The sun began its course towards its zenith, already casting a soft, reddish light over the tranquil Ponyville, whose inhabitants were still fast asleep for the most part. That, however, was not true for Spike, who in spite of his new pony form still retained the instinct of rising early; a trait he had learnt during all those years with Twilight and which had allowed him to complete most of his daily chores before the pony even awoke. He had decided to prepare a tray for a bedside breakfast, making use of all his cooking expertise to give everything that little extra dash of taste. That had been more problematic than foreseen: the new Spike still had difficulties using pony-made tools with his hoof, resulting in a number of dangerous manoeuvres. Only after several failed attempts that had almost led to the destruction of several plates did he manage to put the garnish on and finish his work to his palate’s satisfaction.
Content, he tasted his opus one last time before taking it into his hoofs and walking towards the bedroom. Spike tried to cause as little noise as possible as he passed through stretches that were ridiculously overfilled with jetsam and flotsam, and therefore a danger to his balance. He reached his destination and gently pushed the door open to enter.
Here began his true challenge: he needed to approach the nightstand soundlessly — which meant avoiding all objects scattered all over the floor in a room that was already very dark, thanks to the heavy, closed curtains by the window.
He remained a couple of minutes in the doorframe to adjust his eyes to the feeble light; then he moved on, still very slowly and carefully. His efforts paid off when, all plates still whole, he reached the nightstand, which he gently cleared to make place for his tray.
He straightened up and wiped a bit of sweat from his forehead, pleased with the success of his first mission. He strode over to the curtains and parted them slightly; a narrow beam of sunlight shone through and brightened the room somewhat. He wanted the pony’s waking to be as perfect as it could be. On cat’s paws he approached the bed, intending to rouse the pony that lay there from her sleep, not without a small twinge in his heart when he saw the beauty in front of him: a mare plunged in the depths of an undisturbed slumber, her face calm and sweet, surrounded by an angel's halo of stray streaks of hair.
Spike remained a few minutes in almost religious contemplation, barely capable of accepting that this beautiful painting was real and not just some personal fantasy. Unfortunately, he had to put an end to it; he gently touched his muse’s shoulder, whispering her name into her ear. As she slowly opened her eyes, still not fully there, he decided to offer her his most beautiful smile, so that her day would begin the best way possib —
Rarity gave a start several metres high before emitting a shriek powerful enough to blast a unicorn’s horn off. As she fell back towards the bed, she involuntarily treated Spike to a right-cheek strike with her hoof, sending him flying towards the ground. Barely back on his feet, she seized her blanket and hurled it towards the purple pony, before rolling over to the bed’s other side. Still screaming, she started to use her horn’s powers to launch everything in reach towards Spike, from her needle cushion to handkerchiefs torn in pieces and books and sketches.
When throwing the latter turned out to be difficult, she grabbed a mannequin which she hurled towards him on a somewhat chaotic trajectory, seeing how the dresspony bounced back on a bedpost before shattering to pieces just inches from Spike, who was doing his best to dodge the shower of missiles.
“Miss... please... oops... there’s no need... to...”, tried to communicate Spike, dodging turn by turn a tape measure, a fashion magazine, roles of fabric, two mirrors and a broken chair. The shower of projectiles was anarchic but dangerous: he had no way of knowing when she would throw more fatal objects such as scissors or a frill dress.
In panic, Rarity reached for another object to hurl at the poor colt. Unfortunately for him, even though Opal’s basket landed by his feet without making contact, the cat herself landed on his back, mewling atrociously in protest. All her claws fully unsheathed, she clawed herself into Spike as though her ninth life depended on it. The pain made the colt rear up, only to get hit by a magnificent role of fabric squarely in the snout. Dazed, he bumped into the nightstand, throwing off Opal but getting showered in orange juice that had been posed on his breakfast tray.
"Headshot", Spike murmured before throwing himself behind the bed to shield himself.
