My name is Celeste and I’m lonely.
The day and night are both mine now. I don’t sleep.
I can’t sleep. There simply isn’t time.
I guess I never... appreciated her. What she did, who she was... no. I knew who she was.
I never admitted it to myself -what I knew- until it was too late, clichéd as it seems.
My only salvation comes in my duties.
The monotony of ruling... salvation isn’t the right word. It’s not that.
I try to lose myself in work, really. It doesn’t often work.
I am unprepared for this, just as Discord predicted.
I always expected to have Luna by my side, though.
My thoughts are still clouded from these last years.
The memories don’t exactly fit.
I think I’m trying to block them out; shield myself from the pain.
I just want to be loved.
I just want a family.
My family... nothing is left of what used to be.
The once-great family has fallen.
I am what is left of a long line of divine.
I don’t live up to my history.
I don’t deserve myself.
My name, my history, my family.
The thoughts of all that weight on me...
I’m crumbling, too.
I won’t last long under all this pressure.
I don’t have help, no one is here for me.
My parents- dead.
The moments I shared with them are dead, too.
I still listen to my momma.
I still try.
I am not sure if she would be proud of me today.
My uncle- gone.
The thin veil of his rulership has been burned.
I am much stronger than he was.
I am much better than he was.
I still can’t let go of all he’s said to me.
My sister... Luna, oh Luna.
The thoughts of her nag me, beg me for my attention, yet I push them away.
I still love her.
I am fighting, ruling, all for her.
I am not sure if I can do this with or without her.
My daily decisions seem to be too weighty.
The frivolous -what to eat, to wear- seem monumental.
I am pressured to make them, and I just can’t.
I feel so isolated, so misunderstood.
I am inclined to pass it off as teenage angst.
My mind tells me it isn’t.
The feelings I have- what are they, truly?
I can’t be sure.
I don’t know if I ever will be. At least, not for a while.
I wish I could. It would make life simpler.
My very being aches for a time of inner peace.
The events and people that shaped my world have caused eternal turmoil.
I loathe my past, yet embrace it.
I want normality, same as I always have.
I just can’t do this.
My name is Celeste and I’m lonely.