“How many times did I hafta tell ya, Golden?”
“Papa! I’m sorry”
“No yer not! You little ungrateful bastard!”
“Sparkling! Stop!”
“No! The little shit knew what he was doin! And now look what he done!”
“Wait, Sparkling, who’re they?”
“What the hell?”
“Sparkling, get him to the cellar, they look like trouble.”
“C’mon Golde-“
“Sparkling! Git down!”
“Mama!”
“No!”
“Papa! Don’t go! Don’t go Papa!”
That woke me into the strange morning with sweat dripping down my forehead and painted on my neck. My heart was pounding through my chest. That dream, that memory I thought I had long forgotten, but it still haunts me. Deep in the crevice of my mind I try to lock it away but it gets out, I can only blame myself for what had happened that day so long ago.
I swung my hooves over the side of the bed and sat there for a moment, trying to tune out the painful memory that I had no idea still existed in my mind. I was so helpless, I watched them die, both my parents, right in front of me. I couldn’t do anything. I had stayed there, in that home before I wrote to my cousin. I cried so many nights. No one knew what happened except me. I left the farm and went to live away from everypony. Secluded, serine, quiet, spacious, without anyone to come looking for me.
I pulled myself up and looked at the time. It was early, four-O’-seven in the morning. That dream of what happened that night so long ago was-unexpected. I closed my eyes and thought of what was currently important. I said it aloud.
“Find the targets, eliminate them, they never existed.” With that I got up to all my legs and went to the chair, my coat draped over it. It was security, it was safe, it was one of the few things that reminded me of home. The strong stitching along the side of the duster and the sweet felt lining the sleeves were all I had that made me feel like I belonged anywhere.
Once in a while I’ll have that dream of what was said that day, or that walk away from it all- I remembered it all too much. The grey clouds melted through the blue sky and left a blue cobalt shadow left casted upon the land. The last of the apple trees had left go of their leave to watch them be carried away by the wind of autumn. The cool air rose from the orchards and the smell was long forgotten, the only noise was of my little hooves being dragged through the leaves and dirt on my way out of where I had been-where I had lived.
It hurt, the memory of what I had. I was so young then and yet I had grown so old over the years that had been drug out day by day. Now though, I realized I grew up around nopony, no one cared for me and for that I never had the same feeling for anyone else. The only ones I cared for was and till this day still is my cousin. She would always be there for me, and vice versa.
I threw my duster over my shoulders and grabbed my hat flipping it onto my head by my mouth. My hoof was sore from not realizing I had been wearing my gun all night. I flipped the clip out.
“Three rounds,” I said to myself nodding slightly.
I reached for my bag.
“Where in the world-“ I asked myself looking on the floor.
“It’s not here?” I asked.
Then it hit me I forgot to unload it from the car last night. I’ll have to reload the thing when we’re leaving. I put on the black leather boots that wearily sat at the foot of my bed. I strapped them to my hind legs closely tying the stitching up at the top keeping them secure. I stood from the bed and looked down at the white canvas shirt I had on under my coat, covered in dirt and stained. Then I looked at my big black duster it was worn and turned away too many times to count before it found its troubled owner. I’m glad it found its home on my shoulders rather than somepony else, I needed it not as a coat but more as a reminder. The scars that were once bullet holes fitted and sew back to little surface lines that were no more. This was me, the coat a reflection, and like all coats, I know deep down every coat has been thrown away. That was me, thrown away, but ever since then I’ve nowhere to go.
I walked to the door of my hotel room. A cold breeze came from under the slits in the door that brushed up against the fur lining my hooves. I pushed the handle down opening it to the open air.
A thick blue mist covered the ground and left some perspiration on my coat, the morning air was cool and new as the taste and smell of the moisture in the air clouded the senses to the degree of such easy pleasantness that I had not experienced in a long time. The smell of evergreen trees mixed with the pleasant aroma of the mist. I took a long deep breath of the air before walking down the lines on doors of other inn rooms.
I slowly walked down the cold walkway bordered by rooms, eight- then nine- then ten- then eleven- then-
“Don’t worry,” I heard coming from room twelve with the door open slightly.
“This won’t take long, I promise.” I heard from the door.
“I will be back before you know it, nothing will happen to me and I will make sure I write to you every night.” I heard leaking from the room.
