It was a good thing that most aspects of everyday life for ponies could be handled largely on their own. Shining Armor wished that he could claim that the newest city, government and empire in Equestria was simply using a 'hoofs off' approach to stay out of the busy lives of their citizens. That would imply, though, that they could put their hooves in the business of others if they wanted. It also implied that they actually had a government. At the moment the Crystal Empire had only two members; Shining Armor and Cadence.
Forming a new government after the rule of King Sombra wasn't easy. Shining Armor still wasn't sure what all the rooms in the massive capital buildings were even for. The former guard captain had spent his first free day in the palace wandering the expansive complex and had become hopelessly lost no less then three times. After two weeks he was confident that he'd nailed down where all of the important rooms and places were.
The glamor of having an entire city practically worshiping you for saving them from an insane evil wizard had started to wear off after Cadence had nearly tripped over a pile of papers at their front door. She'd been so happy at what appeared to be an entire collection of 'thank you' notes and well wishing that they'd spent the afternoon looking through each and every one. One of the last papers wasn't a 'thank you' note at all though. Written neatly was an inquiry from a citizen who wanted to know how he was supposed to start a postal service up again.
Shining Armor could clearly remember the look of panic on his wife's face, matched by his own, as they hurriedly tried to make a list of all of the essential and non essential services that the Crystal Empire would need. It had turned out to be an almost staggering amount. They'd need sanitation workers, the aforementioned postal service, train conductors, and staff for the palace and countless others. Thus their new focus was to go about hiring all of the ponies they'd need.
That was how Shining Armor found himself alone in a dining room with Cadence reviewing applications for employment from ponies over a thousand years behind the times. Not only were their ideas of resumes a little dated, but apparently Sombra did not think it necessary to keep or maintain records of his day to day functions as supreme pony overlord. He didn't have, or didn't record anyway, a list of who was working where for him. Shining Armor had a strange mental image of the evil unicorn poking his head out the window and demanding somepony make him a sandwich.
That was about the only slightly amusing thing about the situation. Shining Armor was starting to seriously dislike the evil bastard they'd sent packing not even a month ago. Princess Celestia had made this sound a lot more fun before they'd taken the train to the north. "Once you get the hang of administration you'll find it a very rewarding experience." She'd said. "Its akin to riding a bicycle. You never forget once you learn and its only through practice that you do."
Like learning to riding a bike. He thought, trying to decipher the flowery cursive hand writing of one application. Just like trying to learn to ride a bike while its on fire and about to plunge off a cliff...
Cadence had a letter in front of her as well, yawning before she spoke up.
“What do you think about a pony named Glimmer Dust? She'd like to be an assistant with the message service.”
Shining, gave his wife a deadpan look. “I think every crystal pony I’ve seen so far has a name like 'glimmer' or 'ruby' or-.”
“Or Shining?” Cadence added with a giggle.
“I've not seen any of those.” He admitted, putting down the paper he'd been looking at. “Cadence, if we don't actually interview these ponies we'll never know who might actually be capable of doing their jobs. For all we know Glimmer Dust might try and steal everything on her second day."
She nodded at that. “That makes sense, but what's the problem with that?"
“Because I'm getting tired of taking cold showers and baths every morning. There’s nopony here who runs the hot water.” He groused, tapping the applications. “And I haven't even run across any applicants who want the maintenance mare job. Or janitors either.”
Cadence shrugged, still smiling and apparently not seeing the wider issue. “I suppose if we don't get any you could be the maintenance mare and janitor.”
Shining gave her a dirty look, narrowing his eyes and turning in his seat. “And why should I be the janitor?”
“Because I'm the Princess, honey, do you know how it would look if our loyal subjects saw me sweeping the floors?” She was messing with him. That much was obvious by the way she fluffed at her mane with a hoof in pantomime of 'high society ladies' who wouldn't be caught dead doing something so base as menial labor.
Shining Armor grumbled, turning back to the paperwork. “Nopony has any reason to become a janitor. They're so happy to be free from Sombra that they're still celebrating. Yesterday a baker offered me a pie he'd just made for free.”
