Chapter Four – A Helping Hoof
A cacophony of sound greeted Twilight, Spike and Rarity as they alighted their train at Ponyville station. There was a loud pop and a multitude of colourful streamers flew in every direction, taken by the breeze in whichever direction it saw fit. A party horn screeched loudly over shouts of “welcome home” and “congratulations” and the trio were engulfed by four excited mares, all vying for their attention.
It was everything Twilight had feared. As much as she loved Pinkie Pie’s abundant optimism, this all seemed a little thoughtless. Throwing a party to celebrate somepony’s success when you had no idea whether they had succeeded or not was typical of her: she was so confident in her friend’s ability that she couldn’t contemplate a scenario where it wouldn’t been rewarded.
Rarity stood sheepishly at the eye of the storm, ducking her head and trying to avoid the swarm of questions buzzing around. Everypony mistook this quiet embarrassment for modesty, continuing to bombard the grey unicorn with praise and yet more questions.
This must have been hard for Rarity to deal with. Twilight could see her trying her very best to tell them what had happened but since the welcome was in her honour, she couldn’t bring herself to ruin it by informing her friends of her failure. Rarity looked over, her eyes imploring Twilight to say something. Twilight plucked up her courage, knowing just how tough this was going to be: “Everypony, listen!”
A gradual hush fell and everypony’s attention centred on her. She glanced at Rarity, who closed her eyes and let her chin fall. Twilight took a deep breath, trying to think of the best way to say what she had to say but no words came to her mind. After this false start, Applejack looked over towards Rarity and understanding crept across her features.
“What’s happened, sugar cube?” she asked Rarity softly, trotting to her side.
Rarity didn’t answer the question. She didn’t even look up, instead opting to poke at a pink streamer with her hoof. She seemed very interested in the way it flopped around lifelessly on the wood of the platform.
Back in Canterlot, Rarity had appeared to have accepted the unfortunate turn of events, but seeing what festivities she would have been privy to had she accomplished what she had meant to looked to have thrust her unresolved emotions back to the fore.
Twilight walked over to Rarity, pulling her in to a soft embrace, whispering in her ear: “It’s OK, Rarity. Pick yourself up and dust your down, remember?”
Rarity looked in to Twilight’s eyes and nodded, straightening herself up and standing tall. She looked at each of the ponies in turn before speaking.
“Thank you so much for the kind reception. I appreciate the thought. Really. This was wonderful. But I’m afraid...” she faltered, taking another deep, steadying breath, “I am afraid I don’t deserve your congratulations. It seems that Miss Mode and I have differing opinions of what constitutes fabulosity. Needless to say, she will not be helping me promote my couture in Canterlot.”
Applejack caught Twilight’s eye, clearly sharing her concern. Everypony else, however, seemed to have fallen for Rarity’s false display of confidence.
“Who needs her anyway?!” Rainbow asked, landing softly at her side, “We all already know you’re the best fashion designer in all of Canterlot, am I right?”
Nopony could argue with that and Twilight watched as the four ponies once again descended upon Rarity in a huge group hug. Rarity glanced momentarily at Twilight before allowing herself to be swept up in the moment. Despite everything, a broad smile crept across her face. That, Twilight reflected, truly was the magic of friendship.
* * * * *
For some things, time is the only healer: for others, time simply allows a seed to grow.
A week or two had passed since her return from Canterlot and Twilight was at home practicing a new spell which would allow her to remove the seeds and stalk from an apple without cutting it. After a few hours however, it became apparent that she simply didn’t have the necessary levels of concentration to master it.
In fact, she hadn’t been able to concentrate properly on anything at all recently. Day after day, she had found her mind wandering to the Carousel Boutique and, more specifically, to Rarity. And more often than not, she had followed it. At first she had been going to keep Rarity company while she was still upset about Chic.
As time had gone on though, Rarity had gotten back to her normal self and Twilight’s visits had become more for her own benefit rather than her friend’s.
Twilight dropped the apple in frustration and trotted off to her bedroom. One more time, she thought. She removed a dress from a large chest at the foot of her bed and clumsily pulled a button loose with her teeth, throwing it in her saddlebags along with the dress itself. That would give her an excuse to be visiting again so soon.
She had begun to feel guilty about her frequent visits, all of which were unplanned and unannounced. Each time, Rarity had appeared happy to see her but she knew that her friend was a busy pony. She had a schedule to keep and clients to appease. This will be the last time, she told herself. She let Spike know she was going out, slung her saddle bags over her back and left.
