Twilight was sitting in her library, waiting for Spike to return. “I better get the tissues ready. Poor Spike...”
“I really hope that Rarity lets him down gently.” Twilight got up from where she had been sitting and began pacing around the library. “Well, this is Rarity; she will be sure to handle it in a ‘Ladylike Fashion’ as she would say. Still though, the way that Spike has been lately, I can’t see him being too calm, no matter what she does.” Twilight gave a nervous little laugh. “Oh, what am I thinking? There is no chance that Rarity would ever seriously consider being with Spike like that. In fact, I would give up my books for a week if that actually did happen.” She finished saying this just as Spike walked in the door.
“What was that, Oh Brainy One? I could have sworn you were having doubts about Rarity dating me?” Spike accused, anger flaring in his eyes. “My best friend, someone I’ve looked up to for years, spends her time being sarcastic about my feelings behind my back.”
Twilight’s eyes, however, were wide with shock. She knew she had hurt him, and from the angry look in his eyes, she had hurt him badly.
Spike stood with his arms crossed, an angry and hurt expression on his face. “Y’know, I was coming over here all happy, thinking that you were the first one that I wanted to tell my good news, thinking how excited I was to tell you what me and Rarity talked about, and what do I come home to? You, mocking the very thing that I was looking forward to telling you about.” Spike snorted in anger, smoke and flame emitting from his nostrils.
Twilight's face went from being in shock, to being mortified. One thought flashed through her mind:
DAMAGE CONTROL!
“Spike, I’m so sorry. You know how I get sometimes when I start over-analyzing things. My brain speaks on it's own sometimes when I get like that. I am so, so sorry. Can you ever forgive me?” Twilight got down on her knees, a pleading look on her face. “Please Please Please Please?”
Spike just stood there, arms crossed, and eyes narrowed.
Twilight inched forward, until she was at Spike’s feet. Placing her hooves on Spike’s feet she begged, “Please? I will never say anything like that again. I promise.”
At this, Spike burst out laughing. He laughed so hard tears rolled down his face, and he leaned on Twilight’s back for support. Spike continued to laugh, holding his sides with his claws. This continued for awhile, until his laughter devolved into giggling. He stood up, wiped the tears from his eyes, and looked down at Twilight, for whom all brain function seemed to have have shut down. Spike, still giggling, started to speak. “Hee hee, Twilight, sorry, hee, I couldn’t resist, hee heh, I had to do it, hah heh, you should see the look on your face, heh hah, right now. It’s priceless!”
Twilight blinked once, then twice. Slowly, she got to her hooves, trying to hide the blush on her face with a look of anger. “Spike, that isn’t a very nice thing to do.” She glared up at the dragon, the effect slightly lessened by his height. “What do you have to say for yourself?”
Spike looked at Twilight in amusement, letting out a chuckle. “Twilight, I’m not a little kid anymore. That won’t work on me.” Still, the lavender unicorn persisted, giving the not-so-little dragon her patented librarian stare. Minutes passed, with Spike shifting uncomfortably, Twilight staring him down with her most powerful glare, before he finally backed down.
“Ok, ok Twilight, I’m sorry. Jeez, I just wanted to have a little fun with you is all...” Twilight smiled, reaching up to pat Spike’s knee with a hoof.
“So, I take it Rarity had something good to tell you...?” Twilight asked, sneakily hiding the tissues with a burst of her magic.
Spike’s face lit up at the mention of his love. “How do I put this...?”
“ ... And she said that we both need to heal and grow. She told me that she wants me to be sure that it is her that I want to be with.” Spike looked at Twilight with a serious expression on his face, as if the words he were about to speak were painful. “I don’t know that I love her like I used to. I mean, I love her, I really do, but... I... the feelings I have for her now have changed from the feelings I had for her even two years ago. I look at her, and I see the mare I have loved for years, but I also see the mare that never really took me seriously. That hurts, no matter how you slice it.” Spike looked down, tears dripping down his face.
Twilight silently put a hoof on Spike’s shoulder, not knowing what to say.
“I spent ten years of my life on her, Twilight. I mean... I just... It hurts. It hurts a lot.” Spike started to sob, the emotion becoming too much for him.
Twilight waited until Spike stopped sobbing. “Have you thought maybe Rarity, as much as you love her, is not the one for you?”
Spike wiped his eyes, and looked at Twilight, an odd look on his face. “I have thought of that Twilight. I really have. There is actually somepony besides Rarity that I love. Not quite as much as I do Rarity, but I could see me and her being very happy together. The thing is though, every time I think about going after somepony other than Rarity, I can’t.”