Rarity continued her shrieks and still had a fair amount of things left to throw, which is why he felt the need to make the first move. He dodged another dresspony before catapulting himself out of his hiding place, right towards Rarity, with the intention of keeping her in check and talking some sense into her... first of all, to stop her fit of hysteria, seeing how the volume of her screams was loud enough to break the wall of sound. Even more freaked out by this unforeseen reaction, Rarity whirled around, reared up on her hind legs and threw her two forehoofs into the air, tearing them down just as Spike was about to land in his attempt to seize her. Her two hoofs hit him squarely in the flank, sending him back flying to his starting point, now two wonderfully red hoofmarks on his flank as a bonus.
The mare herself stumbled back and bumped into the shelf she used to store all her lotions and body care products. One of them fell and landed on her face, showering her with its contents and blinding her temporarily. She shrieked again and started to wildly flail her members in all directions to fend off her adversary... who was watching her from a distance of several feet, dumbstruck. With a desperate effort, he managed to jump on Rarity and pin her down to the ground, at the price of a new hoofstrike against his cheek and several other hits all over his body.
—“Get off, get off, GET OFFFFFFF!”
“But calm down, calm down, calm dooooooooown!” Spike replied, wiping Rarity’s eyes dry the best he could.
She stopped crying but continued to thrash about her members in every direction, trying to escape his grip; in her eyes, he had the intention of hurting her. Spike had to concede several movements, which led him to find himself muzzle-to-muzzle with Rarity, his legs between the beauty’s, their bodies conjoined. The position was highly suggestive; it didn't help that they both kept making small movements to try and gain an edge over their adversary, slightly bucking to and fro in the process, their foreheads covered in sweat now that the fight had calmed down somewhat.
It was precisely this moment Twilight chose to enter the bedroom. In front of her, a barely imaginable chaos unfolded, objects of all kinds strewn messily about all over the room without any discernible order, and two ponies struggling in a way that, from her point of view, seemed rather intimate.
“Err... Rarity?” she asked gently, afraid to disturb the two lovers. "I heard screams, so I was wondering if everything was alright... I’m not sure if I'm bothering you or...."
The pony in question snapped out of her struggle, realising how suggestive her position was. Concerned about her image, she forcefully tried to get up on her hooves, but Spike didn’t let her, afraid she might recommence her attacks on him.
“But do let me stand up, cub...”
“If you... if you calm down, Miss Rarity.”
“How do you kn... let me get up immediately, you ruffian!”
Almost reluctantly, Spike got off and distanced himself, leaving Rarity to get up on her hooves by herself. The adrenaline of the battle evaporated, his numerous bruises and bumps began to remind him of their painful existence. He went to examine them in closer detail, with the help of a mirror that had miraculously survived the whirlwind having ravaged this room. Well, at least his newfound purple coat did plenty to conceal the marks of their confrontation, blending them into his fur — but he missed his thick dragon scales.
The tension gone, he drooped his head in disappointment. All his work to keep up the magic of the night before was reduced to nothing, and Rarity apparently no longer remembered anything about their evening. He preferred to maintain the status quo and not make things even worse, so he put on a perfectly neutral expression before turning to face the two friends. Rarity was doing her very best to convince Twilight that what she had seen was not what it looked like, resorting to gestures and facial expressions. Her conversational partner, however, kept a rather sceptical look on her face in spite of the fashionista’s reassurances, sometimes throwing her looks so thick with innuendo that they made Rarity blush.
“But I'm telling you once again, Twilight, nothing has happened! Nothing, nothing at all.”
“So... I must be imagining the mess around here?”
“Not at all, darling, this is simply the result of a tiny... frenzy.”
“Then I don’t wanna know the results of a big frenzy”, Spike intervened groggily.
“At the very least, mister, be a true gentlecolt and tell my friend here that her assumptions have no correspondence whatsoever with the truth.”
He immediately regretted his intervention, since he now had to face Twilight’s scrutinising look... who apparently still hadn’t noticed his disappearance, a fact that scratched the dragon-pony’s ego somewhat. He needed to lie, but not too much, so as to stay in the realm of the believable.