She cantered purposefully towards the Carousel Boutique, not pausing to speak to anypony and not concentrating on anything but her goal. This time she would say something. This time she would tell Rarity how she felt. The truth
When she arrived, she stared at the door briefly, her heart fluttering. She had been here before with the same trepidation and the same paralysing fear. She began to pace a little in an attempt to quell her nervous energy.
However many times she had considered this scenario, that was how many different outcomes she had envisaged. The imagined Rarity had exhibited the whole gamut of emotions, from ecstasy to revulsion. At times she had swooned and fallen in to Twilight’s arms and at others, she had pushed her away and run screaming.
In the end, she mused, it hardly mattered which Rarity came to be. There was always going to be the uncertainty of what would happen next. Everything would change. Not only her relationship with Rarity, but the dynamics of her friendships with Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow and Pinkie, not to mention Spike. He would be devastated. Unless she simply didn’t tell him. That was always an option. Then there was their roles as the elements of harmony.
An intense struggle raged within her between her fear of rejection and change and her insatiable longing to be Rarity’s very special somepony or more than that, her true love.
And if she didn’t tell Rarity how she felt, what then? Perhaps she was already past the point of no return. Perhaps realising her feelings for Rarity had already irreparably changed the course of their friendship, or indeed her entire life. Things wouldn’t go back to normal if she didn’t do anything because she couldn’t just stop having those feelings.
Ultimately, desire overpowered anxiety and she pushed open the door. She stepped into the beautiful lavender carpeted interior of Rarity’s boutique. Twilight’s eyes darted from pink drape to pink drape searching for her.
Hearing the bell chime above the entrance, Rarity walked down a set of spiral stairs towards the back of the shop. She looked annoyed, as though she had something extremely important to be getting on with.
“Welcome to Carouselle Boutique where everything is chic, unique and magnifique,” she said in her most business-like tone, but upon seeing Twilight, her displeasure was replaced by a dazzling smile: “Why, hello Twilight! It’s so good to see you again.”
“Hi, Rarity. I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” Twilight rushed.
“Not at all, darling!” Rarity insisted.
There followed a short silence in which Rarity seemed to be waiting for something. Twilight was too caught up planning her next move to bring them on to the subject she needed them to be on to notice that nothing had been said for almost half a minute.
“What can I do for you?” Rarity asked, breaking the silence.
Twilight cocked her head: “Do for me?”
Did she suspect something was going on? She obviously supposed Twilight had a purpose for being there otherwise she wouldn’t have asked that question. She hadn’t asked anything of the sort last time. She had just assumed it was a friendly visit. Am I being obvious?
“Yes,” Rarity ventured, eying Twilight’s saddle bags pointedly, “Do for you. You haven’t brought something for me to take a look at?”
“Oh yes, of course,” Twilight blurted out, “Button!”
In her reverie, she had completely forgotten that she had prepared a reason for her visit. She used her magic to open the bags and remove her accomplice. She cleared her throat.
“I have this dress and the button fell off.”
Rarity took the dress with her magic and laid it out on a table, examining the other buttons and then the loose threads where the missing button had been. Twilight watched her over her shoulder nervously.
“What did you say happened, again?” Rarity asked.
“The button fell off,” Twilight responded.
“No, no, I mean to say, how did you say it happened?” Rarity pressed.
Why is she asking that? Twilight wondered. Certainly, she hadn’t thought of how to answer.
“Oh, I didn’t say. I don’t know. I was looking through my chest and I found it like this. Perhaps the threads just frayed? It’s quite an old dress,” she answered, thinking on her hooves and forcing a little laugh.
“I see,” Rarity smiled, “Well this shouldn’t take too long. Come and I’ll show you how to fix it. You seem to have some bad luck with buttons.”
Twilight followed Rarity through the shop and back up the stairs to her work room. It was still exactly as it always was: numerous half finished dresses on ponyquins and piles of fabric. The only new additions were dozens, maybe hundreds of balled up sheets of paper lying in or near a small mesh wastepaper basket. Twilight still wondered at how Rarity was able to find anything in this mess. If it were her, she would have everything organised and tidied away at the end of each day.
Rarity went to a drawer and removed a few reels of thread, holding each one against the dress to match the colour. When she found the right shade, she threw the rest back in the drawer and threaded a needle. She laid the dress on a clear table and sat on a work stool, beckoning Twilight to her side.
