I contemplated my navel for a few more minutes before deciding that I needed a cigarette. There was no way I was dealing with the situation without nicotine in my system, and potentially alcohol too when Veronica finally arrived.
Normally I’d have a smoke on the small balcony of our apartment, but that was all but blocked by snow at the moment. There was a side entrance to the building near the adjacent parking garage that was covered by a canopy, and I figured that it wouldn’t be too snowed-in, so I decided to head there. I’d also glanced out the window and noted much to my annoyance that the snow had stopped.
Shrugging my jacket back on and lacing up my boots, I gave one last glace over to the two women lying on my bed, making sure nothing was amiss, before heading out of the apartment.
Of course, as chance would have it, a wild Katie appeared, sitting cross-legged against the far wall of the hallway between the two elevators while waiting to pounce upon unwary stragglers for food. When she spotted me, I actually almost wished that I had a can of Repel.
“Hiyo, Panda,” she said with a smirk. “Got them panties untwisted then?”
As she stood up to greet me, I once again noticed that at her full height, Katie didn’t even reach the top of my chest. Her hair was long and light blonde, tied up in a loose, poofy ponytail, and green eyes sparkled with mischief. She was currently dressed in skinny jeans, slip-on shoes and a green cut-off tank-top that matched her eyes despite the cold weather, the crazy woman. All-in-all, as usual, I couldn’t help but label her as attractive.
I also noted that she was sober too, the last time I’d seen her in such a state being a week ago.
I glanced away uncomfortably at her question. “Yeah, well . . . look, I’m sorry about before, Katie,” I apologized. “It’s just that something strange came up and I panicked.”
Katie shrugged. “Hey, it’s cool,” she said and gave me an easy smile.
“. . . Really?” I asked, slightly disbelieving her.
“Yeah, you’re on your period.” Her smile turned back into a teasing smirk as she brought an arm up to pat my shoulder mock-sympathetically. “I understand.”
I huffed a laugh and shook my head. “Yeah, of course. That’s it.”
“So where ya goin’ anyway?” she asked, poking at my coat curiously.
“Going downstairs for a cig,” I answered, checking my phone for the time. It was seven-forty now, so I figured that maybe I’d meet Veronica in the garage since she was coming home soon anyway.
I slipped it back into my pocket and looked up, and Katie was giving me that damnable puppy-dog-eyed expression.
“. . . And I bet you want one too, don’t you,” I deadpanned. When she nodded enthusiastically, I snorted. “Go get your coat then. I don’t want you getting sick.”
“You got it, bro!” Katie beamed at me and snapped a casual salute before knocking on a nearby apartment door. “Hey, it’s Katie. Is my jacket still in there?”
In response, the door opened a bit and the requested jacket was thrown at the wall. “Stop leaving your shit in here, Katie!” I heard an irritated voice mutter before the door slammed shut.
“Thanks dude!” Katie said gratefully, and picked up and slipped on her jacket. She then turned to me, ignoring my bemused expression. “C’mon, let’s go!”
XXXXX-XXXXX
“I’m still sorry. I shouldn’t have been so rude before.”
“Don’tcha worry about it, Panda.” Katie waved my apology off again, exhaling a puff of cigarette smoke that eventually turned into her condensed breath. “Like I said, you’re on your period, I know.” She gave me another teasing grin.
I rolled my eyes, taking a pull from my cigarette. “Whatever, Katie.”
“Love you too, Panda,” she said cheekily, sticking out her tongue.
I found myself chuckling along with her, until a sudden gust of wind cut at our faces.
“Damn, it’s cold!” she said with a shiver. Unexpectedly, she came to my side and burrowed herself under my arm. Since Katie was much shorter than me, her head fit perfectly in the crook of my arm and shoulder. “Ah, you’re warm, Panda,” she cooed contentedly.
I started in surprise, but then rolled my eyes again, adjusting to hold Katie. “Well, yeah. I mean, I am a panda after all,” I said sarcastically, getting a giggle from her.
We stood in a comfortable silence for another minute before she spoke up again. “So what’s up with you anyway? Somethin’ bad happened?” Inquiring green eyes turned upon me.
I debated internally for a second before deciding to tell her of what had happened. Flighty she may be, but Katie was pretty dependable.
“The reason I was so annoyed before was because . . . well, to be blunt, I found two unconscious naked women freezing to death in the park on my way home,” I explained slowly.
“So let me guess. Being the Good Samaritan you are, you have them on your bed under a buncha blankets,” she deadpanned, idly pushing back a lock of hair that had blown in her face. “Or am I wrong?”
I snorted in slight surprise, taking another drag. Katie could be astonishingly sharp, when she felt like it. And when she was sober.
“No, that’s about right,” I said. “I was panicking earlier because they have hypothermia, but I’ve managed to get them stable now. I’m really glad I found them, otherwise they would’ve been dead. And I don’t really want to think about what would’ve happened if somebody else had found them.”
I paused to give her an apologetic look. “I would’ve asked you for help before too, but like I said, I was panicking and I didn’t know what to do at the time. I’m sorry.”
