“…and that’sh how Equeshtria wash made!”
Twilight wondered how it had all come to this, stuck in Ponyville’s grimiest pub — at least, that’s what she was assuming, given her lack of experience with bars, but if they got filthier than this place, she didn’t want to know — with a drunken pink pony who barely made sense when she was sober. She reflected on this as she levitated her Pony Cola over for another sip, remembering how Pinkie had invited her completely out of the blue, how she had explained that she didn’t drink but the earth pony had insisted, how Pinkie had pleaded that she had something really really important to tell Twilight but she needed some liquid courage to get it out.
And Twilight recalled the reason she had agreed after that, the hope that fluttered in her heart that perhaps her unrequited crush wasn’t so unrequited after all.
But if they were ever going to get to drunken love confessions and possible makeouts afterwards, the unicorn needed to move her friend along before last call. “Pinkie, I’ve heard your cutie mark story before — though I have to say, you left out the pirates the last time you told it. What was it you want to talk about, again?”
“All in due time, Twily, all in due time!” Pinkie responded with a slur, her use of Twilight’s childhood nickname bringing a blush to the unicorn’s face. “It’sh all interconnected, you shee?! Like a conshir— conshpern— like a plot!” She slammed her mug on the counter, splashing her drink onto the counter and causing the bartender to roll her eyes in consternation. “I never knew joy like I did that day! The Shonic Rainboom opened my eyesh to what I could be, and my eyesh are opened even further now! I know what I want! I know who I want!”
“Really, now?” Twilight said in a nonchalant tone as she sipped her soda again, trying desperately to contain her heart’s delight. “Well, I’m all ears, Pinkie, if you want to… tell me anything.”
“I will! I’m gonna tellsh you! That’sh why I brought you here, even though I know you don’t like to drink, or when other poniesh get drunk, or anyshing like that!” Pinkie let go of her drink to lean over and awkwardly hug Twilight while remaining on her own stool. “For shomeone who didn’t know much about friendship, you shure know how to help!” She suddenly released her grip and sat up straight on her stool, only wobbling a little as she declared, “Twilight Shparkle, I’m in love—”
Twilight’s heart exploded in a burst of fireworks. Not even Celestia’s praise could give her this wonderful of a feeling!
“—with Rainbow Dash!”
Not fireworks. Dynamite, blowing open her chest and leaving her empty and hollow. From far within the depths of her sudden sorrow, Twilight heard herself repeat in a monotone voice, “Rainbow Dash.”
“Yep, crazshy, huh? I think I’ve been in love with ever shince I shaw her rainbow! And she’s sho cool and aweshome and beautiful and… and I just want to pounshe on her and kissh her! But no! No Pinkie! That’s not a good plan!” She leaned over to grip Twilight. “You’re shuper-duper shmart, and you’ve read all shorts of booksh, Twilight! That’sh why I told you! I need you to help me win Dashie’sh heart!”
So. Insult was added to injury. But despite the cold hollow that used to be her heart screaming to spite that which had spited it, Twilight rejected that notion. Pinkie was still her friend. Pinkie was still the mare she loved. And if Pinkie needed her help to win her own love, then Twilight would help, no matter how much it hurt her.
“Alright, Pinkie, I’m in. After all… you deserve your happiness.”