At Least I'm Not Dead
My nightmares were different this time as I slept, and I was fairly thankful for it. The malevolent, omnipotent being with the blood red eyes was starting to get a little stale to be honest, so I was glad that my subconscious had moved onto other horrific images to terrify me at my weakest moments. This time, I was being torn apart by strange creatures, all of which had the body of a wolf, but had the head of some other random animal. One creature ad the head of a lion, another had the head of a chicken, and the other had the head of a horse. Unfortunately, I wasn’t allowed to die I this particular night terror, so I was forced to watch a multitude of spliced mutants slowly devoured me.
Needless to say, I wasn’t in the right state of mind when I finally woke up gasping and in a cold sweat. My vision flashed painfully as a light near the bed I was laying on shined directly in my eyes, and I squeezed my eyes shut. I lay where I was, panting, tired, and now that I had accidentally thrown the covers off of me, cold.
“Wait a minute…bed…covers…pillow…I’m sensing an inconsistency here. Wasn’t I just in a forest?” I thought to myself slowly as realization dawned on me. I was laying in a comfortable bed, I had my head on a slightly scratchy mattress, and I was covered with a what felt like a wool blanket.
With my eyes still closed, I smiled and sighed.
“Finally.” I thought with satisfaction. “Finally that damn dream is over. I’m back in my bed in my cheap apartment, I’m safe and sound, and I can finally stop being afraid.”
I slowly opened my eyes to gradually get them used to the light. My vision was blurry, so I waited for it to clear.
“That was an incredibly realistic dream.” I mused. The sounds of the animals, the crisp smells of the forest, the pain of the injuries that I had sustained, they were so lifelike that it felt like I was actually there. I could even remember everything that happened in vivid detail unlike in most dreams that are halfway forgotten as soon as you wake up.
My eyes finally adjusted, and I frowned as I lay on my back and looked at the ceiling over me.
“That’s not my ceiling.” I thought aloud. The surface above me was made of what looked like a dark type of wood. The ceiling in my apartment was made with whatever bargain bin material the builders could find at the time. Probably paper mache or something.
I wrinkled my brow in confusion, propped myself up on my elbows to get a good look at my surroundings. All of a sudden, I became aware of several different things at once as I realized that I hadn’t just woken up from a dream where I was being chased through the forest for the better half of a day. I was either still in that dream, or it wasn’t a dream at all.
The first thing I became aware of was a burning pain in my side as I moved, making me gasp in sudden pain. When the pain subsided, I looked around and became aware of a second thing, which was that I wasn’t in my apartment, or in my own bed. The wall directly next to me was decorated with a multitude of frightening, albeit colourful masks of grinning animals and snarling demons. The bed I was in was also about a foot too short for my body, resulting in my feet hanging of the edge.
The third and most important thing I became aware of was that I was not alone. I heard a bit of a hasty scuffling noise to the right of me, and my head snapped in that direction to see whoever was in the immediate vicinity.
Or whatever was in my immediate vicinity. I didn’t know what it was that I was looking at, but I knew that it was something that I wouldn’t consider to be worthy of the term “whoever,” as that word usually conjures up the image of a human being. What was staring at me from what looked like the interior of a very small and very rustic one room house was definitely not a human being.
It was sitting at a small wooden table with a steaming clay mug in front of it. It was staring back at me as I stared at it. Neither of us moved as we looked at each other.
My first instinct was to, of course, panic. Say what you will, but I’m pretty sure that if you were in the same situation of being in a strange bed in a strange house being watched by a strange person that wasn’t even a person, you would panic too.
That instinct was driven back however when a small rational part of my mind recognized the creature. I faintly remembered laying on a forest floor, watching through a thick and pungent haze as an equine type creature fought off a group of vicious wolves. I also remembered catching a glimpse of the details of that particular creature as it walked towards me moments before I passed out. As I looked at it, I was able to determine that the thing sitting at the table, sipping at what looked to be tea, was the same creature that saved my life.