There was another short period of silence and I glanced down again at Katie, who was staring at me with a contemplative expression.
“. . . You’re such a good guy, Giovanni,” she muttered a moment later, flicking her spent cigarette out into a nearby pile of snow.
Part of me wanted to ask why she’d said that, even using my real name for once, but she continued on before I could open my mouth.
“So where’s Veronica anyway?” she asked, huddling against me further.
Briefly, I marveled at the oddity of the women in my life, absently dropping and grinding my own cigarette into the slush under my heel.
I refocused a moment later, answering, “That’s actually part of the reason I’m down here. She’s supposed to come home soon with some stuff I asked her to buy for the two upstairs.”
Just as I said that, I saw her car come turn the corner down the block.
“And here she comes now, actually,” I commented. “I’m gonna go meet her.”
As I started towards the parking garage, I heard Katie yelp as she followed me and then caught up to my side.
I gave her a side glance. “You know, you don’t have to come with me. You’re not even wearing boots,” I observed. The streets and driveways were clear, but the sidewalks – not so much. Thus her exposed feet were pretty much covered with snow as the two of us trudged onwards.
“Y-Yeah, but I g-got nothin’ else b-better to do,” Katie managed through chattering teeth as she clutched at my arm to stabilize herself. “. . . Though I k-kinda wish that I t-thought this through a little m-more.”
“Right,” I said, not without some amusement.
As the car drew near and finally slowed to turn into the garage, I waved to its driver. “Veronica!” I called, and by my side, Katie waved as well.
As she pulled into the entrance driveway, Veronica stopped and rolled down her window. “Hey guys,” she greeted with a smile. “You didn’t have to come down here to meet me, Panda,” she said to me.
I shrugged and started to say something when Katie interrupted me. “We c-came down f-for a bogue,” she explained, using the slang term for a cigarette. “Then we j-just waited for you to come h-home.”
Veronica gave Katie a concerned look. “Katie, you alright?”
The blonde shook her head. “My f-feet are f-freezing!” She let go of my arm and sprinted towards the car.
Before either Veronica or I knew what was going on, Katie had crawled onto the car, hugging the hood.
“Beam me up, Scotty!” she cried. “Take us home!”
“Katie!” Veronica stuck her head out of the window in consternation. “Damn it, get the hell off my car!” She turned to me. “Giovanni, get her off!” she demanded.
I palmed my face.
XXXXX-XXXXX
“So these are the two mystery women, huh?” Veronica mused once she had calmed down and Katie had dried off and we’d brought all of the stuff back to the apartment.
The three of us were gathered in my now-crowded room. I was leaning against the wall adjacent to the door with my arms crossed and a bottle of water in hand, Katie had perched herself upon my desk, swinging her legs, and Veronica had claimed my chair and was sitting in it backwards. All of us were observing to two on my bed.
“Yep. No clothes, no ID – nothing.” I gave a shrug. “Though they look a hell of lot better now than when I dragged them in here, that’s for sure.”
Veronica stared at them for a long moment before turning to me. “What’s up with their hair? Are they hipsters or something?” she asked me in confusion. Katie looked at me as well.
“Why are you asking me?” I said, throwing my hands up in exasperation. “I’m just the one who found them.”
“Suspicious, suspicious,” Katie mumbled aloud. She hopped off my desk and walked around Veronica to get a closer look at the unconscious women.
And then she poked the older one in the face.
“Katie!” Veronica yelped.
“The hell are you doing?” I demanded, starting forward. “Stop that, they’re sick!”
To my alarm, she began to show signs of waking up. Her eyelids fluttered briefly before opening, revealing pink irises that looked blearily at the ceiling. Given the oddness of the whole situation in general, I found myself surprisingly unsurprised. They might have been contacts, but if that was the case, then her eyes would be stinging pretty badly when she recovered.
“Ooh, she’s waking up!” Katie murmured excitedly.
The woman glanced towards the sound of her voice and her eyes widened in alarm.
Damn it. What the woman needed was a calm environment after what she’d endured, and Katie was not helping matters.
“Okay. You two, out. Now. This room’s too crowded and she needs space,” I said authoritatively, pointing to the door. To expedite things, I casually mentioned, “Veronica, I made your favorite today – and no, I haven’t forgotten; tortellini with pesto. It’s in the fridge, and it’s all yours if you get Katie out of here.”
As soon as I said that, Veronica all but grabbed Katie in a chokehold and bolted out the door. “Thanks, Panda!” she called over her shoulder, ignoring Katie’s screams for help.
“And heat up some water for tea, please?”
“You got it!”
I closed the door, letting out a small sigh, before turning to the woman, who was staring at me. Underneath the towels, I could make out her expression of wariness upon her face.
“Sorry about them,” I said more to myself, carefully moving to take a seat. The last thing I wanted to do was to be mistaken as a kidnapper, or worse, a rapist. “Can you understand me?” I said in a soft tone of voice.
She slowly nodded her head. “Wh . . .” she started with a croak.
“Don’t talk just yet,” I said urgently, shushing her. She complied, still looking at me wearily.
