While I Breathe, I Hope
Quick as a flash, Applejack leapt out of the way, her hind legs kicking up clouds of dust as she scuttled further into the darkness. Her forehoof instinctively reached for her sword, sheathed and ready at her side. Where are you; where are you?
Her eyes darted to and fro, slowly scanning the horizon for any sign of her nemesis. Nothing: no feather, no sudden movement, no nothing. The orange pony immediately regretted coming here. Too vulnerable. Just too vulnerable...
"Psst!" Another hiss, this time above her, caused her to whinny in a sudden burst of panic. Wildly, Applejack thrust her sword upwards: a feeble answer, but it was all she could muster on a whim. No effect - a rustling of the branches, a couple of leaves floating down onto her back.
A swoosh - the sound of pegasus wings - and the silhouette of Rainbow Dash, clad in only the lightest of armor, touched down in front of her, Luna's moon rising behind the pegasus in a menacing pose. Applejack scowled at the sight.
"That was a feeble attempt," the cyan pegasus, despite her tasks, couldn't resist taunting her opponent. "You know, I could have ended you, there and then."
The orange pony, gritted her teeth in frustrated admission. Nevertheless, she whipped her saber towards the oncoming pegasus. "Stay away. Else you'll regret it."
"Whoa... calm down there, farmer," the pegasus drew back in mock terror. "I'm not out to get you."
"What do you want then."
Rainbow Dash kept her distance. She reared up, revealing both her empty forelegs. "I'm not carrying anything, Applejack."
"What do you want." Applejack repeated deliberately, ire dripping out of her mouth.
"I just want to talk, Applejack," the cyan pegasus remarked coolly, trying her best to suppress the nervousness inside. "Just to talk. About both of us." She took a step forward.
"There ain't anythin' to talk about," the farm pony ritually asserted, sheathing her weapon. "Tomorrow, I'll come at you; you'll lose, and maybe - if I'm lucky - you'll be gone. And that's all we need to talk about."
Rainbow Dash smirked, knowing that this would wind the earth pony up further. "You know, you could have done that today."
"I was preparin' things."
A pause. Rainbow Dash took another step forward. "You're lying, Applejack."
The rustic pony snarled. "Prove it, you two-faced snake."
Time to do this: Lightning, this plan had better work! "You don't want Twilight to win."
Applejack's furrows deepened and her eyes narrowed. "You're wrong."
Another step. "Then why didn't you attack me today?"
"As I said, I was preparin' things." The farm pony's tolerance for useless debate was fast slipping away.
The pegasus smirked mockingly again, now almost face-to-face with her opponent. "Keep on lying to yourself, Applejack. You need me to win this."
"The only thing I need you to be is skewered on a pike."
Rainbow Dash smirked. Time to get to brass tacks. "And what do you think will happen after I'm gone, Applejack? Do you think things will go back to the way they were, minus Rainbow Dash?"
The country mare, foolishly but unavoidably, broke her eye contact. She secretly recognized the pegasus' point. "I have no idea what you are talkin' about."
The pegasus, emboldened, pushed on ruthlessly. "You think Twilight's going to forgive you, Applejack. We're the two ponies who are causing the most trouble for her - and you think by getting rid of me, you're going to be friends again with her, don't you- "
"I don't think that." The orange pony, still astutely casting her gaze on other things, ultimately succumbed to the incessant mental prodding.
"So, you think that you're so much more powerful than Twilight, then... " The cyan pony decisively switched tack, forcing, shoving the farm pony in all the right directions-
"What do you want?" Applejack cut the discussion short, realizing that she had betrayed enough of herself to this cyan horse. She had been expecting some temporary truce, some easily-rejected proposal from the cyan pony - not this; not another discussion!
The worst thing was this: everything that her nemesis had said, it was all true, as far as the orange pony was concerned. What, exactly, was Applejack expecting out of this? Some reprieve from the Duchess? That was clearly ridiculous, so long as Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie's counties remained under 'illegal occupation'. All Applejack would have done, had things gone to plan, would be to sweep away Twilight's most dangerous foe - the pegasus who, for better or for worse, had been the unicorn's biggest pain in the flank.
