I put my hoof forward, and slowly but surely let it touch the first step when…
“Hang on.”
It was Electric Sky. Before I even had the chance to ask why she’d stopped me, her horn began to glow a brilliant blue. She raised it to the sky, sparks flying off in all directions, and with a crack, launched a ball of energy into the air. The magical burst flew higher and higher, until finally it stopped. It hung in the air for a few moments, then suddenly burst forth into a surge of energy, blanketing the night sky in a sea of blue streaks. The others looked up and gaped in awe. The unicorn’s name seemed oddly fitting now. She her gaze returned to us, and she said:
“Okay, now we can go.”
I was still confused.
“Uhh… what was that for?”
She smiled. “Just a precaution.”
Once again, I thought it best not to ask. And with that, we proceeded onwards, for real this time.
I don’t remember much about the stairway to Tartarus, only that it was dark. Very dark. I could barely see my forelegs in front of me, let alone the next step.
“One false step and we plunge into the abyss, la la la la!”
Levee was not helping matters.
“Your singing isn’t helping matters, Levee”, said Electric Sky, “and you do realise you can fly, right?”
The green Pegasus stopped for a moment, before facehoofing. “Oh, silly me!”, she said, before turning and jumping into the aforementioned abyss.
“Wheeeeeeeeeee!”
“LEVEE!!!”, yelled Bumbleseet.
We all stood, waiting, waiting…
“Oh, come on everypony!”, echoed a familiar voice, and we all breathed a sigh of relief, “you can go on without me. I’ll catch up later, I promise. Well, right after I map out every nook and cranny of this crevice. Exploring tiiiiiiime~!”
Electric Sky gave me a nudge. “Good thing we’re here to keep an eye on that one. Actually…” I could practically hear the abrupt topic switch. I could tell something had just crossed her mind.
“Okay everypony”, she began, “listen up. I think it’s about time we formulated our strategy. I trust you all know what I’m talking about.”
“Cerberus…”, I replied softly. I knew this was coming, but I was trying not to think about it.
“Exactly, Cerberus is the name of the game, ponies. I can tell you’ve been trying to avoid thinking about it, but we cannot put off this strategy meeting any longer.”, she was suddenly starting to sound like a Royal Guard commander. “After all, it’s hard to plan while you’re being… torn limb from limb.”
Lilly Blossom visibly cringed. Electric Sky continued.
“Okay, first things first: team makeup. Let’s see… our combined skillset… Woah!”, the yellow unicorn had just realised she had put her left hoof down onto nothing. Luckily, Lilly Blossom was there to catch her. Scarily quickly, and quietly, I might add.
“Phew, thanks for that. I’m not used to… not having room to pace. This is going to make my job so much harder. Okay, where was I… ah! Yes, our talents. We’ve got: Beekeeping! Dancing!” She pointed dramatically at Bumblesweet and Lilly Blossom.
“Mapmaking!” She pointed down into the abyss.
“Being male!” There was an awkward silence. Emerald Ray clearly took offense to this, but it took him a while to muster up the courage to speak.
“Uh… um… If you don’t mind… There is… a little more to me than merely that.”
“Look, I’m sorry okay”, Electric Sky replied, “but you really didn’t give me much to go on. Seriously, if the Canterlot archives made a profile on you with the information I have it would probably be just one sentence: ‘Boy pony.’ Other than that there’s just… speaking Deer, and I doubt that’s going to be of use here, so…”
“So, um, so what?”, Emerald Ray suddenly sounded a lot more confidant. In fact, he almost sounded brash. It was as if he was a completely different pony. ‘In case you haven’t noticed, I do have a Talent Sign.”
“T-talent Sign?”, asked Bumblesweet, bemused.
“Oh.. ah…”, and he was back to his usual self. Odd.
“Apologies. Talent Sign is what deer call the… err… marks we ponies have on our… hind regions.
