Subject #126

by Neon Venue

The Grind

Test Tube gently woke as the music drifted around the room. The A.I. immediately activated, turning on all the lights and shutting off the music once Test's brainwaves registered conscious.

"Good morning, my liege. You have two appointments today. Would you like to schedule anything?"

The rough whine of the A.I.'s female voice thrashed against Test's eardrums, causing his usual early-morning headache to smash it's being into the side of his head. "No, Symmetry, that will be all. Can you tone down your volume, though?"

"As you wish."

Symmetry's volume turned down to a more natural level. The lights dimmed as well. Obviously the A.I. had picked up on it's owner's displeasure and attempted to help. Why do A.I. have to seem so sentient? Test smiled at it's thoughtfulness as he climbed out of bed, throwing the blue covers wherever he pleased. They sat for a second before beginning to move, their shape realigning itself to the bed. It was so interesting how magnetism could be used to complete menial tasks nopony wanted to do, like making one's bed. Test chuckled at the sight, as it never ceased to amuse him.

As Test trotted across the room, electric blue pulses emitting from his hooves and spreading out on the floor panels. He flicked his front hoof over the closet panels, the sensors recognizing his coat color and opening. Inside were all his personal belongings and supplies. Test ignored most of the other object, choosing to take his favorite goggles and lab coat.

The goggles were some of the most advanced in the world, sporting heat sensors and night vision. The lenses were tinted the same color as his coat. Test snapped them over his eyes, covering their entirety. He always wore his goggles, even when he wasn't doing test or experiments. His bright, rose-colored eyes contrasted the rest of him so much that it often startled people. When he had joined the division, he always got comments on his eyes. He eventually got sick of it, and just decided to hide his eyes.

Test threw on his lab coat, wrapping it around himself and pulling his I.D. card from the pocket. He hung it around his neck, and made his way to the door. Activating the keypad on the door with magic, he typed in his door code. "1114." Test smiled as he remembered that it was his birthday today. Twenty-two is a good age to have a steady job and a large savings account.

The door slid open, leading into a long white hallway. Test stepped out and stood in front of his door as it slid closed behind him. He looked to the side, watching the rest of his fellow employees and co-workers step into the hall way and do the same as him. The door next to his and slid open. An older stallion stepped out from his room and turned his head to look at Test.

"Hey, Upkeep."

"Morning, Test. You stay up all night working on those darn P.M.D.'s again?" Upkeep spoke with a gruff tone, his mustache getting in the way of his words.

"No, I think I got to bed at a reasonable time..." Test replied, looking at the ground and kicking a hoof in embarrassment.

"And what time would that be?"

"...four."

Upkeep laughed loudly before shaking his head. "You're going to just collapse one day..."

"What about you? You're always up doing... janitor stuff and-!"

Test was interrupted as the ground underneath them began to move towards the double-doors at the end of the hallway. "Well, back to the grind." Upkeep sighed to himself. Upkeep and Test Tube passed through the double-doors and into the huge chamber behind them. Once they were a considerable distance from the door, the ground stopped moving. Test looked around at all the other ponies, some looking bored and others looking nervous. Test chuckled to himself and turned to Upkeep. "Well, I'll see you around. Gotta greet the mincemeat."

Upkeep waved as he and four other people walked towards another door, heading for the supply area. He had been here for more than ten years, taking extreme care of the facility as the head janitor. Some people joke that he's had been there to witness it's opening. Those rumors were fabricated, of course, seeing how the facility had opened up almost twelve hundred years ago.

Test Tube left his place amongst the employess and strode up to the front of the room. As he did, a podium had begun to rise out of the floor. Test made his way behind it once it had risen to it's full height. He cleared his throat and begun his weekly speech for the new test subjects.

"Welcome, new employees! My name is Test Tube. I lead most of the projects for the Equestrian Warfare division here at the Canterlot Underground Research Facility. You have all been selected to become trials for a project we have been working on. Here is what we plan to create."

At this time a large screen dropped from the ceiling and a projector faded to life. On the screen was a large vial filled with a viscous, rainbow-colored liquid. The serum seemed to glow off the screen.

"This, my friends, is what rainbows are made of. Imagine taking twenty to thirty rainbows and forcing them into a jar. All of the energy of a rainbow at the tip of your hooves. What we attain to do here at C.U.R.F.E.W. is harness the power of concentrated rainbow and use it to protect Equestria. We have been studying for quite some time now, and we have learned that if we can get it successfully matched with a pony's DNA, it will grant them some of the abilities of Celestia herself!"

Test laughed loudly, not to encourage the test subject, but more because he knew he wasn't lying. If they could really do this, it would in fact yield those exact results. The speed of the sun goddess, the stamina of an Alicorn, the magical strength of Celestia herself. But if they could do it, they would have already. Researching the same subject for more than three years proved that progress, for now, was at a stand still. The solution? Keep testing, obviously!

"Now, all of you share a common trait. Your DNA resembles something close to what our calculation's say is a perfect match. We will test certain ways of introducing you to the rainbow, whether hidden or not. You all volunteered, so you know the risks." A bold pony in the back raised his hoof. "Yes?"

The stallion stood up and and spoke loudly. "Why does everything seem so... futuristic here?"

"Ah, good question, my good stallion! See, here at C.U.R.F.E.W., Celestia has provided us with the most technologically advanced- well, technologically advanced everything! We are eons ahead of current Equestrian society. Celestia has decided to keep them in the dark about these kinds of things, but it is for their own happiness. After all..." Test smiled softly at the crowd. "Ignorance is bliss. Now, all of you, please watch this orientation video and report to your respective experiment rooms."

The video began to play, and Test walked away from the front of the crowd. Today was going to be a long day...

Upkeep was covered in blood, from head to hoof.

They had only begun testing six hours ago, and yet somepony had already died. It wasn't a new record, but hey, he wasn't complaining. The pony had exploded suddenly. Literally exploded. The only thing that showed that there was a pony even there was the mutilated, torn up carcass in the center of the puddle. It's chest cavity was completely open, the ribs spiking out at different angles but all pointing in the same direction. There weren't any organs in it's abdomen. No, sir! Those are up on the wall and the ceiling! Upkeep hummed to himself as he mopped up the blood in front of him. He even paused to draw a smiley-face in the puddle, laughing at the way it came out. Luckily he was alone and-

"What the BUCK is wrong with you..."

Nevermind. Upkeep turned on his heels to find another janitor pony, much younger than he was. "Ah, Brush Off. What can I do for you, my friend?" Brush was staring at Upkeep with a horrified expression. He had just joined recently, and was still new to the job.

"H-How can you be so happy around so much death? I've already puked like, four times!" Brush whimpered.

Upkeep laughed loudly. "If you've been here as long as I have, you learn how to amuse yourself."

Brush turned his back on Upkeep, walking away and muttering something about 'these crazy old ponies'. Upkeep called out after him, but Brush ignored the senior janitor.

"Hey Brush! I didn't know your name meant two things!" Upkeep chuckled before turning his attention back to the work at hand.