Well, what else can I say? I wandered into Ponyville, expecting a warm welcome; instead, I was shunned by everypony, knocked-out by Twilight, twice, now the whole town, including the mane-six, hates me because I’m a demon apparently, and here I am, trudging through the Everfree forest, bond by chains, surrounded by Royal guards, being forced to go to Tartarus; all because of how I look. I guess it was natural of the ponies to be afraid of me in the first place, and then they found out that I’m a demon, and hated me altogether. The princess DID order these guard to send me back to Tartarus, so they probably put 2 and 2 together, and after that incident with Cerberus going on a rampage, I doubt the Ponyvillians (or ANY Equestrians for that matter) would be thinking highly of this place.
Heh heh, get it? Not thinking highly of- and Tartarus is……………… nevermind.
I especially feel horrible what I brought onto Derpy. They all must think that hypnotized her, or something. I can even picture Twilight running test after test on her.
We’d been walking for a few hours; we didn’t really talk at all. To be frank, the effect of walking through the woods for several hours has a similar effect as sitting in a car for the same amount of time.
‘I’m soooooooooooo boooooooooooooooooooooored.’
Beyond that, I was heading for what seemed to be my inevitable doom. With this realization, I knew that the time I had between here and Tartarus was short. So, I decided to have some fun with these assholes while I still had the chance.
“Hey!”
“…………….”
“Hey gaise!”
“…………….”
“Gaise?”
“……………………”
“GAISE!”
“Drrrrrr! WHAT!?”
“Gaise, do you think pigeons have feelings?”
The guards just looked at me, with unanimous expressions of: WHAT THE BUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS GUY?! They all turned back, not entirely sure what to think of my outlandish question. They had NO IDEA what was coming.
“…………Sometimes…………. I DREAM about cheese.”
“Sometimes I like to curl up in a ball and pretend I’m a hush-puppy.”
“Gaise, what if all the air in the world turned into wood?”
“Wise Confucius say: Stallion who wish to nail a mare must first learn to hammer.”
“Sometimes my farts smell like peanut butter.”
“Hey gaise, sometimes when I’m alone, I like to strip naked and rub vas-”
“Shut up!”
“Aaaaaw, wai?”
I gave them a few minutes to cool down, and then I let them have it. Abruptly I stopped; just stopped in the middle of the road and began to stare off into the distance with a dull expression.
“What are you doing?! MOVE!”
With that, I went limp as a ragdoll and fell over. For a moment, the guards just gawked at me, then, one of them walked up to my head. He began to poke me with his hoof.
“Um, HELLO?!”
I whipped my head toward him, a very perky expression on my face.
“OH herro prease!” I said, adopting a stereotypical Asian accent.
“What in Equestria are you doing?”
“I’m using non-violent resistance.”
‘India, 1930 BITCHES!’
Expecting to have stumped them, I giggled to myself. This however was put to an end as one of the unicorn guards effortlessly lifted me off the ground with his magic. Man, if the brits had magic back in the day, Ghandi’s methods would have been deemed useless.
“CURSES, FOILED AGAIN!”
I guess that one failed, but I have PLENTY of more material.
“Are we there yet?”
“No.”
““Are we there yet?”
“No.”
“Are we there yet?”
“No.”
“Are we there yet?”
“NO!”
(……………………………….)
“How about now?”
“NO!”
“Ok, now?”
“NO!”
“………………………… Now?”
“Yes.”
“Wait ,what?”
“We’re here.”
I looked up (I was still being carried by the unicorn’s magic) and saw a large cave entrance on the wall of a cliff. Well damn, seems the fun is already over; now, I was being dragged toward the gaping maw of Tartarus. Great, what a way to spend the rest of my days, burning-up in Tartarus, instead of frolicking in the fields with twi-
‘Dude, GET OVER YOURSELF. She isn’t interested, MOVE. ON.’
‘NEVAH! I will NOT lose faith!’
‘You’re hopeless.’
Well, I guess there’s no stopping what’s already happening, so, best come to peace with it.
We approached the mouth of the cave, whilst one of the unicorn guards lit his horn. As we came closer, the guards began stiffening, as if the air had become denser. There was something wrong with that cave; I could feel it myself as we approached.
Suddenly, an ominous surge of wind blew past us; only, it wasn’t wind. There was no way that the sensation I was feeling was wind. Its movement patterns were strange, irregular. It almost felt………alive. The guards felt it too, staggering backward and muttering amongst themselves
“Did you feel that?”
“So I haven’t gone crazy.”
“Is it me or did it feel like it was trying to push us away?”
However, it felt strangely different for me. It felt as if the current of ‘air’ was brushing past me, as if taking care not to show force. And yet, it had felt as if it was gently patting me down, testing my form, getting more familiar with me.
Then, the guards jumped, causing the unicorn holding me’s magic to fail, dropping me.
