Chapter 4: Your Princess is in another castle, deal with it!
Chapter 4: Your Princess is in another castle, deal with it!
I was dragging myself though a muddy ravine, flat on my belly thanking Princess Luna for this new moons night. I could hear talking, laughter and cracking wood from nearby camp-fires. Sometimes the flapping of wings when an enemy patrol passed overhead. Not for the first time this night I asked myself how I had gotten into this mess?!
It must have started right after the first battle. Back in the camp the surviving captains reorganized the troops to fill up their respective lances. A lance is the smallest unit in the Equestrian army. In consists of ten soldiers, lead by a captain. Leading a lance myself I picked two pegasi and two unicorns from the group that had made up the schiltron at the end of the battle. That was against customs. Normally the army was divided into three divisions: The Infantry made up of earth ponies, the artillery made up of unicorns and the air force that consisted of pegasi. There was no intermixing of troops in a single lance. After the last battle however I was convinced that this was either old fashioned or stupid, maybe both. So I defended my choice of troops in front of the other captains.
“Think about it! A mixed troop has way more options to adapt to any situation on the battlefield, especially if it is operating alone in the field. I can have the unicorns force enemy flyers to the ground or strike the enemy from a distance while the earth ponies cover them. I can have pegasi scout ahead and take out enemy sentries, or have them cover our retread with a wall of fog.”
“We don’t have single units out in the field.” pointed out one of the captains. I think his name was Thick Head or something. A murmur went through the crowd, some of the others agreed.
“Well we should have single units out in the field!” protest one of them, stamping the ground with his hoof, raising his voice above the crowd.
He was a grey earth pony stallion with a very short brown mane and a very think neck.
“The beating we got today was a disgrace!” he spat, “I don’t know about you guys, but I am a marine! And marines fight to win!”
He had gotten everypony's attention by now, so he continued in a normal volume.
“It’s obvious that in seven hundred years of peace, the Equestrians have not modernised their army. We are fighting with seven hundred years old gear and seven hundred years old tactics! If you think the generals are more experienced in war than we are, think again. We come from a world that has not known a single year of peace in all of recorded history. We have written books about war, made films about war, our games are war! I bet even the nerdiest geek among us knows more about tactics than any Equestrian. We could turn this war upside down. Mixed unit tactics, guerilla warfare, Blitzkrieg, Panzer tactics, we got it all. And it’s time we put it to use.” He worked himself up into a frantic speech; by the end of it everypony looked at him in wonder.
I stomped my hooves on the ground in applause. “Bravo! That’s the kind of spirit we need!” I cheered. Slowly the others picked up as well soon all of us were applauding.
When it had died down, I raised my voice: “OK, let’s take this to the generals! They will have to agree if all of us tell them!”
We managed to convince the generals one by one. We started with the infantry general Big Macintosh, who just silently nodded in agreement. Then we went to the air force general Ditzy Doo. It took a little bit longer to convince her, but I think that was only because I had so much fun talking to her. That however is another story. We went to the artillery general last, the great and powerful Trixie. It was horrible; I just can’t stand that obnoxious mare. So I tried to keep in the background and let the others handle it. They eventually convinced her by selling our idea as hers. Indeed she became very happy when she became convinced that she had had an idea that could win this war.
From there everything moved on its own and I was hardly involved, so I was surprised and not prepared at all when I and my new favourite marine were summoned into the marshal’s tent.
Princess Luna had a large tent. It was dominated by a huge wooden table, on which were sprawled maps and colourful figures. A simple bed and a trunk stood in the back of the tent. I noticed how spartan it was furnished. It looked like she was taking her role as military leader quite serious.
It was night and a dozen candles gave their flickering light to illuminate the tent. The princess was standing in front of a large brazier whose glowing coals warmth could be felt all the way to the entry. Even inside the tent her dark mane flowed in some astral wind. The stars in her hair shone bright and I think I saw Vega in it.
“Princess, you wanted to see us?” I said after we had entered the tent. She turned to face us.
Up close she was even more intimidating than from a distance. She stood taller than almost anypony, her figure sublime and noble and her snout more pronounced and regal than that of the regular pony. Her very presence sent shivers down my spine and made my fur stand on its end.
But I am proud to say that neither I nor my brother in arms went to our knees. We stood proud and tall and I think that alone impressed the Princess a little. In fact I stood as tall as her and looked her straight in the eyes.