“Me and Miss Rarity have indeed spent a night together, but there has been no... impropriety on our part. This morning’s episode is nothing but the result of an unfortunate misunderstanding, I assure you.”
His eloquent words, Spike thought proudly, were surely worthy of the most perfect gentlecolt of Equestria and would be sufficient to set an end to any kind of rumours. It amused him how he made nice with Twilight, who apparently didn't recognise him at all.
“So...”
“There's been nothing... carnal.”
“... okay.”
“Rarity, Rarity, RARITYYYYYY!”
That last voice didn't belong to either of them. “What now?” sighed Rarity.
It was a particularly overexcited, oversugared Pinkie Pie that had just entered Rarity’s bedroom.
“Hey Twilight, you’re here, too, that’s great, so you’ll be up to date too 'cause I really need to tell you guys something because if I didn't that wouldn't be sharing with the best friends in the whooooole wide world —"
“Pinkie, what’s the matter with you this morning?” Twilight interrupted her.
“Okay, so listen, this morning, I went over to Rainbow Dash’s, ‘cause you know, we were gonna pull pranks on everypony, and then I’m there on my way and what do I see? Applejack and Rainbow Dash kissing! Me, I was still hidden behind a shack so they couldn’t see me, but I’m sure it was them. And everypony was wondering whether they were together or not and they really are, that’s sooooooooooo great for them, can you believe it?"
“Err... Pinkie? Generally speaking, ponies with secret relationships don’t want everyone to know about them.”
“Oh, but don’t you worry, Twilight, I was so totally happy that I went over to Applejack’s right after Rainbow Dash left and I was there and I hugged her really close and told her how fantastic that was and she, well, she told me that if only her closest friends knew that’d be alright but the other ponies really needn’t know, so I promised that nopony but my friends would know anything about it."
“Yeah, but if you look that way, there’s somepony else with Rarity and, err... except for her, nopony knows him..."
Twilight’s remark stymied Pinkie, who let herself drop to the floor when she saw Spike. Without intending to, she had broken her sacrosanct rule of secrecy. Her mouth gaping, the eyes wide open, she stared at Spike, not knowing what to say in spite of her trembling lips.
“Don’t worry, I've heard absolutely nothing, Miss Pinkie. A gentlecolt owes it to himself to know when to listen, but also when not to listen, should it be necessary.”
“Rarity, are you still sure you don’t know this gallant stallion?”
Rarity turned away without saying anything, blushing strongly at Twilight’s insinuations.
“Because you see, Pinkie”, Twilight went on, “apparently, Applejack and Rainbow Dash aren’t the only ones to find their soulmate of late...”
“Oh, oh, go, go, tell me everything I need to know, this is gonna be even awesome-r if there’s another couple! Ah, wait, I know, I know, it’s you and Rarity, amirite, Twilight? Huh, huh, huh?”
“Err... not really.”
“Oh wait, don’t tell me, Rarity and our new friend, who I don’t even know yet!” With these words, she threw herself towards Spike and started to bounce up and down all around him, while smiling at him broadly.
“Err...”
“... no, no, no and once again, no, Twilight, I’ve already told you there has been nothing between us, so stop with your... innuendos, you’re giving everypony funny ideas.”
Spike felt a twinge in his heart when he saw with which vigour Rarity fended off any allegations of an intimate encounter between the two. After the night they had spent together, could you still with any truthfulness say there had been nothing between them? He had gotten closer to Rarity than ever before, than when he had been a dragon, but the mare's denials froze his heart.
At a convenient moment, he snuck out of the bedroom and descended the stairs. In the living room, he noticed several leftovers from the evening: amongst other things, several bottles of apple cider, one hundred percent locally distilled at Applejack’s. He decided that it wouldn’t be a good idea to leave them there, with Twilight and Pinkie upstairs eager to call out every suspect sign. So Spike had to clean up any proofs as quickly and discreetly as possible, finishing to his satisfaction just before he heard the ponies come down the stairs.