“I can’t wait to get back and see your beautiful face again. Your iron horse, Starblazer.” I heard him conclude. I tapped the door with a hoof. He spun to look at me, his eyes shinned from tears as he tried to wipe them away before I saw but I did.
“Hey," I said opening the door.
"I was just going to get you." He said wiping away the tears from his face.
"You writing to a special somepony?” I asked sitting on the bed beside him on the bed.
“Not exactly.” He calmly stated as tears began running down his face again.
“I love her and would do anything for her, but, I don’t think she sees anything in me.” He said looking at the ground in mid sentence.
“I’ve never felt anything towards anypony,” I said watching him sniveling a little. Then I thought of that little mare back at the station, how i felt then.
“If she doesn’t like ya, I don’t see any reason why you should try to go for something so far out of reach.” I said sitting down next to him.
“Not to sound cold hearted but everyone's got somepony meant for him. Maybe it’s not her.” I said putting a hoof around him. He dragged a hoof across his face snorting in whatever tears tried to escape his cheeks.
“But I don’t want to give her up,” He said quietly.
“I will not meet anypony like her again.”
We sat in silence for a minute, it was sad seeing him like this. The poor thing, he was love struck and he never wanted to move on, I can’t imagine having feeling like that for anypony but I guess it’ll come when it comes.
“Star,” I said pulling myself together.
“We have to get to Canterlot.” I announced as I began to get up and walk to the door. From behind me I heard the springs of the bed cringe and squeak as he rose from it.
“Alright.” I heard him say shakily.
We both walked out into the fog, the mist still fresh and clean beneath an overcast sky. Starblazer entered the grey cloud to get to his car. All I heard was a click and then the roar of the beast that was a vehicle. Then from the fog two flaring beams broke the cloud and cut into the air. I approached the beastly noise out in the fog, once I got to the car door I threw myself over landing square in the seat.
“Canterlot?” I heard him yell over the engine.
“Yeah.” I yelled back so he could hear me. He reached a hoof over to the glove compartment and opening it with a pull of a lever from under the dashboard.
“We’re gonna be driving in some rain!” He said pointing to a pair of some eye goggles.
“There’s some goggles in there, we’re gonna need them.”
I pulled out two pairs and gave one to him, he strapped the lenses to his face. He wore an old looking flat cap-similar to the one he wore yesterday but more grey and worn looking.
I was jerked forward as the car backed out and thrown over into Starblazer’s side as he turned out onto the dirt road.
“When was that last time you been to Canterlot?” He yelled over the beast under the hood.
“About seventeen years!” I yelled.
“I barely remember it!”
“Well, what you do remember won’t be there!” He screamed as the tires screeched as he made a turn onto rougher road that bounced the car about.
“Ever since the world hit it’s industrial stage, the city has changed for better or worse. Depens on how you look at it!” He yelled again.
He straightened out as he slammed his hoof farther onto the petal. At that point the sheer force kept me in my seat. As he turned the next corner the car skidded sideways as dirt was kicked up from the road throwing rocks and debris into the air. He slowed down as he shifted the shifter before slamming his hoof back onto the gas. We turned onto a straightaway edged with stones.
Ahead a veil of blurred grey streaks fell within what looked like a mile away but felt like a second as we flew through it. In moments we were pelted by rain that stung my face and ears. I looked over to Baritone, through the goggles he seemed to have he eyes closed with a huge grin stretched across his face.
“Feel that Mr. Golden?” Starblazer called out over the noise around us.
“The wind, the rain, the smell, the speed?” I heard him say as he leaned closer to the front of the car.
“It’s so free, so…” He trailed off mid sentence. All he did was take a deep breath; his chest rose and sank back into his shirt. His looked ahead but his eyes were sad, there was something deep in his mind that was unsettling or hurt him, I ignored it and just sat there.
“There’s a gasoline station up ahead!” He exclaimed.
“I’m almost out of fuel so we’ll have to stop!”
I looked up to the clouds, the rain fell from them quickly. I pulled off my hat, I was surprised it was still on my head, and set it between my legs. I let the rain get into my hair, the cool drizzle ran down my face. It was calming-the grey skies and rain. I closed my eyes and let it take me away to a different spot in my mind. I wasn’t asleep I was just deep in thought, where am I going to go after I’m done with all of this? This running around and shooting? This isn’t a fit life for anypony yet here I am. I watch the sun rise and I watch it set on other’s lives. I could change it, I had enough money to move to a place like this. Spend my days living here in the rain, the calm, and soothing rain.