“To be fair”, I interjected, “Talent Sign is the more accurate translation of the original Old Pony term. You see, Cutie is a corrupted form of the word…”
“Look guys”, Electric Sky cut in, “I’m learning a lot from this conversation, really, but could we please get back on topic. Emerald Ray I’m really sorry for before. But it would help if I knew just what your talent was.”
“My talent… it is…
a secret.”
“Eh, fine. I can work with what I have at the moment”, Electric Sky began to turn, and I realised I was next on her list.
“And you, Star Swirl…”, dramatic point, “Ah, actually I forget, what do you do, again?”
Ah, there it was. The question I always dreaded since my childhood. At least I felt better answering it among friends.
“You know… I’m not actually sure. I technically got my Cutie Mark for something I can’t actually do, yet.”
Electric Sky gave a nod, and turned her mind elsewhere. She began that incoherent mumbling I had begun to term ‘logic mode’. It was a few minutes before she began to speak coherent words again.
“So… sooooo… I’ve got two blank slots here… two blank slots… two… blank… white… snow… winter… Winter Wrap-Up! EUREKA!”
And as usual, ‘logic mode’ was followed by the ‘eureka moment’. With bated breath, we awaited her discovery.
“Don’t you get it… oh wait, you never do, do you. Okay I’ll explain. Remember this year’s Winter Wrap Up?”
“Cos’ tomorrow Spring is here~”, sung a voice from below us.
I replied that I did, of course. Winter Wrap up was always a good time of year for me. After all, I was used to going without magic my whole life, so doing work without it was nothing to me. Why, it was one of the few times I felt I actually belonged.
“Yes, of course you remember it”, Electric Sky reminded me I was missing the point, “I mean what happened, you know, the big change the Mayor announced.”
“You mean the new organizer?” Bumblesweet clearly knew what she was referring to.
“Precisely! Word on the street is that the unicorn mare chosen was one who didn’t fit into any other team, but still tried her best to help. The ‘blank slate’, you might say.”
Before any of us had opened our mouths, the unicorn answered for us.
“You’re all probably wondering where I’m going with this, so I’ll get to the point. Star Swirl. You. Blank Slate. Just like her. So I hereby appoint you Captain of our squad.”
“Woah woah woah, hold on a minute…” I barely had time to argue when our ‘tactician’ made her next assignment.
“Emerald Ray. You. Bodyguard. Star Swirl. Now.”
“Umm… I…”
“Look, she’s the one we’re escorting, right? It only makes sense she should have a dedicated bodyguard, I feel like such an idiot for not thinking of this before. And you two seemed to really hit it off so…”
Before I could object, the others had already shuffled around so Emerald Ray was behind me.
“I shall guard you, Miss Star Swirl.”
The stallion seemed so serious about this offer that I couldn’t help but accept. Electric Sky smiled, it seemed she knew I would.
“Alright then!”, she said triumphantly, “we all know our roles. And now…”
“Ahem, excuse me dear”, said Bumblesweet, “I know assigning roles is all well and good, but how exactly is this going to help us beat Cerberus.”
Electric Sky sighed. “I was just getting to that. Now… we plan.”
“But weren’t we already…”
“Oh no, that was just the pre-plan preparations plan! If I don’t plan out our roles, how am I supposed to plan how to use them? It’s like I always say when working on a new design: if you rush straight into planning without first planning your approach to the plan, you’ll just end up with a lot of wasted time and a burnt face. Or, as is the case here, no face at all, due to Cerberus having…”
“Please don’t say another word”, squealed Lilly Blossom.
Electric Sky took her advice and changed topic. “Let’s plan and walk. As somepony once said ‘I think better when my legs move. Pumps blood to your brain.’” And so we continued down the stairway.
“Alright, captain, you have any ideas?”
Everypony stared at me. I almost felt like I was plunging through the abyss myself. I swallowed and began.
