The bell above Sugarcube Corner's door rang as I made my way inside, pulling myself a seat at the table. "Hiya Jungle!" Pinkie greeted from across the counter. "What can I getcha?"
"Mint milkshake, please."
No sooner had the words left my muzzle before a light green milkshake had appeared in front of me, the blur known as Pinkie Pie standing right beside it. "Uh, thanks," I said, a little jarred before pulling it close and taking a sip from the pink straw.
"Rough day?" Pinkie asked, her voice still its usual chipper tone. I shrugged, pulling my hat off and setting it next to me.
"A bit, yeah," I replied, getting words in between sips. "I've had worse."
Pinkie grabbed her own milkshake, a pink one which I could only assume was strawberry flavored before taking a seat across from me. She opted out of using a straw, instead just drinking straight from the glass before comically licking the frosting off her face. "What kind of worse?"
"Ever been to Tenochtitlan?"
The mare hyper-nodded. "Yep! My friends and I all went there just a week or two ago! Why?"
Oh, right. I mentally kicked myself for that off-hoof remark. Sometimes I had a tendency to speak before thinking of what I was saying. And in this case, reminding some particular ponies of the Basin was not the greatest of ideas. "Oh, well, it's just difficult in there, you know? There were plenty of days where the gang and I struggled to get by when we were far from town."
"What gang?"
And there I went again. Darn you, brain! "Just some fellow adventurer friends." Yeah, real smooth. Smooth as sandpaper. "You tend to find those kinds of ponies a lot out there if you look."
"Cool!" Just like that, her milkshake was empty, rattling on the table. "So how is Ponyville?" I opened my muzzle to respond when she cut me off. "Oh wait, I never asked you how you thought your party was!" Pinkie's face pressed against mine as she leaned forward out of her seat. "Did you like it? Huh? Huh?"
Lightly pushing the pink earth pony off of me, I nodded. "Yes, Pinkie, I liked it. I have to admit, I've never had a party like that before."
The party pony gasped. "Really?!"" Zooming around the table, she pulled me into a massive hug, making it difficult to breathe. "Well, I Pinkie Promise you that I will make sure you get the best parties ever! You're going to party like you've never partied before!"
"I'm looking forward to the next one. Speaking of, when is that exactly?"
Pinkie tapped her chin with a hoof a few times before reaching into her mane and pulling out a calendar. "Hm, let's see... We already had the Summer Sun Celebration, so assuming that nothing happens that I don't know about, which happens a lot but I can't know that so I couldn't tell you even if I wanted to, it would be Rainbow's birthday party!"
Oh. How inconvenient. "Well, uh, I see," I said lamely, rubbing one of my front legs.
Her eyes narrowed. "You wouldn't miss Rainbow's birthday, would you?"
"No no, of course not!" I put my hooves up defensively, worried about what would happen if I didn't. "Just... it's complicated, okay?"
"Okay! But you should get going, you're going to be late for your meeting with Rarity!"
I blinked, checked the time, and realized that she was indeed correct. "How did you- you know what, I really need to stop asking that. Thanks, Pinkie, gotta gallop now!" I shoved my hat back onto my head as I pushed the door open and began the journey across Ponyville.
"Bye!" I heard faintly behind me. "Say hi to Rarity for me!"
"Oh, by the way, Pinkie said hi."
Rarity nodded as she used her tape to get yet another measurement of my form, obviously too involved in her work to pay much attention. "You know darling, I still don't quite understand why you only want one suit. I could have a whole ensemble made for you if you wanted."
"Meh." I would have raised a hoof to emphasize my lack of enthusiasm, but unfortunately both of said body parts were very much in use. By Rarity. Being measured.
Did I mention that this had been going on for at least fifteen minutes?
"I just don't see the need to have multiple suits I'm never going to use," I finally answered as the white mare moved around behind me. "You know I'm almost never going to use them, I know I'm almost never going to use them, so what's the point?"
"What's the point? What's the point? Appearance is everything, darling! Why, I wouldn't want to be caught dead outside Canterlot wearing the same thing twice in a row! And you are going there tomorrow!"
With one finally free, I waved a hoof around dismissively. "Impressing high society isn't what I'm there for, you know. If you hadn't offered to make one I would have just gone in my normal vest outfit. Oh, and thanks for that, by the way."
