Chapter Three: Discovery
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“Speech”
‘Thought’
“Telepathic speech”
‘Bloody hell, what happened? The last thing I remember was that Dalek shooting at’… “Ditzy!” The Doctor jerked into full awareness and attempted to stand, only to find that he had been bound, belly down, to a table.
‘Well this is quite a predicament.’ he thought, looking around the darkened room, which was lit by a fire at one end. He saw Ditzy bound in like manner on table to his left, her wings secured with a belt. She was looking at him; the one eye he could see seemed to ask the last question he wanted to answer, ‘Why?’
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I never wanted this to happen. I promise you, Ditzy; I will get us out of this.”
Her only response was a blink; she seemed to have completely given up.
‘Well, there’s nothing I can do while I’m strapped down. Hang on a tick, is that singing I hear?’
“Boneses and sinew and boneses and flesh, and boneses and sinew and boneses and flesh, and…”
‘No, that is most definitely not singing.’ He looked towards the source of the chanting and saw a smallish scruffy looking biped silhouetted in firelight. Disconcertingly enough, the creature was sharpening a large knife on a grindstone as it chanted.
“Excuse me, good sir.” The creature perked at the sound of The Doctor’s voice. “Yes, you with the knife, would you mind untying me and my friend?”
“Brown pony talk to Scraggle?” the creature said in a ‘mad scientist’s assistant’ voice.
‘Of course, we would get captured by Dr. Frankenstein and left to be ‘entertained’ by his lab assistant.’ “Yes, if you could, please release us? We would be eternally grateful.”
“No, ponies stay tied up. Scraggle only listen to Master or Master’s companion.” Scraggle stated.
Ditzy choose then to speak up. “Can we hurry up with the torture? I’d rather not die of boredom. Or does the fur wad not know how to use that sticker?”
“Ditzy!” The Doctor shouted, shocked at her coarseness. “We don’t want to make him mad. He does have a knife, and he most likely knows how to use it.”
“Ponies are annoying Scraggle, he will get Master, tell him ponies are awake.” and with that, he left through a door to the right of the fireplace.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, neither wanting to say anything. Just as The Doctor was about to say something, he heard a door open behind him.
“Wow, he sure works fast; I wasn’t expecting him to be done already. Why are the lights off?” a feminine voice said. A click was heard, followed by the retina searing agony of a suddenly brightened room.
“It burns!” Ditzy wailed as she screwed her eyes shut to shield them from the light.
The Doctor had to agree with her. The stark, white lighting was far brighter than anything the local ponies could produce and did in fact burn his eyes.
“What the hell?” The new comer said, trotting into the room. The Doctor felt something poke his nose; he opened his eyes to see what he assumed was a pony in mottled green and gray hooded cloak standing in front of him, a black furred hoof coming in for another poke.
“Hello there, Miss. You wouldn’t happen to be the master of this estate, would you?” The Doctor said, slightly unnerved by the fact that he couldn’t see a head within the cloak’s hood.
“Uh…” and with that, the obscured mare darted through the door that Scraggle had used. A loud roar tore through the ensuing silence followed by an expensive sounding shatter and heavy hoof steps approaching the door.
“I’m telling you, Umbra. There aren’t any…” the door opened to reveal the green furred Minotaur they had seen building the house, his face turned slightly away, his eyes focusing on something or somepony much shorter than him. He then looked into the room. “…ponies in the foyer. Huh? What are you two doing in here?” he said as he walked in, followed by a completely black Pegasus.
“You mean other than losing the feeling in my wings and missing out on the best muffins in town. What time is it anyway?” Ditzy said, her voice lacking its usual cheerfulness.
“It’s about 8:26 PM.” the Minotaur stated as he loosened the belt securing her wings.
“WHAT!!!” Ditzy yelled before giving the Doctor a withering glare. “I hope you’re happy, Doctor, ‘cause now I’ll have to wait another year to get a fresh Mega Muffin.”
“Wait a second, did she just call you ‘Doctor’.” the Minotaur said, pausing as he released The Doctor. He glanced at the stallion’s flank, his eyes widening at mark there. “Scraggle, get in here now!”
‘This is not good. Who is this guy? He seems to know who I am. I hope that this doesn’t get violent, I don’t want Ditzy to get hurt.’