And so I decided to do the chivalrous thing and not wet myself in fear as the creature slowly stood up from the table and walked towards me. I did however recoil slightly from her movement, sending another burst of pain running up my chest. I winced and whimpered slightly as I clutched at my side.
It stopped approaching me as its eyes widened. It shrunk back slightly and started to speak in a low voice, one that somebody would use to calm a wild animal.
My eyes widened in surprise as the thing started to speak softly, cooing at me like I was a frightened deer or rabbit. The shock that this thing was speaking almost knocked me unconscious yet again. I strained to hear what she was saying, as the voice was most definitely female, but I found the language to be completely unidentifiable. Woven within the thread of her words, I could hear an occasional whinny that sounded as though it was actually part of the language.
I’m not the most culturally diverse guy around, but I can say with certainty that there isn’t a human language that uses whinnying in its vocabulary. This realization only gave me more questions alongside “How did I get in a forest?” and “No seriously, why is there a lion in this forest?”
Despite the weirdness of the situation, what with what could very well be an alien trying to calm me down from an anxiety attack, her mutterings still managed to soothe my nerves somewhat. My heavy breathing slowed down slightly, and my eyes stopped flickering around the room, desperately looking for an exit. Instead, I was looking at her with the most profound confusion I had ever had the misfortune of experiencing.
The equine, which I now noticed was very similar looking to a zebra with the stripes in her hair and mane, reached the edge of my bed. I still had my eyes locked on her, and she was still muttering to me like the frightened animal I probably was to her. Ever so slowly, she raised a foreleg and laid it gently on my arm, which I couldn’t help but tense in nervousness.
The zebra softly patted my arm in a reassuring manner. My eyes flicked from her leg to her face, and I started to calm down. The way I figured, someone (or in this case, something) wouldn’t by all gentle and patient with me if they didn’t have any intention to hurt me. With the way she was acting, she almost looked like she was acting motherly towards me in a creepy, “I’m not gonna murder you, so please don’t murder me.” kind of way.
Now that I was calmed, something that she had noticed when she gave me a small smile, I became aware of one final thing about my situation. Namely, that my…sensitive bits were a little bit more sensitive then they normally would be under a woolen blanket. I quickly lifted up my blanket and discovered to my chagrin that I was completely naked under it.
Completely naked if you didn’t count the bandages scattered over my body that it. All over my body, on my stomach, legs, arms, everywhere I looked, there was a bandage or wrapping. I realized that they were applied to places where I had scraped or cut myself in the forest, and I realized that this gentle zebra must have been the one to apply them.
I drew my attention away from my damaged flesh and back to the zebra creature with a new kind of interest. She was looking at me expectantly with a hint of what looked like worry on her face.
I opened and closed my mouth a few times like a fish out of water before finally finding my voice. “Thank you.” I said quietly.
The zebras ears perked at my voice, and although she didn’t understand my words, I think she understood my meaning, because she gave me a small smile and a humble nod of her head. Then to my surprise, the zebra reached over and started to remove wool blanket from my body.
I reacted as most people would, that is to say, with surprise. I gave a quiet yelp and pulled back the covers before she could remove them from my midsection, but that only caused the zebra to look at me disapprovingly before sternly shaking her head. She more tugged at the blanket more forcefully, and in my weakened state, I wasn’t able to resist. With a final tug, she revealed my naked body in all of its glory.
My face burned red in embarrassment, but the zebra payed my face no mind as she moved to the end of my bed. She moved a foreleg up to my leg, and put a slight amount of pressure right above my foot before looking back at my face to gauge my reaction. When I only looked back at her blankly, my face still red, she moved to my other leg and repeated the action, again looking back at my face.
She moved up both of my legs, applying slight pressure before looking back at me and moving to another spot. I only sat there in complete confusion until it finally dawned on me.
“She’s checking for internal injuries.” The small, rational part of my mind chirped. I realized that she wouldn’t have been able to tell if I was internally injured just from the look of me on the outside, and with me being unconscious, there was no way she could have known.