Now it was Rarity's turn to wave a hoof. How unoriginal. "It's my pleasure. I can't have you looking like a complete ruffian out there. In fact, I'll make sure all eyes are on you!" The mare stepped back, finally putting her equipment away. "Finished!"
Oh, thank Celestia. Trotting off the stage, I took a seat and let myself recover from all that standing around while grabbing my hat from the nearby coat hanger. "You know, I'm actually looking forward a bit to what you have planned," I admitted while instinctively shaking my hat to check for any insects or spiders before realizing that I was inside a building. "Usually I- well, you saw what I was wearing at the party."
"Hm, quite. Jungle work, I suppose? Must be simply dreadful, having to be out there all the time. I could barely stand the time Dash and the rest of us had to go to Tenochtitlan for a day!"
And there went my temporary positive feelings towards Rarity. "You get used to it," I responded in a flat tone, getting up and making for the door. "Well, I really should be going. As much as I'd love to stay, I would prefer to get to Sweet Apple Acres before sundown."
Rarity was already once again too enveloped in an imagination bubble to hear me. "Yes, yes, alright. I'll make sure to have your suit delivered before tomorrow morning. Say hello to Applejack for me, will you?"
Huh. Was this gonna be a chain or something? Hopefully not, considering I wasn't planning on going anywhere but home after seeing Applejack. After giving a hidden eye roll and a mock salute, I pushed the door open and headed back out into the bright afternoon sun.
"Just watch, Applejack. I'm sure I'll get it this time!" After making sure my back hooves were lined up correctly, I reared up and bucked the apple tree behind me as hard as I could. Yet, despite the entire tree shaking, only a few apples fell from the branches above into the bucket. My disappointment manifested in its usual audible sigh.
"Keep practicin', sugarcube," the apple farmer said encouragingly as she bucked her own tree, every single apple falling neatly into another bucket. "Took me a while to get the hang of things, too."
"Yeah, I know. It's just... I'm an Earth Pony, I'm supposed to be good at things like this! Sometimes it just feels I got the short end of the three tribes... no offense."
Applejack put her filled bucket of fruit next to the others neatly stacked nearby before trotting over. "None taken, partner. We might not have magic or wings, but we have each other, and that's what counts!" Her hoof shook my shoulder. "Now how about we go have some cider?"
My dour expression immediately brightened up. "Yeah, that sounds good. I think that's enough work for today for me."
After I had heaved my own apple bucket onto the pile, Applejack and I started the not-so-long trek back to the farmhouse. Time must have gone by faster than I thought because the sun was already well on its descent towards the hills by the time I had gotten my mug of cider and was sitting down watching the brilliant hues it made. The cider's taste was absolutely legendary as well; it had to sell well.
"You know, Applejack, this is the kind of life I've dreamed about," I said after taking another sip from my drink. "Simple farming, watching the sunset, the whole thing. This is what I wanted."
"Really?" the orange pony replied, sounding genuinely surprised.
"Yeah. I mean, you just don't get these views in Tenochtitlan with all the jungle, and at this point I'm just tired, you know? Tired of action, tired of crazy adventures. It's just nice to relax and unwind sometimes."
"Yep." She took a drink from her own mug of cider. "It may not be much, but I wouldn't trade Sweet Apple Acres for the world."
A silence followed those words, as both of us just took in the peaceful nature of the farm. The fresh air with just a hint of apples, the trees still lightly adorned with apples, the farm buildings with apple images on them... did I mention that Sweet Apple Acres was pretty heavy on apples? I guess it was a dedication to the craft or something.
Finishing my cider, I put the mug on a nearby outside table. "Well, it was nice being here, but I really should start heading back to Ponyville. I would rather get back home before sundown."
Applejack opened her mouth to respond, but somepony else beat her to the punch. "Oh, and here I thought that I was going to have to watch you two propose!"
I didn't recognize the voice, but Applejack clearly did. "Discord!" she shouted to the air.
The air in front of us flashed, and a creature I had never seen before materialized before us. "Why, Applejack," the being I assumed was Discord said, "whatever may be the reason for calling me? I'm a very busy Lord of Chaos, you know."
"Don't play dumb with me, Discord! I know you're the one who said that just now!"