Nothing could have compared to her stare. Her eyes were shining in the dim candlelight and I got the impression I was looking into the endless void of the galaxy. It was like she was seeing right through me, through armour, hide, flesh and bone, right into my very soul. I could not hold her gaze for more than a second; it was a very humbling experience.
“Ah yes. You are the two captains who took it upon themselves to restructure my whole army, aren't you?” She said after she had mustered us, skipping the formal greeting.
“You are both of the summoned are you not?”
I nodded. “Yes your highness. We came here with the first and third wave.”
The summoning had proceeded over five days. The ritual was quite complex and needed a lot of time. On each of the five days in the afternoon it would be finished and another thousand freshly summoned troops would stream into our camp. I was along the first wave, that’s why everything was so confusing. The later waves had it easier, because we were already there to explain what was going on.
The Princess nodded. “So I gather you are introducing some modern tactics from your world on the basis that your species is very warlike, which leads you to think that your know more about it than we do. Is this correct?” She kept up a professional tone, but it was all I could do not to cower before her stare. She was not amused.
“I was more thinking about introducing some two thousand five hundred years old tactics ma’am.” The marine replied, unimpressed by Luna’s show of disdain. She gave him a curious glance, raising an eyebrow.
He cleared his throat and continued to explain.
“There was a famous general in our world by the name of Sun Tzu. He wrote a book describing the principles of warfare. And no matter how much the weapons and tactics of our armies changed since that time his principles still hold true. They are universally applicable to any kind of warfare. For instance, Sun Tzu said: Know your enemy like you know yourself and you will be victorious in every battle. If you don’t know you own strength or that of the enemy, you will loose as often as win. If you know neither yourself nor the enemy, you will succumb in every single battle.”
Luna thought about this, raising her hoof to her chin.
“Hmm, I am intrigued. Tell me more about this.” She exclaimed and went over to the table. She presented it with a wave of her hoof and beckoned us to come closer.
“This is a map of the whole of the war zone. The figures show the strength and position of our own troops as well as known enemy formations.” She explained as we came closer.
I took my time to study the map, trying to analyse the situation best as I could.
The battle zone was a large valley surrounded by high mountain ranges on all sides. There were two big fortresses at either side of the valley, one in the north, one in the south. These were the main strongholds of each side. Furthermore there were four smaller fortresses, spread in a rectangle around the valley. One was close to one side’s stronghold; they were located on small hills and overlooked a wide plain. Two more castles were located at a river that crosses the entire valley about half way from either side; they controlled bridges crossing the river. I gathered from the colour of the figures and flags on the map, that we were only controlling our stronghold and the castle closest to us at the moment, while the griffons controlled the castle closest to theirs and the western river crossing. One castle was apparently untaken by either side.
The western side of the battle zone was dominated by wide forest ranges, while the eastern side was made up of hilly grass and farmland. I got the feeling that this battle zone was created just for the purpose of this mock war. Like someone had made it with the map editor of a strategy game.
Here let me draw it out for you:
While I contemplated the map in silence my fellow brony though aloud.
“Hmm, so I gather we started at about ten thousand troops, half of them new recruits from our world and the enemy’s strength is estimated to be about thirty thousand. And after today’s battle we have only six to seven thousand left while the enemy lost only one thousand troops. We have lost half of our air force and now the enemy is controlling the sky. They hold the river crossing and most of the land between the river and our first outpost.” He murmured, sometimes he would look over to Luna, who would give him a confirming nod.
“Yes, that is the situation. Now tell me, what would you do to turn the tables in our favour?” the Princess of the Night asked, still sceptical about what he could offer.
The marine rubbed his chin with a hoof and looked at the table for long moments deep in thought before he spoke up.
“I would avoid any open battle and draw back to our stronghold and first outpost. The enemy will have to bring in heavy troops and siege engines before he can muster an assault on the castles. In the mean time we send mixed special commando forces into the eastern woods, establishing a line of hidden camps and secure a hidden river crossing. From these camps we can mount hit and run attacks on any troops they try to move through the eastern part. If they don’t we can muster assaults deep into enemy territory. We should focus on hitting their siege equipment and supply lines, thus drawing out the siege on our castles. Sooner or later they will try to get us out of the woods, but we will erect traps, ambush them and then retreat into the thick of the forest. We will make them pay for every step they take till they abandon the forest or manage to burn it to the ground.