Twilight cocked her head in confusion. “Can’t? What do you mean Spike?”
“I mean, I can’t. It’s like there is something stopping me from pursuing anypony other than Rarity, and the more I try to fight it, the more it seems that my fixation on Rarity grows.” Spike growled in frustration. “Why can’t love ever be simple?”
Twilight looked at him thoughtfully. “Spike, who else do you have feeling for besides Rarity?”
“Promise not to laugh?”
“Promise.”
Spike leaned in, and took a breath. “Pinkie Promise?”
“Do I really need to do that? I said I won’t laugh, and I won’t.”
Spike just gave her a look.
“Sigh... Fine. I Pinkie Promise that I won’t laugh.”
“Okay.” Spike took another, deeper breath. “Fluttershy.”
Twilight cocked her ear. “What’d you say?”
Spike breathed in, and then out. “Fluttershy.”
“Spike, you are going to have to speak up.”
“I said I like Fluttershy, okay?”
“See, that wasn’t so ha- Wait, did you just say Fluttershy?”
Spike gave Twilight a look. “What? What’s so surprising about that? Fluttershy is the first pony here in Ponyville that showed a genuine interest in me. Remember how excited she became when she first met me? Not to mention the fact that she is the kindest, most gentle pony I know. It doesn’t hurt either that she’s pretty cute. Is it really so strange that I have feelings for her?”
“Well, I guess not. I just would have expected you to be more attracted to somepony like Rainbow Dash, or even Pinkie Pie.”
“Why?” Spike asked with a questioning look.
“The fact that both of them are outgoing and pranksters. I figured they would be more appealing to you then somepony as quiet as Fluttershy.”
“Yeah, it surprises me too. I’m not quite sure what it is, but I know that I like her, no, love her. Besides, she is nowhere near as shy as she used to be. Remember that prank that she pulled on Pinkie Pie a few years ago?” Spike asked with a nostalgic smile.
Twilight smiled as well. “Yeah I remember. Those buckets of water attached to the balloons? That was hilarious!”
Spike shuffled his feet nervously. “So, yeah... I have had feelings for Fluttershy for some time now, but like I said, I can’t seem to let go of Rarity. Not saying that I want to do that, but still. I’m not sure what I want to do right now. Maybe I should go talk to Fluttershy about my feelings towards her. I know I’d like to, even if nothing comes of it.”
“Spike, I think you should do what you want to do, and if what you want to do is talk to Fluttershy, then I say go for it. Nothing good comes of keeping things bottled up. You should know that from experience.” Twilight took a deep breath. “You aren’t a child anymore. You have to take care of yourself. No one else is going to live for you. You have to go out and do that, Spike, you have not been doing that for quite some time, now. Am I wrong?”
Spike looked away, biting his lip.
“I know that you love Rarity, and have for quite some time.” Twilight said. “I watched you grow up, Spike. I watched you grow from a cute and naive little dragon, to a young adult dragon, who has spent the last decade of his life trying to impress a pony that, as both of you said, never took you seriously. You need to take the time to really think about, and search inside yourself, what you want to do, and who you want to be with. Find someone who will truly appreciate you, for you.”
Twilight reached out of hoof, drawing Spike’s face back towards her.
Spike, with tears in his eyes, said, “Thanks, Twilight. You always know what to say to cheer me up, and to set me straight.”
Twilight chuckled. “You don’t read as much as I do without learning a thing or two. Now, young dragon, I believe you have something that you need to take care of. And this time, go do it for you.”
Spike ran a claw over his eyes. “Thanks again Twilight. I’ll see you later, hopefully with more good news.”
Twilight gave Spike a smile and a shove. “Go on, get going. You have somepony that you need to talk to, and that pony isn’t me.” Twilight took on a more somber expression. “Just remember Spike, do what you do for you. Okay?”
“I will. Oh, and Twilight?”
“Yes Spike?”
Spike looked at Twilight with mirth in his eyes. “Don’t forget, You have to give up your books. I am holding you to that.” Spike stuck his tongue out and winked at Twilight as he walked out the door.
All that could be heard from the library as Spike walked away from it, was the sound of one very distraught unicorn.
______________________________________________________________________________
Rarity was sitting in her bedroom, her conversation with Spike running through her mind in an endless loop. Her face was scrunched up and drawn tight, her stress evident on her face. Contrary to the way that she had held her emotions in check earlier, Rarity was anything but calm on the inside. The torrent of anguish, anxiety, and anger threatened to completely overtake her: Rarity was visibly shaking due to the force of the emotion running through her.