"Said what?" A massive fan appeared next to the long, slender mismatched creature, who began blowing in the wind like a flag. "It must have just been the wind, my dear. Oh, and I see you have a new friend!" Both he and the fan disappeared, with Discord reappearing wrapped around me, a claw under my chin. "You must be the pony Fluttershy was telling me about! We simply must have a little chat at her cottage before you go."
If Discord hadn't been holding me in place, I would have taken a step back. "Oh, uh, I really should be getting back, it's getting late..." I stammered, not quite sure what was going on anymore.
"It'll take just a moment. Goodbye Applejack, you've been an excellent host!" He tipped his Stetson goodbye, which Applejack quickly recognized was her own, and snatched it out of Discord's lion paw.
Then with a single snap, the world went white.
Given that I wasn't usually in contact with many unicorns in Tenochtitlan, the act of teleportation immediately left me feeling nauseous as I sat on the floor. Discord was sitting a few feet away in a cushioned chair, a pair of reading glasses on and reading a heavy leather-bound book.
"You know, when Fluttershy told me about you I was quite surprised," he started, adjusting his glasses with a claw like a professor. "Your appearance here makes this entire script completely obsolete!" Slamming the book closed, he tossed it over his shoulder, the piece of literature making an explosion behind him. "But then again, when is knowing everything fun?"
My mind was still a little addled, but even if I was at full mental capacity I was sure that I still wouldn't understand what the heck Discord was saying. I just shrugged, getting up and taking my own seat on a nearby couch.
Discord tipped his reading glasses down at me. "Not much of a talker anymore, are we? Perhaps you'd like a good book instead? I'm sure I have a 'Beginner's Guide to Chaos' copy here somewhere..." He reached his lion paw through a portal, rummaging around. I heard a cat screech and a dog bark from the other side.
"Well, actually..."
"Oh, I almost forgot!" Discord teleported right in front of me, floating upside down. "How silly of me, I almost forgot about that! Apologies, it won't happen again. Though I suggest you don't tell our little Princess Twilight about it; why, who knows what she'd do if she found out!"
At this point I had fully recovered from my brief stint of confusion, though what he was saying still wasn't making any sense, just like I had expected. "What are you talking about, Discord? I made sure to specifically say that Twilight can't go into my-"
And then it hit me like a brick. I knew exactly what he was talking about. "Yeah... you're probably right on that one. For a second I thought you might have meant my-"
"Yes, yes, your nice golden ring. I suppose you should keep that under wraps as well."
"You're not going to tell them about it, are you?" I asked with just the slightest hint of suspicion in my voice.
Discord looked both offended and shocked at the same time. "Moi? Why, I would never! Your secret is safe with me." His mouth became a zipper, which he promptly zipped closed before very obviously pointing at it with both paw and claw.
Yeah, okay. That was definitely enough reality-breaking for one day. "Well, guess I couldn't stop you if you wanted to tell, so I'll believe you. I really should be getting home, though."
"Ugh, fine! And here I thought that we could have a nice pleasant conversation. Oh well, maybe next time!" A floating limb appeared by the front door of Fluttershy's cottage across the hall, opening it. "And remember, don't blame me if someone spills the beans!"
I completely expected there to be some sort of bean-related activity as I looked behind me after walking to the door, but nope. In fact, Discord was gone entirely. I gave the cottage one more look-around to make sure everything was normal (and that it couldn't be blamed on me) before I stepped out and closed the door behind me.
"Um, Jungle? What were you doing in my house? If you're okay with me asking, of course."
"Discord," I replied flatly, hoping that Fluttershy would understand. She nodded, just as I hoped she would.
"Oh, I'm sorry about that. Sometimes Discord just does things like that. I could talk to him about it if you want." Well, at least we were having an actual conversation now. Last time we had talked, the butterscotch mare had gotten so reclusive that by the end of it I could barely hear what she was saying. Apparently it was something normal for her.
"Nah, it's fine. He just needed to ask a few things. I'll see you around, Fluttershy."
She nodded. "Okay, see you later!" And as she retreated back into her cottage and I crossed the bridge back towards Ponyville, I could finally cross that little detour off my list. And with that, I got everything I needed to do in Ponyville done! Once I got a good night's sleep, it would finally be time to hit the road again with Twilight.
Next stop, Canterlot!