He retreated to a discreet corner and waited for the two intruders to leave: first Pinkie Pie, who wanted to inform Fluttershy before anypony else, and then Twilight, who was reassured at the cause of Rarity’s shrieks and went back to her studies. With a barely contained sigh of relief, Rarity closed the door shut. She headed towards a nearby armchair and let herself sink into it, visibly exhausted. Spike approached her with slight concern.
“And to think that after all this, I don’t even know your name, my dear Mister Stranger", she said.
“Well, I have to say, just yesterday evening, you did know my name... and I remember yours, you see”, said Spike. “I’m under the impression that last night might have been a little too... inebriated for you, seeing how... agitated... you woke up.”
“And I have to say that it is not at all my habit to wake up with an unknown head leaning over me”, Rarity said and pouted pointedly.
Irritated, Spike turned away without a word and started searching the room’s cupboards.
“Might I ask what you're planning to do now?”
“First of all, find out where you keep your aspirins. You wouldn’t know it from seeing you, but you have some volume when you scream at the top of your lungs.”
“Swine.”
“And I think you too must have a heavy headache — if not, you’d start yelling at me again just about now, or am I mistaken?”
“...”
“A bespoke silence”, Spike said snidely and gave a scream of joy when he discovered the precious tablets.
They drank their glasses of water with the aspirin scent in silence, exchanging looks that were soon inquiring, soon accusatory. However, their silent battle wasn't supposed to lead to a new rise of tension, so Spike took it upon himself to break the vicious cycle.
“And if we just start over with a clean slate?" he said. "A fresh start? There’s too much ill will between us right now, that’s not gonna be healthy.”
“After all your hurtful words? I don’t know if a fresh start is going to be possible.”
“I just wanted to level the score, my cupcake.”
"Well, first of all, I hope, you’re planning on refreshing my faulty memory.”
“But of course, Miss. That's actually been my intention from the start.”
“I don’t know... I can muse and muse, but I don’t remember anything, not even the slightest shred of a memory... well, please do tell me, I guess I don’t really have a choice....”
The living room thus became the stage of a long dramatic play between the two protagonists. Spike took several moments to bring his memories in order, knowing in advance that the story he was about to tell would be complicated. Then he plunged into a long monologue that took him dozens of minutes, recounting everything, from their first “encounter” when they had arrived at the Carousel Boutique, the first gratefully received glass of alcohol, up to the deployment of the finest bottles from Rarity’s very private collection. He didn’t hide anything and told everything, how they got both emotionally and physically close that night, and what they had said and done to each other. Of course, Spike couldn’t reveal his true identity, but he didn’t attempt to exploit Rarity’s temporary amnesia; his report stayed as honest as possible.
Discovering that several hours of your life had completely disappeared from your memory could be very disturbing. In spite of Rarity’s expressions, who seemed to find all of this absurd, he didn’t change anything, didn’t interrupt himself, and continued his account without omissions, the tiniest detail assuming great importance against the backdrop of Rarity's complete black-out.
Once he had related all the facts, Spike hurried to get another glass of water which he gulped down in an instant, his throat completely dried out. During this time, Rarity stayed in her armchair, in shock: she, who was always so reserved and attentive about her comportment, she had done something like that? With a complete stranger? She had difficulties accepting it, even though she could sense that her partner hadn’t attempted to exploit or abuse her, be it during the evening itself or now. After her waking with a bang, these revelations just added more spice to an already very excited morning.
When Spike returned, they stayed silent for several minutes, contenting themselves with looking at each other, not speaking a single word. She didn’t know how to react, the new facts casting this morning’s gestures in a completely different light, which made her feel embarrassed about her somewhat... disastrous behaviour. He was waiting for a reaction from his beauty and did not know what else to say to plead his cause: his so carefully constructed plan could be torn to shreds by Rarity’s next words. Both didn’t dare to speak the first word that could be the beginning of anything. They waited for the other to speak first, to finally relieve the two of the heavy weight on their conscience.
“And now?”
To be continued