There was a scrabbling noise outside the room and then Scraggle came running through the door. Now that the lights were on, The Doctor could see that Scraggle was a gray furred, vaguely canine, bipedal creature and was slightly shorter than an average pony.
“What does Master want, Scraggle is trying to prepare munchings and crunchings for evening meal, which will be delayed because black wings pony not bring fixings and mixings to kitchen.” Scraggle said, giving the black Pegasus an evil look, to which she replied by sticking out her tongue.
“And what is on the menu tonight, Scraggle?” the Minotaur asked.
“Scraggle has made a fine stew from the sweet and tender flesh of the local pony’s flesh*thud*y produce.”
All eyes were now on Ditzy, who had been getting off of the table and fallen to the floor where she now lay on her back in an unconscious heap of fur and feathers, twitching slightly.
“By Gorlog’s beard, Scraggle,” the Minotaur said, applying a palm to his forehead. “Do ya think ya coulda worded that better? Back to the kitchen with you, fur ball.” the Minotaur commanded, pointing at the door. Scraggle hesitated, raising a finger as if he were about to say something, before leaving.
“Now then, Umbra, would you kindly rearrange her so she isn’t belly up? I just so happen to know from experience that is an uncomfortable position for a quadruped to wake up in. Though, considering the fact you’ve demonstrated flexibility beyond that of a normal equine, I might be wrong.”
The Doctor watched as the startlingly black pony walked over to Ditzy and gently rolled her over. ‘Well, fancy that. A black Pegasus that goes by the name Umbra, how fitting. If she were to stand in the shadows with her eyes closed, she’d be practically invisible.’ He then turned his attention on the Minotaur. “Have we met before…or later, as the case may be?”
“Yes, I’ve met you before, but this is apparently your first time meeting me. You know how it is, timey wimey, wibbly wobbly stuff. I would say more, but I know how you are about spoilers.” the Minotaur said. “I never thought you’d end up here of all places. I assume the TARDIS brought you here.”
“Um, yes it did. If you mind me asking, who are you? Are you a Time Agent or something along those lines?”
“Tell me, Doctor. Have you ever heard of someone being referred to as a ‘Traveler’? They are unusual entities that can traverse the gaps between realities at will and often have other strange abilities.”
“And, you’re one of these ‘Travelers’ I assume.” The Doctor said, tilting his head to one side.
“Ha, I wish I was Traveler. But alas, I am a lowly Wanderer.” the Minotaur said.
“And, what is exactly is the difference between ‘Travelers’ and ‘Wanderers’?” The Doctor asked, sitting on his haunches so he could make air quotes with his fore hooves.
“Travelers, if I understand correctly, can go where ever they want, whenever they want. Wanderers, on the other hand, must go where they are needed. Though, just like anyone on a journey, Wanderers can go where they’ve already been by ‘retracing’ their steps.”
“And do you have a name or title, Wandering Minotaur?”
“Wandering Minotaur, that’s a good one.” The Minotaur said, stroking the goatee adorning his chin. “Without all the honorifics my name is Tachyon Joule. If I were to add all the honorifics and titles we’d be here till morning. You can call me T.J.”
“Um…shouldn’t we do something about this one?” Umbra said, nudging Ditzy with a hoof.
“You’re absolutely right, partner of my mind and heart.” T.J. began rummaging in the various pouches that adorned his belt. “I know it’s in here somewhere. Ah ha, here it is!” he exclaimed, pulling out what appeared to be a small controller, its large red button glowing ominously.
“And just what is that, if you don’t mind me asking?” The Doctor said, eyeing the button warily.
“As my mother would say, hide and watch.” T.J. then extended the antenna, pointed the device at Ditzy and pushed the button.
There was a brief flash that blinded him. Once the spots had cleared from his eyes, The Doctor saw an enormous steaming object sitting in front of Ditzy’s nose. “Good heavens! Is that what I think it is? That thing is as large as that Apple stallion!”
T.J. held up a hand. “3…2…1”
“Mu-muffin…MUFFIN!” In the blink of an eye, Ditzy was airborne. Quickly sighting her prey, she dove into its brown body, face first, burrowing in upon impact. Her outburst, as well as the obscene nomming noises coming from within the now quivering monument to baked goods, caused everyone, save T.J., to jump and back away.
