True to the milkshake waitress's word, the town was indeed only a few miles away. However, this raised a new problem, namely that of "what am I looking for again?"
My mirage companion suggested we go ask around at the local tavern to see if there's anything unusual going on. His logic seemed sound to me. After all, who doesn't like picking up quests from drunk ponies? I know I do.
The town's tavern was a small one. Makes sense since it was a rather small town. Small town = small tavern, right? Whatever, the point I was trying to make before I got sidetracked was that it was a small tavern. Didn't I already say that?
...
Best if we ignore that bit and continue.
The *ahem* diminutive establishment contained quite a few ponies. There was, of course, a bartender behind the bar. He was an older looking pony rubbing down a dusty mug with that stereotypical bartender look about him. Y'know, the one that says "I'll listen to anything you want to offload on me, so long as you buy some ale."
He probably had a few stories of his own to tell, if you asked nicely.
The bartender raised a questioning eyebrow as Fphantom and I swaggered up to the bar. Okay, maybe I swaggered and Fphant just walked calmly while facehoo- uhh, face-appendageing at my antics.
"What'll ya be havin'?" he asked, his practiced hooves not once stopping their thorough cleaning of the dusty mug in their grasp.
"Hmmm," I tapped my hoof to my chin contemplatively. I honestly had no idea what to get. If he had something chocolate, I'd get that in a heartbeat, but alas, this was the wrong kind of establishment for chocolatey drinks... "What do you recommend?"
The bartender glanced critically at me, probably sizing me up or something, before replying. "Usually I reccomen' our famous firewater fer some'un like you, but there's jus' somethin' about yah that tells me yer made 'o sterner stuff." He set down the, now clean, mug all slow and purposeful-like. The look in his eye could probably cut diamonds. "Tell yeh what. If'n you c'n hold down a mug've mah new, experimental, 'thunderbrew', you don' hafta pay."
Free drink? Cool! And all I've gotta do is drink some of this "thunderbrew" stuff? No problem.
"Sounds good to me."
The entire bar went silent.
Seriously. The dozen or so other patrons there all stopped their raucous conversations at once. I even heard a record scratch somewhere off to the left.
As quickly as the sound stopped, it started up again in quiet murmurs. Everyone immediately dropped what they were doing and crowded around me. At their closer proximity, I could make out a few of the quiet things ponies said behind my back.
"Is he really gonna do it?"
"Is he mad!?"
"I'll go get the mop ready..."
"Ten bits says his head explodes."
Wonderful to know they all have so much confidence in me.
The bartender pony (I really should get his name at some point) set a mug down in front of me, and I'll admit I may have gotten a little nervous myself. Large sparks were shooting out of the electric blue liquid. Seriously, it was like a pissed off storm-cloud got drowned in a mug full of Windex! I could easily tell why he called it "thunderbrew"...
A hush fell over the gathered crowd as I tentatively wrapped my hoof around the drink. I could feel static electricity leaking into my hoof and the hair around my fetlock was beginning to stand on end. Was I really going to drink this?
I glanced at the faces behind me. Some were eager. Some were terrified. Fphant... I don't really know what his expression was - it kept changing like the rest of him. I could tell they all had one thing in common though.
They would all mock me if I chickened out now.
Steeling myself, I looked back at my drink. Still as deadly-looking as ever. The collection of onlookers all held their breath as I raised the mug to my lips.
"Wellp, here goes nothing," I quipped.
The first gulp was like a buck to the head. My vision blurred and I don't think I could move my tongue. It tasted good at least, like a mixture of berries with a hint of oh my Celestia why did I drink this!?
Only a quarter of the drink was gone.
The second gulp wasn't nearly as bad as the first. Maybe I could make it through this?
A little over halfway there.
The third gulp crushed my optimistic viewpoint. That one tasted like fire! I blearily noted that I was swaying in my seat and my entire coat - including my mane and tail - was standing on end, not just the area near the mug.
I paused, glaring at the last little bit of drink left in the mug.
I'm pretty sure it glared back.
I angrily poked the mug with my free hoof. "Yew won'," I hastily grabbed onto the bar to prevent myself from falling off my stool, "get th' besht uv me!" And with my wonderfully eloquent declaration of defiance I downed the last of the drink.
The crowd burst into cheers. I clambered onto my stool and struck a pose, holding the empty mug out in triumph. "Thangyoo, thangyoo!" I gave an unsteady bow, nearly toppling off the bar stool. "Ah know, ah'm *urp* aweshomee. If yoo need meh, ah'll be," I pointed to the wooden floor beneath me as I started to keel over, "thataway!"