“Months, years — as time passes, change is inevitable.”
I read that somewhere. Sometime in Kokiri, I read in a scroll this philosophical statement. What did it mean? I didn’t know at the time. But now, I see. This applies to me in so many ways.
Before I forget, I have to mention it’s been so lonely for me. So, so lonely. I’ve never been this lonely in my entire life. In Kokiri, I always took it for granted that I would always have great friends to hang out with. Now, the skull kids would stay away from me and the Kokiri kids are scared of skull kids. So, I’m left on my own. I thought that this withdrawal would be simple and painless, but it has proven anything but. In desperation, I would talk to the skull kids, but they wouldn’t pay me any heed.
On my own, there’s nothing to do. There’s also this great homesickness that took over me for the first few days, but it died out. Eventually, the cold reality of being entirely on my own gripped me and refused to let go. Unlike homesickness this didn’t die out. No, it just got worse and worse. Every day I had to cope with this and carry on my life without talking.
I also noticed myself, almost degrading. Without anyone to actually talk to, I can’t be influenced or stay sane. This notepad is good enough, but it isn’t the same. It’s like when you love eating chocolate. Then, it turns out it has run out of stock and you need to eat cheap substitutes like cocoa beans and coffee. That isn’t the real thing; you have to have real chocolate. But you have to deal with it. It’s the same thing with friends, except it takes a bigger toll on your life.
Now, with no one to learn from, I have begun to lose everything I’ve learned before. My thoughts have turned into thinking my poor state and about what pranks I can play on these undeserving whelps. Everything I think about is bitter. Why do these people stay away from me? I’m my own person, aren’t I? What have I done to deserve this? Do these people have some sort of mental illness and I’m immune to such stupidity? What is this blindness that surrounds everyone in Hyrule? I should deserve to be god above these puny mortals who choose to ignore me. Sorry, I went off on a tangent there.
Seriously though, I should stop pitying my situation. That only leads to negative thoughts, which seem to happening on a frequent basis. Nothing good ever came out of it. Speaking of which, I was thinking about how I acted to the Deku Tree. It had a point, I shouldn’t have gone there, but my blind rage just seized me. I forgive it, for the most part. Objective words often lead to unhappiness, though the truth is learned.
But let’s start back at the first day. After I stayed in the forest, I decided to make my own house, or shelter to live in. I didn’t see the other skull kids having houses, but I’m pretty sure they would just sleep on the forest floor. Since I had my standards and I wanted to rebel from the skull kids’ customs, I set out through the forest for materials.
At first I was unsure what I would use to make a shelter, but I had a general idea. A simple hut like the ones in Kokiri: off the ground and easy to make. But, the majority of the houses were made of wood, which was in abundance. Though, I couldn’t make it without an axe and I was probably too weak even if I did.
Still, I made my blueprints in the notepad. The house was situated on a supported platform with a ladder leading up to it. The house had a dome-shape and was only big enough to fit in a bed and some space. I sketched how the overlay was going to look like and, on a separate page, the blueprint of the house. It didn’t take that long to make it, and soon I was searching for a place where it was going to be.
I managed to get lost again, trying to find a place. Something about the forest tries to deceive you every time you walked through. Every tree looked exactly the same. I stumbled about; trying to go in what I thought was a straight line, not letting any other clearings distract me.
But, wait. Wasn’t that the same place I was just at? I walked in a complete circle! I started out in a place with a rock directly in the middle of four trees, and here I was then. I was so confused. How could I have been so dumb to walk in big circle?
I set off again, this time making turns left or right every few minutes to make sure I was actually going somewhere. This time, I felt sure I was going progressively away from my original starting point and I saw different sights before me. But before long, I was back again at the four trees and the rock.
I was furious. How could such a straightforward area lead me astray? I started running as fast as I could in a random zigzagging path, weaving in and out of trees. At one point, the branches whipped at me so much, that I closed my eyes and sprinted blindly.