Now that I realized was that problem was, I decided to help her along her way before she got a little bit too close to certain areas that I would rather she didn’t get near. I made a small noise to get her attention, and when she looked back at me, I pointed at my ribcage and made a gesture with my hands that was similar to breaking a pencil in half. I made a small crkk sound with my mouth to help make my point.
The zebra’s eyes widened in understanding, and she swiftly moved to my side. She applied a very small amount of pressure to the spot on my ribcage that I had pointed at, and then nodded to herself when she saw me wince. I had cracked a rib as I tumbled down that hill when I was running from the wolves, and it seemed that this kindly zebra was going to help me out.
The zebra walked away from my bedside and went to the other side of the room where I could see shelves full of all sorts of glass containers and different varieties of plants. I noticed that dried plants were also hanging from the ceiling and that there were assortments of what looked to be totems scattered across the room. All in all, it gave off the impression of the house of a shaman.
She moved over to a shelf and picked up what seemed to be a small stone in her mouth. She then walked over what could only be a large cauldron and scraped the stone against the side of it, sending a shower of sparks that lit a bundle of wood sitting beneath it. A liquid inside the cauldron slowly began to boil.
“Not a shaman,” I thought as the zebra began to pull off various herbs and plants and throw them into the cauldron, chanting in a low voice as she did so. The cauldron released puffs of different coloured smoke with each dried root or leaf she added.
“she’s more of a witch doctor.”
I didn’t know what exactly the zebra was doing, but I was fairly certain that she was concocting some sort of medicine for me all while chanting lyrically in that language that I didn’t recognize. I briefly thanked my lucky stars that I was found by such a generous and helpful creature in my time of need. I was under no illusion that I would not be alive had she come around. I only wondered what it was that she had in mind for me. Did she help me completely out of the kindness of hr own heart, or were there any ulterior motives to her actions. Regardless of her reasons, she still helped me in my time of need.
I took the chance to look around me a little bit more, and I noticed that my clothes were neatly folded and sitting on the floor next to my bed. I also saw that the contents of my pockets had been taken out and were sitting on the end table next to my head.
My wallet, my smartphone, and my headphones were safe and intact, something that gave me a small measure of relief. I reached over and pressed the button on my smartphone, and was disappointed when I was greeted with the symbol that meant it was out of power. I wondered if the zebra had fiddled curiously with it in an effort to learn its secrets. Something told me that she wasn’t very familiar with advanced technology such as it.
One thing that I noticed that was especially peculiar about the zebra’s home was with how similar it looked to a home belonging to a particularly low tech person. I couldn’t help but wonder how it got furniture that was almost exactly the same as the kind that could be seen in any Ikea. The furniture was mostly made of wood, and there were very few pieces of metal to be found. The stove was made of stone and ran on wooden logs, and there was no technology to speak of. Everything was smaller then it usually would be to account for our obvious height differences, including the one door that I could see.
The zebra delicately grabbed a flask off of her shelf by the neck, and she carefully dipped it into the liquid. Holding the glassware in between her teeth, she walked over to where I was laying down and gently set it on the table next to me before looking at me expectantly.
“Drink.” her eyes told me.
I pointed meekly at the potion. It was dark blue, bubbling, and not appealing at all.
“Drink that?” my expression asked.
She nodded firmly, and I sighed in dejection. I reached out and grasped the potion by the neck and brought it under my nose to take a whiff. I inhaled, and couldn’t help but gag slightly. It smelled like liquefied compost, no doubt from all the plants that were thrown in it. No doubt it didn’t taste much better then it smelled.
“Can I get some sugar, or honey, or…” My words trailed off as she stared blankly at me. She then motioned towards the bubbling flask with her head, her meaning clear.
“Drink.”