“So the first thing we do is to remove all of the loose thread,” Rarity removed a clump of split fibres from the space where the button used to be, “One would expect there to be less of it, given that it fell off through wear. In any case, this gives us a neat starting point.”
Twilight panicked. Rarity must have suspected something was wrong with her story. With her eye for detail and especially with it being in her area of expertise, she was bound to have noticed this was a tear and not a worn out length of thread.
That being the case, did she know that this was all just an excuse to spend some time with her? Was she just playing along to keep Twilight happy? Was this entire exercise just a game? Twilight felt a little flicker of hope ignite in her heart.
If Rarity knew that Twilight had gone to such lengths just to create a reason to spend time with her, she would almost certainly have guessed why. And if she knew why and hadn’t tried to escape the situation, that meant she wanted it as much as Twilight did. It would suit her character to be wooed, after all.
No, that would just be too easy, Twilight realised. She probably just thought it was a strange coincidence.
With these thoughts swirling around in her head, Twilight watched as Rarity explained and demonstrated all of the steps necessary to affix a button to a garment. She made it look rather simple. The spell she was casting to move the needle so precisely must have been a lot harder than she let on. When she was finished, Rarity levitated the dress to show it off to Twilight.
“Wow, Rarity, it looks even better than before!” Twilight said, “You’re amazing.”
Rarity bowed her head meekly.
“Oh you’re too kind. I’m sure you could do just as good a job. Here give it a try.”
Without warning, she tore the button off with her teeth and laid the dress back on the table. She patted the work stool with her hoof, smiling mischievously at Twilight.
She knew.
Twilight’s heart thudded against her ribs. This hadn’t been what she’d planned. There was no choice now. There was no backing out. She had convinced herself that this would be her decision. That she could still refuse. That option had been taken from her. It was now or never. All or nothing.
With a small squeak, she lunged forward throwing her arms around the grey unicorn’s neck with reckless abandon. Taking one last look into those beautiful deep blue eyes, she pressed her lips against Rarity’s.
Absolute terror took hold of Twilight the moment she felt Rarity’s soft coat brushing against her own. This was madness. For some reason, she felt as though she had been led to this situation; implanted somewhere she was not meant to be. Now that she was here, she didn’t know what to do or what to think.
In none of her imagined scenarios had Rarity taken so long to respond. Then again, this was nothing like anything she could possibly have imagined. The feelings running around inside her were completely alien.
After what felt like an eternity, Rarity pressed herself against Twilight: her lips, her muzzle, her horn and even her chest were all trying to get as close as they could to her. In this whirlwind of emotion, Twilight briefly she forgot about everything: every fear, every consequence and everypony else apart from the light grey mare in her arms.
The sheer ecstasy coursing through her was a feeling like none she had experienced before. She was suddenly weightless. Her stomach moved around in strange ways, causing her to experience both tension and complete serenity at the same time. Her heart threatened to burst through her chest. This was what she had hoped for from the moment she had first noticed her feelings for Rarity, yet she still felt uneasy.
Something at the back of her mind kept gnawing away at her. This was Rarity after all: the most elegant, the most stylish, the most popular and the most beautiful pony in all of Ponyville. What reason could such a desirable mare possibly have to be kissing plain old bookish Twilight?
She pushed these thoughts from her mind and broke the kiss gently, barely letting their lips part. Unfathomable though it was, Rarity clearly had wanted to kiss her. She had even guided her in to a situation where she would be forced to do it. Maybe I’m over-thinking things, she reasoned.
Continuing to rest her horn against Rarity’s, Twilight stared in to her eyes allowing herself to be swept up in the moment. For all that it hadn’t been what she had expected or imagined, it had still been perfect.
“Twilight Sparkle, you surprise me,” Rarity giggled, affecting an alluring kind of innocence.
“You knew what you were doing,” Twilight said, “You made me do that.”
“Made you?” Rarity laughed, “No. I just gave you a little push, as it were.”
With that she closed her eyes and pulled Twilight in to another embrace. This one felt a lot more relaxed than the last; not as feverish but no less passionate. Twilight could feel Rarity running a gentle hoof through her mane, making her shiver. She hoped that that moment in time could last forever but all to soon it came to an end.
Rarity broke the kiss, looking very proud of herself.