But then, last time in the Council: Twilight had seemed so indecisive, so paralyzed... was she really capable of doing anythin' more?
To the outsider, no sound could be heard save for the brisk night breezes, slowly ruffling through verdant trees. And that was how Rainbow Dash liked it. Every extra second Applejack pondered, was an extra second spent on agonizing counterfactuals. And, as Lightning Dust herself had spelled out, Applejack had proven herself to be bad at counterfactuals.
The farm pony finally realized her long silence. "Well?" she pressed, looking back at the prismatic mare, trying to maintain her aura of decision and calm.
"Oh, nothing, really." Rainbow Dash decided to let Applejack figure the answer out for herself. "I just wanted you to realize what you're getting yourself into, that's all."
The country mare scowled, partly at her erstwhile friend, partly at her own stupid self. "I don't need you to tell me. I can find my own way!" She lied. The farm pony backtracked away from the pegasus, retreating into the forest darkness and her own pained reasoning.
*
Instead of askin' 'Can Twi' do all that?', ask this: 'Do you want to GIVE her the chance?'
Applejack's mind seemed set. Her bloodshot eyes shot open, the world slowly coming into being. She had the most tremendous headache, brought on by another sleepless night.
"Countess." The sentry, after numerous failed attempts, gathered up the strength to poke at her sides with his hoof.
"What's it." The farm pony put her hoof to her head, trying not to doze of there and then.
"Ma'am," the soldier sounded incredulous. "The cannons."
"Mmm... really?" The orange mare shook her heavy, heavy head, slowly expunging it of white noise. And there it was. The low rumble of the cannons. Rainbow Dash's assault was beginning.
Applejack's mind remained blank. "Unngh... right," she murmured, re-laying her head down onto the desk. In any case, I don't think I can lead the army today...
"Umm... " The sentry wasn't sure what this meant. "Aren't we going to attack Rainbow Dash?"
Applejack cursed silently. "Soldier, just stand outside the tent."
The sentry retreated into a perplexed salute. "As you wish, Ma'am."
Applejack lay in this uncomfortable position for a while longer, before she finally found the will to stand up.
Boom. The cannons would be busy at work, softening up the defences of Twilight's city. Rainbow Dash would definitely be preoccupied with the city now, praying and hoping that Applejack wouldn't seize the moment... it's now or never. This is your choice now, and it will matter here.
Rainbow Dash's voice emerged out of the swirling mess of Applejack's mind. "So, you think that you're so much more powerful than Twilight, then... "
The country mare could feel her mind hurtling towards the simplest solution.
Better the enemy you know, than the enemy you don't.
The farm pony crawled back into bed, the roar of distant guns doing nothing to stop her gradual descent into slumber...
There was one obstacle remaining. Her conscience was nagging her. She was your friend! She's your liege! You promised! You have a duty to-
"Shove off." The farm pony smacked her head in sleep-deprived disgust. Conscience had gotten her nowhere in these lands. Conscience wouldn't provide the answer here either.
*
Rumble. The distant volley of cannonballs heralded another round of Rainbow Dash's assaults. Again, thousands of ponies would run and fly against the city walls, under Celestia's blood-red sky. Again, most would impale themselves, some would get burned alive, and the remainder would be hacked into pieces. Again they would retreat after a whole day's worth of pointless stalemate. And again, Rainbow Dash would try once more, come the next dawn.
But with every 'again', Rainbow Dash would have more, and Twilight Sparkle would have less. The outcome came with mathematical certainty.
Armed with such knowledge, with every day that the rebelling army remained at her gates, the magical unicorn gradually lost what tiny shred remained of her hope, her desire, her optimism. She was doomed. And there was no amount of encouragement, not even from the loyal Rarity, that could lift her.
