The straps on my outfit were too damn tight, but the adrenaline coursing through me negated those thoughts. The helmet fastened on my head couldn’t keep my smile from reaching ear to ear. How many chances do you have to jump out of a plane thousands of feet in the air and get legally blasted later that night with your best friends? Ah, the miracles of a twenty first birthday. Drinking and partying and being able to actually do everything that you’re supposed to do when you’re eighteen and an “adult.”
I’ve been what most people consider a fairly normal guy, spending most of my time studying, having a few friends to go out with on the weekends to have some fun. My main hobby was writing, and creating things to show to other people, both in person, published, and anonymously. Well, as anonymously as you can get nowadays on the internet. More than once I was tempted to go off the grid, but the digital landscape was too much of a draw.
Roller coasters. Roller coasters used to stress me out so much that even being near a line for one would send me into a frenzy to grab an ice cream cone or a funnel cake or whatever else carnival eateries serve. I got over that a few years back, but that feeling still came over me time and time again whenever I would go to an amusement park. The same feeling was trying to take over now, but I was still grinning like an idiot.
At 10,000 feet.
With a parachute.
About to jump out of a plane going over three hundred miles per hour.
...
Okay, maybe I was a tad apprehensive, but hey, what would you do the first time you jumped out of a plane?
Anyhow, I was up there after a long, mostly wordless flight. The nervous atmosphere was so thick you could cut it like a knife through scrib jelly. I love the Elder Scrolls games. In fact, I love most video games that let you do whatever you want within reason, and even those that don’t. So maybe I let some references into my vernacular, but it’s just too easy and fun to make people double take. Wait, what were we talking about, something about nervousness and rambling about rando-
Okay, I was scared. There you go.
I’m an acrophobic, and I was nearly pissing myself from fright. That smile wasn’t from happiness; that was just my body trying to reassure my concerned friends. They knew I was afraid of heights, but they figured that since I was all “safe and secure” with my parachute, I would be less afraid. Yeah, right, but it was too late to back out now. I was in this to win this. Or have a heart attack, I forget which one came first.
Realization dawned on me; I had conquered my fear of roller coasters just a few years before by jumping right in, like my friends had suggested. I love roller coasters now, and here I was in the same situation where I just need to get the worst out of the way and enjoy it. But this definitely was not something I terribly wanted to do.
As I was lost in my thought, the instructor turned towards us and shouted over the roar of the air and engines of the flight. “Alright, birthday boy goes first! Remember to just lean out and push off with your feet! Chin up, arms and legs out and in the correct position!” Yes, this was drilled into my head already, but thank you for your concern anyways.
“800 meters, pull that cord, got it?” I nodded, a look of trepidation on my face. “Alright, step up and get ready!” He opened the door and I crouched in front of it.
Wow, that’s a long fall. Really long fall.
With that, I pushed off and started to sky dive. Falling through the air was terrifying and gratifying, both at the same time somehow. The horizon had a curvature that I never thought I would see without sitting on my rear and watching it on the Discovery channel or something.
I felt oddly at peace as I fell through the sky, becoming one with the air, gravity and the Earth’s natural beauty as a whole. I wanted to just float there and look out at the view I had so generously been given by my trolling, yet caring, friends.
I pulled myself out of the trance and glanced at my altimeter, making sure I was safe. I guess I could pull at 1000 meters, just to be safe. I was surprised I hadn’t pulled it earlier, seeing how I fucking HATE falling and heights and such. I was honestly surprised that I was allowing my self-loathing to come out in such a sudden manner.
Gripping the cord on my chest, I prepared for a sudden jerk and then a slow descent to the ground below me that I had gazed upon so wonderingly. With what would have been a sight on the ground without my face melting, I pulled the cord and prepared for the sudden jerking back of the chute.
An obviously audible click was heard, and I was startled. Might need to pull harder the second time.
Nothing. Pretty sure that’s supposed to be a nice fwip and then thump, then slow moving towards the ground I thought, being a wise ass.
My mind just froze as I feel through the air. What do you think when you realize you’re about to die? I checked my altimeter and I felt ice falling into my stomach and the blood leave my head. 800 meters. Well looks like you can't trust the system, man!
I started to panic, the sarcasm and cynicism just seconds ago clouding my thoughts gone, my mind going into massive overdrive. I thought at a million miles a second and started panicking a lot more than I thought possible. Every single moment of my life flashed through my head. Then I stopped and thought.
So your life actually DOES flash before your eyes before you die.
And then I flipped back over so the wind was out of my face. I checked my altimeter. 500 meters. With that I started screaming, but it was too late. My friends had pulled their chutes, and I was left to fall to my death.
I was thoroughly pissed off at life, and my predicament, and my friends for pulling me along on this stupid trip. Then I thought about life. About my family, about my idiots of friends, about that one girl at the counter of that one store… Which one was it? Oh well. Blah blah blah something philosophical about life and my time being now and shit. Whatever. This sucks, so I’ll be honest about the one thought I had before I died.
It was fun while it lasted.
/thread
And then I hit the ground.
My conscious thought came back to me suddenly, and I tried to open my eyes. Nothing felt real, but everything felt alive at the same time. Darkness, the space of nothing, zilch, nada, filled my... vision? Gazing downward I found my body to be gone, and nothing hurt.
Nothing hurts...
Even though I felt like a floating cloud of consciousness and nothingness, I began to feel a presence wrap itself around me, like a warm blanket fresh out of the dryer. The euphoric feelings passed over me like waves, over and over and over again, until I felt like I couldn't be any better off in these depths of a vast nothing.
Off in the (relative) distance, another... something came into being. The warmth was soon gone, and I felt a freezing feeling spread throughout the... dreamscape, I guess you would call it. As the something grew larger and more present, a sudden feeling of burning, tearing, and searing hot pain ran through my mind and everything felt like an event horizon opened up and began to swallow me up.
I began to tumble towards the vast space, and as I was strewn apart and pieced back together, the pain only became greater and greater. A light at the end drew me in and soon-
My eyes shot open and I was greeted by the clear blue above me. No clouds, not a single speck to ruin the view I had. My brain jolted back to itself and I flailed around helplessly, screaming and crying out as my final moments came rushing back like the wind in my fa-
"NO! STOP! BUCK OFF!"
The yell echoed around wherever the hay I was, and that brought me back to reality. I scanned the surroundings to see if I could get my bearings from them.
Trees. Lots of trees, some with apples on them, some bare, some covered in late summer/early fall coloured leaves. The grass was fairly tall, maybe three or four inches, the various flowers and thistles and such were strewn about and plentiful in shape, size and scent. Some hills were off in the distance, far away from where I was, covered in the perfect green grass all around me.
"Where the hay am I?" My amazed mumbling was cut off by the sound of running hooves(?) coming towards where I was, the leaves and twigs rustling and breaking under the trampling.
When I tried to get up, my body let me push my forehooves to the ground and I fell as I stood up. The sight that greeted me as I glanced at my lower body sent me over the edge.
"What the hay? What happened to my body!?" Frantically spinning my head around to and fro... "Help! Somethings wrong here!" The hoofsteps(!) got closer, and as it drew my attention, the sight that greeted me was unlike anything I had or ever will see again.
An yellow horse thing with a tie in it's pink hair stared at me, and I stared back. Looking back down at my body, and then back up, my mind began to peter out, the fumes it was running on turned into jelly.
"Uhm... are you alright mister?"
That thing just spoke to me.
And that's when I promptly passed out.