CHAPTER II
SCOOTAQUESTION
CHAPTER II
SCOOTAQUESTION
Diamond Tiara found Apple Bloom in the makeshift kitchen, among several other Apple Blooms – cooking for three hundred Scootaloos had proved too hard for just one pony, and after another trip to the mirror pool Apple Bloom got a dozen helpers, labelled from A to L.
“May I talk to you for a moment?” Diamond asked, looking around and shivering. For some reason, the sight of all those identical ponies always creeped her out.
“What’s up?” Apple Bloom put the frying pan down. Unlike her clones, clad in aprons with their letters on them, she wore a blue vest. Sweetie Belle and her five clones still had a lot of work with clothing.
“I don’t think it was a good idea,” Diamond Tiara said.
“What?” Helpin’ Scootaloo?”
“Nah,” Diamond Tiara replied. “I mean, those clones are already bad enough. Currently we have thirteen Apple Blooms, six Sweetie Belles, and two hundred ninety-seven Scootaloos running around this place. I include the originals, of course.”
“So?” Apple Bloom asked. “Also, ya got a clone too!”
“Dee-Dee? She’s not running around here.” Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes. “I’m teaching her to be like me so she can go to school for me when the vacation ends. And what I’m saying is, someone’s gonna notice. I know Applejack doesn’t come here, but I’m pretty sure some pegasi fly above us from time to time! A huge herd of identical fillies is kinda visible.”
Apple Bloom shrugged. “Do ya think pegasi ever look at the ground?”
“Okay.” Diamond Tiara groaned. “But someone may find the ones we lost. Scootaloos 007, 147, 191, and 227, if I recall correctly. What if they find some remains in the manticore’s nest? Or if the rotting body of 227 emerges from the lake and someone recognises her? Not to mention that all I found when I tried to look for 191 was her collar and half of a wing with bite marks. And I recognised pony’s teeth before I threw up.”
“Don’t worry.” Apple Bloom pointed at the Scootaloos running around the barns and training take-offs and landings. “This won’t last much longer.”
“And what are you planning to do, then?” Diamond Tiara asked. “The winner teaches the real Scootaloo to fly. That still leaves us with hundreds of clones! I mean, we could sell them to some lead mine as cheap labour…”
“Well, Twilight kinda sent them Pinkie clones back to the pool…”
Diamond Tiara froze. “Are you telling me they’re still trapped there?”
“Ask Sweetie.” Apple Bloom shrugged. “They’re like, hangin’ between life an’ death…”
“I never thought I’d say that, but I suddenly want to go back home and hug my clone,” Diamond muttered. “More than ever, because she’s just perfect.”
“She looks exactly like ya!” Apple Bloom exclaimed. “Also, Ah have no idea what will we do with them. Silver is in charge of that!”
“Yeah, that’s another thing I wanted to talk about,” Diamond said. “I don’t think it was a good idea to let Silver manage this whole place.”
“Why?” Apple Bloom asked. “She’s doin’ great!”
Silver Spoon stood on an empty cider barrel and looked at the rows of Scootaloo clones standing before her in attention. Some of them were still panting after the morning training, but all of them looked at her with awe. She smirked and cleared her throat.
“Good job, everypony!” she exclaimed. “Our strength lies in our speed and our numbers. Soon, we’ll achieve my goal together! You will be unstoppable! Once you learn to fly, nothing in Equestria is going to get in my way!”
One of the Scootaloos raised her hoof. “Wasn’t our goal to help Scootaloo Zero to learn to fly? I don’t know what being unstoppable has to do with that.”
“Details.” Silver Spoon waved her hoof. “Your will to learn is what makes you unstoppable! We shall use your knowledge and perseverance to achieve my goals! Grave decisions are approaching! You fight not only for ourselves, but also for the generations to come! A historical task of unique dimensions has been entrusted to us by the Creator that we are now obliged to carry out!” She grinned and took a deep breath. “Just as Celestia once made her immortal contribution to the building and defense of Equestria, now we have to continue–”
“Eat shit!” someone exclaimed in the back of the crowd.
Silver blushed. “Who said that?”
The clones looked at each other and responded with a collective shrug. Silver’s eye twitched. “Get back to the training!” she shouted, jumping off the box and smacking the nearest clone. “Right now!”
