Our newly found companion mumbled to himself seeming never to stop for breath. "Has anything strange happened in your world recently?" He asked us.
"You mind coming down from there?" Rainbow called out to him.
"Yeah why are you doing that?" Spike also asked, along with many of the other ponies.
"Helps me think, you would be surprised what you can come up with when you're upside down, now can you answer the question?"
"Just come down already, it's going to be a lot easier than yelling all the while!" Twilight said.
"And how did you get up there anyway?" I asked him.
"What, have you never hung from a balcony before?" That's right…For some reason a living part of my mind can think better…When hanging upside down from a second story balcony…I don't even…
"Actually no, so come down already!"
With a heavy sigh he released his legs which were wrapped around a railing on the edge of the corroded balcony. Everypony except for Rainbow let out a gasp as he plummeted toward the cobblestone below. With almost no effort at all he casual flipped in the air and landed perfectly on his feet. A quick glance at Pinkie showed she was holding up a sign with '9.5' written on it, God knows where she got that from.
"I liked it better up there, now answer the question. Has anything weird happened these last couple of days?"
It was obvious he was growing impatient of everypony avoiding the question. Yet a suspicion bubbled in the back of my head as I began to doubt his existence even more so than before. Earlier I could have just dismissed it as magic or insanity but now that everypony could see him, he seemed less real and mysterious than before.
"Are you sure you're a part of me? You look human but you're not acting like one, who hangs from a balcony to help them think!"
"I do!"
"Also why the pirate outfit?"
"We didn't get to pick our outfits okay! Now just answer the question already!"
"Well there's you for a start, then Michael, then Pinkie-"Spike began, quickly got cut off.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah skip ahead all of that is normal. I'm talking really weird, something that just happened for no reason! Things that are impossible even by your universe!"
"…You mean like Pinkie?"
"No not like Pinkie! Any big bright lights or-or freak weather, anything like that?"
"Nope, I would've seen it" Rainbow said.
"Wait…" There was a silence as he just seemed to stare off into space, mouth slightly open, and hand suspended in the air. "…You fell off a cloud am I right?"
"Uh…Yeah I did and-"
"Okay that's good, and where did you wake up, the very first time in this world?"
"Wait good, how is that good, I was in hospital for-"
"Just answer the questions because we are running out of time!"
"Running out of-"
"MICHAEL! ANSWER THE QUESTION!" His loud voice echoed off the mossy walls of this ancient place.
"APPLEJACKS FARM!" I bellowed back at him.
"Okay we need to get back there now." He strode past us to the castle entrance.
"Why? What's got you so jumpy?" Twilight asked the new comer.
"Just trust me on this," he quickly turned on a heel to face us "so how did we get here?"
"Trust you? We don't even know you're name!" Rainbow pointed out.
"But that's not impor-…Fine! Michael give me a name!"
"What me? You don't have a name?"
"Of course not, nobody names their emotions that would be stupid; therefor it was a stupid question to ask me for a name. Now let's get back to ponyville."
He showed no signs of stopping as he took long, fast steps through the halls of the forgotten ruins. When we caught up to him Applejack asked:
"What's so 'mportant 'bout mah farm?"
"We could all be in serious danger if we don't get back there."
"Why?" I asked. "Nothing weird has ever happened there before."
"Think about it Michael. Every time Twilight used magic on you, something strange happened. You would be paralysed or stiffen up or even start speaking Spanish! Every time magic touched you the effects got worse and worse."
"So…That's just because humans were never meant to handle magic right?"
"Right, the more magic touched you the more of an effect it had because of the shock of suddenly being introduced to magic."
"Is this going anywhere?"
"When you came into this world you passed through the gap between universes and the split second you crossed into theirs you got blasted with every element that's unique to this universe including, masses and masses of magic. More powerful than princess Celestia, Luna, and the elements combined."
He spotted the sheer confusion in many of the ponies' faces, not having the faintest idea what he was talking about. And neither did I really, so he turned and stared at us with a grim face, the pure look of seriousness.
"So if a tiny teleport spell could screw you up…" A draft drawn in my mind, I quickly overlooked the facts and suddenly understood.
