Chapter 12: CMC WH…Y? Part 2
Beams of light danced around the base of the tree that contained the Crusader’s headquarters. With the whole farm on alert for reasons unknown to the fillies, the trio had decided that the best course of action would be to leave the safety of the treehouse. Armed with nothing but flashlights and their capes, the trio bravely, and (more realistically) stupidly, charged forth into the night to track down the monster outside their door. In most circumstances the monster would have either eaten or killed them with little trouble.
Although the three didn’t know it, they were truly in no danger, as the monster was in reality Applejack. However, that just meant the werewolf was the one in danger...of her secret being revealed. By that point, Applejack had reasoned she could get away with her current situation by saying she’d been woken up by the howls and had come over to check on the fillies. That just left the problem of her having to find a place where she could go back into her pony form without the three seeing her. Considering her current hiding spot, which a lucky flashlight would illuminate like a Hearths Warming Tree, her options looked bleak.
Then a stroke of luck came in when Sweetie Belle ended up tripping on the top step just outside the treehouse. She toppled into the two fillies in front of her, sending them crashing to the ground and flashlights spiraling in different directions. Seizing the moment, Applejack immediately rushed out of her hiding spot and instead took up residence in a thicker brush that was positioned so she could see the Crusaders, but they couldn’t see her unless they looked closely. Of course, her “hunters” being easily distracted foals, the odds were in her favor.
“Hey, Ah heard something from over there!” exclaimed Apple Bloom, who had recovered her flashlight and directed its beam towards Applejack’s previous hiding spot.
“Are…are you guys sure about this? I mean, what if this thing is really dangerous? Like, seriously hurt us dangerous?” whimpered a scared Sweetie Belle.
Scootaloo was having none of it. “Aw, come on! You’re not a scared chicken, are ya?”
“Well, I’m not you if that’s what you’re asking!”
“HEY!”
The two were about to get into a light scuffle had Apple Bloom not intervened. “Girls, c’mon! You can push each other around later, right now we got us a monster to catch! Who knows, it might even be one of them ‘sparkilin’ vamponies’ Twist was talkin’ about today.”
“Apple Bloom, she was talking about that stupid romance novel series most of the girls at school are going ga-ga over. Everypony knows they’re not real!”
“B-but what if they’re not?” stammered Sweetie Belle.
Five seconds later the CMC had huddled up into a pile and were shining their flashlights all over the place to try and see if anything sparkled. Applejack counted this as her second stroke of good luck as somehow amid the flying beams of light, there was a clear path where she could remain unseen. She bolted towards the tree.
“THERE!” exclaimed one of the fillies, Applejack wasn’t sure who, but the exclamation had caused her a moment of panic. Fortunately, the CMC had just noticed movement from the spot their “prey” had left and were moving towards it, completely oblivious to the scary wolf-pony passing them not five feet away and cloaked in the night.
Those three are so easily distracted, they’d make excellent-NOPE NOPE NOPE thought Applejack, scrubbing away thoughts of the CMC as a midnight snack as she snuck her way into the treehouse. While normally she would have given herself away by the combination of hard hooves clattering on the wooden base of the structure, her werewolf-granted jumping ability enabled her to bypass having to walk the stairs, and her padded paws were deathly silent. Thus, she was able to get into the place undetected. Once inside, she immediately shifted back into pony form before letting out a sigh of relief. “Hard part’s done, thankfully, now to end this and get those three back to bed!”
Walking outside to the railing, the restored mare saw her sister and friends now trying to examine the second hiding spot like the crime scene of a murder. Unable to hold back a snicker due to knowing the truth, she called out “Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo! Are ya’ll alright?”
All three fillies snapped around to see the source of the voice, with Apple Bloom exclaiming “Applejack! What are you doing up there?”
Leaping down from the balcony to the ground, Applejack replied “Somethin’s got the whole farm in an uproar, so Ah rushed out here to make sure ya’ll were alright.”
“Yeah, we’re fine. We were just lookin’ to see if whatever is causin’ all the ruckus was over here.”
Applejack put on her best annoyed face to express her feelings about the CMC putting themselves into a dangerous situation, “An’ what exactly were you three gonna do if this mysterious rabble-rouser was actually around here? What if it was a timberwolf or somethin’? Ya could’ve been hurt, or worse, an’ Ah doubt Ah need to explain mah personal experiences with that kinda thing!”
