Chapter 3
Our Number One Test Is Your Number Two
The door flew open. Twilight shoved her way through with Rainbow Dash close behind, levitating in the air. She spun around to make sure that the pegasus had made it through, and then bolted forwards, heading in the direction of the hospital. The rain cascaded onto the cobblestones as Twilight galloped in between ponies and through narrow streets. To increase her speed, she would teleport to a spot a little bit beyond where she was, not even stopping to take a breath before she continued running.
Eventually, she met the warm glow of the hospital. She burst through the doors, accidentally hitting a passerby, and raced forwards to the desk. She was screaming the whole way to the hospital, but she didn't realize it until just then. "Help! Help! My friend! Help! Please!" Doctors and nurses raced into the lobby with a bed on wheels. They grasped the pegasus in their hooves and laid her gently on the bed. Twilight took several steps back to get out of their way. The doctors shouted orders at the nurses while they quickly pushed the bed down the hall and out of sight.
And with that, Twilight Sparkle was alone with her thoughts. Tears began to stream down her face. Her weeping echoed across the room. She tried to hold the tears and sobs back, but it only made them worse. A nurse came over and sat down on the bench next to her. The nurse placed her hoof around the crying Twilight, trying to console her.
"There there. We'll get her feeling better soon, don't you worry. It's okay."
Twilight's tears stopped for a quick moment. She brought her hooves down from her eyes and threw them angrily into the air. "No it's not! It's not okay!" She turned towards the nurse. "I caused this! I could've prevented this! It's all my fault! I let one of my dear friends get hurt all over some stupid lights! How could I let that happen?"
"Shhh, shhh, it's not your fault," the nurse cooed.
"No, you don't understand, it is! I was so worried over how much freaking industrious Ponyville was but at the expense of what? My friend is dying back there! I put her there! I could've listened to her, taken her out of that wretched machine, but I didn't listen!" Twilight knocked over a nearby potted plant. Silence came over the lobby as Twilight cried more. Eventually, she came out of her sobs to say, much calmer now, "I was too worried over how great Equestria and Ponyville were that I ignored and neglected one of the reasons I love this place so much. I forced my friend to do this, and now look at her. Now she's going to die at my hand. All because of some freaking poop in a freaking bowl."
The nurse couldn't say anything now. She was stunned. This was one unicorn that could not be consoled. She simply kept her hoof on Twilight's shoulder and every once in a while tried to calm her down by shushing her.
Twilight was calming down, but her words were the same. "I caused all of this. This is all my fault." She raised a hoof and pointed generally at the hall where the doctors took Rainbow Dash. "It's all my-" She was interrupted by her own sobbing.
~~~
Twilight awoke to the sound of a doctor's soothing voice. "Ms. Sparkle," he said as her eyes started to flutter open, "Ms. Sparkle, I have news about your friend."
Twilight sat upright on the cushioned bench where she had spent the night. She blinked her eyes open as the stench of sterilization hit her nostrils. She quickly hopped off the bench and faced the doctor. "What's the news?"
"Your friend's fine. She had a seizure, but she's recovering. We're keeping her overnight just to monitor her."
It was better news than Twilight expected, but she felt the need to inquire further. "What caused the seizure?"
"Some fluid found its way into a body cavity next to her liver, but there was no perceived damage. We'll be running tests to make sure everything's all right."
The load of Twilight's guilt from last night piled back on her shoulders. She caused Rainbow Dash not only to be stuck inside her death-trap of a machine for two weeks, but she also caused her to be stuck at this hospital. She forced back tears as she quietly asked, "Can I go in and see her?"
"Certainly. We've contacted some of her other friends, if you would like to wait for them."
"No, I need to do this alone." Twilight walked past the doctor into the long hallway Rainbow was rolled the night before. She glanced in each room, feverishly and reluctantly looking for her friend. She wanted to - needed to - apologize, but she didn't want to do it at the same time. Rainbow would never forgive her. How could she? She'd imprisoned her for two weeks, practically tortured her with strange medications for the two months before that, and, by refusing to let her out, she caused her to be stabbed by a needle in a dangerously wrong spot, causing her to have a seizure.
Who could forgive her? Nopony in their right mind would want to even come close to her. How could she live with herself? She'd taken her dear friend and reduced her to what, an epileptic test subject gone wrong? What would she even say to the pegasus? How could she even face her after all that she'd done to her? How could she apologize for what she did?
Filled with loathing and guilt, Twilight finally found the room Rainbow Dash was in. A small heart monitor pulsed regularly, sending a piercing peep throughout the room. Rainbow was laying down, turned to face the wall opposite Twilight. She cautiously entered the room, trying not to disturb her friend. She quietly stepped on the linoleum, but Rainbow still heard her. Not moving from her position, the pegasus asked, "Is that you, Twilight?" It was cold. Tears welled in Twilight's eyes. Unsure of what to say, she just stood there, desperately searching for words she knew would never come. Rainbow's voice echoed through the room again, "Well, is it?"
Twilight cleared her throat before responding, "Yes. It's- It's me."
"Are you here to put me back in that machine?"
The pegasus' voice pierced Twilight's heart. She couldn't take it anymore. She fell to her knees, groveling. "Rainbow Dash, I'm- I'm so incredibly sorry. I should never have done what I did to you, no one deserves that. I don't know what got into me. I was only looking for the great of Equestria; I was trying to improve it. But, in my attempt to make Equestria greater, I forgot the thing that made Equestria so great to me in the first place: my friends.