She looked over at the item that had given her hope for the last nine years. The red glow from the Fire Ruby normally filled Rarity with peace, but as she looked at it now, it only compounded her grief.
Rarity gazed at the Ruby, as if seeking answers. It just glowed its soft glow, as if to say, “You know what needs to be done.”
Rarity rubbed her head with her hooves. Her horn lit up as she levitated a piece a blank piece of paper onto her drawing board. A pencil whipped around in a frenzy, as she was drawn into a creative fervor, fueled by the emotions welling up inside her. The pencil went back and forth, in every direction, up and down, left and right, crossways and sideways, until Rarity stepped back, slightly out of breath. Looking at what she drew for the first time, she gasped, the pencil falling from her magical grasp. For on the paper was not a dress or suit, nor was it any type of clothing. No, the image was that of Spike.
Spike in this drawing was not Spike in real life. Spike, although the biggest resident of Ponyville, was more lanky in build, rather than buff. Spike in the drawing was reminiscent of his old daydreams. In the picture he was tall, stocky, and built like a tank. Rarity stared at it in awe, blushing as she noticed that she had drawn Spike with particular attention to his nether regions.
Dear Celestia, is that really how I see him? It must be, or I would not have drawn this, but still...
Her eyes were drawn back to the picture. Specifically, his nether regions. Her cheeks reddened deeper than a tomato.
What in the name of all things ladylike is wrong with me? That is hardly proper. Although... No Rarity. Get a hold of yourself. That is not what you need to be focused on right now.
With a massive effort of will power, Rarity forced her thoughts away from her baser desires, and looked back at the drawing, this time avoiding certain areas. It would be a shame to simply throw this away though. This certainly cannot be seen by anypony else. I would never live down the shame.
The drawing moved in Rarity’s telekinetic hold, as she placed it behind her pillow for safekeeping. Her bed moved, as she got under the covers and laid down. Maybe some beauty sleep is all I need to get my mind back to normal. That, and a nice cup of tea when I wake up. Rarity drifted off to sleep, Spike, and the drawing racing through her mind.
______________________________________________________________________________
Spike wandered through the afternoon hustle and bustle of Ponyville, moseying around in an attempt to clear his head. Not paying attention to where he was going, he went right past the Carousel Boutique. Spike skidded to a halt, as he looked at the building, his thoughts filled with the mare inside.
What do I do now? I know what both Twilight and Rarity both said is true, but where do I go from here? I’m so confused. Rarity said that I need to make sure it is her that I want to be with, and Twilight said that I need to live my life for myself. How do I do either of those things?
Spike stood across the street from Rarity’s shop, staring at the dark windows.
Should I go talk to Rarity one more time? I want to talk to her. What could it hurt? Spike crossed the street, and knocked on the front door.
______________________________________________________________________________
Rarity awoke to the sound of knocking at her door. Yawning, she rolled over, levitated a hair brush to her mane, and got out of bed. Getting to the bottom of the stairs, she opened the door, starting in surprise at who was at her front door. “Spike, what are you doing here? I wasn’t expecting to see you, or I would have gotten myself better prepared.”
Spike grinned sheepishly. “Sorry Rarity. It’s just that with what we talked about, and what Twilight told me, I’m kinda confused. I don’t know what to do.”
Rarity looked at Spike in concern. “Well, why don’t you come in. Standing on the stoop of one’s residence is hardly the place for a conversation.” Rarity turned and walked back into her shop, with Spike following behind her. Rarity levitated her favorite couch over, and sat down. “Come, Spike, have a seat.” Spike sat on the opposite end of the couch. “So, Spike, what seems to be troubling you?”
Spike leaned forward, his claws intertwined with each other. “Well, I know that I just talked to you this morning and all, but after I talked to you, I went and talked to Twilight. I told her all about our conversation, and what you told me.”
Rarity sighed. “Spike, don’t you think that our conversation should have remained private? What we talked about was highly personal, for both of us.” Rarity shook her head. Spike looked at Rarity, a puzzled look on his face.
“What is the big deal? I mean, it’s Twilight, your best friend, and my sister in all but blood.”
“Well, I just don’t want ponies knowing about what we talked about is all. I mean, would you want just anypony to know about our conversation?” Rarity looked at Spike with a neutral expression on her face, as if to test his reaction.
Spike looked down. “No... I guess you’re right.”