In the meantime we hide our remaining air force and use it to produce constant bad weather on the eastern flank. The griffons will have to clean it up before they can move any troops. We will have fast strike teams attack their weather patrols from the cover of the clouds. We will mainly operate at night, enhancing our troop’s vision with magic if we can. This way we hinder the enemy engaging our troops directly. Furthermore we can have unicorn and earth pony troops dig themselves into the hills and bait any griffon troops that give chase to our strike teams into an ambush with artillery and infantry. The griffons will have a hard time getting our troops out of these hills if they don’t have diggers of their own or weapons shy of a neutron bomb.
Each of our lances should have means of direct communication with our headquarters. Maybe the unicorns can come up with some spell, like sending letters through dragon flame or something. Even the air force troops should have at least one unicorn for communications purpose, that way we can gather intelligence much faster. They would have to carry the unicorn around of course, maybe on a chariot or with enchanted hoofs on a cloud.
We keep to hit and run tactics and guerilla warfare till we manage to decimate their troops to our own strength. Than we can mount a sneak attack from the western woods on the river castle and start our assault into their territory from there.” He slowly nodded when he thought about his own plans after explaining them.
“That is just a rough draft of course, and will have to adjust our plans to the enemy’s reaction as we go along. But I think this covers the basics.”
Luna had listened to his plans in silence while her eyes went wider and wider as he went on. She now looked him, her face showing something like respect.
“I see. I don’t think I understand all of your unconventional tactics, but I understand were this is going. You are really good at this aren’t you?” she said, nodding slowly.
“I think I am” exclaimed the marine when it dawned on him what had just done. A bright flash of light came from his flank, as his cutie mark appeared. The three of us looked at it in wonder. It showed two chess figures, the white and black horse to be exact, over crossed swords.
I grinned and put my hoof on his shoulder.
“Looks like you earned your own pony name mate! And I just know what it will be.”
Both of them looked at me expectantly when I made a rhetoric pause.
“Say why don’t we get something to drink and talk more about Art of War’s plans?” I exclaimed with a big toothy grin. It took a second for the marine to get my meaning, but then he smiled widely.
“Heh, Art of War. I could get used to that!”
The Princess agreed. She ordered her orderly to get us some tea and we sat down to discuss plans and tactics in detail. We went on talking about it through all of the night and way past dawn. By the next day many of Art of War’s notions had been put into motion and the griffons didn’t find anypony to attack in the open field. We were ready for round two.
Art of War's plans worked out fantastic. The griffons didn't know what hit them. Sure they laid siege to our first outpost castle, but we hit their supply routes and took out most of their siege equipment and heavy infantry. Before they could counter attack, we vanished into the woods, hills and clouds. When they came after us, they played into our hoofs, for we let them into a wild chase through small paths spiked with traps, split them up and finally baited them into an ambush by our waiting troops. Even after a week the did not manage to bring enough troops and equipment to risk an assault on the castle walls. Things were looking up.
Me and my lance had taken the front most camp in the western woods, well past the separating river. So far we hadn't seen much action, other than taking out a few scouts who ventured to deep into the woods. But that changed when one morning my communications unicorn Spell Savvy came with a scroll to my tent. She had earned her cutie mark back in the base when she came up with our communications spell. It showed some impossible geometric knot whatever, that made my head spin by just looking at it. But its bright green contrasted nicely with the dark blue of her coat. So it was just as much pleasure as pain to look at her well formed flank. (I think I am drifting off.)
“Sir, I just received a priority one message from HQ. You better read this!” she told me when I had just crawled out of my tent. She was nice enough to levitate the scroll in front of me so I could read it more easily.
This is a priority one mission.
The judges came up with a mini game. Each side has given one of their own to act as a captured princess. They get bonus points for successfully freeing her. This apparently means we get a thousand troops restored to the war zone!
Our princess is Red Herring, the white pegasus with the pink mane you said would be a fine diversion. Well you got the right of it, she even got a diversion cutie mark.
Red Herring is being held in the topmost tower of the enemy’s first outpost castle. Apparently the enemy has strengthened his troops in this area in reaction of our latest strikes into their territory. Your lance is the closest to the castle, so it falls to you to lead the rescue mission. I have arranged a new moon with Luna in 36 hours. You should use it and strike in the dark.
