Anon shifted against the cold concrete wall of a corridor beneath the Fillydelphia colosseum. The din of thousands of ponies overhead, lining the seats and cheering for the ongoing buckball semi-finals, brought a smile to his face. He would have been sitting on the sidelines himself, watching the match and rooting for the Hayseeds, the underdogs of the match, if he hadn’t been expecting an even better show.
Hearing the sound of approaching footfalls, he lifted his gaze to a doorway resting opposite of him. Just like on Earth, Equestria enjoyed half-time shows for some of their more significant sporting events; the performances could vary wildly, ranging from musical performances to choreographed dancing, and they were almost always big-budget affairs. As several ponies walked past and down the hallway, only paying him the slightest bit of mind, he patiently kept his eyes glued on the door.
While she was the last pony to walk out of the changing room, Celestia was an order of magnitude more captivating than her teammates. Clad in a skin-tight, azure body glove with golden lightning bolts emblazoned around the wrists, ankles, and chest, she was dressed no differently than the rest of the squad - that being said, her stature and curves filled out the elastic material exquisitely. She stopped in the corridor and smiled when she spotted him.
“Well?” she hummed, giving him a twirl and showing off her attire.
He could all but feel a blood vessel burst in his sinuses as spun around. Though she was completely covered, her voluptuous figure was almost painfully erotic. From her heaving bust, chubby thighs, and just enough pudge to let anypony know how incredible it would be to hug her, she was a paragon of enticement. Leveling her ass at him, she swung an arm back and adjusted the fabric seemingly painted on her tush.
She scrunched her snout and wiggled her hips, trying in vain to get the garment seated properly. “It’s a bit tight.”
“Huh?” he grunted, blinking and coming back to the present. “I mean, yeah, it’s supposed to be snug.”
Righting herself, she faced and crossed to him. “You’re not watching the game?”
He shook his head as he motioned to the exit, knowing they couldn’t dither around for too long. “Nah. Unless the Hayseeds can pull off a miracle, it’s going to be a wash.”
Sauntering past him, she flapped her wings. “Well I appreciate you being here for me. This reminds me of…”
As she yammered on about some ancient buckball match she’d attended in her youth, her words were lost on him. Ordinarily speaking, he would have walked alongside her or slightly ahead of her, if for no reason other than to make conversing easier, although this was a special occasion. Peering longingly at her backside, watching the massive globes of her tush gliding back and forth against one another, he started to salivate.
While Wonderbolt uniforms were designed for functionality, the sight of Celestia in one was profoundly provocative - a fact that he and he alone would only truly be able to savor. The audience outside would be able to see her as plain as day, and those who’d paid a premium for up-close seats would get a decent view of her, but even the closest ponies would be several dozen yards away from her. His eyes wandered up her back and from side to side, tracking her bosoms as she tied her mane in a ponytail.
He tried - holy hell, he tried to behave himself around her, showing her as much respect as he could muster and staving off his lecherous impulses more often than not, but there were some opportunities that were too good to pass up. Her uniform was, in a word, sinful and immaculately displaying all her extraordinary assets. As she folded her wings and covered her tush, his eyes shot up to her face.
“Enjoying yourself back there?” she mused.
Instantly averting his gaze, he felt a pang of guilt for being caught with his metaphorical hand in the cookie jar. It was a well known fact that you shouldn’t stare at the sun, that such an activity was reckless, and the same principle applied to Celestia - fortunately for him, she never seemed to mind the attention. Hastening his pace and moving up next to her, he mirthlessly laughed.
“Sorry,” he grumbled.
Without breaking stride, she rubbed his upper arm. “It’s quite alright, Anon - for goodness’ sake, it’s not like I didn’t choose to wear this.”
He shrugged, still feeling the slightest bit embarrassed for indulging. “Yeah, but still…”
“Oh come now, there’s nothing to be ashamed of,” she continued, crossing out of the shadows and into the light of the colosseum. “If you truly feel guilty, then perhaps you could return the favor for me - after all, I’m sure Spitfire wouldn’t mind if I borrow a uniform for you to try on.”
The notion of parading himself around in one of the outfits for her, likely in the privacy of one of their rooms, was equal parts thrilling and horrifying - still, the fact that he’d be able to wear one at all reminded him of just how magical they were. Each of the uniforms was handmade from crystal spider silk and enchanted to fit anypony of any size - on top of that, the material was enchanted to be hydrophobic, windproof, and nigh indestructible. Celestia had quite literally burst out of a set of standard issue armor, but it would be virtually impossible for her to suffer a wardrobe malfunction with one of the mystical catsuits.
