Anon walked out into the pale blue morning light, smiling. He had never been much of a morning person before, but something about Equestrian mornings felt pleasant to him. Maybe it's because he couldn't wreck his sleep schedule with endless internet browsing at night, here.
Like most mornings, the streets of Ponyville were mostly empty at this hour. A handful of shop owners walked about, eager to get an early start to their days, but otherwise Anon was left along with his thoughts. This suited him just fine, of course. While he appreciated how friendly everypony was, sometimes it was nice to get some time away from them. Hell, that's part of why he chose this post office job over any of the others Twilight offered to secure for him. Some days, he could go an entire shift while only talking to a single pony.
The door to the post office was already unlocked when he got there. This was normal, since his boss liked to be there a whole hour ahead of him. Anon wasn't really sure why, since it was a post office, not a shop, but he didn't complain.
The bell above the door rang with his entrance. "Mornin', Boss!" he called out.
"Hey, Anon, glad to see you!" the beige mare answered from behind the front desk. She did have a name, but Anon got this job before he was any good at remembering pony names, so he took to just calling her Boss. She didn't mind, and so it stuck.
"How's today looking?" he asked as he joined her behind the counter.
"Not the best," Boss answered. "One of the mailmares called in sick, and we have a lot of stuff that needs to get delivered today." She seemed to think about something for a moment, and then said, "Say, you know Ponyville pretty well by now, right?"
"I'd say so, yeah." He grabbed his keys from a cabinet. "Why, want me to cover that mail run?"
"That would be perfect, actually," Boss said. "Sorry to spring this on you, Anon."
"Nah, it's fine," Anon waved off her concern. "It'll be a nice change of pace. The weather looked nice today, anyway."
Boss coughed awkwardly. "Uh, there's actually some rain scheduled for later this morning."
Anon shrugged and began walking over to the mail room. "A little water never killed anyone. You got an umbrella or something to give me, right?"
Boss didn't answer, and pretended to be busy.
Anon stopped and looked back at her. "Wait, do we not have umbrellas?"
"I mean, all our mailmares are pegasi," Boss said. "So rain is never really an issue for them."
Anon sighed, but didn't let it slow him down. "Oh well, I'll be fine."
"Thank you so much, Anon," Boss said.
Minutes later, Anon emerged from the post office with a mail bag hanging off his shoulder and a hat on his head. Even though he had been working there for almost a whole year, this was the first time he ever heard about one of the mailmares calling in sick. Still, he didn't think about it too much.
Sure enough, not long after he left the building, he spotted several pegasi moving clouds into position overhead. A few kicks later, the rain came down. Anon just sighed and held the mailbag closer to himself. Boss wouldn't trust him with it if the mail would get ruined through the bag so easily... right?
The streets cleared pretty quickly in the wake of the downpour, which left Anon alone, save for the occasional overhead pegasus that offered a brief wave before flying somewhere else in the cluster of clouds. A familiar cyan face flew lower, however, and hovered alongside the soaked human.
"Since when did you do mail runs?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"Since the mailmare called in sick," Anon answered. "Figures it would be on a rainy day, right?"
"Yeah, sorry to hear that," Dash said. She quickly flew back up into the clouds, then returned with a fluffy seat of her own. "Sorry, wings were getting tired."
The breeze from Dash's sudden ascent and descent ruffled Anon's clothes, but otherwise left him no worse for wear. "No problem, I'd do the same if I could move clouds like that." He stumbled slightly as he stepped in a small patch of mud. He groaned and added, "Or if I didn't have to walk on the ground."
Dash winced sympathetically. "Oof, sorry about that, buddy. Hopefully Rarity won't be too mad about mud getting on those clothes of hers."
Anon smirked. "She's friends with you and Pinkie, she has to be used to that by now."
"Good point."
Dash stood up on her cloud and stretched. "Well, that's enough of a break for now. I'll catch you later, Anon!"
Anon waved goodbye as she rocketed back into the rainstorm, bringing her cloud seat with her. Anon sighed and continued to trudge through the rain, shoving letters into mailboxes as he went. Thankfully, the rain was light enough to not ruin the letters with moisture immediately.
He continued like this for a little while, alone in the rain. The mud had slowly been accumulating, and Anon had to take care where he stepped to not completely ruin his shoes. He began to sink or slip several times, but always managed to maintain his footing. He couldn't claim to be an expert in anything in particular, but he could at least brag about the fact that he never slipped and fell in his entire adult life, which was something.
His next stop was Sugarcube Corner. As he approached the confectionery construction, he couldn't help but notice that there was a lot of deep-looking mud on the street that led up to the building. In fact, it looked like way more than it should've been, given how that street looked when it was dry.
Anon just sighed again and tried his best to find the clearest path through. His feet sank into a puddle more than a few times, and he winced every time he did. As if the rain wasn't bad enough, he could tell that his shoes and socks were getting soaked through from the surprise dips.
