The party had ended hours ago, I was wandering outside Ponyville twilight and Luna had gone to the library. I was invited to stay there but I couldn’t. Luna had fallen asleep again, so I took the opportunity to sneak out. I was somewhere between carousel boutique and fluttershys cottage, I couldn’t tell you where exactly. Just somewhere between the two, staring up at the night sky. I wasn’t listening to music for a change; I just sat there listening to the sounds of silence. My own heartbeat filled my ears more than any creature of the night could.
“Finally made it through to Ponyville. Now what?” I wasn’t sure what to do. I almost hoped something would ruin this night, get me moving. Wake me up. I didn’t want to sleep; I wanted to know what to do. I was lost, staring at the night sky. How long had passed I wasn’t sure, the moon was on its decent so I knew it was past midnight. “Oh, well hello!” I sat up to see the Mayor mare looking at me. “Uh… Hi.” She walked over and sat down next to me. “Restless night dear?” I laughed and lay back down on the grass. “Yea, Pretty much. You too?” she was quiet a moment.
“Yes, I’m afraid I may have been wondering where you would fit in inside Ponyville.” I nodded
“You and me both, I figure Applejack or Rarity would offer me a job, but I have none of the skills required for either of those forms of work...” at this point I was looking at my right hand. Had my knuckles always been so...Boney?
“Well... What skills DO you have, perhaps I can help you?” Ah this question. I let my hand fall.
“Well now, I am great at video games, I’m sarcastic, I have no work experience, I’m a pretty good cook, I happen to possess moderate wiring abilities and I’m a pretty good mathematician.” I think I broke her. She took almost ten minutes to answer.
“Well, I’ll admit that doesn’t leave us many options…” Beautiful.
“UGH! If only you people had computers! I could definitely be a computer guy!”
“Sorry, I don’t even know what a computer is!” she laughed. I wanted to cry. Once again I felt fucking useless.
“Thanks mayor. I know you’re trying to help. It’s not like there are many places who would want to hire a human anyway.” I sighed, I had expected this. But still it depressed me.
“You said you’re a good cook?” Of all the useless talents I had in a world of grass eaters, my ability to prepare a steak was being called into question.
“Uh, yes. But not really…Grassy foods.” She laughed.
“You’re a meat eater then?” I’m pretty sure I choked on my own spit.
“What?! No, this is a dream, you’re not real no way ponies would take a meat eater that well.” Again she laughed while I just stared at her.
“We may be grass eaters Eclipse, but we are neither stupid nor entirely innocent, many a creature we care for is carnivorous, like bears for instance.” That made me stop a moment, they DID take care of bears, and bears are carnivores...
“Well, I mean. I’m not straight carnivore, I like meat just fine sure, but I’m an omnivore, I can eat…A lot.” Stupid explanation. But it had the desired effect.
“How about taking care of animals, Fluttershy liked you so you could take care of the meat eating animals she is too sensitive to handle feeding.” Great, so I chop up other animals in order to feed animals.
“That seems…Strangely wrong.” I was rubbing my eyelids. I think sleep is coming. That’s nice.
“Yes, I suppose it is a bit weird... Hmm. Perhaps Aloe and Lotus could use your help...Can you massage? “
I laughed.
“Only human body part I ever massaged was a foot, afraid I don’t have much experience there either.” At this point she was frowning. Thinking way too hard.
“Okay... I want you to come to my office first thing in the morning. Okay?” I just nodded as my eyes began closing themselves. She saw me yawn and stifled a giggle. “See you in the morning then.”
When I awoke the morning was just beginning. “You shouldn’t sneak out of the house.” A turquoise pony blocked my view of the sky; her mane fell onto my face tickling it. “Hey dash, sorry I just...Don’t like sleeping indoors.” I sat up as she moved out of the way.
“You okay?” I yawned and stretched in response.
“Yea, to be honest I’m more worried about you.” She started getting uncomfortable. One shot, better make this count.
“I understand I’m new to town dash, I know you won’t be able to trust me the way you need too immediately. But I wanted to let you know, that no matter what happens, or has happened. I will be here if you need someone to talk too.” She smiled and nodded.
“About how I acted yesterday right?” I laughed.
“And here I thought I was subtle.” I sat there and looked over Ponyville, It was a beautiful place. Shined in the light just right...
“Well, Can we just keep that between us? It would ruin my reputation if someone found out.” I nodded.
“So I’m a special case? You don’t give everypony you wrong a chance to yell at you?” She frowned. I dropped the subject.
“Anyway, I gotta go see the Mayor. Does she have a name?” I laughed.
“Yea, it’s Mare.” And now I was sad.
“Wait, her name is really Mayor Mare?” she nodded.
“Wow. That SUCKS.” Again, she nodded and then started laughing. I stood up and thanked her for the morning talk, and started to head into Ponyville.
I made it about halfway to the Mayors house when pinkie pie stopped me her hair was deflated. “Aww pinkie, what happened to your mane?” I ended up sitting in the grass as she walked up and started rocking me with her hooves.
“You’re a meanie poo-head Eclipse! You ruined my surprise party!” Ohhh that...
“Well isn’t the point of a surprise party to surprise someone?” she nodded and stopped rocking me I want so bad to hug her…
“Then wouldn’t it stand to reason that your surprise party was a success? I’m pretty sure lottsa ponies were surprised by me, and I know one in specific who was very surprised.” I gently poked her in the muzzle. “So I would say all in all your party was a super duper success!” At this her colors brightened a bit.
“But I didn’t surprise you.” And gone again...