I looked at the bubbling, fetid liquid, and I seriously considered refusing drinking it. The way I saw it, no matter how much help this zebra had given me, it was still an intelligent creature that was giving me an unknown item that it wanted me to consume. I didn’t know if this was medicine or some malicious drug or poison.
Eventually, under the stern gaze of the zebra similar of that of a doctor looking at a troublesome patient, I relented. I brought the flask to my mouth, and hesitated.
“Nothing ventured, nothing gained.” I thought before I poured the liquid down my gullet. It seemed that I had called it right; it tasted like leaf juice with a touch of sourness.
The effects were almost instantaneous. I felt a chill run through my entire body, but instead of feeling it in my muscles or on my skin; I somehow felt it deeper, in the core of my bones. It wasn’t unpleasant really, it just felt weird.
Shortly after I drank it, I started to feel dizzy. My eyes started to get heavy and my head started to pound. I tried to resist falling over, but the zebra started to gently push me over so my head fell on the pillow.
“Noooo…” I muttered weakly. I really, really didn’t want to go back to unconscious land. It seemed that every time I closed my eyes for slightly longer then a few seconds, I would be assaulted with all sorts of terrible dreams. Not to mention I didn’t like being unconscious around this creature. Just because she helped me doesn’t mean that I trusted her. Not yet at least.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t resist the pull of sleep, and my mind started to haze over as I was pulled into a deep slumber.
I don’t know what it was about this particular instance of sleep, but to my great relief, it was nightmare free. I don’t know what it was that prevented any horrific images from assaulting me at the time when I was at my weakest, but I knew that I felt more rested than I did in a while.
My eyes fluttered open as I returned to the world of the living, laying in the same bed and covered in the same scratchy wool blanket. I gave myself a little bit of time to figure out where my arms and legs were before sitting up so I didn’t topple out of the bed. As I lay there, I recalled drinking the potion that the zebra had given me and falling asleep right after, and a small bubble of fear formed in my stomach.
Why had I been knocked out after I drank the potion? Was it supposed to do that? It seemed that the zebra had expected that to happen with the way she gently laid my head onto the pillow, and for reasons that I couldn’t understand, it reminded me of the way that somebody would gently lay somebody on the ground after putting a chloroform cloth to their mouth.
I slowly got up and looked around the one room house, and what I saw made my jaw drop. The zebra was in the middle of the room with her eyes closed in meditation. That in itself wasn’t too strange; my history in martial arts has made my quite familiar with meditation. However, I could not recall a single time that I have ever seen someone balancing on their head on top of an upright staff with their arms at their chest and their legs splayed out in random directions. And even as I was looking at the zebra doing just that, I could still hardly believe it.
The zebra must have sensed my presence, as she soon opened her eyes to meet my astonished gaze. With a quick twisting movement, she leaned off the top of what looked to be a bamboo staff, landing gracefully on all fours as she caught the staff in her teeth before it fell. She quickly tucked it away in a corner of the room and then walked over to where I was laying.
She approached my bedside, and before I could stop her, she pressed her hoof to my ribs in the spot that I had injured. I winced instinctively, but was surprised when the searing pain didn’t come. Instead, the wounded area was just a little tender at her touch.
I looked at my ribs in bafflement before putting pressure on the spot with my own hand. It didn’t hurt at all. I put a little bit more pressure, and I could feel my ribs bend slightly under my hand, but no pain was forthcoming.
I looked up at the zebra to see her smiling at me, and I smiled in return. I didn’t know what happened, or why my injury had healed in what couldn’t have been more then a few hours, but I knew that I had this wonderful creature to thank for it. I bowed my head and smiled gratefully, and she nodded before turning away from the bedside and walking to what had to be the kitchen. I guessed that it was around time for dinner as she started to pull out wooden and stone kitchen utensils.
I decided that I would take this opportunity to get dressed while her back was turned. Whether or not this creature truly is a zebra or not, she doesn’t seem to have any aversion to nudity. I however, did. I quickly pulled off the blankets and picked up my clothes and started to pull them on.
