"So let me get this straight, you're saying I'm not the first human to step foot in Equestria. Mind telling me how you came to know this, being made of stone kinda means you don't get out much."
Do you think I've sat here all my life? That I'm some stone here to decorate Celestia's garden collection? No human, I thought you would have more intelligence than that. For a time I was nothing more than Canterlot's resident prankster. My pranks were merely small, miniscule and not coordinated for anypony.
"So what happened?" Damn, I was really going to get sucked in to asking about his past wasn't I? My curiosity really couldn't stop though, after hearing that he had told me I wasn't the only human ever in Equestria, I wanted to know what had happened to him to warrant him being encased in stone.
Well you see, I couldn't control myself after awhile. The pranks became a part of my life, hearing their delightful shrieks were what I needed to keep myself from becoming bored of my everyday life. As it went on I eventually was considered a prank terrorist. A sort of chaotic deity that they soon called me Discord.
"Wait, wait, you mean your name isn't Discord?"
I told you that is what these ponies called me, not that it was my name. Believe you me, it is very intoxicating for me a being who practically loves pranks and chaotic themes to be called Discord. And in answer to your question, no, that is not my real name.
"So what is your real name than?"
Oh no, no, no. I am not going to kiss and tell all, maybe after a third date.
My face grew hot at the suggestion and I was about to give him a nice fluent string of curses before he roared with laughter. "You're an ass."
And a goat, snake, and a few other things to boot. But we're not talking about me, oh wait, yes we are, but not about my body. I am sensitive about the subject on my looks mind you. The nerve, you'd think your humanity would teach you some tolerance on people's appearance.
"You're not a person. Last time I checked the biology books, you don't resemble a human."
Not important. As I was saying, it was becoming out of control and Celestia along with her sister saw me... 'harassing' her beloved ponies. So I was locked up for my troubles. Before I was though I had managed to sneak a peak in to their archives, hoping to just switch the covers of some of the books as a practical joke. I found books there that made mentions of a race in resemblance to you. Some were observation reports, others were journals of ponies who lived with them, two were even of a pony who accepted a human as a mate.
"What?! You mean ponies have.. mated with humans before?"
Oh don't be so close-minded. You think you're the first to get aroused from a pony before? I assure you, the things I read you wouldn't even think someone could write this much down and not melt the pages right off the cover. I even felt guilty for a few seconds having read it myself, but that quickly passed.
"So..." I drawled out trying to switch the topics. I knew what he was talking about, but that doesn't mean I had to acknowledge it at this moment. "...about these books you say you found. Princess Celestia told me that they had nothing like that in their archive. So either she's lying, or you are. Fess up, what happened to the books if they aren't in the archives section."
Believe it or not I shared them with an associate of mine. We both had a great curiosity for your species, and we had hoped to one day meet one of you and integrate some of you humans in to our society. It would have cured my boredom, and his curious nature. I was however sealed before we could make the necessary preparations to attempt the spell. The book must have stayed with him, though with me being sealed I can't even begin to know where it is now.
"Is it possible that someone else has it, and became fascinated with my kind and tried to bring others in to your world?"
Of course it is possible. Now, I thank you for this conversation and the chance to meet one of your kind. But you need to go, you are needed elsewhere now and I think if you associate with me Celestia will banish you to the moon. You'd be the third to make the trip.
Third? Who were the first two? As I opened my mouth to question him I heard someone clear their throat to get my attention. Clamping my mouth shut I turned and saw one of the guard ponies had apparently come to drag me back to the Princess. We walked in silence toward the castle, passing some of the familiar archways I took to the garden and finally arrived where I first met the Princess.
I was curious when we kept walking to another hall, I saw columns of white pillars leading to a double door chamber. I noticed the doors were a polished wooden brown but had a blindfolded pony holding a scale with one of their hooves. I could only assume they were taking me to some sort of court room to ask me the questions that were soon to follow. As the doors were pushed open by magic I noticed the Princess seated with four other ponies. Two of them looked like Celestia with the whole Unicorn/Pegasus thing going on only one was pink and the other was rather dark. The final one in the room was a male unicorn, and I could only guess his lack of wings meant wings only run on the female side of the gene pool.
"Greetings Siegfried. Please approach the royal court. I'd like to introduce to you Princess Luna, Princess Cadence, and finally Prince Blueblood. I've asked them here to witness the proceedings I do hope you don't mind."
I shook my head and bowed from my waist deeply, my hands at my sides. "Not at all Princess Celestia." I could make out Twilight and Spike to my left from the corner of my eye, but I saw them with another white male pony who had a piece of armor that suggested he was of a much higher rank.
"I'm glad, reviewing some of the material Twilight and I reviewed together I can understand your people and their advancements as well as their short-comings. Do you deny your people have had a tendency to war?"
Aww shit. Really? "No, I do not deny the accusation."
"Do you feel that is because within your race their exists a malevolence in your psychology?"
"I believe most humans have the ability to be aggressive when necessary. I have always believed that aggression has also helped shape our culture and allowed us to overcome many obstacles as well as create many problems within our society and ruined any relations to peaceful solutions. I also believe that wars have happened over misunderstandings, mistrust, idiotic pride, and the fact some leaders have had their heads so far up their ass they didn't even think of their people." I huffed that last part out.
"Than do you feel that your kind would welcome relations with our race or others who inhabit our world?"
"My race has always dreamed of finding other forms of intelligence in the vastness of space. They have always dreamed or feared what they would find but the fascination has never died. We always hoped that if we DID find anything they would be friendly. However we would be cautious, and if need be defend ourselves at all costs."
"Than how would you feel if ponies asked you to leave their towns? Their homes, their cities, if they were afraid of you?"
"Me? Well I would honor it. I don't want to scare anyone but it's kinda hard to when your alien to the world you land on right?" I saw that smile try to tug on her lips and felt one of my own forming at the corners of my mouth.
"Excuse me, but if I may. If you were to be asked to leave, where would you go? From what I heard you cannot go home to your own planet, and we don't have the means to send you back. Therefore, I wonder if you were asked to leave would you leave Equestria? Or would you leave this planet?"
I stared at Prince Blueblood considering his words carefully, he was right. Where would I go if I was denied residence in any of the towns of Equestria. "I suppose I would go where I would not bother anyone. Though I'd like to get a chance to prove myself, if need be I will find shelter somewhere and stay away from any pony civilizations."
"Than let me ask, let's say for the sake of discussion that we do allow you to take residence in our society. That you would be granted a special visa in Equestria. Would you have any problems following our traditions? Our laws and adhere to them?"
"No, no problems at all. I would need to know them first however."
"We have made a decision, but a final question, if I may." Princess Celestia interrupted Blubloods questions and he took a step back sitting on his haunches. I stared at Celestia and could see the seriousness on her face meant that this next question was going to have to be considered really well.
"Would you promise that you will help any pony in need, not give in to hate, and that you stand by our kingdom if anything should threaten it?"
I stared a bit shocked at the simplicity but she continued to stare at me with that serious tone. "I will do whatever is necessary to be welcomed in to your society, and if accepted, stand by Equestria even in it's darkest hour." Celestia smiled and turned to her companions, who each gave a nod of approval. She than looked to me with a nod and smiled even more brightly.
"Siegfried, you are given a special visa to reside in PonyVille. Twilight will be your counselor, she has already accepted the idea to watch over you and allow you to stay at her place until you can become more settled. I would ask that you send me or my sister Princess Luna any reports of progress you have or problems adjusting with our society. Oh, and welcome to Equestria."