Even in the faint light of the fireflies, Scootaloo 021 could see the scribbles on the walls of Fifty-Three’s cell were now covering at least a half of the floor. She shuddered, reading the sentence right beneath her hooves. The one who possesses the deepest knowledge of Rainbow Dash shall be the one true Scootaloo. Next to it, there was a mysterious, The town. The town. What’s in the town? followed by, There isn’t enough.
“I see you redecorated.” Twenty-One chuckled briefly, but her laughter died down when she saw Fifty-Three’s stern gaze.
“It was a bad idea to heckle Silver like that,” Fifty-Three muttered. “Don’t give out our plan before it’s ready. Let’s take a walk.”
They got out of the cage. Nopony really guarded the barns, aside from a couple of Apple Bloom clones, but they were asleep anyway. What really kept the Scootaloos in them was the simple fact that they didn’t know anything other than this place. This, however, was rapidly changing.
“Where are we going?” Twenty-One asked.
“To Hundred-and-Fifty,” Scootaloo 053 replied. “She’s our ally in Barn Two. We’re planning to sneak out during tomorrow’s training and visit the town.”
“Why the town?” Scootaloo 021 shrugged. “I hope there’s food there.”
“Lots of it,” Fifty-Three said. “Hundred-and-Fifty once got lost in there and says they have places where you can get more food than you can imagine.”
“I can imagine quite a lot.” Twenty-One looked at her stomach. “Do you think they have sandwiches in Barn Two? I stole Twenty-Two’s protein shake, but I’m afraid she’s gonna tell Silver Spoon.”
Fifty-Three smirked. “She still can’t speak normally.”
“Yes, but she’s an ingenious retard.” Scootaloo 021 sighed. “She’ll learn to speak just to fuck me up.”
They sneaked inside Barn Two. Most of the clones there were gathered around a bonfire in the middle of the building. Scootaloo 053 immediately noticed that they were burning the walls separating the cages from each other. The clone uprising in Barn Two was going much faster than in One.
“The thing is, we still have to buy time,” said the Scootaloo sitting near the fire, her body wrapped in a blanket. She looked at the crowd. “Remember, it’s important to keep learning to fly, but without actually learning to fly. If you do, lie. Pretend that you’re still learning until everything is ready.”
“Hello, Hundred and Fifty!” Scootaloo 053 exclaimed. “I see the preparations are going well.”
“Oh, the uprising is an easy part,” Scootaloo 150 replied. “Tomorrow, I’ll send the ten of my best apprentices to the Everfree while we go to explore the town. But what’s actually important is maintaining our rule after the victory. As soon as we riot, we need to seize the means of production. The farm, the orchards, everything. I was thinking of that power plant by the lake. It doesn’t seem to be heavily guarded.”
“True,” Scootaloo 053 muttered, making a mental note to get rid of Hundred-and-Fifty before she’d get too powerful. “We’ll think of it when we’re established in the town. Now, we have to prepare for our mission…”
The morning in Ponyville was rather chilly, despite the summer sun. Ponies were walking around the market, paying attention only to things such as new batch of roses at Lily’s stall or the sudden tomato price rise. Three little fillies lurked in the nook, staring at the crowd. They’d seen it from some distance before, but after spending a couple of weeks in the barns with only familiar faces—or rather one face—around, the sight of so many different ponies made their knees weak.
“What if they see that we’re all the same?” Scootaloo 150 asked. “What if they start asking us for Rainbow Dash trivia? I feel like I already forgot half of them…”
“What if we accidentally meet Zero?” Twenty-One shuddered, throwing nervous glances around.
“We’ve seen her. She’s in the orchard, remember?” Fifty-Three rolled her eyes. “Come on, guys. It’s all in the attitude.” She turned to Twenty-One. “Are you a real Scootaloo?”
“Well, technically… Nah,” Twenty-One replied.
“And we all still look the same.” Hundred-and-Fifty said.
“Have you ever tried a disguise?” Twenty-One shrugged.
“All I found was this saxophone.” Hundred-and-Fifty produced a saxophone and tried to play it, with rather poor results. “And Fifty-Three got a net.”
Fifty-Three groaned. “Do I have to give you a lesson in trickery? Just follow my moves and sneak around...”
“Don’t make a sound.” Twenty-One shot Hundred-and-Fifty a glare when they walked across the square. Hundred-and-Fifty immediately hid her saxophone.
“Good morning!” Fifty-Three smiled at the minty-green unicorn who was looking at them. “Come on,” she whispered to her partners in crime. “Don’t make eye contact.”