Eventually I opened my eyes again. What I saw disappointed me and relieved me. Before me was the clearing with the pond that I was found in. I couldn’t believe I got backtracked all the way here, but I was glad I was somewhere familiar. In that moment, I was so annoyed at the Lost Woods that I swore not to lose myself there again. It was a long time before I set foot back into there.
Since I was so tired of running like a madman, I collapsed on a comfortable region of grass and dropped my pen and notepad beside me. I fell asleep before I even hit the soft blades of grass covered in dew.
I slowly opened my eyes. I didn’t even know I had eyelids on this face, but apparently something blocked off all light. Slowly, I began to squint at the blinding sunlight that bedazzled the clearing. As I got my bearings, I looked around me. My jaws dropped.
In front of me was the house made in just the same way as the blueprint. I rubbed my eyes with my gloved hands. When I looked up, it was still there. I pinched my arm, hard. Nothing. It was like a dream, the house I wanted was right there and I didn’t have to do the hard work I thought I would need to do. But how did this happen? I grew giddy with excitement. I had the house I wanted and I didn’t have to worry about anything anymore.
As my ecstasy died out, I grew bewildered. What happened while I was asleep that would cause this house to appear out of nowhere? Pondering what could have happened I looked around me at the forest.
“Who did this?” I asked.
I was so confused that I didn’t even know who I was asking. I just wanted to know who would be so productive as to make such a house in, according to the sun, just a few hours. I hadn’t expected a response, but it came.
Three skull kids stepped forward out of the right side of the clearing, where the pond was. They stood on the opposite bank and peered mysteriously at me through their masks. We stood in stony silence as I tried to find my words.
After a few moment I cleared my throat. “Uh, hello I guess,” I said tentatively, not wanting to appear that aggressive. “Did you guys make this?” I didn’t know that skull kids could make such things. Based on their appearances when I got here, all they seemed capable of was laughing and playing.
The one in the middle spoke. “No.”
I grew more and more confused. “Well then, if you guys didn’t, who did?”
He spoke again. “The Woods gives to those who are worthy. The Woods has much power. We are its messengers.”
What? What was he talking about? Something about the forest making my house? That doesn’t make any sense. Did everything they had to tell me be in some cryptic form of riddle that I had no idea of solving? I opened my mouth to ask him even more, but he interrupted once more.
“Learn to be one of us,” he said, extending his hand out to me. “Live. Breathe. Dream. Think. Wonder. Understand. Only then can you be one with the woods, and one of us. Only then can you learn the way of the skull kid. You have much potential. Your fate is shining bright. Don’t stray from the path and be thrust into darkness. Also, whatever you do, don’t leave Hyrule.”
I left my mouth hanging open. The three turned around and disappeared back into the forest. I couldn’t even describe how bewildered I was. Everything he said didn’t serve as an explanation, only more confusion. Was I supposed to guess how everything worked? How was I supposed to decipher anything from that philosophical speech? Become one of them? Yeah, right. Their eccentric ways only unnerved me further than it should have. What was the point in talking to them anyway? Just to confuse me?
I stood there for a moment, thinking about everything. I shrugged and looked at my newfound house. Pretty much everything was on par on what I had on the blueprints. I circled the house, admiring the detail that someone or something managed to make. I climbed the ladder up to the platform. It was just as I planned, spacious enough to walk on, but still rather narrow.
I stepped into the house. There on a table in the center was my notepad with a pen on top. On my right, the bed took about a third of the space. On my left, there was a bookshelf next to the drawer covering the entire left wall. It was amazing that this could be created in just a few hours.
The floor and the walls were made of wood, though the roof was thatched by straw. Simple, yet functional for my needs, just as I had intended. At this point I didn’t question how it came to my possession, but I was glad I wouldn’t sleep on the cold ground again. I sat on my bed, exhausted by all of the events that had occurred and processing all of the advice the skull kids gave me. Still, as I lay on my bed, I couldn’t go back to sleep in such short notice. There was part of me that still wanted to keep adventuring onward and find out everything that I could know.