“You can’t imagine how often I’ve dreamt about doing that,” she said, making Twilight blush deeply, “A small town pony from little old Ponyville seduced a regal Canterlot mare. And Princess Celestia’s personal protégée no less.”
Twilight narrowed her eyes. She knew it had been too good to be true. Perfect indeed.
“You mean you’ve dreamt of doing that with me? Or just anypony from Canterlot?” she demanded, feeling her elation melt away to nothing.
Her heart felt as though somepony had grasped it and was wringing it dry. She was just another Prince Blueblood to her; desirable because of her birth. Not for her personality, not for her mind and not even for her looks.
Rarity put her hoof on Twilight’s shoulder, despite clearly being frightened by her sudden intensity: “What are you talking about, Twilight? Of course I meant with you. I was just saying... it was a compliment.”
Twilight knocked Rarity’s hoof away and turned her back on her erstwhile lover, brushing away a single tear. A compliment? Yes, but a compliment to herself. Congratulations, Rarity, on potentially elevating your own status.
“Oh yes, of course, because I’m Celestia’s protégée; because I know royalty. But anypony with similar connections would do, right? Nothing but the best for Rarity!” Twilight screamed, snorting wildly.
Rarity lifted her hoof across her chest, her eyes filling with tears: “No! That’s not it at all! Why are you saying all of this? I thought, this was what you wanted. What we both wanted.”
“You thought I wanted to be your arm candy?!” Twilight spat.
Rarity fell to the floor, shaking her head weakly in the face of these accusations: “No. I... I... Please, Twilight, you have to understand...”
Twilight had heard enough. Before she lost the will, she galloped from the work room, from the shop and all the way back to the safety of her own home. By the time she reached the front door of the library, her anger had left her. All she felt now was a hollow ache in her chest.
Why did she have to be so shallow? Hot tears burned Twilight’s cheeks as the spilled out of her eyes. She stumbled blindly through the front door and collapsed in a heap shaking convulsively. Her legs could no longer support her weight. Occasional sobs escaped her throat as she lay in a pile of her own self-pity.
“Twilight? What's wrong, Twilight?” She felt a small claw touch her back.
She let out an inarticulate cry and Spike patted her back gently, comfortingly. Half an hour or more passed like this, with Twilight crying softly and Spike doing his best to console her without actually understanding what the problem was. Twilight lay exhausted and tearless when there came a loud knock at the door.
“Twilight?!” Rarity’s muffled voice floated in to the room.
Spike stood up to answer the door.
“I’m not here,” Twilight hissed at the confused dragon and ran to her bedroom, punching the pillows on her bed in to a more comfortable shape.
As she lay on her side staring out of the window, she could hear Spike opening the door and greeting Rarity. Their conversation carried through the walls.
“Is Twilight home? She left... that is to say, I found her saddle bags and I thought she might like them back.”
Twilight held her breath, listening, hoping Spike would do what she had asked. She knew how he got around Rarity. Perhaps now, she could understand why. There was just something about her. She rolled over and glowered at herself in the mirror. No, there was nothing about her. She was callous and proud.
“I’m sorry, Rarity, I haven’t seen her in hours,” he said.
“Oh, that’s quite alright, darling. Will you make sure you give her these? I can’t imagine she would like to find she had lost them. And when she comes back, tell her I stopped by and that I would have quite liked to speak with her,” Rarity said.
“Of course, I will,” Spike responded.
“Thank you, Spike. Have a pleasant evening.”
No sooner was the door was closed than Spike was in her bedroom.
“She wanted me to give you these,” he said, putting the bags down at the foot of her bed, “What happened between you two? And don’t tell me it nothing. First you come galloping in here crying, then Rarity shows up. You run up here and refuse to talk to her when she clearly wants to talk to you. It’s definitely something. Did you guys have a fight?”
Twilight sighed and looked at Spike. She couldn’t just ignore his questions. He was obviously concerned. If she didn’t tell him, he would no doubt hear about it from Rarity. He was so inquisitive, she knew he wouldn’t rest until he knew what was going on.
Still, she couldn’t tell him everything without tainting his friendship with Rarity and as much as she hated her right now, that wasn’t something she wanted to do. Maybe she could skip the details.
“Yes,” she said, “we had a fight. What it was about doesn’t matter. All that matters is that she said something very hurtful to me and I don’t want to see her again.”
Spike looked like he wanted to know more but if he did, he didn’t ask. He simply gave Twilight another hug and left the room.