Chapter I: Celestia
Nightmare Moon was finally defeated. Since Discord, Equestria had never seen such terror. In one last desperate battle Princess Celestia managed to save Equestria from being plunged into eternal darkness. The sun rose again for the first time in almost two weeks. Harmony was restored. Why wouldn’t everypony want to celebrate? Parades and parties were being held in Celestia’s honor all over the country, but every last one of them had a special guest of honor missing. Princess Celestia was nowhere to be found.
The Princess resigned herself from the festivities. There would be no grand speeches or retellings of that last fateful battle. Not even at the main festival currently being held in Canterlot. All of the praise she received today rang hollow in her ears. If she listened to one more pony singing her praise then she’d likely burst into tears on the spot. This couldn’t be allowed no matter how much she wanted to. She needed to keep a brave face for her little ponies. They would require a strong leader to guide them through the times ahead and she would do her best to fit that role. Nopony could know about the hurt she felt when she banished Nightmare Moon to the moon for one thousand years. Because despite of everything that Nightmare Moon did, deep down inside, she was still her beloved little sister, Luna.
She banished her own sister and still everypony praised her for her actions! It was too cruel, but she couldn’t tell them to stop. Nopony except her knew about the true identity of Nightmare Moon. This is exactly as it would stay. She wouldn’t allow her sister’s name to be tarnished because she couldn’t handle their praise. So she’d bear this burden as best she could. Only when she found herself alone would she allow the tears to fall.
Quietly Celestia sat by the edge of a lake just outside of Canterlot. The whoops and hollers of celebration were faint, but she could still hear them. The noise made her feel sick to her stomach. Even out here she couldn’t find sanctuary. For hours she didn’t stir or make a sound. Everything became cast in an orange glow, but the beauty wouldn’t find an audience with her. That glow meant that soon she’d have to raise the moon, Luna’s moon.
“Was there something I could’ve done to stop you?” Celestia asked peering up into the heavens. “How did we end up like this dear sister?”
She could remember the day her parents brought home a small foal swallowed by an oversized blanket. Luna giggled at her approach. For some reason her heart raced as she got closer. What if her little sister didn’t like her? But her fears were short lived. She felt an immediate connection form between the two of them the moment she laid eyes on her sister.
“You were such a happy foal. I wish you could’ve stayed that way. I still know your first word. Wow this makes me feel old! You’d tried to say my name, but all you could ever pronounce was Tia.” Celestia found herself amused by the memory. That little nickname stuck with her throughout life and became the catalyst to the most important promise that she ever made.
“No matter what I will be there for you,” she recited quietly. What a simple and heartfelt promise. It should’ve been easy to keep right?
As her older sister, she felt a duty to protect her. But often it is the most important promises made that end up being broken. If she knew about the consequences of her actions beforehand then she would’ve tried harder. Shouldn’t she of tried harder regardless? Youth had blinded her. How could she have known that her failure would cause her sister’s descent into darkness?
“Luna I tried to keep my promise to you.” She looked at her reflection in the clear lake water. If she didn’t know any better she would’ve said that her reflection glared at her. She sighed. “No I didn’t. Sister do you remember the day I was assigned to raise the sun? My nerves were getting the better of me that day, but then you came into my room and do you remember what you said to me? You said, ‘Someday I hope to be like you Tia!’” Her lips curved into a brief smile. “I never told you this, but your words gave me the confidence to perform my task. I should’ve told you.
“Luna, you don’t want to be like me. I became so enraptured by my own glory that I didn’t see the pain I was causing you. You have to believe me; I never intended to hurt you! Yet even when you confronted me I still couldn’t see your pain. Though maybe I could and was just trying to turn a blind eye.”
The first time Luna confronted her about the sun’s favoritism was on the day of the first Summer Sun Celebration. A day set in honor for her sun bringing light and warmth to the land. Before that day she never realized just how much all the ponies loved her. The adoration from the crowds intoxicated her.
At some point Luna pulled her aside to address her concerns about the overt praise of the sun and the negligence of the moon. “‘Aren’t the sun and the moon supposed to be equals?’” The words her sister had said rang true in her ears. Why shouldn’t she have her own celebration too? It would only be fair.
“I told you that I would have a talk with everypony. I told you that I would make them see the value of your night. I said all of this, but I never followed through. I was under such a high from all of the praise that I… I dismissed your concerns to nothing but petty jealousy! It was so wrong of me. In the end, I had absolutely no attention of speaking to our citizens! Not a day, week, or month later. Not ever!” Celestia paused shaken by her own words. Did she really never intend to tell anypony about her sister’s concerns?
Looking back she could see the sorrow etched subtly in her sister’s face. It both amazed and horrified her to know that she suppressed seeing something so obvious for so long. Couldn’t she have done something to comfort her sister? “I… you deserve better than me. I failed you. I don’t deserve to be your sister.” She felt tears rolling off her cheeks. “I have a confession to make. A time came when even in my forced obliviousness I could no longer chock up your concerns as nothing but jealousy. I saw how everypony kept treating you, but I still didn’t act. Even after the night I saw you sitting on your room’s balcony.”
Every night she’d pass by her sister’s bedroom door en-route to her own room. That night hadn’t been different. Her bed’s covers were calling out to her with the promise of a warm embrace. However, something interrupted her before she could answer their call. Her sister’s normally closed door was ajar ever so slightly. Simple curiosity drove her to peer inside. This is when she saw Luna. Her sister’s eyes appeared red and puffy, like she had been crying for a long time. This wasn’t the worst thing she saw though. No, the worst had to be that dejected expression as she gazed at the empty world below.
“I saw the effect of what everypony’s negligence was doing to you; I saw what my negligence was doing to you. Right then I should’ve done something. I should’ve hugged you on the spot. I could’ve apologized and finally acted like your big sister. Instead I left. Without a sound I closed your door and pretended that I didn’t see anything! That night I bet you decided to take matters into your own hooves didn’t you?
“Luna, did you know that after our fight the Elements of Harmony abandoned me like I abandoned you? I feel empty. Sister, without you I have no one. Is this what loneliness feels like? Did you feel this way when you sat on that balcony? I am truly sorry.” She sighed. “I… suppose my apology is too little too late isn’t it?”
Celestia remained aware of each second that passed. For each second dimmed her light and brought her one step closer to her greatest fear. Now the sun completely vanished beyond the horizon. Underneath the scrutiny of millions of stars the time arrived for the moon to rise, but she wasn’t ready!
“Please don’t make me do it! I… I can’t do this right now! Please… just a… just a little more time. Please.” She knew that her pleads were futile. Equestria needed the night and she had a job to do. Still it couldn’t hurt to try, right? The moon rose unhindered by her pleas. Just looking at it burned a hole into her being.
All of her strength was sapped from her body. She collapsed in despair. The moon reached its apex. On its surface she could see the monument to her greatest sin. A picture of her sister, carved into its surface. Her tears flowed freely and they wouldn’t stop.
“They say that time makes things better, but how can time heal the pain I’m feeling?” she asked barley louder than a whisper. “I did this to you!” she shouted. “It should be me up there. I should be punished not you! There are so many things that I would do differently. If I could give up my life, selfish it may be, I would. I’d do in a heartbeat to spend another minute with you! Luna I… I just want you to know that I love you and miss you. And I know I don’t deserve to ask this, but… please, can you ever forgive me?”