The car pulling left snaps me out of my trance as we pulled into a small gas station with one light peeling away the grey rain from it. Starblazer’s car smoothly drifted next to a pump no more than two feel from the pump. He didn’t even bother honking the horn all he did was rev the engine with a single growl from the engine. The shout from the car was so strong you could see the windows shake.
At that the door flew open. A tall red work-horse stood in the door, his overalls stained black with what I think is grease and his white shirt speckled with brown dots. Black blotches covered his face and a cap sat crooked on his head. A towel was slung over his shoulder.
“Is this a self service?” Star asked.
“Nnnope,” I heard him call out. The figure seemed familiar, too familiar and with that voice. My heart skipped a beat at the sudden realization of whom that voice belonged to.
I jumped out of the car and quickly walked over to the door. I stared at the figure in awe , that face I had almost forgotten, that face I had not seen in years. I stood there in the rain gazing at him-hoping, just hoping it was whom I thought it was, hoping they would have recognized me.
“What,” I heard the big horse say.
“Is that really you?” I heard him ask over the pelting rain. With a tear almost ready to be shed from my face I nodded with more joy than I have ever felt as a smile crossed my face.
I could not do anything else besides wrap my hooves around his waist tightly.
“No," He said.
"It can't be, you're dead-you're supposed to be dead." He said shaking his head as he spoke.
"Mackintosh you haven't changed in years." He came closer to my face, staring hard into my eyes.
"Golden?” He asked. I nodded once. His eyes flew open suddenly as he backed into the door frame again.
“Please,” he said to me, then gestured to Baritone.
“Come on in, stay a spell.” He called out. I no longer felt the vibration in my chest from the car and then I heard him behind me. We both walked into the small room. The red workhorse sat down at a table in the far wall. He angled the chair so it faced the two guests facing him. A lantern in the middle of the room lit it up nicely.
His body was shifted sideways, slanted in his chair. His face was worn and tired and his body had lost its once strong build. Bags under his eyes showed how exhausted he’d been. It was sad seeing him like this. He was once the strongest plow horse Equestria’s ever seen, probably the strongest period. Seeing him like this though as a little shocking.
“Big Macintosh,” I said happily with relief.
“We thought you was dead, Golden,” Big Mac pointed out, looking at me with a strange face as if he didn’t trust me.
“When we heard about your parents bein dead an all we could only assume the worst since you wasn’t there but they were.” He said taking off the hat that had barely fit on his head.
“Big Mac, you don’t realize, I had no where else to g-“
“Why not come to us?” Macintosh asked angrily leaning forward in his seat.
“We would not have hesitated to take you in. You’re family for fuck sake.” He said while wearing a look of disgust.
“Your cousin thought you were dead.” All he did was look to the window.
"I'm sorry," That was all that I could say. I felt terrible for completely disappearing like that.
“She cried fer days.” He finished looking down at the floor almost half defeated.
“But thank goodness you’re here now.” A weak smile crossed Big Mac's face.
“How is she?” I asked.
“Your cousin stayed on the farm after Granny Smith died.” Macintosh said tapping the table with one hoof.
“Everyone else kinda scattered throughout Equestria, ya rarely find any of us farmin' anymore.” He looked at the table and then looked down.
“Applebloom ain't around no more.” He began rubbing his face, I had an itching feeling that I was bringing all these painful memories.
“She fell in front of some train coming back from a market run in Canterlot’s Market District.” A sad sigh fell from his mouth as sad heavy eyes were painfully etched onto his face.
“She lost you, then Granny Smith, then poor sweet little Applebloom, but your cousin’s strong and she can pull through, she's a strong mare that's fer damn sure.” He said with a smile and teary eyes.
“I glad she didn’t lose everythin that meant somethin ta her.” Macintosh said to me weakly.
“You stop by the Farm, back in Ponyville,” The smile faded quickly.
“Say hi to ma baby sister.” He uttered under his breath.
He walked to the door slowly.
“The fill up is on me, just stay in here until she’s filled up.” Big Mac ducked his head out the door and ventured out into the rain.
I stood by the window and watch the rain pelt the glass and wash down to the ground. Time had gone by too fast, faster that I’d ever wanted it to. Now this is the result from all of it. I have a feeling if I hadn’t left after my parents were killed, things would have been different...