Apple Bloom was at a loss for words. Her sister was correct in that hunting down something potentially lethal was not a good idea in hindsight. All she could do about it was shoot a nasty glance over at Scootaloo. The pegasus didn’t notice, still looking around at everything with her head moving about like a pigeon, trying to see if the creature was around, not knowing it really stood before her.
It was at that time Big Mac came rushing in; “Girls! Are yah alright! Ah Can’t find Applejack and-oh.”
His “missing” sister just raised an eyebrow at him; “What, did you think I was going to let these three silly fillies be left all alone this far from the house? First thing Ah did when Ah woke up was leap out mah window to check on ‘em. Ah’m assumin’ you an’ Granny went to take care of the others?” By this point the ruckus coming from the other side of the farm had quieted down significantly.
“Uh…eeyup,” Big Mac confirmed with hesitiation. Somehow, Applejack had managed to answer the big question in his head about why she apparently had left her room through the bedroom window. While he knew she could survive the fall, as earth ponies were built tough like that, she’d been doing some weird things at night. Applejack had insisted that it was her own business and that she didn’t want to talk about it yet, so the fact this night had nothing to do with…her “situation”… was a relief.
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“Ah think we got ourselves a problem,” Granny Smith informed her two oldest grandfoals. The Crusaders, after having been taken back to the main house, had been put to bed in Apple Bloom’s room for safety. In the meantime, Granny, Big Mac, and AJ were sitting at the kitchen table and trying to appraise the situation.
“From the sound Ah heard a-wakin’ me up” replied Applejack, “it sounded like some kinda wolf howl.”
“Timberwolves, maybe?” suggested Big Mac, trying to not show his concerns over whether or not a wolf of some kind was sitting right next to him. Somehow, neither Applejack nor Granny were noticing his small twitches of apprehension.
Granny shook her head, “Nah, can’t be. Those ruffians don’t howl loud enough even during zap apple season to startle the farmhooves and livestock.”
Big Mac wasn’t so sure, “Ya sure, Granny? Moobella said-“
“Ah’m over a hundred years old, Ah think Ah know how loud those stinkin’ timberwolves can howl after all these years!”
Secretly desperate to try and divert suspicion away from herself, Applejack decided to try and force the discussion to keep on the topic of timberwolves: “But Granny, Big Mac could be right. What if a timberwolf let out a howl while it was on the farm?”
Granny was incredulous, “Don’t be silly, Applejack, timberwolves never come out of the Everfree Forest.”
“But what if they are now? If the availability of food in the forest can’t meet the demand of the population, maybe they’re venturin’ out of the forest simply to survive?”
Granny tapped her chin. “Ya got a point there, Applejack, Ah hadn’t thought of that. ‘Course if we do now have timberwolves tryin’ to raid the farm we’ll need to figure out a way to get them back into that blasted forest and keep the place safe for everypony.”
Applejack nodded, answering with, “Ah’ll talk to Fluttershy tomorrow to see if she can do anythin’ to help,” before suddenly turning to face the stairs and shouted, “AND DON’T YOU THREE THINK AH DON’T KNOW YA’LL ARE AT THE TOP OF THOSE STAIRS!”
The sound of what could only be hushed voices and twelve hooved legs hitting the floor came from atop the stairs, as the compromised fillies rushed back to their beds and pretend they hadn’t heard the whole conversation.
Applejack, in response, just shook her head, “Ah swear, if there’s one thing those three won’t try for their cutie marks, it’s sleepin’!” For now, she decided to not chew them out, they were just young ponies who were still curious about the world. So what if they knew about this “problem” of timberwolf intrusions? It’s not like they were going to actually do anything about it…right?
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“Iron Will does not believe he understands you correctly.”
The minotaur, out shopping at the market for provisions which he would need on his werewolf hunting quest, did not know what to make of the three tiny ponies who had approached him.
The yellow one with the bow spoke up to reply, “Mr. Will, word around town in that you’re huntin’ timberwolves, is that right?”
“Um, yes, but why do you-“
“Well, you see me and mah friends here wanna catch this one timberwolf who apparently is tryin’ to raid Sweet Apple Acres so we can get our cutie marks in timberwolf catchin’, but the only problem is we don’t know how. So we came to you to know if you could teach us!”
