Disclaimer: Hasbro owns MLP:FIM. If they are Hasbro, I’m Hasn’tbro.
10:00 am: Rainbow Dash wakes up at crack of midday to sound of promotional Wonderbolt Spitfire alarm clock shouting “Get those wings moving, ya slacker!” over and over. Wonders for umpteenth time whether if waking up to something calling her a slacker every morning is healthy.
10:10 am: Fashions up cloud and kicks it in lieu of shower.
10:15 am: Breakfast of Spitfire Skyring Cereal (“now with more carbs!”). Deliberately chosen for Monday ‘back to work with healthy attitude’ mood.
10:30 am: Feeling in good mood, Rainbow Dash flies to Weather Factory to get started on summer breeze creation. Performs a few corkscrew moves along the way.
10:31 am: Rainbow crashes face-first into storm cloud, receiving several painful shocks to the face. Escapes with severely blackened head. Distinctly hears muffled apology from what looks like a yellow and grey blob before passing out.
10:45 am: Wakes up in hospital bed with bandage over her head. Pony with white coat and nurse hat writes her condition off as blunt shock to the head. Rainbow severely unimpressed with joke, but isn’t quite sure if it was intentional or not.
11:45 am: Finally allowed to leave after some checks from hospital staff. Exits hospital with conspicuous white bandage still in place.
12:00 pm: Makes to head back to work, only to have The Cutie Mark Crusaders appear in front of her. They each have pink cotton candy on a stick.
12:05 pm: Tempted, Rainbow heads to stall where the CMC were and gets a stick herself. Wolfs it down in one sitting rather messily.
12:06 pm: Swarm of honeybees, attracted by sugar all over bandages, chase Rainbow Dash down several streets before she finally takes off the bandages and throws them towards a white unicorn wearing purple shades.
12:08 pm: Distracted by need to escape, Rainbow fails to notice the lamppost in front of her. Crashes head first straight into it.
12:30 pm: Wakes up in hospital bed again. Staff happily welcome her back, and stop to take several photographs of her head for their album.
1:30 pm: Escapes from hospital via elaborate plan involving several metres of string and a stapler, Rainbow Dash decides to make it to work before anything else happens. She now has an entirely new bandage.
1:45 pm: Arriving at work for the first time today, Rainbow is greeted by fellow co-worker Cloud Kicker, who asks about what happened to her head. Rainbow rattles off story of how she saved a group of orphans from pack of timberwolves – in graphic detail. Grabs lunch of daisy sandwich from canteen before going to office.
2:15 pm: Goes through messages from boss. Was apparently meant to start on breezes 2 hours ago, then 3 hours ago, then Down Pour took over that duty, then that she was meant to get started on rain over Ponyville 30 minutes ago.
2:25 pm: Pushes several spare clouds over Ponyville back to the factory, charges them with lightning, then directs underlings to push them over designated spots.
2:45 pm: With spare time on her hooves, Rainbow goes to favourite nap cloud for well-earned rest.
2:46 pm: Rainbow Dash falls straight through cloud owing to being unable to hold up weight after most of the inside went into fashioning snow for export. Falls face first into storm cloud underneath. Reflects on how hospitals are starting to get boring before getting fried into unconsciousness.
3:10 pm: Wakes up in hospital bed. First notices how wallpaper is slightly different. Deduces that she is in different room of local hospital. An exasperated Nurse Redheart decides that there should be some sort of organisation for work related accidents. Decides on snappy name ‘Health and Safety’.
4:30 pm: Checks finished, Rainbow Dash contemplates staying in safety of hospital where nothing is out to get her. Decides to lie prone in bed until next day.
4:31 pm: Dash gets bored of lying prone and trots out of hospital, fervently looking out for any harmful obstacles.
5:00 pm: Remembering that the Weather Factory knocks off during this time for day workers, Rainbow Dash decides to visit Twilight Sparkle for latest “Daring Do” book: “The Pyramid of Quartz”. Decides that she will walk to Golden Oaks library, out of paranoia of flying.
5:30 pm: Rainbow Dash discovers that she actually walks incredibly slowly, for a speed-obsessed pony.
5:31 pm: Borrows book from Twilight Sparkle, who quickly asks about her head. She decides to not press the issue any further after noticing wild expression on Rainbow Dash’s face.
6:00 pm: Heads back home with book in tow. Sits in bead going over first 3 chapters.
7:00 pm: Goes out night-time pranking with Pinkie Pie. Tonight they go out and capture several moths and keep them in a box.
7:30 pm: Goes straight to local cinema with captured moths, requesting 2 tickets each to see ‘Citizen Sugar’. Gets discount on tickets of 75% off. Pinkie explains how she once saved the ticket seller from “some non-toxic edible green slime” and that she is owed a favour.
8:30 pm: Movie starts, theatre goes dark. Rainbow and Pinkie release captured moths. Influenced by light from screen, they flutter in unusual patterns. Suddenness of moth invasion sends several ponies screaming out of the theatre. Pinkie and Rainbow quickly make themselves scarce.
8:35 pm: In hysterics over success, Pinkie remembers that she needs to get back for late night birthday bash for one of the other ponies in town. After mentioning that Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Applejack and Fluttershy will also be there, Rainbow agrees to go.
9:00 pm: Arrives with Pinkie at party, with atmosphere electric. Spots pony with purple shades at music machine changing the disk. Notices that she has several visible bee stings on her front legs. Rainbow thankful that pony apparently does not remember her.
9:05 pm: Applejack, Twilight Sparkle, Rarity and Fluttershy find and greet Rainbow. Each one struggles to find something to say that isn’t about her head, but eventually manage to get conversation going about how Pinkie is thinking of hot-sauce cupcakes as an actual product to sell at Sugarcube Corner.
10:30 pm: Feeling all partied out, Rainbow excuses herself and decides to head straight back home.
10:31 pm: Walks outside, noticing two ponies watching a movie on a projector through their window.
10:32 pm: Deciding to make one last prank for the day, Rainbow gathers up some more moths, and releases them down the chimney, into the room where the couple are watching the movie.
10:33 pm: Rainbow Dash quickly flies away after hearing panicked screams from the pair. In trying to escape, she is promptly smacked in the head by pony-driven taxi carriage.
11:00 pm: Wakes up in hospital bed with bandages over head. Quickly notices that staff are gleefully sending letters to their relatives over incredible medical record.
11:05 pm: Not wanting to stick around, Rainbow flies quickly (but EXTREMELY carefully) back home, wanting to do nothing more than sleep.
11:15 pm: Back home, feeling exhausted. Promptly jumps into bed, and lies down, hoping the next day will be more fortunate.
11:16 pm: One of Rainbow’s bandages gets snagged on the bed railing. Once she rolls over, it is promptly ripped off her head. Rainbow screams.