“Well… you see… according to my rigorous mythology studies”, truth be told, I just liked the cool stories, but I wasn’t telling them that, “Cerberus’ job is to guard the gates of Tartarus. Which makes things a problem for us, he’ll want to stop us getting in just as much as stop the monsters getting out. Now, we’re going to have to get him out of the way somehow… but we mustn’t harm him. Without Cerberus to guard the gates who knows what horrors will escape.”
“Good, good”, Electric Sky seemed to be evaluating me, “a solid plan, captain. And how do you propose we do this?”
“Well”, I replied, “I’d suggest we use something to distract him for a few moments while we all hurry past. That way, he’s not gone long enough for anything… worse to slip by.”
“There’s one slight… um, issue”, Lilly Blossom entered the conversation, “if Cerberus isn’t distracted long enough, we’re all doomed.”
“And if he’s distracted too long, or permanently”, Electric Sky added, “Equestria is doomed. We’re straddling the line between two extremes here, certain death and an Equestrian apocalypse. And neither one is good for us. We need to find the right balance… but how…”
I turned my head briefly. “Anypony have any ideas?”
“Umm…”, the first voice came from my newly-appointed bodyguard. “The deer have a unique method of deterring predators. One must first let their foe charge, and stand firm with their head lowered. Their antlers will stop the foe before it can reach them, and one can hold this stance for a fair while to buy time for others to escape.”
Emerald Ray stopped, took a look at each of us and, realising none of our company had antlers, simply said “Oh.”
Lilly Blossom was next to suggest a plan of attack. “I know a few lullabies. I could try to sing Cerberus to sleep. Ahem, hush now quiet now…”
“It’s time to lay your sleepy head, I said hush now, quiet now, it’s time to go to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep! Yeah! Sorry, when I hear somepony singing I just have to join in!”, echoed the voice below us, loudly. We all realised that plan was doomed to failure.
“Hmm…”, mused Electric Sky. It seemed like she was on to something. Perhaps we’d finally hear a plan that made sense.
“Aha! Clearly this situation requires the most powerful magic of all…”, she began. I mentally flicked through all the spellbooks I had read as a child, desperately trying to recall something of that nature.
“The magic of, pause for dramatic effect, FRIENDSHIP!”
Aaaaaand awkward silence once again. I tried to remind her that we weren’t the Mane Six, when I realised she wasn’t finished.
“Channelled through an Orbital Friendship Canon!”
The silence was even more awkward this time.
“Now… where would I get the parts to build an Orbital Friendship Canon down here…”
I sighed. “Anypony got any other ideas?”
“How about a ball?”, said the voice below us.
“Huh?”
Our green Pegasus friend finally emerged from the abyss.
“Well, Cerberus is just a big doggy, isn’t he? And everypony knows doggies like balls. You know, I once helped somepony stash balls all over Ponyville, in case of ball emergencies.”
I had a feeling I knew who that ‘somepony’ was, but I didn’t want to bring it up. But still, this was probably the most intelligent suggestion I’d had so far. Well, were it not for one tiny problem…
“There’s no chance”, I begrudgingly asked, already knowing the answer, “you stashed balls here too?”
“Oh no, we almost never get ball emergencies in the Everfree Forest. Hydra Emergencies are more likely. Or, in my case, Parchment Emergencies. Then I realised there’s this bark of a certain tree that’s pretty much perfect for writing on, so I soon solved that problem. Maybe I should ask the earth ponies to plant some around Ponyville. Wouldn’t that be convenient? Whenever anypony feels the sudden need to write a letter they’d just have to…”
“LEVEE!”, once again I found myself having to stop her getting out of hand.
“Oh, ahem, sorry. Anyway, as long as you gals are, strategising, here’s a map of the Tartarus entrance.”
“WHAT?! Let me see that!”, Electric Sky suddenly blurted out. She ran so fast to get a look that she almost, err, almost fell off the edge again. “Wow, would you look at that. How did you manage to get such a detailed picture so quickly?”
Levee giggled. “Oh it was all too easy. I pretty much had free reign of the place, what with Cerberus not being there.”
