Thunk!
This was the sound a book made when it fell from the top shelf of a bookcase in Canterlot castle’s library. It was an annoying sound to ponies that preferred a quiet atmosphere when they read books.
Ker-thunk! Splat!
That was the sound made by a book that was deliberately knocked off by another book which sat upon the top shelf of the library bookcase. This was a much more annoying sound and one that generally escalated to shouting from frustrated readers, forced removal of offending ponies from the library, and collateral damage.
Ker-thunk! Splat!
Twilight Sparkle slammed the large tome down on the desk. She was tasked by Princess Celestia this morning to merge all the export reports for Equestria into one concise listing. This was a time consuming, but fairly trivial project to accomplish for a pony that had a keen eye for details.
However, there was a difficulty that arose in the past fifteen minutes. This difficulty took the form of a creature with an eagle’s claw, a lion’s paw, and no sense of manners.
“Will you stop that?!” Twilight yelled out with frustration. Twilight’s voice echoed in the vast castle library. The gray, cracked vaulted ceilings reflected sound quite well, particularly angry sounds.
Discord peered out from the large fortress he had constructed nearby out of books. The morning light shone through the large windows and reflected eerily off the red pupils in his eyes. “Stop what?” the spirit of chaos asked innocently. “Do you want me to stop the birds chirping outside? Or stop the ticking noise of the clock hanging in the corner? Stop time itself? You’ll have to be specific; you know how Celestia throws a fit when I act on vague requests.”
Twilight frowned at the draconequus. “What I mean is for you to stop knocking books off the top shelves,” the young pony explained.
“I’m not hurting anyone,” Discord countered. “I was just bored and wanted to try out a new game.”
“Well your little ‘game’ is annoying me,” Twilight said, “You’re also making a huge mess on the floor.”
Discord snapped his eagle-clawed fingers. The books he had knocked down all stood up on their spines and then flapped their covers madly. The tomes ascended into the air and sorted themselves in their original positions on the top shelf.
“Does this please your highness?” Discord asked flatly.
“I’d be pleased,” Twilight began, “If you would go take your silly games outside.”
Discord retreated back behind his book fort. “Sheesh!” he grumbled loudly. “You grow a pair of wings and apparently an attitude comes with it. You know, I have horns and wings too! Why am I not a princess?”
“I’m not even going to dignify that with a response,” Twilight said as she returned to her project.
Princess Luna walked in from between the tall oak shelves of the library. The lit candles that hung from the nearby chandelier almost appeared to have bowed at the presence of the dark blue regal princess of the night. Luna’s steely gaze fell immediately upon the red, dragon-like tail that peaked from behind the fortress of books between her and Twilight.
“What, pray tell,” Luna said, “Is the matter with you today, Discord?”
The chaotic spirit waved a hand from behind his fortress of almanacs and history books. “Why should I even bother explaining myself?” Discord flatly stated. “You’re going to take Twilight’s side anyway.”
Luna glanced over at Twilight and the purple Alicorn only shrugged. Luna then focused her magical horn at the stacks of books. One wall of Discord’s book fort rose an inch into the air and then shifted over to the left before they settled again. This exposed the draconequus to the two princesses.
“These books are valuable and should not be treated so poorly,” Luna said matter-of-factly.
“They’re books!” Discord countered. “You can stack them in piles. I’m pretty sure they get stacked in piles all the time. Look, I’m not even eating the Qs like last time!”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “That was a frustrating week for me,” she mumbled.
“Discord, you shall clean up this mess immediately,” Luna commanded, “And give Twilight solitude for her project. It is of utmost importance that she completes the report today.”
“See, you’re taking her side already!” Discord shouted. An illusion of a second Discord popped up from behind the fort’s far stack of books.
“Yeah, two against one is just plain rude!” the illusionary copy stated angrily.
Twilight let out a frustrated growl. “Could you just go play outside or something, Discord?”
“I should be allowed access to the library like everyone else!” Discord said defensively as his magical copy merged back with him.
The three continued their argument until it became an incoherent jumble of words.
In the hall outside, Princess Celestia was walking in haste toward her throne room. She had overslept due to a terrible night of fitful sleep and nearly failed to raise the sun on time. She also skipped breakfast against her stomach’s wishes, but she had to get to work on completing the reports for tomorrow.
Celestia’s faded demeanor deepened to frustration when she heard the rumbling argument that came from the castle library.
The tall monarch pushed the thick oak library doors open and peered inside. She saw Twilight, Discord, and Luna argue over the large stacks of books and who had rights to remain in the library. Their loud voices reverberated off the white stone floors and faded ceiling in a cacophony of noise. Celestia sighed with defeat as she was not in the mood to settle another childish argument. It was the third one this week.
The off white-coated princess walked into the library and looked at the clock on the wall. It was nearly eight-thirty in the morning. Celestia crept her way to the large window nearest the arguing group. The three were so deep into their conflicting conversation that they failed to notice her sneak by them.
With her magic, Celestia tugged on the window’s lock and pulled it out of the slot. She then gently pushed the window open. Celestia’s face was greeted with a gentle morning breeze and the chirping of robins in the trees outside. Such a beautiful morning was being wasted by her friends in a petty argument.
Celestia stepped outside through the open window and walked out to the tall blue flag that sat alone between two small trees. She didn’t like the idea of using force to end an argument, but Celestia was short on patience and time today. Her magical levitation uprooted the flag and carried it over to the open library window.
She then waved the blue flag gently back and forth in front of the window.
“Uh, is that the mail carrier’s flag?” Twilight said as she interrupted the heated debate.
A gray, speeding Pegasus mare with a large bag of mail swooped through the open window with all the grace of an eagle. Her glide carried her skillfully between the tall bookshelves, with not one page disturbed in the collection. With a final flap of her wings, the Pegasus came down for a prompt landing.
The mail carrier then collided with an unexpected fortress wall of books.
The Pegasus plowed through the stacks of tomes like a freight train. She barreled over Discord as the draconequus’ fortress toppled like tsunami upon a beach. The Pegasus' mail bag exploded into a fluttering cloud of bills, postcards, and an advertisement for ten percent off window washing services.
This week only.
Celestia peeked into the library window and surveyed the damage. The mail carrier appeared unharmed as she peeled stamps off her nose. Twilight and Luna were huddled behind an overturned table. They picked letters out of their manes and tails one by one. Only Discord’s lion paw poked through the collapsed pile of books that was once his fortress. He waved a tiny white flag in surrender.
“Good morning,” Celestia said sternly, “Discord, please clean up all the books. Luna, be a dear and sort today’s mail before you go to bed. Twilight, use my room for privacy so you can complete that export report.”
Celestia walked away and decided to take a path through the garden to her throne room. She hoped she didn’t have to deal with any more distractions on her way there, mostly because there wasn’t another mail carrier arriving today to make another point with.
The collateral damage was always the most difficult part of these escalations.