The minty-green mare took a second glance at them before shrugging and walking to the stand with pencils and rare battle axes.
“That was close,” Fifty-Three muttered, rushing towards the houses on the other side of the square. However, before she and her companions reached them, Twenty-One bumped into some filly with long, curly red mane and purple glasses.
“Watch out!” Twenty-One shouted when they both collapsed. The filly lost several comics which scattered around them.
“You watch out!” the filly replied, picking up the comics. “Those are expensive, you know.”
“They are?” Twenty-One muttered, scratching her head.
“You’d know if you read something from time to time, Scootaloo,” the filly said, fixing her glasses. “Also, it’s not even about the comics. It’s comics, Button Mash, and breakfast menu at HayDonald’s.”
“Who?” Fifty-Three asked.
“Of all the ponies, I’d expect you to know Button Mash, Sweetie Belle!” the filly exclaimed. “Especially after you tried to steal him from me!” She huffed and walked away.
The three Scootaloos looked at each other.
“Hey, she thought Twenty-One was Zero without asking her for Rainbow Dash trivia!” Hundred-and-Fifty exclaimed. “I didn’t expect that!”
“I’m more confused by the fact that she thought I was Sweetie Belle.” Fifty-Three scratched her mane. “Do you think she was blind or just didn’t pay attention?” She shrugged. “Let’s go, Twenty-One. Twenty-One?”
“Did she say ‘breakfast menu’?” Scootaloo 021 asked. She followed the red-maned filly with her gaze and suddenly started drooling, seeing the Egg HayMuffin ads in the window of the building the filly was heading to.
“Oh no,” Hundred-and-Fifty muttered.
“Oh yes!” Twenty-One took off in an awkward manner, running like an albatross, and flew towards the restaurant.
“Oh, shit.” Fifty-Three smacked her forehead with her hoof. “Twenty-One! Come back, you Rainbow-damn hog!”
“Can’t win against food,” Scootaloo 150 said. “Come on. She knows the way back.”
“What if she gets caught?” Fifty-Three asked. “What if they ask her for Rain–”
“Hi, Scootaloo!” a grey pegasus colt landed next to them. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”
Both Scootaloos looked at each other. “Umm…” Hundred-and-Fifty smiled sheepishly. “Hello.”
“I’ve been wondering if you’d go with me to Featherweight’s birthday,” the colt said, blushing slightly.
“Sure, why not.” Scootaloo 150 chuckled. “It’s Featherweight’s birthday already?”
The colt nodded, straightening his mane with his wing. “Great! Well, it’s tomorrow, but we have to get ready…” He turned to Fifty-Three who watching him with an increasing frown. “You can come too, Apple Bloom. I’ve heard Tender Taps is coming.” He smiled sheepishly and took off.
“Okay, next time I’m Scootaloo,” Fifty-Three muttered after a moment of awkward silence they spent processing what just happened. “Why does everyone assume anypony hanging out with her must be either Apple Bloom or Sweetie Belle.”
“No idea.” Hundred-and-Fifty shrugged. “Hey! It seems I got a boyfriend!”
“You don’t even know his name,” Fifty-Three said.
“Who cares.” Scootaloo 150 spun in place, looking at her flank. “Featherweight’s birthday is tomorrow, remember?”
“You’re insane.” Fifty-Three shook her head. “We need to check if the rest also mistakes us for Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom. Maybe those two were just dumb.”
Hundred-and-Fifty shook her head. “Always with science…”
A few hours of intensive research later, Scootaloo 053 and Scootaloo 150 came to the same conclusion as every villain who’d ever tried to conquer Equestria.
Ponies in Ponyville could be really dumb, sometimes.
Most of the ponies they’d encountered didn’t see anything strange in two Scootaloos running around the town. The majority of them automatically assumed that any pony in Scootaloo’s immediate vicinity was either Apple Bloom or Sweetie Belle. Some of them simply didn’t notice the other Scootaloo. And, above all, none of those ponies asked them about Rainbow Dash trivia.
“I get the feeling Zero doesn’t hang out with ponies other than her friends much,” Fifty-Three muttered, dropping on a bench.
“Better for us,” Hundred-and-Fifty said, sitting next to her. “Though we’re still running out of time. We need to check what’s the deal with that crystal tree in the middle of the town, what’s in this big building with ‘Coconut Cream is a cutie pie’ written on the wall… Then we have to find Twenty-One and pilgrimage to Rainbow Dash’s house…”
“Let’s split up,” Fifty-Three replied. “I’ll get the crystal tree and you’ll check out that building. Then we meet at this place where Twenty-One went.”