Cadence raised her eyebrow at that. “You think its a problem that they're happy and being generous?”
He paused, trying to think of a better way to word his concern. “Well...no, just that it won't be long before somepony wants a chair or something and whoever makes chairs is going to want to get paid. Eventually its going to be the baker who's giving pies away for free. I have a feeling that the price of a pie would go up after that and I think it'd be best if we were ready with a staff and kingdom when everypony is done having a party.”
Sighing, Cadence leaned over and patted his hoof with hers. “We will be Shining. Its just going to take a little bit of work. Also, I've been just heating my baths when I need one with magic.”
He blinked, having not considered that. “Oh...you think I could join-.”
She'd already gone back to the applications. “Work first, dear.”
Shining Armor sighed, defeated, and returned back to reviewing for the ponies who had thought far ahead enough to at least ask for jobs.
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“Cadence can you pass me the rag?” Shining asked, inspecting the dusty surface of a bookshelf which was devoid of literature. The pair were in a conference room not too far away from the front entrance of the palace. Like a number of rooms they'd come across this one had dust caked onto almost every surface. Cobwebs had been hung up in the corners of the room and mold was forming underneath the table and chairs.
A wet dirty washcloth wrapped in a aquamarine aura of magic floated in front of him. “I don't even understand how this room can be so dirty.” Cadence said, knelt down and dusting off the underside of the table with her tail in the air.
“Well its been over a thousand years since anypony cleaned it.” He'd been looking at his wife for a long moment, then realized he'd been doing a bit more then just looking. While he felt he was certainly entitled to 'check her out on' on occasion he went back to work quickly lest he get yelled at for not working.
He'd jumped at the chance to dust, preferring it to cleaning a floor.
“Its been in stasis though.” Cadence insisted, her voice muffled from her position. "If it hadn't then all the books in the library would be dust. The buildings would be falling apart too, actually, without any pony to maintain them."
Shining Armor posted up on his hind legs to get at the top most shelves, happy that he had at least a little experience with meticulous cleaning while training in the guard. “Do you really think Sombra would need to use a conference room?” He asked, wishing he had a stool to stand up on.
“Maybe he had meetings with other bad guys?” was her reply, emerging from underneath the table and soaking her cleaning rag into a bucket of water. “Like a council of evil?”
He laughed a little at that, finding the idea a little strange. It was moments like these where he really found he loved his wife quite dearly. They worked almost perfectly together, like a team, in and out of battles with strange monsters and villains that seemed to be constantly crossing their path. Shining Armor was hoping they'd get a reputation in the future so they could avoid altercations like the changeling invasion again.
“I don't know if you noticed but Sombra didn't seem like the most eloquent speaker when we met him. If there were evil council meetings I bet he didn't get invited." Was Shining's speculation, finished with the bookcase enough to join her at the bucket and rinse their respective dust choked rags.
Cadence gave a hum of thought. “So maybe Sombra was just really shy and wanted friends? What a poor misunderstood pony.”
His response to that was to pick up some of the suds made by the cleaning agent they'd used in the bucket and dabbed it on her nose. “No, I think he was just a jerk.”
She went cross eyed trying to look at the bubbles before getting a mischievous look. Suddenly she was bringing up some of the water out of the bucket with magic and splashing Shining Armor on the chest with it.
“Hey!” He said, surprised before rising to the challenge and splashing her back.
Thus started a water fight. Cleaning was forgotten, the bucket very quickly exhausted of all its ammo. In a moment of ingenuity they used the water now puddling on the floor and continued to fling it at one another as best they could. They were eventually left utterly soaked, out of breath and giggling at the silliness of it all.
“You have to go get us more water.” Cadence said.
Shining made a noise of protest. “You started it!”
“No, you did.”
“How do you figure I started?”
Cadence ambled forward and gave him a quick kiss and drew back. “Because you're really fun to mess with.”