We all stopped dead in our tracks. I felt like my heart had jumped up my throat, and given how pale the others looked I’m sure they felt something similar.
It was only a matter of time before Bumblesweet said what we were all thinking.
“Wait. If Cerberus isn’t there, and we didn’t see him outside, and Celestia hasn’t issued any lost dog notices, then that that means…”
We heard a heavy panting and the sound of thunderous footsteps approaching us. Very soon six yellow eyes gleamed in the darkness.
“Oh horseapples.”
“Oh that’s right, Cerberus has super-hearing. Silly me!”, said Levee, seemingly totally oblivious to what was happening.
“And I knew these stairs were freakishly wide!”, added Electric Sky, “It only makes sense they were designed for a creature of this size.”
“Argh! Now is not the time for your scientific…”
“Behind me, Miss Star Swirl!”
While we were all busy arguing, Emerald Ray had already taken action. It was a good thing too, as it spurned the rest of us to do the same. Although ‘action’ in Lilly Blossom and Bumblesweet’s cases mostly consisted of them running around screaming, Levee was nowhere to be seen and I didn’t see how Emerald Ray standing between me and a creature ten times his size was going to solve anything.
“Don’t worry everypony, this is just organized chaos!”, Electric Sky assured us, though I could tell it was mostly for her own benefit. “We’ve still got time to…”
Cerberus’ blood-chilling roar filled the air. All three heads were fully in view now, and all only inches away from Emerald Ray’s face. And yet he still remained where he was, unmoving. In hindsight, I guess it made sense, I’ve heard deer have been known to do that in the face of danger. But in their case, it’s usually out of fear. I sensed no fear in Emerald Ray. If anything, it was more like the exact opposite.
“Face me, beast, and…”
It was over in an instant, though not in the way either of us expected. Cerberus had leapt right over our heads, landed with a crash behind me, and ran on towards our other companions.
“Well…”, said Emerald Ray sheepishly, “that didn’t go quite as I’d hoped.”
“Yaaaaaaah!”
We didn’t have time to relax, the beast now had a clear run to Electric Sky. But no matter how we looked at it, there was no way we could get to her in time.
“Ponyfeathers! He’s faster than I expected. Come on, think, think! There must be a way out of this…” Electric Sky’s speech became increasingly more rapid and panicked as her attacker came closer.
“No, no, it can’t end like this. We can’t fall here… wait! Fall! That’s it!” She consciously suppressed her horn’s usual ‘eureka glow’ to save time, and darted to the edge of the stairway. She threw her body over the side, grabbing the very edge with her front hooves just as Cerberus passed her. Electric Sky had found the one refuge from the beast’s massive bulk. She breathed a sigh of relief… before realising she hadn’t planned what to do next.
“Umm… a little help here, girls.”
“Just jump”, came that oh-so-familiar voice from down below. “It’s really not that far to the bottom.”
Knowing she was safe (or at least I hoped so), I could turn my attention to those next in line to meet Cerberus.
“Oh dear. Oh dear dear dear. Nice doggy, good doggyEeep!”
The speed at which Lilly Blossom went from cowering in terror to deftly dodging Cerberus’ paw was astonishing. Soon she was darting between the creature’s thrashing heads while it pawed and chomped ineffectually at the air.
“Just stay calm, and imagine this is just a dance routine…”
“Lilly Blossom!”, interrupted Bumblesweet with a tone of urgency, “I know you’re good at this, really, but this isn’t helping us get away…”
In an instant, Cerberus turned its six-eyed gaze away from the lavender Pegasus and on to the yellow earth pony below with a loud snort.
“Uh-oh.”
Something had prompted the beast to switch targets. But as it lunged at Bumblesweet her Pegasus friend and dashed to the side, shoving them both off the edge. It must have been a reflex but… I gasped as the realisation hit me; Lilly Blossom had told us earlier she couldn’t support another pony’s weight. It seemed she’d realised too.
“Oh deaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!”
