frowned and pulled out a pocket watch. “darn clock's an hour slow, I'll have to get maintenance to fix it.”
“Could I talk to her alone for a moment, doctor?”
“Well, normally I wouldn't, but since it’s you, Ms. Sparkle.” The doctor picked up my chart and walked out. I picked up my pack and slung it over my shoulder.
“Hello, I'm Twilight Sparkle. You must be Sarah.”
“Yes. You’re the librarian? Why are you checking up on someone in a hospital?”
“I'm a scholar and researcher too. Those crystals on your leg, where did you get them?”
“Out exploring.” She wasn't happy with the answer, but I damn sure wasn't going to tell her I was a dimension jumping alien. I've seen that movie, it involves a lot of scientists and dissection.
“Those crystals made it very difficult to get you treated. Every time a unicorn tried to pick you up, the levitation spell would just get sucked up. Even healing spells seemed to dissipate.”
Damn it D, I know you're energy hungry but you could have let them treat me. “Ok, so they cancel spells. They aren't dangerous.”
“You don't know that! They could be cursed, or possessed, or possessed by some cursed thing.” Twilight was acting like she was possessed. “I'd like to run a few tests, if that’s alright.”
“They won't hurt, will they?”
“Of course not, I'd never hurt anypony.” But I'm NOT a pony. “Let me start with a simple scan.”
Twilight's horn glowed purple, and a purple aura surrounded the crystals. Surrounded but did not touch.
Arg, it's like having a cooked steak dangled in front of a starving man.
“It looks like there are two powers currently active.” Twilight nodded, and I saw a floating pencil and notepad jot something down. “I'll have to dispel them before I can know more, one moment.”
STOP HER!!!
I realized a moment before D how bad of a plan that was.
“Wait, don't just-”
The unicorn's horn glowed brighter, and the lights above me flickered.
Twilight stared at the odd creature now before her. It had hands like a minotaur, but feet like a diamond dog. It looked like something Discord would have slapped together.
“Oh my,” she said, realizing that this was probably a completely undiscovered creature. She couldn't be sure until she checked the 87 volumes of Scatter Brained's Guide to the Obscure and Dangerous Creatures of Equestria.
“Tahw did uoy yas?” Sarah asked.
“One of those powers must have been a translator, and the other a disguise spell! This is so exciting! I have to get more data.” Her telekinesis flipped a page in the notebook and pulled spare ink from her saddlebags. She frowned at the empty bottle and began opening drawers and cabinets , pulling out everything in the search for a writing instrument. She kept each new non-writing item suspended in her magic so she wouldn't keep checking the same thing over and over. “They have to keep spare pens or pencils around somewhere. If I were a pen, where would I be?”
Sarah looked down at the purple troublemaker and sighed.
OW! That little pony's spells pack a punch.
“Mo ym!” Twilight said, staring at Sara’s human form.
“What did you say?”
“Eno fo esoht srewop tsum evah neeb a rotalsnart, dna eht retho--” The unicorn was rambling, fiddling with it's notepad, and opening the drawers looking for something.
I guess I'm something new to study. “D, how long till your abilities are restored?”
It's going to take a while. Whatever spell she used, it pretty much knocked out everything I had running. I'll do what I can to get it back.
The lights flickered.
“D?”
That wasn't me, but it's been happening off and on all day. I'd guess Machina is trying to draw power from ambient energy sources.
“We are in a hospital, a power disruption could hurt a lot of ponies.
Um, Sarah?
“What?” I looked up. Floating around me is a soft purple glow were clamps and tweasers, gauze and bandages, thermometers and stethoscopes.
And scalpels. Lots of scalpels.
“Oh fuck me.”