Why was it so muddy here? Something wasn't right.
After much struggling and cursing to himself, Anon finally made it to the Sugarcube mailbox right next to the front door. Thankfully, the store's awning provided a much-appreciated respite from the downpour.
While he dug through his bag for the appropriate letters, the door opened. "Heya, Anon!" Pinkie Pie greeted. "Why're you the mailmare today?"
"Other one called in sick," he answered. Even through his annoyance at the day so far, he still did his best to fake a smile for Pinkie and said, "It's no big deal, though, I'm managing."
She wasn't quite convinced. "You sure? You look kinda... peeved off."
Anon let the facade fall. "Yeah, sorry, between the weather and all this mud, today's been kinda shit."
"Language!"
Anon rolled his eyes and laughed. "Sorry, but you get the idea. Anyway," he finally found the appropriate letters and handed them to Pinkie, "here's your mail."
"Thanks, Anon!" Pinkie accepted the letters and hopped inside, only to return immediately. "Hope you manage to stay out of the mud!"
"Yeah, I meant to ask," Anon turned around and gestured at the mud-covered street behind him, "why is it so muddy around here? I could've sworn the street was paved pretty well around here."
Pinkie shifted on her hooves slightly. "Really? I'm pretty sure it's always been like this. Yep, lot of mud here when it rains, absolutely!"
Anon raised an eyebrow at her. Pinkie was standing unnaturally still by her standards, and she was looking everywhere she could to not make eye contact with him. "You okay, Pinks?" he asked.
"Oh I'm fiiiiiiine," Pinkie said, trying to wave him off. "But yeah, it would be nice if the street was better paved, so it wouldn't get so muddy every time it rained, you know?" She leaned closer and closer to Anon with every word, until he had to lean back slightly to maintain his personal space.
"What are you talking about?"
"Oh no I left the laundry in the oven gotta go bye!" Pinkie disappeared back inside the store, the door slamming shut in her wake.
Anon looked at the door for a moment, confused, then just shrugged and stopped leaning away. Pinkie was easily the weirdest pony he had met so far, so he learned to not question some of the things she said or did.
The rain still wasn't letting up, but Anon used the cover of the awning to plan his route to his next delivery destination. Once he confirmed the address, he made sure everything was secured in his bag, took a deep breath, and stepped back out into the mud.
There was more struggling for footing and cursing as Anon's shoes became slowly caked in mud, to match how the rest of him was soaked to the bone. He knew Rarity wouldn't be happy about her work getting dirty like this, even if the clothes were basic, but there wasn't really anything he could do about it at the moment.
As Anon dropped another letter in another mailbox, he chuckled when he saw who was next. "Speak of the devil..."
The Carousel Boutique was only a short walk away, and surprisingly, Rarity wasn't alone. Her and Fluttershy sat at a table affixed with a large umbrella, where they munched away at their lunch.
Anon raised an eyebrow as he approached. "Didn't take you two for enjoying rainy dates."
"Oh, hello, Anon," Rarity greeted. "What brings you here?"
Anon walked under the edge of the umbrella and held up her letter. "Mail run."
While Rarity levitated the envelope to herself, Fluttershy asked, "Why are you delivering the mail? I thought you just sorted it."
"Mailmare called in sick," Anon said bluntly.
"How dreadful," Rarity said, "I do hope they get better."
Anon gestured to the daisy sandwich spread in front of them. "But yeah, why are you guys eating outside? I didn't think this was good picnic weather."
Rarity hesitated slightly. "Yes, well, Fluttershy here brought up the idea of eating in the rain, so I thought I might try it out with her."
Fluttershy nodded. "I find the rain quite relaxing, so I just thought that having lunch in it would be pleasant."
"And so far, I have to say, this is..." Rarity trailed off, staring into space. After a moment, she finally said, "...unique?"
"Oh, yes," Fluttershy helpfully added. "It's quite... interesting."
"Uh huh." Anon turned to leave. "Well, nice talking with you two, but I have a few more letters to drop off. The sooner I can finish, the sooner I can get out of this rain and mud."
Rarity winced at the mention of the mud. "I can see you've had more than your fair share of mud trekking, dearie."
Anon shrugged. "Yeah, but it's whatever. I'll deal with it later."
"It is a shame that they didn't have a jacket to give you," Fluttershy suddenly said.
Rarity said nothing, then jumped slightly in her seat. "Oh, right, yes, terrible shame. I wish I could help you, but, sadly, I have nothing in that would fit you right now, and by the time I made something, the rain would likely be over."
"Don't worry, it's fine," Anon waved her off. "I've been through worse, before. At least I don't have to sit in this rain while trying to figure out why my car stopped running."