My magical research told me now would be the perfect time for a levitation spell, but of course I was in no position to actually do one. All I could do was watch, helplessly as…
“I GOT THIS!”
Levee swooped in with a flash and snatched Lilly Blossom’s cargo. Without the extra weight, the lavender pegasus was free to gently glide to the floor below. I thanked Celestia we’d found a second pegasus.
With the others all having made their way down in some way of another, Emerald Ray and I galloped down the remaining stairs to join them. Levee was right, it really wasn’t that far. Unfortunately, the moment we arrived we were greeted by a panicked yell that almost put Cerberus’ to shame.
“WhatTookYouSoLongComeOnComeOnWeNeedToGetThroughTheGateNOWBEFOREITCOMESBAAAAACK!”
Electric Sky’s mane was in more disarray, as if that were possible, and she was sweating profusely. Actually, we pretty much all were by this point. Well, except one.
“Relax everypony”, came Levee’s voice, still as optimistic as ever, “if that big doggy is as dumb as he looks, he’ll keep running up those stairs not knowing we’re even gone.”
An almighty crash reverberated through the room, and the earth below us lurched violently. We all gulped, none of us wanting to turn around, but knowing we had no choice…
“Oooooh wow, I guess he’s not as dumb as he looks.”
Everypony resumed running around screaming. Each of Cerberus’ heads sniffed around at the air, eventually converging on a single spot. As spot occupied by a honey-coloured earth pony. Bumblesweet screamed even louder and ran even faster.
“GIRLS! Could one of you please tell me WHY IS IT GOING FOR ME!!”
“Perhaps I assigned the bodyguard to the wrong pony.”, said Electric Sky.
Soon enough Bumblesweet was backed into a corner. Emerald Ray had lunged at the creature’s back leg and chomped down on it, but if Cerberus felt anything beyond mere annoyance, he certainly didn’t show it.
“No, please! I taste terrible, really! Get back!”
Cerberus’ first head lunged. Bumblesweet rolled to the side.
“Bumblesweet!” Lilly Blossom tried to fly to her friend’s aid, but her earlier stunt had taken a tool on her body, and it would not listen to her.
Cerberus’ second head lunged. This its target wasn’t quite as fast. The creature’s maw struck the side of Bumblesweet’s saddle, knocking loose a glass jar which spilled its golden contents on the ground. The pony herself was knocked reeling. She knew she didn’t have the strength to dodge a third time.
Bumblesweet closed her eyes… the third head lunged and…
Began lapping up the spilled contents of the jar. The other two soon joined in. The beast game a low growl of contentment. We all breathed a sigh of relief. Except Lilly Blossom, who had already fainted.
Those of us still conscious rushed to Bumblesweet’s side. “Are you okay?”
“Yes.. I… I am quite alright dears”, she said as she scraped herself off the ground. She gazed at the creature that had recently towered over her. “But I never knew dogs liked honey.”
“Well”, I told her, “Cerberus isn’t exactly a normal dog. It’s safe to say its eating habits are also… abnormal.”
“Are you sure it’s… good for him?” I was shocked. Bumblesweet’s tone showed a genuine… concern for the thing that very nearly killed her.
‘It’s probably fine.” I didn’t know, of course, but I wanted to reassure her.
Cerberus didn’t seem to notice us at all. Its full attention was now directed at feasting on Bumblesweet’s home-made honey.
“You know…”, I began, “things didn’t go… quite as planned, but look! We distracted Cerberus without actually harming him, exactly what we set out to do! Great job everypony!”
My comrades each gave an exhausted pant of appreciation. I turned to the enormous iron-barred gate at the other end of the room.
“Now all we need to do is go through this gate before Cerberus notices us again and…”
I pushed at the iron frame with my hooves. It would not budge.
“It’s locked. We’re doomed.”
“CERBERUS IS ALMOST THROUGH THE HONEY!”, informed Electric Sky, loudly.