The Doctor watched in horrified fascination as the muffin continued to tremble and deform in cartoonish ways. A pulsating bulge formed on the near side of the muffin. Then the baked monolith collapsed inwards, its interior having been consumed by the muffin crazed mare. The edible rubble pile rumbled briefly, bringing to mind a volcano signaling its imminent eruption, then quieted.
Slowly, The Doctor stepped towards the steaming mound of crusts and crumbs. “Ditzy, are you alright in there?” A few crumbs shifted, revealing a gray furred ear, which swiveled towards the sound of his voice. A second ear soon followed the first. Moments later, Ditzy’s head sprouted from the baked ruble, her cheeks bulging. “I’ll take that as a ‘yes’.”
Ditzy nodded, attempting to chew the large mouthful of muffiny goodness. “That was, without a doubt, the best muffin I’ve ever had.” She looked around, trying to figure out where the treat had come from. “Where’d it come from? I don’t see any doors big enough to fit it though.”
“Muffin Button.” T.J. stated.
“Muffin…Button, what on earth are you talking about?” The Doctor said, flabbergasted. “You have a device that can create a muffin from nothing.”
“No, that’s impossible. It reweaves the subatomic particles in a given space of air into a muffin.”
“A button that makes muffins, where is it? Let me see.” Ditzy burst from the pile, showering everyone in crumbs.
“It’s right here.” T.J. said, pushing the button once more. After a much dimmer flash, which was accompanied by a puff of smoke, a normal sized muffin materialized on the table nearest Ditzy.
“Mine!” Ditzy shouted, pouncing on the muffin.
“Now then,” T.J. said, putting the button away as Ditzy savored the smaller muffin. “I believe the two of you need to head home. It might not be the Everfree, but that doesn’t mean that it’s safe out there after dark.”
“What about my screwdriver? I kind of need that.”
A floor tile drew attention to itself by flashing red. It then let out a mechanical hiss before dropping slightly and retracting into one of its neighbors. A small pedestal then rose up, the sonic screwdriver on a display stand sitting atop it.
“Well fancy that.” The Doctor said, trotting over and grabbing his tool. The pedestal let out a cheerful tune before returning to its place.
/)W(\
‘Man, I love that jiggle.’ T.J. thought to himself. “Now then, if there are no further queries, Umbra shall escort you back to your village.”
“I will? But I just got back. Now I have to go all the way there and back again. Can’t Miss Do just carry The Doctor and fly back to Ponyville.
“Hey, how do you know my name? Did you tell them my name, Doctor?”
“No, I don’t think so.” he said, giving Umbra a look of suspicion. “You two seem to know a lot for me to have never seen you in town. Why is that?”
“Should we tell them?” Umbra asked T.J. through their link.
“I don’t how we can avoid it after your slip up. That is, unless I use the neuralizer. Besides, they could be useful allies later.”
“How shall I put this? Umbra and I are telepaths. We read your minds.”
“Telepathy, that’s a rare skill. I’ve never seen it done so effortlessly by one so young. How do we know you’re not lying to make yourselves seen more powerful?”
“OK Doctor, first off, you of all beings should know that appearance is not an indicator of age. You’re what, a thousand years old? Yet you look like you’re in your thirties. Second, you saw me levitating several objects and yet you question my mind powers. Mind reading is among the easiest forms of magic, even those with no innate magic can be taught mind reading. And lastly, I can prove it like this.” T.J. said, finishing in the Doctor’s undefended mind.
“GET OUT! Get out of my head! There are things in there that must never be known!” He bellowed. “Isn’t there so sort of order to keep your kind in check?” he said, giving T.J. an accusing glare.
“There was. Umbra and I had to destroy it. They had been secretly practicing necromancy in hopes of gaining enough power to eradicate a rival order, one that had existed for thousands of years, an order that had ended the two greatest wars in that land’s history.”
“Just what exactly are you? You have abilities I’ve never seen or heard of and have knowledge of things I’ve never heard of.”
“I already told you, I’m a Wanderer. Don’t bother trying to understand me, stronger minds than yours have been institutionalized as a result. One creature, who thought it self to be the smartest being in all of creation, actually imploded trying to understand how I could make a peanut butter taco using a strip of leather, a sentient bowl of petunias, and three tons of deuterium. Another, well, let’s just say they won’t be cleaning him off of the fabric of that particular universe any time soon.” T.J. said with a shiver.