“Yeah...well.” That was a pretty effective argument and he relented enough to agree that they should both go and get their own buckets.
_________________________________________________________________________________________
It had seemed like forever but actually they'd only taken about another week of cleaning and reviewing applications when they felt confident enough to conduct interviews. Shining Armor had wanted a divide and conquer approach, namely that he would set up their version of the royal guard and Cadence would hire the staff.
She'd vetoed the notion, accusing him of trying to take the 'cowards way out' and sticking to what he knew while she did the rest.
“But Cadence how am I suppose to know what makes a good chef or not?” He asked, the two of them sitting down in the now very clean and nice smelling conference room.
There were actually twelve conference rooms like this in the whole building but the two of them decided that this would be the one where they conducted all of their job interviews.
“I would just like for us to both know the staff. They're going to be like our family.” Cadence replied while sitting behind the resume of a pony named Chestnut who was scheduled to arrive shortly.
Shining had delivered the message himself to the pony, which he thought sort of spoiled the point of an interview. He probably could have done it at the stallion's house but he cared more about his wife than for something as inconsequential as 'logic'.
“But what are we supposed to ask?”
“Well I guess we should ask if he can cook. That would probably be a good first step.”
“Do you really think a pony would apply to be a chef if they couldn't cook?” Shining asked, with a touch of incredulity.
“Well unless we ask how do we know?” She countered, they'd been having discussions like this since they started dealing with the process of hiring.
They were saved from a repeat conversation by the door opening and a shiny crystal brown coated stallion with a chefs hat walking in. Evidently he was named after the color of his coat for his cutie mark was of a plate of food with a wineglass next to it.
Other than being particularly shiny and crystal-like, Shining Armor couldn't make out much of a difference between crystal and 'normal' ponies. Then again, he hadn't really asked so it was possible he was wrong. For all he knew they might have the ability to squirt acid out of their eyes and nopony had ever had the idea to ask them.
“Its nice to meet you, Mr. Chestnut.” Cadence said cheerfully, the crystal pony bowing low and then rising. He didn't look like he could shoot acid. Shining knew he was risking getting smacked if he tried to make that a part of the interview process.
“Its nice to meet both of you, your majesties, thank you again for saving us.” He said, the chef sounding very well educated at least.
“It wasn't a problem.” Shining assured the pony, waving him off with his hoof. They'd been also getting thanked continuously anytime they poked their heads out of the palace. “We were happy to help. Please sit down.”
After Chesnut did sit on the side opposite of them they got down to the interview. Things like what he'd done for a living before Sombra and what he hoped to accomplish in the future. All in all Shining Armor thought it had gone remarkably well; their first interview actually progressing and was hardly even being painful in the slightest.
“How would you rate your cooking ability?” He asked, taking down a few notes which were namely ideas he'd had for what they might get prepared for them. Neither Cadence or he knew the first thing about cooking beyond just 'heat thing up on stove, put in mouth' or variations of the same formula. They were getting a little better compared to the disasters of their first few nights in the palace but it was Shining's turn to cook this evening. If he was extraordinarily lucky perhaps Chestnut could start right away and make them something more decent to celebrate their first successful hire.
Chestnut smiled, giving a modest shrug. “I've been cooking almost all my life. I used to work for the royals who were in this palace before Sombra too. You won't have any problem with me making whatever you want. I could even move into my old quarters if they're still here.”
That sounded great, both he and Cadence were smiling now at what appeared to be a open and shut application. “That would be wonderful. How soon can you work?”
“Oh, I could start immediately.” He said, also looking rather pleased.
“That's excellent.” Shining Armor said, putting his hoof down onto the table. “You're hired.”
“I'm really glad to hear that Prince and Princess.” Chestnut said, rising up from the table. "Oh, how much are you going to pay me?”
Shining suddenly had a sinking feeling in his stomach as both he and his wife stared at the other pony who was staring at them back waiting for an answer. They'd evidently forgotten something, husband and wife trading nervous glances. “Well...” Shining began.