This mission is extremely dangerous, but the reward will very well be worth it.
Good luck my friend. -Art of War-
I scratched my beard in deep thought, then went on to scratch all of my mane. I had already come up with five possible plans, all of them not going to work.
“Savvy, contact blue lance and arrange a meeting in two hours at the cleaved oak. We are going to need backup on this one.”
This is a good opportunity to briefly explain Savvy's communication spell. Turned out that the easiest way to do so was via telepathy. Turned out it was even easier if the unicorns knew each other well. So they held some kind of speed dating group or whatever before separating into their specific lances. Don't ask me what they really did, only unicorns were allowed. But it was a great success and now we were able to communicate with almost every other lance. The communication unicorns wrote everything down as soon as it was transmitted to them, so they would not forget anything important.
So we met up with blue lance and came up with a plan. That took the rest of the day and following night because we thought it would be a good idea to discuss plans over a bottle of mead. Or make that a dozen... per pony. I know, I know, that was not very professional, but I happened to be friends with blue lance and it was fun. Anyway we came up with a plan in the end.
And what a stupid plan it had been! As I said in the beginning of the chapter, I was crawling through a dirty mud filled ravine. Me and my lance were only wearing light armour, dark red cloaks and some disgusting face paint. I had opted for my trusted chain mail and coif and covered it with some dark brown cloth. (If you think: “Hey, that chain would have rattled and given away your position!” You have seen to many bad Hollywood movies. Chain mail hardly makes a sound. Unhearable when you wear padding under and cloth over it. You could wear it under you shirt to the office and no one would notice. Now articulated plate or any combination of chain and plate, that is a different matter.)
We were nearly invisible in the pitch blackness of the moonless night. We approached the enemy castle in the cover of said ravine. It led all the way to the castle walls, right through their war camp and from its smell I was pretty sure they used it as a latrine and garbage dump. I can still smell that stink when I close my eyes.
Crawling on our bellies, stopping every time an enemy patrol came to close, holding our breaths, it took us several hours to get all the way to the castle walls. We nearly botched it half way through when a drunk griffon relieved himself into the ravine. He pissed right on Richards hood and I still greatly admire his self discipline, for he just lay there and let it happen.
When we had reached the castle walls, we went over to phase two of our plan. The two pegasi of our group used their wings and climbed the tower, hardly making any sound. We called them Silent Wing and Black Lotus.
Silent Wing had gained his cutie mark just a few days ago when he flew up on an unsuspecting griffin and dispatched him with one quick thrust from his spear. He was just like an owl hunting in the night and I was a little scared of him.
Black Lotus had actually another pony name and her cutie mark showed a happy smiling cloud with a rainbow over it. She was from Equestria, Cloudsdale to be exact. About half our troops where natives, but they only got mixed up with us bronies when we reorganized the troops after the first battle. Black Lotus had a pitch black coat and a blood red mane. Normally she would be the sweetest little flower, always smiling, loved by everypony. But when it came to battle she was as deadly as the strongest poison. This earner her her Mock War Name: Black Lotus. I think I have even forgotten her real name... oh well.
So they gained the castle walls and snuck on the battlements of the highest tower. The rest of us made ready to fight. I unsheathed my claymore and loosened my neck with audible cracking.
A bright flash of light shone from the battlements, it was quickly followed by several others inside the tower and finally with shouts of alarm.
You see we had not been able to get rid of one big loophole in our plan: When we dispatch the guards, they get teleported by the battlefield spell, thus creating a bright flash. So we decided to just wing it after we got to the prisoner.
It didn't even take the two special ops pegasi a minute to get out of the tower with the princess between them. They quickly landed and we ushered them into the middle of our shields. The enemy still held air dominance, that's why we had to sneak the pegasi up to the walls in the first place, that's why it was impossible for them to escape by flying away. We set off in a daring Gallop, following the ravine. The enemy flyers would have a hard time spotting us from above and the natural walls hindered swooping attacks.
Every enemy that was brave enough to try and block our escape learned to fear pony hooves the hard way, as the heavy earth ponies of Panzer lance just galloped over them. Many a griffon vanished in shining light under our hooves.