“Okay.” Hundred-and-Fifty stood up and trotted across the street. The building she was heading to was big, with simple rectangular walls. But despite that, a lot of ponies kept walking there only to leave after some time, carrying full bags.
Hundred-and-Fifty squinted, trying to read the sign above the door. “Barnyard Bargains,” she muttered – just like in the case of most of the clones, the ability to read without moving her lips wasn’t bestowed upon her. She rushed forward, curious what all those ponies were doing there, when suddenly, someone tackled her.
“Oh no, they got me!” she shouted. “Fifty-Three! Help!”
“Fifty-three?” the pony who tackled her asked. “You can count to that much?”
Hundred-and Fifty turned around to see a cutie mark that looked like a pair of scissors pretending to be an apple. Or maybe it was an apple that looked like scissors; it was hard to tell. She blinked and took a closer look at the cutie mark’s owner – a large, brown filly with freckles and cherry-coloured mane.
“Found ya at last!” the filly exclaimed, embracing Scootaloo 150, who looked around searching for help. Part of her wanted to ask who the filly was, but she felt that’d immediately blow her cover.
“What’s going on with ya?” the filly asked. “First ya ask me for a makeover and then ya disappear somewhere in the farm with Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle for days! Does anypony remember I’m still here?”
“Umm… Of course I remember about you, umm…” Hundred-and-Fifty made a sheepish grin, freeing herself from the filly’s grasp. “What’s your name?”
The filly laughed, patting Hundred-and-Fifty’s back. “What’s my name? Good one. Anyway, I got something special for you…” She smirked and grabbed Hundred-and-Fifty, dragging her down the pavement.
The crystal tree, much to Fifty-Three’s surprise, turned out to be a building. She trotted to the door and gently pushed it, finding out that it was open. She looked around to check if no one was watching her and trotted inside, her hooves slipping on the mirror-like floor.
The hall she found herself in was much bigger than their barns; Fifty-Three could swear the whole tree was bigger on the inside. It was also much more interesting than the place Fifty-Three called home. The walls were shining and the tall windows made the whole place brightly lit. Several shelves with stacks of books stood by one of the walls.
“Hi, Scootaloo!”
Fifty-Three looked at the pinkish mare with purple mane who trotted down the stairs to her. “Hello,” she muttered.
“Twilight is currently in Canterlot with Starswirl the Bearded, but she told me to remind you about all those Daring Do novels you borrowed and never gave back,” the mare said. “Where are you and your friends anyway?” she asked. “It’s like you three disappeared from town.”
“We’re, umm… busy with, like… Cutie mark stuff,” Scootaloo 053 replied.
“Ah, of course,” the mare said, smiling. “All those ponies who have trouble with their cutie marks. I sometimes wonder what they were doing before you appeared.” She shrugged. “Want some cocoa before you go back to that ‘cutie mark stuff’?”
“Sure, why not,” Scootaloo 053 replied.
They walked to one of the rooms in the castle. This one was also all crystal and shiny, but with more of a personal touch. There were several kites hanging from the ceiling, some blue teacups standing on one of the shelves, as well as a glass case full of bottles with strange elixirs. The desk was littered with books and a diary belonging to somepony called Starlight Glimmer.
“So, how are the cutie mark activities going?” the mare whose name was Starlight Glimmer (unless she had a habit of stealing other ponies’ diaries) asked. “I’ve seen quite a large group at your meeting. Even changelings, if I recall correctly.”
“Yeah, quite a large group.” Scootaloo 053 sipped her cocoa and thinking quickly. “I’ve been wondering… Some, umm… pony from our group discovered that pond in the forest…”
“What pond?” Starlight asked. “The one where Maud lives?”
“Maybe,” Fifty-Three muttered. “If you throw something in it, you get two of those things back.”
“Don’t go there!” Starlight exclaimed. “Tell your students to stay away.”
“Why?”
“You don’t remember what happened when Pinkie used it?” Starlight asked. “Well, I wasn’t here either, but knowing Pinkie…”
Scootaloo 053 shrugged. “Dunno. Maybe I was away or something. What happened?”
Starlight levitated her cup of cocoa. “It’s not a story Twilight would tell you…”