Fluttershy tilted her head. "What's a car?"
"Nevermind, don't worry about it," Anon said. "Later, you two."
"Bye, Anon!"
"Do try and stay warm, darling!"
Anon trudged away from the picnicking ponies. He still didn't know why exactly they decided to eat out in the rain, especially on the day he just so happened to be forced to substitute for the mailmare.
...now that he thought about it, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie were acting a little unusual, too. It's almost like they went out of their way to not only talk with him as he made his run, but also to bring up how much it sucked to be walking through the rain and mud to do so.
Were they plotting something? Something against him specifically?
...nah, that couldn't be. He had been in Ponyville for a year now, and he never once had a reason to doubt any of Twilight's friends. The worst they'd do is a harmless prank or two, and it was never long before everyone involved had a good laugh about it.
Even still, what other explanation could there be for their weird behavior today?
He mulled over this as he delivered the next couple of letters. By now, he had grown accustomed to being soaked and muddy, so he only focused on maintaining a brisk walking pace to get this over with as soon as possible. He reached into the mailbag to see what his final stop would be.
As luck would have it, the final letter was addressed to himself.
Anon slowed down his walk and weighed his options. Since this was his, he could just return to the post office early, and hold onto the letter for when his shift was over. Then again, if he went home, he could simply hang out inside until the rain let up a bit, maybe even jump through the shower to warm himself up. If Boss asked what took him so long, he could just make up a story about the mud slowing him down or getting lost. He wasn't a pegasus, after all, nor was he used to being a mailman, so that was probably enough probable deniability to get away with some good old fashioned wage theft.
Sure, he considered Boss a friend, but there were some habits from home that he would never break.
After some thought, he decided to go home for a little while. He was pretty sure that his house was closer than the post office, right now, anyway.
He was back home after a short walk, but before he could let himself inside, someone called out, "Anon!"
He looked up just in time to see Twilight Sparkle fly down from the clouds, an umbrella held in her magical grasp. Anon was confused, and asked, "What's up, Twilight?"
Even though she was the one who initiated the conversation, Twilight now appeared to be somewhat at a loss for words. "Oh, you know, just kinda... uh... in the neighborhood, thought I'd pay you a visit, you know, as a friend!" She capped off the tirade with an unconvincing wide smile.
Anon stared right through her. "How did you know I was delivering mail?"
"How did-" Twilight's eyes went wide for the briefest of moments, but she recovered. "Oh, uh, Dash told me. Said she saw you earlier."
"Uh huh." The gears were turning in Anon's head. Between Twilight's awkward entrance and the earlier behavior of her friends, he had a feeling something was up. "So, why were you looking for me?"
"Because... uh..." Twilight's eyes darted from place to place, focusing on anything except the human in front of her.
Anon didn't wait for her to come up with another excuse. "Are you and your friends trying to tell me something?"
Twilight gasped. "How did you know?"
Anon smirked. "Because you just told me, Twiggle."
Twilight looked at the ground. "Oh." And then she snapped back up to Anon. "Hey!"
"Well, whatever plan you had, feel free to spill it," Anon said. Then he pointed at his front door and said, "Inside, though. I'm tired of this rain and I was gonna take a short break anyway."
Twilight smiled sheepishly. "Uh, right, of course."
Anon unlocked his door and let Twilight walk inside, her umbrella folding within her magic and then left leaning against the door frame. He took off his muddy shoes as soon as he could, then grabbed a towel from the bathroom and returned, already in the process of drying the rainwater off himself.
Twilight took a seat on the couch. There wasn't much furniture or decoration in Anon's house, mostly just the essentials. A couch, a recliner, a table, and a desk tucked away in a corner. Compared to her other friends, Anon's sense of decor was downright sparse. Even Applejack, the most straightforward mare Twilight knew, still had a few apple-themed items here and there to spice up her own living space.
Once Anon was satisfied with how dry he was, he plopped down into the recliner and faced Twilight. "Now, what was it you and your friends were trying to do?"
Twilight sighed. The jig was up. "Remember that talk we had about those 'taxes' of yours, and how we have the donation system instead?"
Anon nodded slowly. "I don't see where this is going, but yeah, I remember."
"Well, I remember how happy you were when you learned that paying them was strictly voluntary," Twilight explained.
Anon leaned forward. "Okay..."
Twilight grimaced slightly. "Plus, that weekend, I may have... spied on you a bit. Saw you trying to go on a shopping spree."
"Huh, that explains why I kept seeing you everywhere."
"Wait, what?" Twilight shot up in her seat. "You knew I was there?!"
"Yeah, you weren't very subtle," Anon said. "I didn't think anything of it, though, figured we just kept crossing paths as we went about our days. Ponyville's a small town, after all."
Twilight face-hooved, disappointed with herself even if Anon never realized her motive at the time. "Well, either way, I noticed you never went to the town hall to make a donation."
