A Small Crash Landing
Shadow was shaken out of his Zen-like preparation state by his brother’s voice, “You ready yet porcupine head? It’s taking you forever to ‘warm up’.”
Shadow just looked to his brother and laughed, “Of course Grave, if I didn’t warm up I might get a cramp. Heh heh.”
Grave started chuckling at his brother’s stupid joke. “Plus if I screw this up it could destroy the Earth, you know electromagnetic fields shouldn’t be messed with and such.”
“Well yeah but you’re aiming it at me” Grave replied with a sly grin.
Shadow grinned back at Grave, “You ready for this bro?”
“Since the day I was born. Hmm, that’s a little cliché, can we do it again?” Shadow just laughed at his brother and prepared to raise himself into the air.
One day Shadow was watching the Mythbusters tornado episode and wondered how much power could a tornado could generate. This thought left Shadow to wonder how much power he could harness from a tornado. He figured that he could probably kill the Shadow Lord, destroy the planet, or both.
Shadow then flew up into the clouds while thinking, ‘I hope Grave is really ready for this, It could kill him, I have to make sure I hold back’ he started spinning faster than a centrifuge used to train astronauts. He had at least forty-one g’s of pressure on him but Shadow was a lot tougher than your average human.
Eventually the vortex had formed around Shadow and he knew it was now or never. He started flying down, the sound barrier just now catching up to the supersonic speed at which Shadow was travelling, sounding like millions of bombs going off at once. Once Shadow was nearing the ground he stopped spinning and rode with the power of the tornado, forcing all the energy into his palm. Shadow then sensed something was wrong, his vision started to go black, his legs felt like they were about to be ripped off, and his palm felt as if it was going to be burned away. Before Shadow could stop however there was a giant boom Shadow felt something hit him from behind, his unconscious body was left falling.
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Grave was watching Shadow fly down and started preparing himself for the hit that was coming. During the last couple of seconds he felt something wrong but just brushed it off with his usual recklessness. Grave then closed his eyes and tensed up as much as possible preparing for the punch. Ten seconds after Shadow should have hit him he still felt nothing. He opened his eyes and Shadow was gone, seemingly vanishing. ‘Where’d that bastard go?’ Grave thought, staring at the space Shadow had occupied before he had closed his eyes.
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Shadow was blacked out and falling fast, his momentum from his experiment aiding in his quick descent. As he was falling a line of smoke trailed behind him, some of the inhabitants of this world that happened to be staring at the sky thought he was a Wonderbolt. Shadow then crashed into the ground, sliding for twenty feet before his now slightly charred body came to a rest. Shadow’s impromptu entrance caused much confusion for the inhabitants of a nearby town. They knew a Wonderbolt never crashed unless something was seriously wrong.
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Shadow woke up in a strange place and looked around. He thought he could hear voices and quickly quieted down as he looked to make sure his sword was still hanging from his belt. He heard a feminine voice that slightly resembled the Doc’s, with that southern twang of hers. This must be the newly refurnished room Flames had told him about, it was a lot more rustic than he would’ve thought. Not to mention the bright green and brown color scheme. He stretched and walked out saying, “Hey Doc, got any pills for my headache?”
He then looked around the room but only found two horses. ‘Seem too small to be horses though’ their mouths were hanging open at him in surprise, and Shadow’s was left slightly ajar upon noticing their colors. One was a three to four foot tall light orange colored horse with a honey yellow mane wearing an old Stetson, the other was a four to five foot tall horse that was bright red with an orange colored mane, and he was wearing what looked like a harness. The both of them had bright green eyes and strange marks on their flanks, both concerning apples. “I don’t think I’m in Kansas anymore.” Shadow said while laughing at his own stupid joke.
He smiled and looked around the room looking for the owners of the home. All he saw was pictures of ponies, and then the orange one turned to the red one and simply stated, “Big Mac, I think it’s awake.”
Shadow recoiled slightly, his confusion obvious to the horses, of course they probably weren’t horses, judging from the fact they could talk. “So, you can talk. That’s just great, what the hell did the Doc do to me after I blacked out?” Shadow muttered to himself under his breath.
“Um hun, are you okay?” asked the creamsicle colored one.
Shadow just stared at her not sure if she was joking or not, “Yeah, I’m just great. I have no clue where I am and not to mention the fact that I am speaking to A HORSE!!! I’m more than likely hallucinating due to some crazy new drug she’s testing.” Shadow buried his head in his hands and sighed loudly.
“We ain’t no horses stranger, we’re ponies.” said the red and obviously male pony.
Shadow looked up at the pony, “Oh yeah that makes perfect sense, ponies that can talk.” Shadow said with the most sarcasm he could muster at this time, which was quite a lot considering his current mental state.
“Well ya don’t have tah be mean about it.” said the other pony, it seemed like he had gone a little too far judging from her tone but he didn’t care, he just continued on.
“Well let’s see how you would react if you woke up not knowing where the hell you were or how the hell you got there!!” Shadow raged at the orange pony, only adding to her irritation.
Shadow then saw something metal flash forward and hit him in the face, surprising him. He jumped back and had his hand on his sword in fractions of a second. “Watch your language! That’s no way tah be speakin’ in this house.” said the pony who had just hit him in the face.
“What? I can’t cuss?! That’s bullshit! And why the hell did you hit me, I don’t even know what the fuck is going on?” Shadow yelled at the orange pony, anger flaring at her audacity.