I realized that all the other smaller injuries that I had acquired during my trek through the forest had not been healed as I could feel them smart underneath the bandages that had been put on me. I didn’t pay that much mind however. I figured that half a loaf was better then no loaf at all.
I quickly pulled on my underwear, black jeans, and plain red collared shirt with some difficulty, as my body was still stiff and sore. I slowly rose from my bed and stretched my limbs as far as I could, eliciting a few satisfying pops and cracks.
The zebra noticed that I was moving, and she turned to look at what I was doing. I saw a little bit or surprise when she saw me standing, and thought that I could understand why. She only came up to about my waist, so I must have been quite the imposing figure to her.
She muttered to herself and turned away from me, reaching into a small cupboard where she pulled out a variety of vegetables and a knife. She quickly got started on cutting up some green peppers and throwing them into a bowl. I watched in fascination how she expertly manoeuvred the knife with just her mouth.
As I sat on the edge of the bed, and as I watched her work absentmindedly, I started to think about my situation, something I haven’t had enough time to do yet. I thought about how I somehow managed to faint in my own apartment and wake up in the middle of a forest. I also thought about how this place was inhabited by the strangest creatures, from ones that don’t belong in a forest to ones that don’t belong in anywhere other than fiction .
There weren't many reasons that I could think of that sounded realistic enough to be true, and I had already overruled the dream possibility. Only two reasons stood out. The first was that this was an extremely imaginative and well thought out prank, but there was a multitude of problems with that theory. The first was that I didn’t know anybody who would go to such lengths just to pull a fast one on me, and I certainly didn’t know anybody insane enough to drug me, leave me in the middle of a forest, and set wolves after me. Especially not the types of wolves that I saw.
Unfortunately, that was the theory that made the most sense. My second theory as to how I got in this predicament of mine was that I had traveled to another planet or dimension entirely. I had absolutely no idea how that could ever be possible, but after all that I’ve seen recently, I wasn’t about to discount anything as being too absurd.
The more that I thought about it however, the more that that idea made sense in my mind. I thought about the wolves made out of wood, and about the kindly equine that had saved me from them. The way I figured, at the level human technology is right now, It would have been nearly impossible for those creature to live on our planet without our knowledge. Plus, there was one more thing that made me seriously consider that I might have broken some sort of space-time continuum in coming here.
I looked down at my right hand, or more specifically, at the shiny ring that was firmly wrapped around the base of my index finger. I had nagging feeling that this ring had something to do with my being here. The way that it glowed after I put it on, and then immediately passed out, and the way that it refused to come off was far too suspicious to ignore as insignificant.
I sighed and sat down at the edge of the bed, burying my head into my hands. I had to fight back the urge to cry, because I knew if I started, I wouldn’t stop. I couldn’t help but think about my mom, the only family I had left, and my few friends back in Toronto. I started to tremble slightly as I contemplated the possibility of never seeing them again, and of them never knowing what happened to me.
I couldn’t let that happen. My mom was a wreck after my dad died, not eating or moving for several weeks afterwards. It was one of the reasons I had to leave college. She suddenly lost any and all desire to care for herself, so I had to take up the responsibility, something that I couldn’t do while still in school. I knew that if she lost me too, then there was no way she would be able to go on.
I gritted my teeth and dug my nails into my scalp. I couldn’t let that happen, and I wouldn’t let it happen. If this ring really was what brought me here, then no matter what it took, I was going to get it to take me back. Granted, I didn’t know the first thing about it, this world, or the inhabitants of this world, but no matter how long it took, I was going to get home. I had to.
My resolute thinking was interrupted when I noticed something strange happening with the ring on my finger, namely that it was glowing red. Not bright like how it did before I fainted for that first time, but softly like an old glowstick. The glow quickly disappeared as soon as it arrived however. I stared at the ring for a few moments, waiting to see if anything else was going to happen. When nothing did, I pushed it out of my mind.