“Relax dears”, said Bumblesweet and took out another jar from her saddle bags. “I’ve got plenty more where that came from.” She trotted over to the creature and poured the contents at its feet, remembering to save the jar this time.
“Okay, no need to panic”, I said to myself, “we just have to find some way to unlock the impregnable gates of Tartarus before we run out of honey jars. Nothing to worry about…”
“Engine grease… dragon sweat…”
“Huh?”
“Eyeglass cleaner… spare scooter wheel… spare scooter jet booster… spare micro fusion reactor gem circuit…”
It seemed like Electric Sky was going through the contents of her saddle bags. But unless she had some kind of turbo unlocking device…
“…Prototype unlocking device… AHA! There we go!”
Oh come on.
Electric Sky’s horn gleamed once again in the darkness. “Brace yourself everypony”, she began overdramatically, “for I am just about to be brilliant! I must thank you, Star Swirl. Without your input, I would never have been able to finish this.”
She produced a small metal object from her bag. So this must have been the device she was working on when I bumped into her that evening. It was a tiny little thing, so small you could fit it in one hoof and still have plenty of room to spare. One end was noticeable more bulky than the other, I could make out a few of those round devices we had seen in the ruins earlier, and one of those glass orbs depicted in its creator’s Cutie Mark. From this end extended a thin metal rod, almost like a key, only… without the bits on the end. And on top of the device was what looked like… a miniature rotor blade?
“I’d advise you all”, she warned us, “to stand away from the gate. I haven’t tested it since I made the modifications you inspired.” She tossed the device into the air and gave it a jolt of energy from her horn. The rotor spun to life, and the tiny thing floated its way up to the gate’s massive keyhole.
With the air of a true mad scientist, Electric Sky yelled “Now, witness the true power of the UnlockMaster 5000!!! (Patent pending)”
With that, the device inserted itself into the keyhole and fired several short pulses of light. It paused for about a minute, then repeated the process. I saw now just how my idea had been applied.
Then I noticed Electric Sky had put on her goggles and was now covering her ears with her hooves. That didn’t bode well. We all did the same, minus the goggles, and braced ourselves.
But all we heard was a loud “KER-CHUNK!”, and the iron barred gates groaned open. There was silence for a moment, until it was broken by a surprising squeal of glee.
“It works! It works! I did it!”, Electric Sky yelled as she pranced about the room. “My device can open that gates of Tartarus!!!!”
She paused, then repeated in quite the opposite tone. “Wait. My device… can open the gates of Tartarus.”
Said device had only just returned to her. Immediately, she threw it to the ground and began stomping on it, repeatedly.
“GAH! Die! Die! DieDieDieDieDiediediediediediediediedieDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!”
The invention that looked as if it had taken a painstaking amount of work to build was now a pile of barely recognisable powder. Its creator turned to us, and said:
“Get me the dragon sweat from my bag. I’m gonna need to burn my blueprints.”
We all laughed, though we knew she was being perfectly serious. Then it hit me.
“Um, girls, don’t you think we should be, you know, going now?”
With that, we all dashed through the gates, dragging the unconscious Lilly Blossom with us. Just as we were through, they groaned shut once again. I had no idea how we were going to get back now, but we’d cross that bridge when we came to it.
“Woah, that was intense!”, said Levee. “This place has already earned itself four skulls. Four. Skulls. I haven’t given anywhere that many since that time I…”
We stopped. I could have sworn I heard a noise… and I was right. It was a low whimper. Three, to be exact. We turned to see three heads drooped sadly, as two paws reached out through the bars of the gate behind us. I’ll tell you now; seeing puppy-dog-eyes coming from three heads at once was an experience I’ll never forget.
“Aww, poor little doggy.”, said Levee.
Bumblesweet turned and gave us almost the same look. With our nod of approval, she tossed another jar back through the gate. All three heads beamed in delight as the creature leapt at the gift.
“Just remember”, Bumblesweet called back as we left, “don’t go visiting Ponyville for more!”