“Stranger if you don’t settle down Ih’ma have to make yah settle down.” The larger red pony said to Shadow.
Shadow looked at the red pony with curiosity and anger flashing across his usually guarded expression. “You don’t know who the hell you’re talking to buddy.” Shadow said, wanting to test the strength of these ponies.
Shadow knew he could take both ponies in a fight without even drawing his sword. That orange one was pretty strong and no doubt the red one was stronger, but neither as strong or fast as himself. Shadow sighed, why couldn’t things ever go right for him? Why couldn’t these ponies leave him to his own tendencies? Did they have to annoy the shit out of him?
The red pony regarded Shadow with his own look of anger and opened his mouth to probably tell Shadow off. Before he could however, the door blew open and a small yellow pony with a red mane and a dark pink bow in her hair stood there beaming. “Applejack can I meet the alien?” the small pony said, not even noticing the tension in the room or the fighting stance that Shadow and the large pony had taken up.
He stared dumbly at the tiny figure of, “Applebloom! I told you to wait in your room!” the orange pony yelled angrily.
Shadow’s anger dissipated at the thought that came to mind. Shadow grinned wickedly and decided right then and there that what he was about to was stupid and was probably gunna get him chased out of town, but goddammit he was going to do it. “Ooh I see you brought me dinner. I was starting to get hungry, thank you for your hospitality.” Shadow pulled it off perfectly, even getting the evil maniacal laugh down.
There were three distinct smacks as all three ponies’ jaws hit the floor. Shadow just stood there with the best evil grin he could muster watching the scene unfold in front of him. The two ponies he had been talking to, the orange one Shadow assumed was Applejack, and the red one jumped in front of Applebloom. Applebloom was quivering in fear behind her assumed siblings, “Yur not gunna lay a finger on my sister you evil beast!”
‘Score one for me!’ Shadow thought, always keeping a tab on when he was right. Shadow sat there trying his hardest not to laugh his ass off, not exactly obvious to the ponies who were waiting for him to make a move. He took a step forward and they flinched. He couldn’t take it anymore.
Shadow was suddenly on the floor laughing harder than when he played that Slenderman joke on Aqua. He had tears streaming down his face and his sides felt like they were gunna explode, it was like laughing gas times ten. Shadow calmed himself down to giggles but one look at the ponies’ faces and he was back on the floor rolling around like a Magikarp. After a couple of minutes Shadow had reduced himself to snickers while the three ponies stared at him with a look of severe contempt, “You done yet mister?” coming from the Stetson wearing pony.
Shadow sighed loudly, one of those happy sighs though, like when something is so awesome or funny you can only sigh. It helped calm him a little more, “Why yes in fact I am. That was some of my best work yet, I’ll be here all week ladies and gentleman.”
The ponies stared at him incredulously, “Applejack did he just say-“ “Yes he did Applebloom, go to your room now.”
Shadow wasn’t exactly sure what he did wrong, besides threatening to eat the smaller pony. Maybe it was the ladies and gentleman thing ‘I do suppose ponies would be called something else.’ The small pony backed out of the room staring at Shadow the whole time. “I get the feeling I did something wrong, I thought that I was still allowed to make smart-ass comments. I mean that’s what I do all the time.” the gathered ponies stared at him as if he were talking about his plans to summon the Flying Spaghetti Monster, may all be touched by His Noodly Appendage.
Applebloom decided to not go to her room and instead peer into the room from right outside the door. This was just too interesting. “You said ladies and gentleman, do you mean fillies and gentlecolts?” the brother asked Shadow, looking only slightly stunned.
“YEAH! Shadow wins again. Stop looking at me weird, you know at least one time in your life you talked about yourself in third person.” Shadow gleefully yelled at the stunned looking ponies.
Applejack and her brother gave each other an unbelieving glance. Shadow simply stared at the two, waiting on them to say or do something. He only had to wait a few moments, “What in the hay are you talking about?”
“Oh it’s nothing. Don’t worry about it. Truly don’t, you’ll just get a headache and I don’t need anyone going on about their head hurting too much because of me,” Shadow was pretty bored by now, nothing in this conversation could compare to the hilarity of the joke he had pulled.
The ponies were starting to doubt this strange creature’s sanity, “So are you gunna try and hurt any of us?” Applejack asked with a look of concern and skepticism clear on her face.
Shadow smiled and considered screwing with them some more but the serious part off his mind told him it was a seriously bad idea. He shook his head thoroughly before answering, “Not unless one of you intends to hurt me. And I am an adult, I have the right to speak as I wish, which includes cussing if I damn well please.”
Both ponies sighed in exasperation, “If ya want tah curse like a sailor pony that’s up tah you but I don’t want ya doing it in my house, understood?” this Applejack was pretty adamant about him not cussing wasn’t she?
‘Wait did she say this was her house? Brain can’t handle information, time to take a break.’ Shadow just stared at the ponies as they stared back, expecting him to speak. After several moments of awkward staring Applejack cleared her throat. ‘Alright, vacations over. Time for Brain to work again.’ Shadow tilted his head upwards, “Did you say it was your house? As in you own it?” he asked surprise in his voice
“Well yeah. Ah’ll introduce us. Ahm Applejack and this here is mah brother, Big Macintosh. The little pony sittin’ outside the door is Applebloom.” Shadow was surprised by the tone of friendliness in the pony’s voice considering the fact that he was about to beat the living shit out of her brother and that he joked about eating her sister. This pony was tough… or stupid.