I knew that she would need hot liquids, but until I could make that tea, lukewarm water would have to suffice. I cracked open my water bottle and raised it carefully to her mouth, and she took a few small gulps.
“That better?” I asked gently. She nodded in assent, her eyes having not left my face. “Stay calm, okay? Now, I’m going to get you something warmer to drink. I’ll just be a moment.”
Standing up and trying to ignore the stare that was no doubt following my movement, I walked out of my room and headed into the kitchen, where Veronica and Katie were patiently waiting at the table for the microwave to beep.
“Really? The microwave? You could’ve used the stove to reheat it,” I commented, moving to the electric kettle we had as it started to boil over. Apparently there was enough water in it for one cup, which made it heat faster.
Veronica deflected my statement with, “So how is she?”
“She seems a little scared, but I would be too if I found myself in strange place,” I responded, reaching for a mug and a teabag from the cabinets.
“That happened to me a few times,” Katie admitted shamelessly.
“Of course,” Veronica snorted, reaching over and patting our stoner friend on the head like a dog.
Rolling my eyes, I poured the hot water over the tea bag and let it sit for a minute before picking it up.
“I’m heading back to talk to her. Do not make a mess in my kitchen,” I warned the two.
The two looked like the picture of false innocence. “Who, me?” Veronica said dramatically. “Never!”
I snorted, but let it slide. Veronica couldn’t cook to save her life, and both she and Katie relied on me to make food when we didn’t feel like ordering take-out. Katie on the other hand was a messy eater. Very messy. Really, sometimes I felt like a housewife with those two around.
Leaving the kitchen, I went back into my room with the mug in hand.
I stopped in my doorway for a moment. The strange woman was sitting up, having pushed off part of the blanket away, and was leaning over her companion in obvious worry and concern, but also confusion. I wondered about the last emotion I read before stepping in fully, catching her attention as she looked in my direction.
“Hey, I’m back,” I said with my best smile. She smiled back, albeit somewhat hesitantly, but I counted that as a success in my book. “Here, some hot tea for you.” I raised the mug in question, moving towards her to give her the steaming mug.
She took it with another small but thankful smile, reaching out with shaking hands. I frowned internally, feeling like an idiot again; I should’ve known that she was still recovering, after all. Gently, I wrapped my hand around hers, ignoring her surprised expression, and helped her take a few careful sips.
What I noticed as I did so was that it was almost as if she had no idea how to hold a cup. Her fingers were twitchy and moved erratically, and it was like she didn’t seem to grasp the concept of gripping – hah, irony. The thought was silly, I’d admit, but that was what it looked like. Maybe it was because she was still affected by the cold, and her body was still stiff.
A moment later, she had apparently had enough, so I released her hands, took the mug and placed it on my desk. I then sat down on my chair and clasped my hands together on top of my legs.
“So,” I started after a short silence. “How are you feeling?”
“Better,” she whispered, sounding a lot healthier than before.
I nodded. “That’s good, that’s good. Now, I hate to cut to the chase, but I’m guessing you have questions. Like why you’re here, who I am, what happened – that kind of stuff.”
The woman nodded hesitantly.
“Okay, for starters, my name’s Giovanni. I found you and your friend over there” – I nodded to the other woman by her side – “out in the park in the middle of a blizzard, the both of you naked as anything. The two of you had hypothermia, so I took you back to my apartment and bundled you up to get you guys warm. This all happened about an hour ago now. I’m actually surprised you’re awake, but that’s entirely Katie’s fault.”
I had mumbled the last part to myself before continuing, “That’s basically what happened, anyway. Do you remember why you were in the park? Or what caused you to be there in the first place?”
She nodded again. “Thank you for you kindness, Mister Giovanni. I am Princess Celestia. My sister is Princess Luna,” she said quietly, gesturing to the still-sleeping woman. “We were fighting Queen Chrysalis, the leader of the changelings. Our three spells collided . . . and I think the resulting backlash sent us to that park you spoke of. With our disappearance, I can only have faith that my faithful student, Twilight Sparkle, will take care of the situation until my sister and I can return,” she finished rather calmly.
The woman – Celestia – looked down at herself. “It also seems that the spell has changed our appearances as well,” she commented, and I watched as she observed her hands with a strange intensity. “We are no longer ponies, apparently.” She looked up at me curiously. “What species are you, if you don’t mind my asking? I’ve encountered gryphons, dragons, cows, bulls, hydras – all manner of creatures, but never anything like yourself.”
I stared at her for a long moment, my brain trying to process the nonsense that my ears just heard.
“Uh-huh,” I finally sounded, full of disbelief. “Are you sure you and your sister weren’t on shrooms or something?”
I received a rather bewildered look for my comment. “‘Shrooms’?” Celestia parroted, raising an elegant-looking eyebrow in confusion. “As in ‘mushrooms’? What do those have to do with anything?”
She looked genuinely confused.
I hadn’t save two hobo prostitutes.
No, I had saved two women who were instead tripping out of their minds. And for some reason, that scared me more than my previous assumption.