A fleeting smile passed over Rarity’s face . “Well, at least it was only Twilight. So, what did she have to say?”
Spike drew in a breath. “She said that it is time for me to start living my life for me. That I haven’t been doing that at all.”
Rarity frowned, a sad look on her face. “I am much to blame for that, Spike.”
“I know, but still. It doesn’t really matter who’s to blame. That’s really not the point. Twilight is right. I haven’t been living for me. I’ve been living for you, and that hasn’t been fair to either of us.”
Rarity scooted over to Spike, and laid a hoof around his shoulders. “What else did she have to say, Spike?”
“She asked me if I had ever thought about being with anypony other than you.”
Rarity leaned away from Spike, her face becoming dead serious. “Have you, Spike?”
Spike turned, shifting his gaze away. “Yeah...”
“If you don’t mind me asking, who?” On the outside, Rarity was calm and collected, but inside a pressure was slowly building, right along the edges of her eyes.
Spike clutched his claws together, nervously rubbing them. “Well, I.. uh... don’t really know if that’s such a good idea... I mean, I wouldn’t want you to--”
“Oh come on, Spike, you can tell me. Everypony has thought of being with somepony other than the one they care for. It won’t hurt my feelings, I promise.” Rarity flashed Spike her biggest smile, the pressure inside slowly ratcheting up another notch.
“Uh... Well I don’t think that she would... That is, I don’t know if it would be good, I wouldn’t want it to get between you two...”
“Oooh... between us? It’s one of the girls?” Spike’s eyes shot wide open before zeroing in on a spot on the floor, as far from Rarity’s eyes as they could get.
“Hehe, why would you say that?” Spike asked, berating himself for letting something slip.
“Well, you said it yourself. You don’t want it to come between us, so it must be somepony we both know and care about.”
“Y-Yeah, I guess I did, huh?” Rarity got down on her hooves, walking around until she could lift Spike’s face with one, staring him right in the eyes.
“Come on Spikey-Wikey, you can tell me. Please?” Rarity batted her eyelashes, giving Spike a reassuring smile.
“It’s um, it’s Fluttershy...” Spike mumbled.
“What, darling? I didn’t hear you.” That wasn’t totally true, but Rarity wanted to make absolutely sure. “Say again, Spike, and please, speak up.”
“It... it’s Fluttershy...”
Rarity was almost positive she heard correctly, but it’s best to make sure. After all, she didn’t want to jump to any conclusions. “Once more?”
Spike swallowed hard, suddenly unable to keep his mouth from being dry. “F-Fluttershy....” He tore his gaze from Rarity’s, cringing as if afraid of being slapped, but the blow never came. Spike opened his eyes to see Rarity passed out on the floor in a dead faint.
______________________________________________________________________________
Rarity woke slowly, dizziness filling her head. “Ohhhhhhhhhh, what happened?” As Rarity’s head cleared, she saw that she was lying in her bed, the covers draped over her neatly. Rarity looked at the end of her bed, and saw Spike facing away from her.
“Spike, what are you doing in my room? What are you doing here?”
Spike turned at the sound of her voice. “Uh, don’t you remember what happened?” Spike looked at Rarity curiously.
Rarity scrunched up her face. “The last thing I remember is laying down to take a-- “
She paused. “Wait,” Rarity continued a second later, “didn’t you come over and talk to me--”
She sighed and put her face in her hooves. “Please don’t tell me I remember you telling me what I think you told me.” Spike just stared at Rarity, unable to form any words.
Rarity took her head from her hooves, her head turned down and to her right. Biting her lip, she said, ”I was afraid of that...” Spike came over to the side of the bed, kneeling down to Rarity’s eye level. “I thought you said that you wanted me to make sure that I really wanted to be with you?” Spike questioned, a puzzled look on his face.
Rarity looked up at Spike, her eyes watering. “I did say that, and I meant what I said.”
“But?”
“But, that has no bearing about I feel about you. Yes, I want you to be with whomever you are happiest with. That does not mean that I don’t love you.” Rarity looked at Spike, tears flowing freely down her face. “I love you Spike. No matter who you choose, or what you choose to do, I will always love you. Even if you don’t choose me, I want you to know that I will always be there for you.” Spike cupped Rarity’s face in one claw, and kissed her on top of her head. Rarity looked up, staring at Spike in wonder and amazement.
“Thanks, Rarity. That means a lot to me.”