And with her desires, so went her body. At first it was a little hair, coming out in tiny tufts from her head, small strands from her matted tail. Then it was her skin, ominously lightening, ominously yellowing. Her strength slowly dribbled away with every passing day. Day by day, she gradually lost more and more of her functions. She stayed longer and longer in bed. The doctor came with increasing frequency. His face grew longer and longer.
And now, she could hear the muffled sounds of the doctor talking to somepony beyond the closed door. She could hear Rarity let out a horrorstruck gasp. She could hear the pony gently open the door and tiptoe into the room.
Twilight Sparkle, not for the first time, closed her eyes and exuded another wispy sigh. With mathematical certainty. Everything she had done, everything she had achieved, everything that she had - destroyed, with mathematical certainty. Gone. Over. Just like that. A blessing...
"Twilight." Rarity's gentle voice ripped through the bookish mare's thoughts. She was crying. Again. "Please."
Another rumble and a crash. More masonry fell. Mathematical certainty.
"Please... what?" the lavender pony's voice was feeble and hoarse. She coughed a few times, her mouth quickly covered by Rarity's handkerchief.
The white unicorn immediately withdrew the cloth out of sight and covered it with her hooves. But of course Twilight knew what it contained. The ferrous taste of blood was a common sensation to her now.
"Please," the ex-fashionista begged. Again. "You have to stay strong."
Diplomatic protocol could mean less to Twilight Sparkle now. "Rarity... " she labored. "You know, it's over now... "
"No, Twilight, no!" her friend desperately shook her on the shoulders, trying to find any hope - any shred of hope - to save them from this terrible end. "There's always Apple- "
The bookish mare instinctively retched at that very name. She could now taste that metallic tang on her mouth, feel that warm liquid trickling from her nostrils. Rarity realized, too late, her terrible mistake.
"A- Apple...jack," the purple unicorn gasped in disbelief, taking in as much air as she possibly could for a death-defying cry. "That... mare, who hasn't moved an INCH, for... !"
Rarity quickly leant in, trying her best to clean up the mess on her friend's face, her own forelegs soon turning a deep red. "Twilight, please, not now!" she hushed. "You can do this, Twilight; your magic, your magic, you can still save this!"
Twilight merely let out a bitter laugh, a bit of red flowing down her chin. That twinkling sound of magic...! Rarity looked expectantly at her friend's horn, now slowly, gently glowing up, materializing that transparent, violet, all-powerful aura- "That's it, Twilight!"
The magic aura flickered and began to lose focus, bits of pink and purple rapidly fading into the ether. "No, no, no, no!" Rarity said in horror, scrambling, trying to combine her own aura with the ailing mare's spell, now fast reducing into weak, struggling sparks at the tip, now themselves fast disappearing...
"Y-you see?" A small tear squeezed out of the magically-gifted unicorn's eyes. "I c-can't even do a simple levitation spell... how am I going to- "
"You can, Twilight, dear," Rarity was determined to keep this baseless falsehood up and running. "Don't give up- "
Knock-knock-knock. The doorway opened up a crack without Rarity's permission. "Tw-Twilight?" a meek little voice stammered, a voice not heard from in such a long time.
"Fluttershy?" Rarity said, amazed. "How did you- " She then noted that the enemy cannons were strangely silent. Truce.
The knob turned, revealing Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie. The pegasus' eyes were bloodshot, obviously a result of days and days of endless guilt. The earth pony's bouncy hair had utterly deflated and her coat had been discolored a dull gray. "C-can we come in?" the shy pegasus asked, knowing full well that Rarity had every reason to reject them.
"Well... " Rarity wasn't sure. She turned to the bedridden pony. Twilight gave her silent assent. "I suppose you should come in quickly, girls."
The two newcomers crept towards the bed, silently and in trepidation. They had decided, when they heard about the unicorns condition, that it was best not to talk - and for Pinkie, especially, not to play hysterics. What could they possibly say? They knew they were, in a way, responsible for this.
"Twilight," Rarity checked to see if the bookish pony was aware. "Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy are here."
The answer came as a slow, pained nod.