Yep. Iron Will had heard them right the first time. They actually wanted him to teach them how to catch savage timberwolves. On the one hand, this probably wasn’t going to be the greatest plan ever devised, since these three were just minors and didn’t have anything that would give them an advantage against wolves made of nothing but leaves and sticks. On the other, after the rather dismal performance he and his assistants had put in the last time they’d gone timberwolf hunting, they did need the practice, so knowing where there would be at least one in advance could prove a far easier starting block for working up to trying to catch a real werewolf. Plus, considering how much more savage werewolves were rumored to be compared to timberwolves, Iron Will needed to know he was up to the task.
Maybe I can just do the whole teaching thing like my assertiveness seminars, thought Iron Will, those generally tend to be very effective in teaching ponies.
“Alright, Iron Will has decided he will help you-“
He was cut off by three simultaneous voices crying out, “CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS WOLF HUNTERS! YAY!”
“However”, declared Iron Will, asserting his superiority, “Iron Will needs to discuss this with your parents and/or guardians first.”
Needless to say, the Crusaders were less than thrilled about the sudden need for their parents, and/or guardians to know about their plans being so reckless and dangerous.
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Meanwhile, over at Fluttershy’s cottage, Applejack was getting Fluttershy’s opinion on the matter.
“T-Timberwolves you say? Oh, I don’t know why they’d be resorting to raiding your farm for food. The Everfree Forest is extremely large and shouldn’t be having problems supporting the timberwolf population unless their numbers have grown excessively large. Even then, all that would do is create conflict between different packs of timberwolves over food supply, they never go beyond the edge of the forest.”
“Are ya sure there isn’t another reason for them tryin’ to steal from mah farm?”
“Well, there is one other possibility. Iron Will has allegedly been in the forest trying to catch timberwolves.”
“Now why the hay is he tryin’ to catch timberwolves?” asked a confused Applejack,” There’s nothin’ you can get from killin’ them in a way that stops ‘em from reformin’ their bodies, the wood isn’t even good for burnin’!”
“I asked him the same question, he told me that this is all prep work for his real quest to hunt werewolves.”
Applejack immediately reeled back for reasons only obvious to her. “W-werewolves? He’s huntin’ werewolves?”
Fluttershy, thinking her friend was as scared of the notion werewolves existed, continued, “I know, just the idea those legends could even be true scared me as well. But Iron Will said that he’s only doing it to try and win the hand of the minotaur princess in his home country based on some ancient decree. I didn’t really understand it, myself, but from what he told me he ended up angering an entire pack of them a few nights ago.”
But Applejack was no longer concerned about her “timberwolf” problem, in light of this new one exclusive to her. “Y-you’re sure he’s going after werewolves? B-but those don’t exist! Ah would’ve thought that somepony w-would know if their goal was impossible, an’ it don’t get more impossible than huntin’ somethin’ that doesn’t exist, right?”
Fluttershy sat on her haunches so she could shrug with her front legs, “I don’t know what to say, Applejack. He’s not hurting anypony and you can’t really do much to permanently hurt timberwolves without setting them on fire, so as long as that stays true I don’t see much of a problem with it. But what about your timberwolf raiding issue on the farm? What do you plan to do about that?”
“Oh, right, mah timberwolf problem. Well, Ah was hopin’ you might stay on the farm tonight and see if those ruffians come back. In case they do, maybe you could use your ‘Stare’ on them to get ‘em back in line or somethin’?”
“Oh, I don’t know…well, I guess I could give it a shot. It certainly would be better than harming them, at any rate. I’ll be over a little later once I pack my things so I can stay over on the farm.”
“Great! Ah’ll get the guest bedroom set up for you!”
Applejack bid farewell to Fluttershy before turning back to head to the farm. The news that Iron Will, who AJ was sure was half cow and half pectoral muscle, had come to Ponyville of all places to hunt werewolves was a massive inconvenience to her, since as a werewolf she was still trying to get complete control over her body’s new urges.
As long as he actually doesn’t know anythin’ about tracking werewolves, Ah should be fine, thought Applejack, although it would be for the best if Ah avoided him entirely.
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“Explain to me how this is going to work exactly?” asked Granny Smith.