Later that evening they were both in the palace kitchen, Cadence sitting at a table while Shining tried to transform tomatoes into tomato soup. It was a lot harder then it sounded and Shining was pretty sure they were just going to be eating boiled up tomatoes instead of actual soup. “We're going to need money.” He began.
Cadence sighed, resting her head on the table. “How could we forget that we need to pay our staff? Weren’t you the one who said we needed to make the economy start up again?”
“I forgot the pay part. I mean, its not like we don't work for free.” Shining admitted. “I don't think it would have mattered much if we thought about it though."
“You don't have any money?” Cadence said suddenly, raising her head up off of the table and giving him a curious look.
Shining was very intently trying to stir the mixture of tomato into soup until, on a whim, decided to throw in some carrots. Maybe they'd just have a general stew, not just tomato soup specifically. It couldn't hurt, could it? “I did, but I spent a lot of it on our wedding and honeymoon. I never made very much as a Captain. What about you?”
“Just being a princess doesn't mean I'm fabulously wealthy.” Was her answer, looking a little depressed at the revelation that they were effectively bankrupt as a kingdom already.
“Well....Maybe Princess Celestia will lend us some?” Shining broached the subject with some hesitancy, deciding to change up the way he was stirring. He wondered if that had an impact on the taste at all.
Cadence winced at the idea, apparently not liking it all that well. “Won't she think we're irresponsible if we start asking for money right away?”
“She sort of just gave us this whole place to run, she has to know we'll need more help. The only other way would be to start taxing the crystal ponies and if you were concerned about them being happy before...I guarantee you that would stop in a hurry if we did.” Shining argued, bringing the spoon he'd been using up to punctuate his point.
“I know, I know. We'll probably have to do that eventually anyway. Money is complicated.” Cadence complained, still sitting while watching him attempt to prepare their meal.
Shining hummed slightly, deep in thought but mostly focused on the matter of the vegetable stew. It was bubbling but he couldn't be sure when it was technically suppose to be done. “You know, I bet Twilight would come up and help us if we asked. She's really good at organizing.”
Cadence gave him an unimpressed look. “You want to dump all of the work on your little sister?”
He shook his head quickly. “No, I was thinking that maybe we just make her the crystal princess. I bet she'd do a great job.”
It was fortunate that the soup he made was actually not half bad or he would have been in more trouble for that idea.
_________________________________________________________________________________________
Dear Princess Celestia
We're very happy to be here in the Crystal Empire. It turns out we actually have a mail room and this is the only blank piece of paper we could find in the whole palace. Things are going well. We need money. As we begin normal day to day life in the Empire our attempts at hiring staff and create a functioning government have been met with financial limitation. Since we're both broke.... You once promised us that you would support our endeavors in any way that you could. Sending Twilight and the Elements of Harmony to stop King Sombra was very helpful but we feel it is best to have continued assistance.
Was there a reason both you and Princess Luna couldn't have came and helped with that? I went one on one with Sombra and only just barely lost. I bet all of us together could have blasted him into dust in five sec
While we wouldn't think to ask for continued donations our exploration of the palace revealed that King Sombra cleared out the majority of the royal treasury. It would be unfair to the crystal ponies to begin taxing them when they still possess very little. We also live up in the north pole, I'm not sure what you expect anypony to make besides ice sculptors. Any contribution that you can make in hard currency would likely go a long way towards allowing the Crystal Empire to return to complete normality within the end of the year.
Your faithful and good friends.
Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and Captain of the Royal Guard (Ret.) Shining Armor
PS: If you're not using Twily I think she'd make a great accountant and administrator. We were thinking of making her grand vizir and going off on a vacation.
_________________________________________________________________________________________
To my good friends Princess Cadence and Shining Armor.
You do not need to hesitate in asking for help from me. I have instructed that this letter is to be attached with five hundred thousand bits. This is not a loan, but a gift and I know you will use it well to manage the affairs of your citizens. I need not remind you the dangers of monetary inflation and suggest that you only gradually reintroduce currency into the local economy. Ponies are, as you've no doubt noticed by now, largely self sufficient and capable of managing their own affairs.
