Chapter 8 – Maybe it was always
It took Twilight a few minutes for Violet to calm down enough so that she would stop her little wiggling legs long enough to grasp onto the bottle.
Your fur around your eyes is stiffened from the tears that have just recently stopped. You can't understand how you could get so emotional to somepony you don't know but you barely even question it as you happily watch the little fill slurp down the last bit of her bottle.
"Twilight! Twilight!"
You bring your head to the young kid sounding voice of Spike as you hear his clawed feet smack against the wood, "Celestia will be back tomorrow." The small purple dragon waves a paper in front of Twilight.
She smiles as she takes the paper from him with her hoof, "That’s great news." She looks to you as she talks, "Celestia is the most powerful pony in all of Equestria, she will be able to help I’m sure of it."
You nod your head only able to follow half of it. Truthfully the overload of information today and all that you have done today is starting to weigh down on you, and either its the two nights of forced painted sleep that you have been put through or it might just be the mind reload you have gone through but you feel yourself becoming tired quickly.
Spike looks to you as he pushes against you playfully, "You feeling better yet?"
You shake your head, "I feel like I’m going to be sick..."
"Are you hungry or is it your leg??" Twilight quickly chimes in as your words exit your mouth.
You hold your hoof up to her as you shake your head, "Why can't I remember anything?"
Twilight and Spike give a look to each other in silence.
You stare at them waiting for an answer, "Why did I lose my memory in the first place? What happened?"
Violet lets go of the bottle and it hits the ground with a loud clang. You quickly turn your eyes to the smiling filly.
"Oh, Violet." Twilight picks the bottle up and sets it on the table.
You can't stop your smiling as you look over the happy filly, but as you do this a thought runs through your mind...I’m happy even though I can't remember anything...so why would I have lost my memory? "Twilight?"
The lavender mare sighs as she talks, "I honestly don't know...you were bound to Chrysalis bu..-"
"who's that?"
Twilight blinks at you for a moment before she talks, "Oh...yes." She taps her hoof to her mouth as she looks around the room, "I'm not supposed to tell you anything...the book said you have to ..-"
"Twilight...I don't know anything about this or me...Please just tell me?" You stare at her as your anxiety to know grows. Not know anything and being so close to something is eating away at you.
Twilight nods her head as she talks, "I read a spell in the book that can bring back memories if somepony else shares the same memory...-"
"Then why didn't we do that first?!" You let out a surprised laugh as you stand from your chair, "Do it."
She shakes her head, "If I can't do the spell fully then you would only get glimpses into my memory...and that won't help you at all."
You smile to her as you talk, "I can't remember anything now so what the difference?"
She hesitates for a moment before she talks, "Spike could you bring me the book." She stands as she walks over and picks up Violet.
"What are you doing?" You stare at her action confused.
"Violet can't be around magic, so I need to take her upstairs." You watch as Twilight carries the little filly out of the room. The whole time Violet doesn't take her eyes off of you.
You in the room alone as you think over what you're about to do, ok some memory even if its not my own is better than none right?...ya.
After a few more moments of self convincing you hear Spike’s claws and Twilights hooves on the stairs. You bring your head up as you stand a little taller, "OK, what I do?"
"Sit." Twilight holds her hoof to the chair as she hovers one in front of the one you plop yourself in.
You stare at her waiting for her to speak again.
She floats the book over to her, the magical chime of the book echoes through the quiet house as she reads it, "Are you sure?"
You nod your head with a confident smile.
Twilight breaths deep as she extends her hooves, "Ok, close your eyes."
You lean forward towards her hooves as you watch her horn take on a bright purple glow, "Ok, the feelings and memories may not be instant and it may even take a day or two so are you still sure? Because Cele-.."
"Yes." You close your eyes as you lean your head to her two extend hooves.
"Ok, you might feel a little twinge."
You slow your breathing as you listen to the chime from the magic around you, at first you feel excited and anxious for anything at all...But as you hold your neck out for a few more uncomfortable minutes you start to doubt it..."Twilight I..-"
Your words are caught off as you get a sharp pain in the back of your head...your eyes twitch as feminine laugh ricochets around your mind, your leg where its wounded begins to throb as you get a picture of some bug like sleek black pony with blue eyes in your mind...as feelings of pain, sadness and sharp feeling of abandonment start to surround you, you find yourself unable to jerk your head back all you can do is listen to the high pitched chimes around your ears.
A distinct voice is heard in the back of your mind through the chiming as you feel your tip of your nose start to tingle, "You promised you would leave us us us..."
"Oh are you ok?!" The chiming stops and you quickly jerk your head back as you throw yourself back into the chair behind you.
"Spike get a towel!"
You wipe your nose with your hooves, they feel warm...you bring them in front of you for a better look...I'm bleeding..."What was that?!"
Twilight quickly hovers a towel to your nose as she rushes to talk, "I'm sorry I’m sorry.-"
You lean your head back as you take the towel, "It was pain! All of it? There was nothing but hurt and loss!? Is that what I forgot?! because I’m glad." Your voice is shaky as you hold the towel to your nose.
"No, of course not its not always like that."
You chuckle to her word, "Not always? So that’s normal stuff?"
Twilight holds the towel as she talks, "No...its never normal..."
You bring your head forward so that you can look at her, you feel like you no longer want to remember anything...but as your eyes meet her concerned face that through starts to soften, "Why would I stay here?"
Twilight ignores your comment as she apologies again, "I'm sorry."
You swallow back as you talk, all the while trying to not shake your head, "Its my fault, I should had just waited..."
Spike rocks his body back and forth as he talks, "Are you alright?"
You give a low yes as you clear your throat in a laugh.
Twilight holds the towel to you as she start to give a sniffly laugh.
You have no idea why you're happy at this moment the truth is you feel horribly, but you still feel very happy for some reason...I’m going crazy...or this is normal.....
End of chapter 8