"Then imagine what all that magic in the void did to you…" Our faces became reflections of his, grim realisation. "And for the universe…"
We all kept up a quick walking pace as we strode from the castle and into the forest once more. Our new additions' eyes seemed vacant and empty, yet at the same time they were full of vibrant life and genius. He didn't speak for a whole hour as we walked through the forest and began our long trip back, even being hammered with questions from everyone in the group.
"Okay done…I wasn't really listening to any of that so you have to repeat your questions." Everyone was relieved that he would finally acknowledge our existence once more, as we had millions of questions attempting to claw their way out.
"Who are you?"
"Why do you have a sword?"
"Where'd you come from?"
"Do you like cupcakes!"
"How do you know all this?"
"Um…"
"Do you like parties?"
"I should've known there would be so many questions" he thought aloud with a sigh. "I told you before that I'm a part of Michaels mind brought to life when we came into Equestria, that's why only you could see me Michael, I was only linked to you. But Luna's magic brought me into a physical form."
"So what up with the sword?" Rainbow pointed out.
"We didn't choose our outfits really; I guess I was just lucky that I got a sword. Some other parts of your mind got things too Michael. That blue haired one got a flute, and I think someone had a blue box…"
"But how could you know all of this?" Twilight questioned.
"Well when we fell through the void and I came to life, I got a sudden flash of knowledge of magic and a general overview of how it works. Also I've retained thirteen years of experience and memory working in Michael's mind, so I've gotten to know my way round that too…That reminds me."
He reached out and grabbed Twilights horn. "Hey!" The purple unicorn objected. A purple glow formed around his hand and grew brighter before dropping away altogether and he pulled back. "What did you just do?" Twilight asked, trying to look up at her horn.
"Magic sample, my body can store it in a sort of data-base and once I've gotten used to it for a bit, I can use magic just like you. I'll get some of your spells as well, ones that have been mastered like teleportation, levitation, and all the others."
"That is…Unsettling…" Luna said, taking a slight step back from him.
"Yeah that's just creepy." Spike said.
With a shrug he defended; "that's the way magic works, for me at least."
It quickly got boring of looking upon nothing but bush and trees all the while, at least on the way here Pinkie would be singing, Luna would be questioning me, or we would just be all around talking. But the air seemed to turn to lead as the scenario was weighed down by seriousness, the tense silence given off by this new comer's very presence.
"I wonder what kind of sword that is…" I thought as I eyes the black blade shrouded in mystery.
"You tell me, you created it after all." He replied, somehow he was able to hear my thoughts. He pulled the blade from its sheath and handed it to me.
It was styled like a pirate cutlass with the hand guard and slightly curved blade. It felt strong and sturdy yet at the same time it felt like I wasn't holding anything at all. The blade was gleaming black like midnight, with the tip showing the slightest shade of grey to it. The hand guard was also black but was complemented by a single red circle on it, almost appearing as an eye. The grip on the other hoof had a magnificent silver strap surrounding it that stood out from the midnight black.
"I'm guessing you have no idea?" He asked me, I had forgotten the question entirely as I inspected the blade.
"Uh…No, can't tell what It's made of sorry."
"I could give it a try" Rarity spoke up. "As a dressmaker I have a keen eye for detail." With a shrug we handed it over to Rarity who instantly eyed the blade. But when she tried to use any kind of magic on it, it had no effect. "That's strange; magic doesn't seem to have any effect on it."
"Hmm…" He brought the blade back up to his eye and stared into it. "Maybe someone in Canterlot knows more about this."
"My subjects have not met either of you have they?" Luna asked the both of us.
"No" I started, "Twilight pre booked the room and we arrived at night, so everypony was asleep."
"You arrived at night you say?" The pirate and I nodded in unison. "I was wondering what you all were doing there, I guess you must have been the strange shape I saw in the shadows." She quickly explained afterwards.
"When I was performing my nightly duties on my balcony, high above Canterlot, I spotted all you little ponies walking through the streets. Naturally I wondered why you were all arriving so late but then something else caught my eye, a shadow that moved in between the buildings and disappeared whenever I came to look upon it."