Rarity sniffed. “Think nothing of it dear. Now, I do believe that you have a pegasus you need to talk to?” Spike started to speak, but Rarity cut him off. “Not another word, Spike. Go talk to her.” Spike simply nodded, started to walk off, and turned back.
“Thanks again, Rarity.” Spike gave her a warm smile, before walking out the door.
Rarity sighed as she walked back to her room. As she came to her bed, she brought her drawing out from behind her pillow, looking at it wistfully. Fresh tears started running down her face, as she held the picture to her chest. Oh, Spike. I love you so much... Please... Come back to me...
______________________________________________________________________________
Fluttershy was sitting on her couch in her cottage going over the latest reports from her patients. Over the years, her skill with animals and her willingness to treat any and all illnesses from a simple cold to something as bad as a broken bone had led to her home becoming the most visited veterinary clinic in Ponyville.
She had just finished reading through the latest charts on a young bird with a fractured wing when she heard a knocking on her door. I wonder who that could be... she wondered to herself as she fluttered over to the door and opened it with a hoof. “Oh, hi Spike. What can I do for you?”
Spike took a deep breath. “Well, there is something that I want to talk to you about. Are you busy?”
Fluttershy backed up to let Spike in. “Not at all. Come on in, Spike. Make yourself at home. Would you like some tea?”
Spike gave Fluttershy a smile. “I would love some tea. Thank you, Fluttershy.”
“Give me just a second, and I will be right back.” Fluttershy said as she went into the kitchen, moving her numerous papers so Spike could sit down.
Spike sat down on the couch as he waited for Fluttershy. That right there is what attracted me to her in the first place. She’s not Rarity, but she is the kindest pony I know, and she has always taken time to spend with me, even when she was busy with her work.
Fluttershy came back into the living room a couple of minutes later, bearing two cups of tea. “Spike? The tea is done.” Fluttershy waved a wing in front of Spike’s glazed over face. “Helloooooo? Anydragon home?” Spike snapped out of his reverie, looking up at Fluttershy with a goofy grin on his face.
“Oh, sorry about that, Fluttershy. I was just daydreaming. Thanks for the tea. It smells really good.”
Fluttershy giggled, and sat down across from Spike. “It must have been a pretty good daydream, for you to be that out of it.”
You have no idea, your royal cuteness.
Fluttershy took a sip of her tea. “So, what did you want to talk to me about?
Spike took a breath. “This has to stay between me and you, okay?”
Fluttershy gave a little nod.
“Well, Rarity had Twilight send me over to her Boutique earlier today. When I got over there, she wanted to talk to me about my feelings for her.”
Fluttershy sat up straighter. “Really, what did she say?”
The pegasus just listened as Spike talked, occasionally nodding her head, or asking a quick question. When Spike had finished speaking, she stood up, and put a wing around him.
“That must have been hard to hear, Spike. But what does that all have to do with me?”
Spike leaned forward, took a deep breath, and said. “What it has to do with you, Fluttershy, is that... that... I... love you too.”
Fluttershy withdrew her wing, and took a step back, shock plain on her features.
Spike winced, as if something was hurting him, but continued talking. “I love Rarity, but with what has happened between me and her, I just don’t know. I know that she told me to make sure that it is her that I want to be with. I would like to see what could happen between me and you... If you’d be okay with that, that is.” At these words, Spike started to twitch and shake uncontrollably.
Fluttershy looked at Spike with deep concern in her eyes. “Are you okay Spike? You look like you’re having a seizure or something.”
Spike looked at Fluttershy through glassy eyes, as if he were seeing her from far away.
Why do you persist in this folly young one? You cannot be with her, nor does it matter how much you love her.
Who... are... you? Why... can’t... I... be... with... Fluttershy?
You need not know who I am, save for the fact that I am a part of you, and a part of the Dragon race as a whole. As for your other question, that is something that I cannot tell you, save for one thing. If you truly desire to be with her, you will have to not only overcome yourself, but you will have to do something that only one other dragon has ever done. You will have to die.
Please... tell... me... your... name...
If you must call me anything, call me GoldHeart. You have a long path in front of you, young one, with many ways you could take. Not all of them end in happiness, and many of them end in despair for you. The final thing I will say is this: be very careful who you give your heart to.
Now, young one, you must sleep. Sleep, and dream. Dream of ages long past. Dream of the choices made in the name of “Love.” And then, you must make a choice. You must decide if your “Love” is worth giving up yourself for. I shall be watching, young dragon. Choose wisely...
Fluttershy fluttered around in a frenzy, as Spike fainted, going into a realm of dreams and visions.