“Uh…how…”
“No, like he said, don’t even try to understand anything that comes outta his mouth. My mind is linked with his and even I can’t figure him out.” Umbra said over her shoulder as she trotted towards the door that led outside.
“I… think I’ll just be leaving now, for Ditzy’s sake of course.” The Doctor said, following Umbra while Ditzy fell in line behind him.
“I can take care of myself, Doctor. I got along fine without you before.”
“Oh please, you were probably lost in those woods when you found me.”
“Oh yeah, well if it wasn't for me, you’d still be carrying that screwdriver in your mouth, failing miserably at trying to blend in with everypony. Scratch that, you’d probably have ended up lunch for a Manti…” The door closed, cutting her off.
“Thank the Ancestors; I thought I was going to lose it there. I think The Doctor’s finally got someone who can keep up with him in an argument.” T.J. said, leaving the foyer and heading to the armory.
‘All right, time to see if I can use all of my adventuring gear in this form.’ He opened the door, the lights coming on automatically. He eyed the various implements; each setting in its own rack made to support their sometimes odd forms.
‘Let’s see. There’s my bow, no need to check that. I already know that I can still use it, my body hasn't changed that much. All I did was grow horns, hooves, fur, and a snout. The Bomb Mask,’ T.J. shuddered, remembering the incredible destructive power contained within the innocuous chunk of painted wood. ‘Never again, I might be able to take a planet to the face from thirty thousand feet, but that thing hurts. Besides, why would want to I blow up my own face when I can just crush an assailant’s nads with da Schwartz? Heh, now that was a fun adventure. Ah, the R.Y.N.O., I probably shouldn't use that here. Don’t know how the locals would react to several mini-nukes going off. I don’t want to look for materials to make the ammo either.’
He then looked at the other half of the room, where the non-weapon items were located. ‘Eye of Truth, no. Double Clawshot, no, I've already had to put one priceless artifact back together; I’d rather not do it again so soon.’ His thoughts were interrupted by a voice in his head.
“They're still arguing, why are they still arguing?”
“Oh quit your whining, Umbra. It can't be that bad.”
“It is.”
“Are they still arguing about the same thing?”
“No, now they’re arguing about muffins.”
“Muffins… they’re arguing about muffins?”
“They’re arguing about English muffins, to be exact. The Doctor says that he prefers them over the regular ones, while Ditzy says that they’re disgusting. And the worst part is that they keep asking me which I prefer, but I've never had either.”
“I understand. I’ll have some waiting for when you get back.”
“Thanks, I guess. I wish I could revert into my true form; then I could carry them in my claws. Then again, I don't want to scare anypony.”
“Yeah, I know what you’re saying. I thought those magicians and soldiers back in Ilirea were gonna wet themselves when they found out just how powerful I am. Heh, the look on that one soldier’s face when he broke his sword on my arm was priceless. Though, I still feel sorry for that mage who went into my mind to confirm that I wasn't a shade or some other abomination of the sort and had no malicious intentions. I did warn them that it would not end well.”
“Finally, the edge of town; I was about to start spitting fire. I’ll be back soon.” And with that, Umbra left T.J. to his own thoughts.
‘Now then, where was I. Oh yeah, I was going over what I might need to practice with so I’m ready when the horse apples hit the fan. Heh, horse apples, ponies.’ His eyes then fell upon the object sitting dead center of the room.
There, sitting upon an artfully crafted stand carved from a single piece of nigh indestructible mahogany, was a sword. Its slender blade was hidden in a plain black scabbard. The only sign that it was more than a poor man’s instrument of war was the fist-sized black pearl set within the pommel.
“Ah, of course, how could I forget?” He picked it up then unsheathed it, revealing an iridescent black blade. “Schism, the Shadow Rider’s blade, meant to be wielded by the chosen warrior of the Gray Folk.”
Just as he was about to head to the adjoining training room, he felt a strange tingle. The sensation grew in intensity before disappearing.
“Huh? That was…odd.” He said, going through the door. Three steps later, T.J. found himself writhing on the floor in agony. Through their link, he felt Umbra drop out of the sky as his pain reflected to her. Just before he lost consciousness, he severed the link, allowing her to race to his aid.
/)W(\
“Come on T.J., answer me. Damn it, Tachyon, answer me!” Umbra stamped the ground in frustration before launching herself into the air.