I walked out and climbed down the ladder. I was right about to head into the forest again, but I remembered how horribly lost I got last time. Shuddering a little, I decided to stay in the clearing for the time being. It was probably safer than to risk the maze of trees losing myself in them.
The clearing was rather small, however, and wouldn’t suit my exploring that well. But, my annoyance and frustration with the forest pushed me to stay put where I was. So I walked the borders of the clearing about twenty times, before I memorized every detail of the clearing.
After that, I grew so sick of my surroundings that I went back into my house. Already, the house felt like the one I lived in in Kokiri. The Deku Tree already assigned one to me, so I lived in there ever since I was little. It always had that sense of home and coziness that never went away. Thinking about it then, I was struck with a huge wave of homesickness. This house was only a pale imitation of the real thing, even though it was nearly identical. It didn’t have the same feel. It wasn’t in my home village, Kokiri. It just wasn’t the same. I curled in a ball on the bed, wondering what was happening to my life.
The days passed on. Like sand in your hands. You might collect as much of them as you possibly can, but they will slip through your fingers whether you like it or not. Carrying on with days, trying to learn something, but wasting away.
At first, I was tentative to go to the forest. After a few tries, I grew more and more confident. More and more explorations made me go deeper and deeper. I don’t know how to describe it, but as I kept going in, the forest didn’t try to confuse me anymore. The trees were no longer imposing and actually told me where to go. I knew the forest like the back of my hand now and it took seconds to get to where I wanted to go. It was almost as if I became one with the forest and part of it resided in me and guided me.
Still, I couldn’t get along with the skull kids. Early on, I tried to hide from them, but they turned out to be friendly. I would go up to them and try to make some normal conversation between them, but all they seemed capable of was giggling. The guy who gave such a philosophical speech was either nowhere or just blended with the rest of the lot.
I grew sick of their incessant laughter. Soon my conversations turned into pranks with them trapped in a hole or sleeping from poppy flowers. They would always laugh, even though they were victims. I was angry at them, but then I would just laugh along with them. Why not? They didn’t know who I was or what I needed. So much for being one of them. They just wouldn’t comply with me.
It didn’t matter. Trees were better friends to be with. Leaning against one of them satisfied me for hours on end. There was nothing to do and I didn’t want to leave the forest so quickly, I still had things to do. Like talk to my favorite tree, Tim. That sounded so much better in my head. I know I sound rather pathetic, but that was my life at that point. Worthless.
One important event happened only two weeks after my house was built. By then I was quite acquainted with my clearing and the skull kids. I noticed every skull kid had a mask of their own, though I still didn’t want to be a skull kid myself. Eventually, I grew sick of my face. Why was it like a watermelon anyways? Looking in the water day after day grieved me even further. I hated my identity. I hated what I had become. With the mask, I could become anonymous and mysterious. I needed something to hide behind, so I wouldn’t appear as mortal as I was. I wouldn’t appear as raw and helpless if I had the mask and I could regain some sense of my life that I lost. I wanted a face that I wouldn’t be ashamed of. Something to give me freedom. I decided to go retrieve my mask.
There I was, just a few days after I threw the mask in. I sat next to the edge of the water, gauging how deep this pond would prove to be. Since I already saw how hideous I looked without clothes to cover myself, I foolishly decided to plunge in fully-clothed. I dove into the cold pond. It was freezing and I was out of breath soon. Opening my eyes didn’t help: everything was murky in this pond, even though it was safe to drink. I breast-stroked hard and reached out blindly for what I wanted. Soon, I came across my hat and I opened my eyes. In front of me was a scrap of paper, but no mask. How could that be?
By that point, I was running out of breath. Bubbles gushing out of my mouth, I swam as quickly as I could to the top. The cold cleaved its way to my bone and tried to make me stop. White pain erupted in my vision and I thought I died.