In the timeless art of nopony communicating any of their plans, the Apples found themselves playing host to not only the entire CMC again, but also both Fluttershy and Iron Will. Applejack was, naturally, immediately scared out of her wits when the one creature who legitimately wanted to kill her was sitting in the living room and eating some apple pie. Doing her best to hide how uncomfortable she was with his presence, her nervous smile and rushed speech pattern did nothing to hide those feelings. She was lucky everypony else completely misinterpreted her reactions and believed she was just scared of the minotaur’s massively built body. So big, in fact, that he’d have to sleep in the barn as there was no way he was getting up the stairs. He barely fit in the ground floor rooms as it was.
What made things worse, however, was the reason he was even there. Somehow, the Crusaders had convinced him and his two goat assistants to help deal with the timberwolf issue under the guise of them teaching the fillies on how to deal with the problem themselves. How Granny has been convinced to even allow this despite both the arguments from Big Mac and Applejack remained a mystery. When Fluttershy had finally gotten to the Apple homestead, dealing with her needs was a cakewalk compared to trying to fit Iron Will at the dinner table, where Granny insisted on serving dinner to all parties staying the night.
Fluttershy spoke up; “Well, um, Iron Will and I have agreed to try and deal with your timberwolf problem by combining our specialties. If they show up tonight, I’ll try to peacefully convince them to leave the farm alone, then if that fails then Iron Will can-
“Iron Will shall show them that if they think this farm is a push over, all they’ll get is the once over!” shouted Iron Will, once again finding himself trying to interject is seminar quotes into conversations. Somehow, they didn’t really work outside of the context of said seminars.
“Uh, yes, thank you Iron Will,” continued Fluttershy, recovering from being startled and hitting both Big Mac and Applejack in the face with her flared wings, “anyway, we’ll be doing that, and the CMC can watch if they want, they won’t be in any trouble.”
That was when Sweetie Belle interjected with her own contribution, holding up a book titled How to Deal with a Werewolf Problem, by an author named Blue Velvet. “We can help by reading from books like this!”
“Sweetie Belle, where did you get that book?” asked Apple Bloom.
“I found it with Iron Will’s stuff,” answered the tiny unicorn, before opening it up and reading the first few lines, “Do you think your lover becomes a monster at night? Does his fifth leg become rock hard during the full moon? This guide will instruct you on how to turn that savage creature into your greatest toy and give you nights of unparalleled, passion-filled nights of love mak-“
Iron Will, who hadn’t actually been paying much attention, immediately reacted when he realized just which one of his books Sweetie Belle was reading, managing to move just in time to snatch the book away before everypony else figured out what the book really was.
“Iron Will would like to remind everypony that it is very rude to go through the things belonging to others, especially when those things contain items that are very unfit for young minds!”
Applejack immediately grew suspicious at Iron Will’s reasoning for snatching the book, “Unfit for fillies to see? What’s in that there book, exactly? Let me see it, Ah’m a grown mare.”
Deciding to let the book speak for itself, Iron will handed it over to Applejack, who grabbed it and immediately started reading. Five seconds later her face managed to both go pale and break out in a bright red blush as she realized what Iron Will had prevented the CMC from reading. She closed the book and handed it back over to the minotaur, stammering out “Wh-why do you even have a book like that?!”
After placing the book under himself such that the CMC couldn’t get access to it, Iron Will gave out a half-hearted response while not directly looking anypony else in the eye and blushing a fair shade of crimson in his own right, “Iron Will judged the book to be about werewolf hunting from it’s cover. Combined with the extremely low price the vendor was putting on it, Iron Will figured it was worth spending a few bits to see if the book was very good. Iron Will has since regretted that action and has been trying to find a way to dispose of this book so that it can’t offend anypony of sane mind with its, um, “risque’” suggestions for its true intended audience.”
At that point Big Mac, Fluttershy, and Granny also figured out what Iron Will had unintentionally bought and the CMC almost read about, visibly blanching as a result. The CMC were still confused as to what everypony else was trying to keep from them, only knowing that it may or may not have been adult-only material. And Applejack was desperately trying not to start breaking down into hysterics at the situation she was in.
First Ah can’t go runnin’ in the woods because of some hormornal thing involvin’ mah time of the month, then Ah get this timberwolf raidin’ nonsense started ‘cause Ah can’t keep mah damn mouth shut when Ah’m a wolf, and now Mah sister almost found out about ‘the birds an’ the bees’ in the most horrifyingly detailed way imaginable! Applejack lamented silently, can this night get any worse for me?!
Of course, as is always the case of an accidental invocation of Murphy’s Law, it would soon become a night Applejack would never forget for all the wrong reasons.