“OW! FAK!”
“PLEASE TELL ME YOU HEARD THAT!”
“C-C-CLEAR AS DAY!”
“LEAVE, that’s what you heard, right!?”
I heard it next, but instead of what they heard, what I got was a faint whisper.
“Welcome home... my liege.”
What the hell?
At this point, the lower ranking guards were all panicking.
“L-lieutenant, we’ve brought him to the entrance, c-couldn’t we just leave him here?!” one of them suggested, his voice trembling. The lieutenant scowled at him; he hastily approached the lesser guard, pulling him off to the side, where he thought I couldn’t hear him and began whispering to him in an angered tone.
“This is only the entrance to the cave! The Princess specifically ordered for us to bring the beast to the GATES! We need to bring him there and watch him enter!”
“W-why?”
“Princess Celestia has attempted to enter on several occasions, but has been completely unsuccessful. We need to see for ourselves how he opens the gate.”
“Uh, gaise? I can hear you, you know.”
The lieutenant whipped his head toward me, looking shocked and slightly annoyed. He shook his head.
“Just bring him to the bloody gate!”
With that, I was once again picked up by the unicorn’s magic, as the guards marched into the cave. The other unicorns lit up their horns.
The cave’s initial appearance was generic, to say the least. Stalagmites littered here and there, crude walls and ceiling, what you’d expect. However, after a few minutes of walking, the cave changed.
The walls, ceiling and floor were neatly carved into flat surfaces. Strange carvings of creatures lined the walls, as well as symbols, and some kind of writing I didn’t recognize, trailing along the tops of the carvings. The air also grew thicker and thicker as we advanced through the eerie corridor. The guards were really wigging out now. It was moments like these I just had to take advantage of. I started to whistle a creepy tune.
Almost instantly, the lesser guards started to lose their minds.
“STOP IT!”
I kept whistling.
“STOP IT!”
Fat chance buddy; I kept whistling.
“STOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPIT!!!!!!!!!”
“Quiet, all of you! You can relax, we're here.” The lieutenant yelled.
“What what what?” I really need to pay attention more. Looking up, I saw them, the gates. They were around 20 feet high, covered in carvings similar to the ones on the walls. At both sides, were large torches, lit with large, bright flames. in the center of the door, were two round holes. Well, I guess this is it.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH
The strangest sound rang out in the chamber, like someone was moaning in pain. Needless to say the guards freaked.
“WHAT WAS THAT?!”
“BEAST, STOP THIS CONJURY AT ONCE!” The lieutenant screamed, directing his command to me.
“OK, ONE: I HAVE A NAME, TWO: I’M NOT DOING THIS!” I retorted, as the moaning grew louder and louder.
Then, from out of the walls, appeared several, glowing, ghost-like entities. They had the shape of a man, although from the waist down they were snake like. They were clothed in ragged, hooded robes. As they exited the walls, they hung their heads and arms. Suddenly, they all whipped their heads up, looking at us with piercing white eyes. Their faces were decayed, their cheeks sunken-in and their jaws missing. They all let out began making a poignant sound, like they were desperately gasping for breath. They opened their arms, and advanced on us.
Screaming, the guards began firing beams from their horns (once again resulting in me being dropped, which hurt twice as much on the stone floor) at the strange apparitions. But it was no use; the beams passed right through the entities. They darted forward, reaching for the guard’s chests, ignoring me. Horrified expressions came across the guards faces as the apparitions hands passed right through their armor. All light seemed to leave their eyes, as they collapsed to the floor. Suddenly my chains turned to dust as the last one hit the floor; leading me to believe that those chains were some kind of spell. As I sat up and looked at the guard’s blank and lifeless expressions as they lay still on the floor, I thought:
‘DAAAAAAAAAAAYUM! BITCHES GOT SOUL-HOOKED!’
With the precious orbs now cradled in their hands, the apparitions turned around, and drifted back into the walls.
I stumbled to my feet. I was a free bird………er, demon. In my happiness, I did a victory dance…… that is until I realized the guards were now dead, which was a real downer. Plus, the princess was likely going to think that I was the one who killed them.
“AW, FUCK MY ASS!”
Suddenly, at the corner of my eye, I could see a bright light. I turned my head and saw that the door was glowing. The lights came from the outlines in the carvings, which gave them the illusion of movement. I felt my hands jolt forward, and, as if possessed, they began to drag me forward, my slidey hooves giving no resistance. As I was being pulled toward it, I saw the holes lighting up brighter than the other parts of the door. then, I noticed the symbols above them, a hexagram, and a horned animal skull.
"What the-"
my hands entered the slots. Moments afterward, the light intensified, and my vision went completely white, and I lost all feeling in my body.
"This passing-out thing is going to be a running gag, isn't it?"
That was the last thing to pass through my mind as I slipped into unconsciousness.
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Epic chapter coming up.