I burst through the surface, gasping. I swam to the bank and sat there, exhausted. Why wasn’t it there? The only way that it could have disappeared, is if someone or something took it. Could it be the skull kids? Nah, they wouldn’t take back what they gave me. The woods, as the kids supposedly said? That probably wouldn’t happen, since it only benefits the skull kids. The Kokiri Kids? They wouldn’t swim into a pond.
Soon, the fuzziness disappeared from my vision, and the world wasn’t a colossal blur anymore. As I slowly started seeing properly, I glanced around. Who could have taken the mask, then? I doubted that I would be able to find that person: He or she would have had to have stolen it in the few weeks when I threw it in and when I went to retrieve it. What was their motive? What could they possibly achieve from stealing a mask?
Scanning around, I saw a person standing ominously on the opposite bank from me and my house. What was stranger was that that person wasn’t running or anything, he was just standing there, staring into me. Our eyes met for a few moments. Regaining my senses, I jumped up to my feet and ran around the pond. The person silently ran into the woods.
Since it was just a few weeks after my horrendous misadventure in the accursed woods, I was reluctant to step inside there again on such short notice. As I ran to where he was standing, I hesitated, peering into the depths of the forest, before sprinting in the general direction of his path.
After running blindly through the trees, I saw the faint outline of him running. I picked up my pace, even though I could feel the right side of my abdomen cramping up. Still, the adrenaline and curiosity of this thief kept me running. I wasn’t angry, surprisingly; I just wondered what one would do with my mask. My breath came out in short, ragged gasps after being put through so much physical exercise. I carried on, through all of my pain. Something told me that this was worth it.
After following him for several minutes, I lost him. He must have outrun me somehow. I kept going, knowing that he would stop at some point. After relentlessly running for a minute, I saw him. He was facing me. I ran up to him, before stopping abruptly twenty feet away. What I was expecting, whatever I was expecting, was not this.
An eccentric young man stood in front of me, hands intertwined. He was garbed in all purple: Purple jacket with a purple shirt that had a gold collar, purple pants, and purple slippers. His left wrist was embraced by an intricate gold bracelet. He had pointed ears and his auburn hair had its side-burns shaved. Something about him boasted his eccentricity with his closed eyes and unnerving aura.
What was most astonishing about him was his immense backpack. Masks of all sizes covered it. I could only imagine what could be in the backpack if the masks couldn’t even fit inside. The masks just made me stare in wonder. Each one had their own story and had their own power that resonated with its own atmosphere. It was easy to appreciate the significance of each masterpiece. Describing them would be hard, since it doesn’t serve it justice and show the regality of the masks.
While at first I stopped because of shock of initial appearances, I was held transfixed by the masks and scared of what this man could do. We stood there, observing each other (though I wonder how he could see me with his eyes closed). After a bit, I saw my mask hanging on his backpack. I was about to move to reclaim it, but was too fearful. I didn’t know who or what this person was. Better to wait for him first.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he delivered to me words that I will always remember. No matter how old I become, this line will continue to haunt me:
“You’ve met with a curious fate, haven’t you?”
Even though he spoke softly, it resonated inside of me. It felt a little condescending even though I could tell he was only mortal. There was power in his words that astonished me.
After he finished, the darkness of the trees slowly enveloped him. He waved a hand in goodbye. Suddenly, I realized that this man was about to leave with my mask. I sprinted the last twenty feet and dove at him, missing. I grasped at thin air and looked ahead of me. He was gone.
I sighed; wondering how I could be held entranced for so long and be oblivious to his tricks. He obviously wanted to fool me into letting him take the mask. The power he supposedly had was probably rehearsed.
I continued walking through the forest until I came upon a break in the trees. It led me to Hyrule Field. I wandered here for hours, searching every nook and cranny for wherever I thought he would be. I don’t know what he did, but he managed to vanish entirely from Hyrule somehow or at least from my searching eyes. I did come across a shop in Castle Town that said “Mask Shop”, but it looked derelict and unused for years. I opened the door and it was empty and covered with cobwebs. So much for that.