Stopping alongside her teammates, Celestia stretched and warmed herself up. “Wish me luck?”
“Not like you’ll need it, but good luck,” he laughed while stepping back.
While it may have sounded like a joke, he meant what he’d said. Celestia’s aeronautical abilities were a mystery to a great many of her former subjects, speculated on by some and actually witnessed by fewer still, but she was actually a phenom of a flier - so much so that she’d allegedly served as a substitute for the Wonderbolts in her youth. When the buzzer rang and the teams on the field separated, trudging off to their respective sides to catch their breath and get a cold drink, the speakers throughout the arena rang to life.
“Mares, gentlecolts, and ponies of all ages,” the announcer theatrically blared, his voice cutting through the whoops, hollers, arguments, and conversations of the innumerable spectators, “I have some very, and I mean very special news for you all…”
Celestia trailed after Spitfire, Fleetfoot, High Wind, and Misty Fly, though at a slightly slower pace, and peeked back at him. Shooting her a double thumbs-up, he beamed and mutely gave her encouragement. He really wasn’t one to toot his own horn, fearing his hubris would bite him on the ass, but fuck if signing her up for the Wonderbolts wasn’t the best idea he’d ever had.
She’d get to show off her aeronautical skills, perform for the public she cherished so dearly, and she looked absolutely stunning - as if those selling points weren’t fantastic enough, he got a few kickbacks from her newfound position. Minding a retired Princess came with a number of perks, even if rarely took advantage of them, but he wasn’t going to complain about being able to go to sporting events, all sorts of public shows, and royal parties without paying a single bit! All he had to do was ensure she was on time, root her on, and stick by her.
With a song starting to play and the crowd going nearly silent, the announcer cleared his throat. “I’d like to - wait a second…” he muttered, pausing and taking a breath. “I’ve just been informed of a sudden change to the halftime show.”
The masses of attendees shifted and murmured amongst themselves, doubtlessly concerned that something had gone awry, while Anon smirked and shook his head. The broadcaster was damn good at what he did, and he was impressed. Looking up to the press box, he waited for the shoe to drop.
“I - yes, I see,” the commenter continued. “I…I can’t believe this. Everypony, the Wonderbolts are going to be joined by none other than Princess - er - the former Princess, Celestia!”
Just as he finished speaking, the Wonderbolts darted into the air in a fan pattern. Music blared, lasers pierced the heavens, and the crowd absolutely lost their shit. Though her mane was tied and she was wearing the same thing as her teammates, only a blind idiot wouldn’t have been able to recognize Celestia. Anon’s smile broadened and met his upturned eyes as he turned his head upward.
While he had some idea of what to look forward to, having seen two Wonderbolt shows in the past, he was excited all the same. The way the ponies cut through the air, dart past one another while performing all sorts of tricks, would have been entertaining enough, but that was just the start of the display. Whizzing around the stadium and breaking formation, the members shot just over the throng while dispensing high-fives.
The opening act only lasted a few minutes before the real theatrics started. Though the Wonderbolts were all pegasi, excluding Celestia, they had a number of support ponies on the field to assist. Unicorns launched magical fireworks that the fliers traced around, rings of vibrantly-colored fire materialized out of thin air, and there was even a hot air balloon manned by several earth ponies firing off party and t-shirt cannons - in short, it was one hell of a spectacle.
Throughout the performance, Anon’s eyes never wavered from Celestia. Irrespective of how enticing her attire was, she was beautiful - truly beautiful. The way she almost danced through the air, her body moving as though it was made of water, was phenomenal. He couldn’t say he was or ever had been much of a religious man, but knowing he’d somehow befriended such a divine creature made him thankful on a spiritual level.
Lasting for the better part of half an hour, filled with different exhibitions and impressive displays of flying skills, the show left everypony - including Anon. He realized she couldn’t hear him, that he was just another face in the crowd, but he cheered all the same. She meant the world to him, whether she knew it or not, and getting to see her show herself off in a meaningful way warmed the very depths of his heart.
“I don’t have to say it, but I will anyway,” the announcer laughed. “Everypony put your hands together for the Wonderbolts!!!”
Damn near everypony in the stadium shot from their seats, standing and lavishing the team with praise as the Wonderbolts flew into a revolving circle and bowed. It was a humble end for what was a phenomenal event, everypony had gotten their socks knocked off, and he couldn’t think of a single way that it could have been better. Anon turned and wandered back to the service entrance, more than ready to complement Celestia for a job well done, but he paused when the speakers flared to life.