The rest of that evening was spent mostly in silence between me and my host. We both knew that there was an unbreakable language barrier between us with no way of getting past it, so we didn’t bother attempting to communicate in anything other then charades. It got a little bit awkward when I had to use gestures, motions, and sounds to tell her that I needed to use a bathroom, but she eventually figured it out and pointed to the door of the small house. It seemed like I was going woodsman style.
It was nearly night when I left her house in order to relieve myself, trying to ignore her snickering at my attempts to get my message across to her. I realized that this meant that I had spent a full day in this forest, and that I would soon be spending another full one here.
I did my business and went back inside her little hovel, but when I turned around to go back inside, I stopped in surprise. The house wasn’t a house at all, but a hallowed out tree that had been repurposed into a home. There was some decorations hanging off the walls and the branches of the tree, ceremonial masks and painted on symbols. The result was an extremely striking image of an environmentalists dream home.
“A place fit for a witch doctor.” I thought with a wry smile as I went back inside. I saw that the zebra had finished making dinner and had laid out two bowls of what looked to be a simple garden on a rough hewn wooden table.
It wasn’t fine cuisine, but considering my situation, I was happy with it. I nodded my thanks and took my bowl and a small cup of water in my hands, and sat down on my knees to eat since the chairs were too small to sit in, and the table would be too low to eat at comfortably. She didn’t give me any utensils, so I just ate with my fingers.
By the time I had finished, I had been awake for only an hour and a half, and I was starting to feel tired again. The zebra must have noticed how my movements became sluggish and my eyes became half lidded. After I had eaten, she had walked up to me and gently pushed me in the direction of the bed that she had given me. I dragged my body, still sore from the scrapes and scars that covered me from head to toe, and I gratefully collapsed into the thin mattress. The zebra gently patted my head as my eyelids fell and I slowly fell asleep, something I had been doing far too much of for the past day.
“It’s a big and scary world out there Kael…bigger and scarier than any of us will ever know. But no matter what happens, you need to be strong”
“Never take anything for granted son. Not even the simple things. The wind on your face, the light of the sun, everything, no matter how insignificant, is much more valuable then it seems at the time. Every sensation, every experience, every feeling is another step in the journey of life, and no matter how insignificant it might seem, it should be a step taken with the utmost care and attention.”
“Remember Kael, an answer earned is much more valuable then an answer given.”
“You know what Kael? Friends are a lot like snowflakes. If you pee on them, they disappear.”
My dreams were haunted by brief flashes of my dad and his voice. I caught glimpses of his kindly, wrinkled face, and I heard an assortment of random bits of wisdom that he was so fond of imparting on me, even though I didn’t understand most of them at the time, and still don’t for some.
I slowly rose from the bed on which I was laying and stretched out my arms. I felt like very well rested, something that I was very relieved about. I had been worried that even though the kindly zebra had given up her bed for me, I wouldn’t be able to sleep due to the underlying fears and worries that plagued my thoughts.
I slowly rose from the bed and looked around. To my surprise, the zebra was nowhere to be found. I went to the front door and looked outside, peering around at the trees and shrubbery, but I couldn’t find her. My brow furrowed in confusion.
“She probably just stepped out for a while…” I thought to myself. From what I could tell, this zebra lived in isolation, and she probably lived off of the forest. I wouldn’t be surprised if she came back with bags laden down with fruits, vegetables, and herbs.
With not much else to do to entertain myself, I just sat and waited for her to get back. I looked at the various colourful masks that decorated the walls; I examined the small cauldron and the assortment of dried plants and powders that she had used in her potion making, and basically just entertained myself for about an hour. Thankfully, I heard a small rustling noise that indicated that the zebra had returned from wherever she was. I had to admit that it was more then a little disconcerting being alone in such an unfamiliar environment, and I was glad that she had returned.
I was sitting on the edge of the bed when she returned, twiddling my thumbs and idly looking around. I looked towards the door and smiled when I saw her walk in, but my smile froze on my face as I realized that she wasn’t alone.