Finally, I gave up, exhausted from such an excursion. I meandered my way back to the woods, defeated. I didn’t even care that I would probably get lost once again in the confusion of the trees. Luckily, the forest felt merciful and I was in my clearing before I knew it. I gazed solemnly at my pointed hat lying beside the lake. I picked it up and put it on my head. Better than nothing I guess.
I spent a lot of time on two stumps in another clearing in the Lost Woods. I felt like my purpose here was rather worthless. What was I doing besides being baggage to the world? What did I do to actually help this world? I grew more and more depressed and dejected. I’m sure that the skull kids could sense this, but decided to leave me alone. It was probably for the better.
During this time, I saw Link running around here quite frequently. He actually seemed to know where he was going and looked pretty busy. Imagine my surprise, then when he walked up to the two stumps and hopped on one of them.
I was ecstatic that someone actually chose to acknowledge me, even if he happened to be mute. He pulled out Saria’s ocarina and played her song. It had been a while since I had heard that and it brought back memories. Memories of when I was part of the Kokiri Forest. Memories of when I played with my friends. Memories where I was accepted and loved. Memories when I wasn’t so alone. A nostalgic wave was brought about me.
I looked at Link in wonder. I was so glad that he wanted to share his joy with me on that beautiful instrument that I offered to be his friend. He looked a little apprehensive of my friendly behavior. I gave him something that I found while wandering the forest: A piece of heart.
Link returned later with a mask, my mask. I looked at it in surprise; I thought I would never see it again. I cautiously chose to be enthusiastic about having something to cover my face, while I was secretly wondering about how he would come about this. The mask salesman probably gave it to him to sell it and I happened to be the only person who wanted it.
I told him I would buy it for 10 rupees, and his face fell. Obviously the mask salesman let him borrow it for more, but he couldn’t complain: He couldn’t even talk. Unfortunately for him, he would have to sell it to me for such a measly price because the mask salesman wouldn’t let him borrow more masks without selling this one and I was the only one to sell the skull mask to. How I figured that out, I have no idea.
Anyways, Link gave me the mask with a dirty look and ran off with my money. I smiled, thinking about the great deal I made. Finally, I had the mask I had been seeking for so long. I turned it over in my hand, admiring the intricate details carved. I put on the mask.
Instantly, I felt power flowing through me. The ambiguity it gave me allowed me to do whatever I please. The sense of mystery filled me, allowing me to become even more detached from the rest of Hyrule. I felt like a separate entity from all of the mortals in Hyrule, even higher in rank than the Golden Goddesses. I was hiding in a sense, so that I could display my true worth. My true self could be exemplified behind the mask, while the mask could prevent my weaknesses from being seen, and only show my strength.
Not that any of this mattered. The skull kids still wouldn’t accept me as one of their own for whatever reason. The mask didn’t augment my strength beyond its psychological factors, though the people didn’t want to witness it. After seeing four or five unimpressed skull kids, I became adamant in my decision. The entirety of Hyrule seemed to reject me, even those of my own kind. It seemed unfair to me that I was doomed to such a meager living in the forest.
I decided to leave Hyrule. Since I was young, everyone told me there was nothing beyond our peaceful land. But the loneliness has pierced through me and anything seems better than where I am now. I feel that there is nothing left for me in Hyrule. It’s time I move on.
So here I am, finishing this journal entry. I made all of my necessary preparations. It seems that I don’t need to eat as a skull kid for some reason, so all I packed was, well nothing besides everything that was currently on me. I didn’t want something that would drag me down and I didn’t want to bring anything from my house because that was meant as a representation of my status. I also didn’t bring any water since that would be abundant in any land anyways.
With that, I’m ready to set off. I only hope that the lands beyond will be more accepting than this one. My chapter in life with Hyrule is over. No skull kid or any other being will miss me.
I’m content.