I also have every faith that the citizens of the Crystal Empire will become helpful and important members to the local Equestrian economy. Attached are maps of resources in the area that I recall from the time when the Empire was still around and I would remind you that ice sculptors are not an insignificant commodity. Many ponies have earned their cutie marks based on the art alone and they make excellent dinner center pieces.
Sincerely
Princess Celestia
PS: I have also had ten thousand sheets of blank paper sent with the money.
_________________________________________________________________________________________
"Ever since I was a little filly I've been interested in gardening. When I was nine I arranged a flower garden for my school and when I was eleven I-" A green crystal pony mare was speaking rather enthusiastically to the two royals managing the Crystal Empire.
That same enthusiasm was not matched on either Princess Cadence or Shining Armor's faces. They were on their five hundredth, sixty seventh interview after over a month. After checking the ancient laws of the Crystal Empire very carefully, on the advice of their second interview, (who'd been applying for position as the head lawyer of the Empire ironically enough) they found that they could legally not hire anypony during a 'hiring process' until after they'd interviewed everypony who applied regardless of the jobs being applied for.
This meant that even after the arrival of the money that they couldn't just give it out. If they tried they risked being accused of paying ponies under the table. Apparently the legal teams of the Crystal Empire were the first businesses to return to normal once the celebrations died down. Shining Armor had suggested that maybe King Sombra had the right idea of ruling as an absolute dictator this morning at breakfast and didn't even get a dirty look from Cadence for it which was a testament to their fatigue with the long process.
Emerald Twinkle, as the gardener pony they were interviewing was called, was actually only the second gardener they'd seen. Unfortunately the first had been interview one hundred and twenty eight and Shining Armor could barely remember the other ponies face. They'd started taking very careful notes of what they thought at the fiftieth interview. He was sure that they'd eventually break down and just hire both gardeners anyway.
The outside hedgerows and bushes were pretty expansive and was likely more than one tender could handle by their self. Helpful ponies had been tending the gardens for free to keep the weeds and overgrowth from looking to bad which raised the question of why they were even bothering to make it a job in the first place.
"And that's how I earned my cutiemark!" Emerald Twinkle said. Each and every applicant had told them the story of how they earned their cutiemark. At first it had been touching and endearing but now Shining felt like he was a hair trigger away from running out of the rooms screaming if he had to hear another one.
Cadence recovered first, clearing her throat as she straightened up in her seat. "That was a wonderful story, Emerald. We'll pay you five bits an hour and send you a message when we're done with our interviews for when you can start your job."
"That might take awhile..." Shining murmured, finishing jotting down his notes for this interview.
Emerald smiled at first, but then seemed to remember something. "Oh, but don't you want to hear about my ideas for the fountain you have in the grounds out back?"
"Ah, I'm sure we'll have plenty of time to discuss that later." Shining covered for his wife, who had some difficulty saying no at completely reasonable sounding requests while speaking to a pony, even if she wanted to.
After rushing Emerald out of the door, Shining returned to his chair and sunk into the comfortable cushions. Cadence had her head back up against the back of the seat with her eyes closed at the sheer tedium that these interviews had become.
"I have an idea..." Shining began, looking at his wife.
"What's that?" She asked, not opening her eyes.
"Next time we should just hire a pony to do these interviews for us..."
Cadence sighed and glanced at the clock. The next interview was coming up in five minutes. "Do you know there's a spell in the Canterlot library that lets you go back in time for short periods? We should use it and warn ourselves to do that first."
Shining had to admit that it sounded like a good idea but could see a flaw. "If we did, wouldn't we already have known it? I think we must have been stopped when we tried. Or caused a time paradox and ended the universe."
"It might still be worth the risk..." Cadence said, bringing out the next form and reading the name. "...Shining Light. Oh look, there is a crystal pony with the name Shining. How funny is that, Shining Armor?"
That was the point where Shining Armor decided to start banging his face on the table.