“You’re kidding me?” the broadcaster exclaimed. “Ok, now this is a surprise. Everypony take your seats and brace yourselves.”
Looking to the heavens and past a number of Wonderbolts flitting to the earth, Anon spotted Celestia talking with Spitfire, the team’s captain. He hadn’t the slightest idea of what they were saying, but their expressions were telling. The alicorn clutched her hands together in supplication while the pegasus shook her head and wagged a finger. Whatever was going on set his nerves on edge and was making his hair stand on end.
After a few tense seconds Spitfire descended, shaking her head and throwing her hands up in apparently giving up on whatever argument she’d been having. Anon swiftly brought his attention back to the ex-Princess as she victoriously fist-pumped the air. Ok, yeah, there’d been a disagreement of some sort, and it looked like Celestia had won, but that’s not what bothered him.
Like a bullet, Celestia rocketed upwards. He kept his eyes on her for as long as he could, until she was just a little speck high above, then shielded his face from the blazing sun overhead. It was obvious that she was planning something, an extra stunt if he had to hazard a guess, and he was torn between being worried or proud that she wanted to cap off the spectacle with a regal bang.
“H…hey,” he croaked, pawing at Spitfire as she walked by him, “what’s she doing.”
Shrugging off his hand, Spitfire rolled her eyes. “She told me not to tell you, but get ready to cover your ears…”
Oh no - oh fuck. There was only one maneuver he could think of that Celestia was going to try, and it was a doozy. Almost every creature in Equestria knew about Rainbow Dash, the impetuous flier who’d become both a hero and was a reserve member from the Wonderbolts, but what most ponies didn’t know was that the Element of Loyalty wasn’t the first to conquer a very dangerous, very high-tier trick.
Anon rushed into the field while waving his arms and desperately trying to get Celestia’s attention. If he didn’t stop her, all hell was about to break loose. The multitude of onlookers went silent as they turned their eyes to the heavens, watching in quiet awe when the little blue dot started to fall.
Though he wanted to run, to seek out shelter to protect himself from what was coming, Anon couldn’t move. Clouds parted before Celestia, the air itself wavered and shimmered, and a thunderous crack, followed by a pressure wave of wind, assailed him. Nopony, from the oldest stallion to the youngest foal, had any idea what they were in for, but he did.
Ever-shifting, opalescence formed around the meteoric alicorn, forming a lancehead around her. A second report rocked the closer viewers, sending them crashing back into their seats or reeling to steady themselves, yet none of them looked away until the very last second. When Celestia veered, altering course in a manner that should have broken several fundamental laws of physics, the atmosphere detonated.
Every color imaginable and several that shouldn’t have existed radiated overhead, cascading throughout the stadium and everypony in it. The sight would have been astonishing, and it was for a fleeting instant, although the magnificence was followed by ruination. Windows shattered, ponies went sailing over their seats, and the excited shouts turned to screams of terror as the colosseum was hit with the full force of an apocalyptic rain-boom.
Anon was one of the lucky few who’d been prepared, having thrown himself to the earth with his mouth open and ears covered to save himself. Pushing himself up, he looked around and surveyed the devastation until his eyes settled on a figure before him. As naked as the day she was born and appearing slightly dismayed at the panic-stricken masses, any thought of modesty escaped her while she stood and idly surveyed the stands.
In a valiant effort to shield her, he turned his back to her, threw his arms up, and did what he could to cover the more scandalous bits of her. “Damn it, Celestia!”
The most primitive parts of his brain railed and begged him to at least take one look at her most holy of holies, although it was hardly the time nor place to pop wood while gawking at noble horse naughty parts. Forcing himself to inspect the crowd, he glanced from one area to another for any signs of serious injury. There were already medics filing in, checking on folks and tending to the few who’d suffered scrapes or bruises, which was a small relief - however that didn’t address the big, nude elephantine problem in the arena.
“Is - uh - is this a pineapple pizza moment or should I - oh…” she grumbled.
Glancing back at her and seeing her reddening cheeks, he could see the realization that she was standing bare-assed in front of a few thousand spectators - sure, most of the ponies present were too frightened to pay her any mind, but they wouldn’t stay that way for long. Kneeling and plastering herself against him, she smashed her tits to his back and hugged his midsection.
“Pineapple pizza it is…” she whispered, winking both of them out of existence and off to the secluded chalet that was supposed to serve as a doomsday refuge…