Still we were under assault from every side as we dashed madly through the muddy waters, our hooves loudly splashing dirt. I had slung my shield over my back and tucked my head between my shoulders when water bombs and foam arrows glanced of my shield and armour. My claymore slashed out at every griffon fool enough to get himself inside its killing range.
We finally made it out of the camp and quickly headed for the forest.
We had lost our pursuers for now, but we were pretty sure they would muster a group for pursuit and catch up with us before we reached the thick of the woods. So we didn't slow down and pressed on as hard as we could.
They caught us only meters before we entered the forest. It rained jelly balloons from above. One earth pony was hit on the head before he could raise his shield, he vanished instantly. We got our shields up and the unicorns returned fire. Their magically guided balloons quickly dispatching two of the closest attackers. We pushed on and made it into the cover of the trees by hairs margin.
That didn't earn us any time to catch our breath though, as the griffons landed and pursued us on claws and paws.
“Keep going! You have to make it to the rendezvous point!” I shouted at my ponies as I let myself fell behind. At this rate the griffons would catch up and possible get a lucky shot on Red Herring. I could not risk that, so I trailed a dozen meters behind to act as a rear guard.
I heard a flapping of wings and felt the impact of something heavy on my shield. A glance over my shoulder told me that a griffon had landed on my back. He raised his Axe to strike at my head, but I bucked and slashed at him with my claymore. He was thrown of and got a hit on his legs, that made him stumble and fall to ground.
But there were more still and I quickly found myself surrounded on three sides. I lunged to my left and crashed into one griffon with my shoulder before he could raise his sword for a strike. The force of my assault threw him of course on he hit a thorn bush. I had to chuckle at his sudden scream of pain. (There is no schadenfreude like Mock War schadenfreude!)
That left two on my heels. I did my best not to let them get in any attacks. I dashed about, jumped over fallen tress and broke through the undergrowth. I pivoted on my hind legs, stroke out with my mighty sword and let my shield flay wide on its straps. They still managed to get a few hits in and I could feel the sting of electricity as they managed to break through my armour. I clenched my teeth and galloped on. The rendezvous point was only a few more dozen meters away, if I could just make it to the clearing!
I felt a shiver in my neck, I glanced over my shoulder just in time to see the two remaining griffons dash at me in unison. I turned hard on my hooves and slashed out with my sword in a wide arc. It hit one griffon flat on his side, the force of the strike send him flying into the trees were he teleported with a flash. The other however got by my defence. His axe hit my left hind leg under the chain mail. A jolt of electricity soared though my leg and it went limb. I was still in the hard turn and my momentum made me fall heavily to ground and roll against a tree trunk. With a crack I heard one or two of my ribs break. Pain shot through my flank, I could only gasp as my breath was driven from my lungs. I lost hold of my sword and collapsed in a heap. Stars were dancing in my vision and it was getting dark at the edges. I clenched my teeth and tried to hold on to consciousness. By now it would probably have been smart to let myself be hit and get teleported out, so somepony could address my wounds. But I am a sore looser. I wanted to at least make the griffon walk home with a limb wing before he got me. I raised my head to look at my attacker, just in time to see him jumping at me in a high arc, his two handed axe raised over his head. I quickly stretched my neck and grabbed for my claymore.
This is a good point to get a bottle of beer. My fingers are kinda cramping from all the writing.
Vanishes from the computer for a moment and comes back with a bottle Spriesling apple wine.
Bad news is, I got no more beer. Oh well, this is good stuff too. Prost!
Proceeds to drink two cups of the sour cool liquid.
Ah, much better!
I think I should explain a thing or two about Equestrian military.
The smallest unit in Equestrian military is a lance. It is made up of ten ponies, lead by a captain.
Ten lances form a banner. It is lead by a colonel and includes one standard bearer.
Ten to fifty banners form a regiment lead by a general.
There are three regiments in the Mock War, the generals being Big Macintosh, Ditzy Doo and Trixie. The three regiments are lead by the marshal, Princess Luna herself.
The Equestrian troops have an original strength of ten thousand ponies. Half of them are transformed bronies from Earth.
As you might have noticed, bronies are mostly males, while ponies in the show are mostly mares. This results in a mare/stallion ratio of about 50/50. Not that this could be important at any point in the story, mind you.
Hope you had fun reading my little story. To be continued...