“Yes you did, nopony I had talked to that day was near as happy as you were, and the best surprise out of that day was that I made some new and amazing friends, and the one who always makes me smile is sitting right in front of me all sad. That just won’t do.” I immediately swept her into my arms and hugged her.
Her hair exploded in my face, it smelled like cotton candy... After I let her go she had a huge smile on her face. “I didn’t think about it that way! You are right! That party was super-splendiferic and was probably like, my best party EVER! Oh my gosh! I was so sad! Did you see my hair?!” And on and on she went.
I ended up walking to the Mayors house the rest of the way while being besieged by a pink pony, who I often shared a laugh with on the way. I hadn’t thought that my helping her set up the party would make her all... Pinkamena. But thankfully I broke her out of it before she started talking to radishes…Should I tell the girls? Hmm.
“Pinkie.” She kept talking. “Pinkie.” And on. “Muffin!” She immediately stopped “OH MY GOSH WHERE!?” I laughed.
“Pinkie, there is no muffin, I needed you to stop, I have to talk to the mayor now okay?” She smiled and nodded
“Thanks again for talking to me Eclipse! Your tons of fun and you make me feel better when you’re around! It’s really nice!” I nodded and sent her on her way, made her feel better. Like her own little pony therapist. Did such a thing even exist?
I turned and walked into the town hall. It was huge on the outside, easily big enough to hold three to four rooms, but it was just one big circle room on the inside with stairs leading to a second floor which I assumed was the Mayors actual room.
“Ah Eclipse! Come on in!”I could hear the exhaustion in her voice… I walked to the large desk in the center of the room; the walls were lined with books, ledgers and generally other things of the book-type.
“Please take a seat!” I laughed and walked to the desk; looking down on her I sat Indian style in front of it. “So, did you even sleep last night?” I asked while reading some of the papers on her desk, most of them were job listings with certain things highlighted.
Her regular beige colored coat had dulled, she had bags under her eyes and her glasses kept falling off her face.
“Oh no dear, Too much paperwork… Not enough time.” I looked around, the room was a disaster zone, the few cabinets had papers thrown about haphazardly and the few “Clean” areas had layers of dust...
“Right...” So she’s way too intense with her work. That’s not so bad. I looked back to find her eyes closed her mane was a mess and she generally looked overworked… “Nope.” I said standing. I picked her up very gently the most she did was wiggle and adjust a bit, poor girl most likely never took the time to eat.
I carried her up the stairs and my hypothesis was proved right, it was a bedroom, only a single window that looked over Ponyville, a small bed with a table and a lamp next to it were the only furniture in the home. “Either a minimalist or related to my mother...” I set her on the bed and covered her up heading downstairs. “Well... Hmm.” I went and sat at her desk.
“Well… She’s asleep, so… Fuck it.” I went to town on this desk, I went through every single one of her papers, Sorted filed generally everything one can do, it took almost three and a half hours by the clock over her door, but I had the place spotless. I was happy at my work by the time it was all dusted, wiped down and generally clean.
I had organized her filing cabinets in alphabetical form and I even finished some of her more “Taxing” Ahha, Pun. Paper work, the systems they used here were far simpler than humans.
They weren’t trying to undermine each other so everything was very straight forward. Looking through some of the papers the Mayor actually donated large sums of her own money to various places around Ponyville in order to keep the town afloat. These damn ponies care so much.
I ended up just leaving the job listings on her desk next to her-Now complete- paperwork. “Yea... Now she should be able to sleep.” I muttered to myself before simply leaving the office.
Outside it was noon, and it was bright... I shaded my eyes for almost a full minute before they adjusted.
To a white pony with an amazing purple mane standing in front of me. “Hello Rarity.”
“Well hello yourself Eclipse! Are you here to see the mayor as well?” I laughed.
“I’m afraid you’re gonna have to come back later Rarity, she’s sleeping.” Rarity sighed.
“Well darn. I was really hoping she had finished some paperwork I needed her to do. I really need those imports...” I thought for a moment.
“Well, Most of the time where I came from businesses handled their own imports, But if your referring to the various cloth types you ordered about a month back, they should be shipped within the week. Providing it’s a business day.”
Rarity almost keeled over right there from sheer excitement until she realized I was the one who said it.
“Were you…Doing the Mayors paperwork Eclipse?” The fear in her voice should have told me something was wrong.
“Well…Yea, I got her caught up and cleaned. She was months behind on everything.” Rarity again did her over dramatic faint pulling a sofa underneath her.
“You must be a genius! The mayor is the only pony in town who understand all of that political mumbo jumbo! She has been looking for an assistant for years! Even twilight couldn’t figure it all out!” I wasn’t sure what to say at that.
It wasn’t hard, Shit I never filed taxes back home, But I understood it all. And here? It was pretty much a signature and you’re good to go. Everything’s automated.
“It uh, was a bit disorganized. So maybe they were trying to do everything out of order?” I suggested.
That made her stop. Then she got up and the chair disappeared. “Okay, I’m sorry how did you do that?” I was pointing to where the chair was.
“Oh simple dear, Pocket magic. It’s like…A magical bubble that you can store things in, quite useful! And now that you mention it, it is entirely possible that yes, everything WAS out of order... Organized chaos as it were. None the less, Stop by the boutique later today, your suit is fabulous! And ready for you!”
She then trotted off. Pocket magic... Why couldn’t I have been a magic user? *Sigh* I began the trek to Twilights. Should probably apologize to spike… Ugh. Never mind. Food first.