"Huh, I figured that's where I'd go for it," Anon said. "I wasn't really certain, but honestly I wasn't in a big hurry to find out."
Twilight looked at him. She didn't know if he was doing it on purpose, but Anon accidentally hit on the exact thing she wanted to talk to him about. "And why weren't you in a hurry to make a donation? Since you thought they were like those 'taxes' and mandatory, surely you already planned to do without that money?"
"I mean, yeah, sure," Anon relented, "but... I dunno, I'm just so used to having to pay taxes, that I guess I was in no hurry to pay that same money on my own if I didn't have to, you know?"
Twilight sighed and bowed her head. "I understand. If you grew up in such a dystopian society like that, then it only makes sense you'd have trouble acclimating to a much better system like our own."
"Okay, it wasn't really a dystopia, you keep exaggerating how bad it was."
Twilight ignored him and continued her speech. "Even still, I confess that I conspired with my friends to try and help you see the importance of donating for the good of society, so that our infrastructure can continue to operate smoothly." She pointed a hoof to a window, "From having adequate protection against the rain supplied for every job," she moved her hoof to Anon's muddy shoes, "to having better paved streets so there is less mud to deal with," she then pointed to Anon himself, "and even to ensure that employees of the government, such as yourself or even local police and guards, would continue to be paid a stable wage."
Anon sat in silence for many uncomfortable moments, digesting everything Twilight said. She began to fidget in her seat, until finally Anon broke the silence by asking, "Wait, were you going to make it look like someone broke into my house to drive home that last point?"
"ANYway," Twilight said, much too loudly, "we just wanted to help you see how important it is that everypony pitch in to help serve society as a whole. I know you didn't mean anything bad by not donating, but I still wanted to help get you out of the habits of your old world, and into ours."
Anon nodded. "I understand, Twilight. Still, this was quite a complex plan just to get me to pay my taxes. Err, donations." He waved a hand to the window. "I mean, made sure it rained today, threw extra dirt on the street to make it extra muddy, and even made sure the mailmare called in sick so that I'd have no choice but to go through it all."
"Actually, that last one wasn't us," Twilight said. "She really did call in sick today, although... yeah, I was going to request she get the day off either way. So a small coincidence, I guess."
Anon laughed. "You're one weird horse, Twilight Sparkle."
She smiled. "And you're one strange human, Anon."
They shared a laugh, and Anon stood up. "Tell you what, I'll go take a fistful of bits to city hall later today, after work. Then I'll-" He cut himself off with a rather violent sneeze. "Then I'll-" Once again, a sudden sneeze stopped his statement. "Shit."
Twilight jumped to her hooves. "Are you okay? You're not sick, are you?"
Anon rubbed a bit of snot off his nose. "Nah, I'm fine, just a little-" This time, he was cut off with a cough. "Probably just a cold, honestly."
This did nothing to reassure Twilight. "Oh, Celestia, I'm so sorry! This plan got you sick! We need to get you to the hospital!"
"Twilight, I'll be fine, I promise."
She picked up his entire body with her magic. "You're not from here, I'm not taking any chances!"
She ran out the door with him levitating behind her. "Wait, but my job...!"
"I'll tell them you got sick later!"
"It's just a normal cold, Miss Twilight."
Twilight awkwardly rubbed the back of her head. Anon was sat on an examination table at Ponyville General Hospital, and they were joined by a rather unamused Nurse Redheart.
"I told you," Anon said from the table. His voice had grown slightly stuffy, but was otherwise no worse from wear, apart from occasional sneezes or coughs.
"Well, better safe than sorry, you know?" Twilight said. "He's not a pony, and this is basically my fault, and... you know?"
Redheart rolled her eyes and turned to Anon. "Just get some bed rest for the next few days and you'll be fine. You're free to go."
She left the room, and Anon stepped down from the exam table. Twilight spoke up as soon as he did. "Even if it's just a cold, I still got you sick over some crazy scheme to convince you to pay donations. Sorry, Anon."
"No problem, Twilight," Anon said. "Water under the bridge."
"I can at least do something to make it up to you," Twilight said as she led them out. "I'll get Rarity to make a good raincoat for you, free of charge."
"You don't have to do that," Anon said. "But, uh, thanks."
"And you were serious about making that donation later today?"
"Of course," Anon said.
They emerged into the sunny, rain-soaked daylight. With Twilight's plan discovered, there was no reason to keep the rain going for the rest of the day.
"You were right about one thing," Anon said, "this place is better than back home."
"Oh really?" Twilight said.
Anon gestured back at the hospital. "Yeah, that went way quicker than it would've back home, and they didn't even ask about my health insurance!"
They shared a laugh that was cut short by Anon sneezing again. After a moment, Twilight asked, "What's health insurance?"