Two worlds that were never meant to meet. Two ancient and powerful artifacts, separated by dimensions. Two princesses who need to defend their kingdom from an ancient evil thought to be sealed away.
One man, thrown in between it all by the cruel hand of fate.
(Not a self-insert)
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Unlike other Human fics that I've read, this one is very nicely presented.
I have a couple suggestions, if you wouldn't mind. (I have no intention of sounding rude.)
For smaller numbers, especially those that are less than one-hundred, I'd suggest always spelling them out. (Exactly like how you did this with 'one'.)
I only have one other tip:
For emphasis, it would be much more appealing to the eye if the emphasized word was italicized.
Overall, I'm very happy with how you write. Good plot, grammar, spelling, and punctuation.
Hooray, I get to favourite another story!
2059115
I'm glad to hear that you enjoyed it.
Being only 17 and still relatively new to the intricacies of writing, I'll take any advice that I can get. Your advice is much appreciated!
Why, hello, King Sombra!
You may want to take a second look at this...
Maybe: From what I could tell, it looked the head of a majestic horse. There was also a pegasus that curled along the length of the outside, that also had a long horn on its head which almost touched its flowing tail.
Just a suggestion.
In addition, this has a lot of potential; you should really get some editors and proofreaders to help you polish it up - there's tons of groups available for just that purpose.
damn. this is great! seriously, keep it up!
followin'
2059631
You're probably right, I should get some pre-readers and editors. I'm not really good at editing my work, something that is plain to see with how I missed such an egregious mistake. Thanks for pointing it out to me, and I'm glad that you like the story so far despite it
Well shit...
Excellent story so far, with very refreshing use of the English language. Keep it up.
2097089
That's a compliment I've never received before. Thank you kindly.
Oh God... he shall panic then run around then got stopped by wither strength, magic, or ability to fly... but I'm guessing magic from twilight
The One Ring.
It pleases me.
...I mean, I appreciate the fact that someone finally didn't ignore the fact that Equine is not English! This is a very interesting story, much more than other HiEs. I can't help but notice that this takes some cues from "A Different Viewpoint of Equestria."
2129079
It pleases me that it pleases you. Also, I've never actually heard of or read that story until you mentioned it, but considering how well that one was received, I'll consider any similarities to be a good thing.
Me thinks this is missing a proper OC character tag
2194020 Humans are indeed OC, even if they are not equine.
I must say, that is a beautiful quote from a previous chapter: "Friends are a lot like snowflakes. When you pee on them, they disappear."
Hmmm...
i279.photobucket.com/albums/kk121/TheAmish/this-is-gonna-be-good.gif 1.bp.blogspot.com/-iLbS-5dQh84/ULfBPdFES-I/AAAAAAAADjQ/rWa-E47fhUA/s1600/dis-gun-be-good.gif
The way in which you portray the mixture of emotions that Kael experiences is what really interested me.
I like it!
MOAR
yay update, very good chapter
evansheline.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/basketcat-is-pleased.jpg
HAVE HIM GO CRAZY AND PUNCH A WINDOW OR STEAL A KNIFE AND USE THAT TO TRY AND CUT OFF HIS FINGER!!!
What's with people making Rainbow Dash a bitch lately?
Anyway, good chapter.
At least until he has another nightmare about King Sombra.
Huh. I forgot about this story. Good chapter, mate. Good chapter.
Finally! Kael is baaaaaack!
You know, his grandpa's "friends are like snowflakes" line has become a local meme of sorts at my school.
Yes! Update!
I wonder if he will ever get desperate enough to contemplate cutting off his finger...
It has been updated! Thy reader is pleased.
Either Fluttershy is really that caring to the point where she won't break a promise made to protect someone, or something happened in her life in the past that made her like that.
Or my hunger is just making me think of dumb stuff. Either/or.
Loved the way you portrayed how adamantly Fluttershy was in protecting Kael. Even standing up to the princesses!
Hell hath no fury like Fluttershy's anger
Ah, updates, how nice. Also, this looks to be going places until now unforeseen, especially with the princesses obviously wanting the EoH to stay in Ponyville. On that note, I'm hoping to see Kael get zapped far, far away from the Mane Six, so he can have Rincewind-esque adventures with OCs and/or background characters.
Awesome job, can't wait for the next chapter.
And so it begins :D
Great chapter.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LUNA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Luna will walk into the library perfectly fine and be like, "why didn't you wait for me?"
Feel real bad for the animals of the Everfree in HiE stories... Always showing up out of nowhere to get beat down in order to add "suspence" or reveal some power or skill to servive in the main character. Just feel real bad knowing how many Timber Wolves have given their lives for the sake of progression in a story.
2805586
Man, those timberwolves had it coming to them.
Great chapter.
Please update soon!!
Soon= within a few days………
2059115>>2059205
How did you miss that? XD
Missing something... there.
Calling it now. He's being influenced by Sombra, who wants either the ring or the human destroyed.
elements of Earmony.......fix this, fix this now
Please don't murder you? Hell no this is getting good! Murdering you now would be a mistake. You got lucky.
they do realize that even if they can't normally take off the ring from his finger that they could still just cut off the finger right? it's a much simpler solution which only results in a few moments of pain for him
3189508
Already said in the chapter that anything that would separate the ring from his body would cause him to be destroyed by Sombra's will.
i
tuxedo mask give this fic an 10 out of 10.
3296327
Lolwhut?
3296495 it an sailor moon joke
Question: Why not just cut off the finger which the ring has attached itself to and destroy that?
Then all Sombra can do is take over a severed finger. 
catmacros.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/dont_know_you.jpg
lol. Don't care anyway.
Good story so far.
3301097
That is a good question.
Hopefully there will be some answer, that won't involve the death of Kael.
An update! *inhales deeply*
So now we are in the Crystal Empire, the protagonist has already terrified the locals and is still being steadily corrupted by the ring. This looks good.