Then silence. Was Twilight stewing in the last vestiges of her anger? Or was she merely just ignoring the world in her last throes of life? Fluttershy looked at Pinkie Pie. Pinkie Pie looked at Fluttershy. Both of them looked at Rarity, who merely shook her head sadly.
The shy pegasus decided to break the ice. "We're sorry." Fluttershy murmured.
The sound of cannon fire erupted all around them again. The truce, that both of them had begged so hard to Rainbow Dash for, was over. A mathematical certainty.
"We're sorry." Pinkie Pie repeated, her normally sonorous voice toned down to a mere mumble.
The ailing pony gave a faint groan, acknowledging their apologies.
Neither of the newcomers dared push on for forgiveness.
Twilight opened her mouth again, emanating another hushed sigh. "I'm sorry... too."
"No, no, you shouldn't... " Fluttershy moved quickly.
The purple mare ignored her. "This was... all my fault. I asked all of you to come. I made all of you into... this... Fluttershy. Pinkie Pie. Rarity. Rainbow Dash. And... Applejack."
Rarity made a most uncharacteristic spit on the floor. "Why, Rainbow Dash and that Applejack, they fully, truly, deserve all the worst that Tartaros can give them!"
"Maybe..." the bookish mare erupted into another coughing fit, ending with another series of short, dry heaves. "Maybe... b-but... but I asked them... I asked them to come here... "
"They chose what they did," the fashion pony asserted resolutely. "You didn't force them onto this path."
Fluttershy looked away in shame and regret, a tear once again falling from her eye. Pinkie's eyes cast their gaze even further down onto the ground.
"It was my fault... " Twilight insisted, the weight of her failure, once again, driving her ever nearer the abyss. She was teetering on the edge. "I should have known... I thought they would always... I took them... for granted... "
This is all your fault... if you hadn't come, none of this would have happened... we would all still be in Ponyville, laughing, smiling, playing tricks, being friends with each other... you would still be Twilight, the successful magical unicorn...
"I failed... " Twilight's own denunciations, ever her worst enemy, wrought their final vengeance on what was left of her sanity. Her midriff jolted upwards, sending another pool of blood up into her mouth and snout. Her already labored breathing became even slower and more difficult, wheezing and choking as more red trickled down her nostrils.
"Oh, by Celestia, Twilight!" Rarity shook her friend's body vigorously. "Oh, oh my, oh: Pinkie, get the doctor, get the doctor!"
Twilight hissed at the white unicorn. "It's... it's too late, Rarity," she wheezed. "It... it's all over, now. It's all over. I failed... "
"No, Twilight!" Rarity continued to struggle in vain with Twilight's own will, as the other two ponies looked on helpless, every second adding to their own mental anguish. "They need you out there!"
The unicorn coughed, her eyes taking in those last rays of Celestia's sunlight. The darkness was fast closing in. You failed. You failed. You failed-
With the determination that only comes with imminent death, Twilight's mind consumed what it had left. Twilight's body trembled, her eyes closed, her face scrunched up in one last, gargantuan effort. One decisive mental blow.
And with one swing, the unicorn severed the mental cords that bound this terrible baggage to her. It doesn't matter, Twilight... you'll be gone, Twilight... in a few generations, nopony will remember you... nopony will realize what you did... you'll be in a better place, Twilight... this doesn't matter... it doesn't matter, not anymore...
Rarity was screaming again for a doctor, Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy dashing out of the door... that didn't matter. Nothing mattered. It was over. And that was how the unicorn wanted it.
For the first time in a long while, Twilight's lips curved upwards into a smile.
That long-forgotten image, of happier times - the picture that they had all, back in the Old Place, had sent to the Princess... Rarity - Fluttershy - Pinkie Pie - Rainbow Dash - Applejack - and Spike... she'd be going back there, soon, any moment now, just a little while longer...
"Thank you... " the dying mare breathed into the air.
And thus, in a flurry of inconsequential excitement, and amidst the ruins and chaos of her great vision, Twilight Sparkle, the ruler of the Outer Lands, silently, stealthily and happily departed this suffering life.