So you're probably wondering, "Hey Mr. White Skies, who are you?" Well you see, I'm now a pegasus pony who used to be a human that suffered from acrophobia, or fear of heights. And falling. And splatting into the ground after a very unfortunate incident involving planes, defunct parachutes, and a terrible jump instructor.
It's a HiE turned Pony story, so it's not very original in that sense. But I figured how would a human adapt to depending on the one thing that he fears the most?
Some minor language in the prolouge, but the rest is mostly clean.
Edit: The feelsy-romance-y stuff is in the Interludes, told from a 3rd POV. Skip em if you want, it's not crucial to the plot.
Chapters (3)
So far so good, I can't say I see anything I disagree with how you're starting. I really appreciate how you don't dwell too long on this chump's previous life and just cut to the chase.
1209806
Trust me, after reading all of Tom Clancy's "Jack Ryan" novels, I don't mess around with context and all that bull. Have you read those things?
A ponified pegasus scared to fly. This could get interesting!
Um watch out for that.... *thud* ...hoof...
darn...
at least it wasnt Big Mac...
1209846
Yeah, that would suck dying twice in the span of 20 minutes or so.
1209826
No, but I've read too many HiE fics that start out wasting a whole chapter detailing exactly what I don't care about, which was their boring, old human lives. They tend to be an attempt at quickly building a character before going on with the story, which is just transparent and lazy to me. I prefer at character building as the story is going along.
1209860
Well Mr Chump's character (that's how I'm going to refer to his human form from now on) will be developing as soon as I develop it
I found only one problem: Descent vs Decent.
1212644
Aww damn, I thought I triple checked my checklist to tell me that I had to check those two then double and triple check them. Thanks.
Edit: Thar we go. *massive brain fart moment*
Oh, that's a good way to start out your new life in a new world and a new body; accidently scare a little girl so badly that her big sister decides to cave your head in...smooth.
Heh, being forced into using alien nomenclature is certainly amusing.
So, not only did it change his body, it forcibly changed his vocabulary AND name?
Wow, sucks to be him.
1216933 1217014
Yep. Imagine being forced to say "horseapples" and "flying feather" and such. How ridiculous would it be saying that in real life, and then imagine saying that in a world where you have no buckin' clue whats going on.
1217040
The only plus is that you don't have to worry about your profanity not being understood.
1217047
Therefore ensuring that everyone understands you are a total dickface. It's perfect!
Oh my, is this hinting towards our wayward protagonist getting himself a harem~?
1239430
Not going to spoil anything. But it's going to be quite awkward and hilarious.
I can see a lot of laughs coming in the future
Ok, this one sold me... switching from "read later" to "fave"
Having Pinkie explain how the gender imbalance/dating works in a completely serious manner is Epic!
Please. Whatever you do, do not explain how Pinkie Pie works. Not explaining her keeps a bit of a balance in the story, because we can then tell how used to the world the protagonist is getting to the world judging by how used they are to Pinkie. I only say this because I read a story once where a character did explain Pinkie and, while the explanation was sufficient in the story, completely ruined it.
1243855
I was hesitant to put in that part where she explained everything because of that. She'll be in the story later on, but ill avoid elaborating too much from now on. Thanks the concern <3
So! Many! Feeeeels!!!
1276879
I wasn't even thinking it would be feels-worthy. So thanks!
This is really nice so far, I really like HiEs that deal more with how the protagonist copes with the whole scenario rather than there being some sort of contrived plot involving evil powers or him being "the chosen one" or something like that. You just went with him dying, becoming a pony, and now the focus appears to be him coping with that fact and some sweet comfort/shipping alongside it.
Looking forward to more~
I believe you mean neatly.
Granny Smith's cutie mark is a pie. Presumably apple.
1277846
Sheeit. I got served.
But really, i meant nearly. However, neatly sounds better.
Also, I'm stupid, so thanks for pointing that out :3
*encounter Hypocrisy Chapter 5*
*Hypocrisy Chapter 5 used Feels*
*Super Effective. Critical hit. Knocked out!*
OMG this is one awesometastic story
...waaiiittt a minute...is this little "vernacular filter" only affecting him then?...
1342436
I didn't have a pony word to replace it, so blargablarg
1343011 Bitch is a female dog and not an inherently human concept, Winona=Bitch. No reason not to have similar slang as long as it's not based on 'man'. Mood Wings huh? Good story, I'll have to re-read it and take notes on the details... ya know, if this story really does get continued.
"Umm, alright? Have fun you too."
"Umm, alright? Have fun you two."
1780575
Yes i know what it is, and i have no other creative replacement for it.
Also, I'll fix that.
1783667 Well that's what I was saying, it doesn't really need any replacement or 'ponification'... in other words I was DEFENDING your use of it and providing logical argument AGAINST the guy complaining about it.
1784339
Oh, ok. Just you replied to my comment so i was like "rlly gaiz? rlly?"
My bad
Is this story dead?
2859249
Maybe for a while. I dunno. I had some life stuff I had to go through so I might get back into the swing of things.
2983921 hope you come back to it, though I'm confused, this chapter and the first 2 chapters don't match up with a few things