"I tortured you. I shoved those pills down your throat. I strapped you in that death trap of a machine and then wouldn't let you out when you begged me to. I betrayed you. I used you. No, I abused you. I should never have done that, any of that. I treated you like cattle. I treated you like I was your puppet master, pulling the strings that controlled your sanity. I did all of it, and for what? A couple of factories? Electric lights? Things were fine the way they were before. I actually prefer candles, I was just caught up in the electric craze. Those engines were replacing jobs anyway.
"I'm just so, sorry, Rainbow Dash. I'm sorry. I feel terrible. I have ice in my soul and it won't melt. I'm sorry. And I know that you'll never be able to forgive me after all I did to you, but I just have one thing to ask, just one thing: don't hate me. You can stop being my friend. You can snub me for the rest of your life. But please, don't hate me. Please. Don't hate me. Please."
Rainbow Dash was facing Twilight now. SHe had a dead look in her eyes that was quickly replaced with empathy. After a long pause while the unicorn in front of her cried her eyes out, Rainbow responded, "Twilight, I- I forgive you."
Twilight went silent. She slowly lifted her head up to face Rainbow. "You what?" she asked, thinking she heard incorrectly.
"I forgive you."
"Why- How?"
Rainbow took a deep breath. "I've done a lot of thinking over the past couple hours. I've decided that it's all water under the bridge. You can't go back and change it, right? So, there's really no point in whining about it. So, I'm willing to put it all behind us, if you get rid of that machine. I don't want to even think about it ever again."
Twilight was shocked. She managed to stammer out, "It is done," before continuing, "Rainbow Dash, this is a side of you I've never seen before. You've really matured over the past couple of years, haven't you?"
Rainbow thought about this for a moment. "I guess I have. Now, if you'll excuse me. I have to drop some kids off at the pool." The pegasus threw the covers off her body, revealing a green hospital gown. She sat up, and swiveled her legs over the edge of the bed.
"Are you sure you should be getting out-?"
"I will not be confined," she said coldly. Twilight backed away a step as Rainbow focused on her hoof. She yanked the heart rate monitor strap off, causing the machine to make a continuous beep. She trotted into the restroom located in her room leisurely and slammed the door behind her. Twilight scooted next to the door.
"Maybe, after a few weeks, we'll go back to the way things were at the beginning. No diet, no pills, you would just come in every time the urge hits you. Of course, if that would be all right with you, Rainbow."
From the other room, Rainbow chimed in, "Yeah, sure. Why not?" There was some scuffling of hooves, and then the door flung open. "Actually, no. I won't be able to Twilight."
"Why not?"
"Because my poop is normal."
~~~
"Yes, it's from the injection in the body cavity. The fluid, when injected inside the liver works perfectly fine as a laxative-type substance, when exposed to the outer layers of the tissue, works as a toxin. I'm afraid that your genetic mutation will no longer function." The doctor stood in the room, holding an image of the area surrounding Rainbow's liver. He studied it, and then put it back into the manilla folder.
"Well I guess that's that, Twilight. No more poop, no more free energy. Sorry." Rainbow put her hoof around Twilight who sat on the floor next to the bed. She looked at the floor, despondent. The gears in her head were turning, however, developing an idea.
She raised a hoof. "Wait a minute, did you say, genetic mutation?"
"That's the only feasible explanation. It also explains why she is so adept at performing sonic rainbooms."
Rainbow Dash looked at the doctor with disgust. "That's what those rainbooms are made out of? Poop!"
Twilight raised a hoof at Rainbow this time. "Wait, Dash, you don't understand. It's a genetic mutation." The gears were at full speed now. The plan was brilliant, if the participants were willing to comply, and she didn't see any reason why they wouldn't. She lifted her head as an epiphany breached her troubled mind. "I have an idea. I need to make a phone call."
~~~
"Twilight, why is Soarin' here?" Rainbow Dash asked, motioning towards her boyfriend standing next to her as she lay in the hospital bed. Twilight had entered the room briskly, muttering something under her breath. Her attention was immediately drawn upwards to Rainbow and Soarin'.
"Yeah, why did you call me?" Soarin' asked as he rested his hoof on Rainbow's.
"Excellent questions!" Twilight beamed. "And they will be answered, I can assure you. I have an idea that will change the way this world works. You could be celebrities, the couple of the century. Even more famous than Shining Armor and Princess Cadence. Even more famous than-"
"Just get on with it." Soarin' called out.
"Fine. Okay, get this. The doctor said that your ability to excrete polychromatic defecation is due to a genetic mutation. Right?"
"Yes," Rainbow nodded.
"And genetic mutations are usually dominant, yes?"
"I guess," Soarin' shrugged.
"And you two have been dating for a while now, am I correct?"
"You are," Rainbow agreed.
"And it's the middle of April. Do you see where I'm going with this?"
"No," both pegasi replied at once.
"Do you know what happens in the middle of April?"
"Spring?" Soarin' suggested.
"No, in pony culture what happens?"
There was a long pause. Silence hung in the air for a long while before Rainbow Dash guessed hopefully, "Spring?"
"No!" Twilight began pacing about the front of the room. "How can I explain this more plainly?" She did a couple of turns before briskly swinging around, facing the couple once more. "Here, let's see if this makes more sense.
"When a mare and a stallion love each other very much..."