Minutes later she was back inside the compound, looking for T.J. She made her way to the training room, knowing that he would be nearby.
As she made her way there, she could see a wavering golden glow emanating from somewhere between her and her goal. ‘Fire’ this thought caused her to pick up her pace considerably.
She rounded the last corner just in time to see Scraggle and a pair of small droids upending buckets onto a body-sized conflagration raging just inside the training room.
“What in the seven hells is going on here?!” Umbra yelled, getting Scraggle’s attention just he and the bots were about to go for more water.
“You tell Scraggle, you have fire mark.” He said, before rushing off for more water.
“I just got here, you fur brained idiot.” She said as he disappeared around the corner.
She walked over to a small cabinet set into the wall and pulled out the fire extinguisher therein. ‘Why, by Celestia’s golden sun, did he not think to use this thing?’ “Ok, how do I use this thing?” After looking at the extinguisher from several angles in an unintentionally adorable manner, the word ‘INSTRUCTIONS’, printed in bold red letters caught her eye.
‘Oh, would ya look at that, how convenient. Ok, step one; pull pin.’ She found the pin and pulled it out with her teeth.
‘Step two; aim at base of fire while standing six feet away.’ She eyeballed the distance and made some adjustments before grabbing the nozzle in her mouth.
‘Ok, step three; squeeze lever and sweep side to side. That doesn't seem too hard.’ Just as she was about to squeeze the lever, she realized something.
“How am I gonna squeeze this lever with a hoof?” Umbra spent the next few minutes trying to figure out how she could both point the nozzle at the small conflagration, which seemed to be dying on its own now, and squeeze the lever at the same time. She finally gave up on using the lever and decided to go with a more manual approach.
The extinguisher was launched into the blaze by the savage buck it received courtesy Umbra’s hind legs, where it landed with a soft ‘thunk’ and a ‘clang’.
At that precise moment, Scraggle returned, directing a pair of large droids who bore an even larger fog spewing, frost covered, black caldron between them. The bots, after a nod from Scraggle, raised the caldron up over the fire and inverted it.
Something yelped as the fire was finally extinguished in a cloud of steam and Umbra felt T.J.’s mind flare into existence, as if he had teleported from a great distance. T.J. uttered what Umbra assumed was a foul curse in his native tongue, not that she could understand it.
“Ok,” T.J. said from within the mist, which seemed to cling to him. “Why am I cold and wet?” The sound of hooves could be heard as he stood. “And why do I feel like I just got kicked in the face?”
“Heh, sorry about that, T.J., I kicked a fire extinguisher, which may have hit you.” Umbra replied sheepishly, scuffing a hoof on the floor.
“Well then, Umbra, would you please disperse this fog. By the way, where did this fog come from, and why did you have an extinguisher out?”
“The fog is Scraggle’s doing. You were on fire when I got here. He and a couple of bots were dumping buckets on you. They left, so I tried to use the extinguisher, only to find out that hands, or magic, are needed to use it.” Umbra said, taking off and hovering to blow away the mist.
“I was on fire? I was wondering why I felt so drained. Is Scraggle still there?”
“Yeah, he’s right h… Where’d he go? He was here a second ago.”
“No matter, I’ll find him later.”
The fog soon dissipated enough for Umbra to barely make out T.J.’s green form, but something seemed off.
“T.J., are you still standing?” Umbra asked, worried that she had hurt him.
“Yeah, why do you ask?”
Umbra answered by flapping her wings more powerfully, causing the somewhat gentle breeze coming off of them to increase into a gale.
“Whoa there, Umbra, take it down a few notches. It’s not like the fog is poisonous.”
She continued to beat the air with her wings until the fog was no more. She then looked at his definitely shorter form, trembling as she took in the lean muscled body. She landed practically on top of him before she pressed her face against his and stared into his eyes, as if the answer to the question of life, the universe, and everything could be found within their depths. She withdrew suddenly, her eyes wide. Bringing a hoof up, she poked him in the nose.
*boop*
In a non-literal flash, Umbra vanished, causing T.J. to recoil before looking up to find her clinging to the ceiling like a frightened cat. Just as T.J. was about to ask how she was holding onto the ceiling as if she had claws, Umbra yelled at the top of her lungs.
“Scraggle, what the hell was in that caldron?!?!”