"Yep, that was probably us." The pirate explained.
By the late afternoon we all stopped for a rest as hours of straight walking through repetitive surroundings left us both bored and exhausted. Pinkie remained as ecstatic as always though with enough energy to run a marathon, twice. Rainbow and Applejack however were the opposites as Rainbow lazily snoozed on a tree branch and Applejack, under a tree with her hat covering her face.
"So is that sword even real?" Spike asked our new addition.
"Well let's see" he got up and made his way over to a nearby tree. Everypony looked up or over to witness the event. With one fluid motion he slid the mysterious blade from its sheath, raised it to the sky, flicked it over and swung down at the wooden appendage with amazing speed. The blade cut like a hot knife through butter showing almost no resistance at all.
"Okay, now I really want to know what it's made of." He said with a grin spreading across his face.
Luna levitated the sliced branch over to her as she began to inspect it. "A clean cut…" She said in disbelief. "That truly is a remarkable blade."
"Wait…Did anyone else just feel that?" He asked nopony in particular. We all shook our heads. "It's like…Something just changed in the air, like the whole world changed somehow…" He started to pace back and forth. "But what, what's changed?"
"Uh…" I heard somepony whisper.
"I know there's something wrong, but everything looks normal so what could it be?"
"Excuse me…"
Did anyone see anything?" He said, stopping and turning towards us.
"I-I do…" I made out the voice to be Fluttershys'.
"Well come on then, don't waste time!"
"W-well…You might want to um…Look behind you…" Everypony and I leaned to see over his shoulder and saw the freshly cut branch floating behind him, wrapped in an orange glow.
He turned and quickly turned back "what, it's just someone using some magic."
"Yes but…None of us are doing it…"
He turned once more and saw the orange glow this time "okay so we know that the glow is unique to the pony's magical signature. So who could have an orange one then…"
"Take a guess." I said, pointing out his orange trench coat he was wearing.
"Oh…Oh good I can use magic now!" The branch suddenly dropped from his magical grasp. "Going to need some practice though…"
"Maybe when you can actually use it, we can see if your magic has any effect in that sword of yours." Twilight said.
"Hey I can use it! Just…Not very well…"
"You call that using magic? I've seen fillies do better." Twilight mocked.
"You really want to piss of the guy with the sword?"
"That depends; do you think you can take on all of us?" Twilight had a smug look over her face; I knew she had an ace up her sleeve ready to be chucked into the whole.
"Tongue turning to silver Twilight? It's not like you to be so smug and underhanded…I think we've rubbed off on her Michael!"
The following hours of walking were more interesting than the bleak ones before. Twilight was attempting to teach the pirate how to control his magic; Luna took no part in it however as she thought that stealing ones magic was un-natural. The atmosphere also lightened as everypony began to talk and share stories once more; it became a pleasant experience to walk with these ponies.
"Wow, you're so tall, is this what you always see?" Pinkie said. Pinkie was riding upon my shoulders because of a surprise glomp attack then climbed up onto my shoulders. I couldn't blame her for being curious, but she was much heavier than Rainbow was, most likely because of all the sweets she ate.
"Pinkie I think you need to lay off the cakes for a while." I chuckled when I noticed how heavy she was on my back.
"But where's the fun in that? You're never too old for candy and cake!"
"Yeah well you're a bit heavy, if you keep that up you'll probably get diabetes."
"What's diabetes? You mean like diet beeties? Because beeties sounds like another candy."
"Whatever you say Pinkie" despite her being a bit heavy, I still let her ride on my back for a while; I bet it was weird to be as high up as a human all the time.
You just can't help but feel happy around Pinkie; her very presence lifts the mood of any place drastically. To say she was an anti-depressant would be an understatement. When ponies say that she's the spirit of laughter, they meant it!
"We should stop for the night." Luna stated, the pirate and I both dropped to our knees in exhaustion.
"Told you we weren't made for walking," I managed to get out in between large gasps of air. "Or for eating pony food…"
"Is this what's it's like being real…You get tired so easily!"
"Sheesh, how are you lightweights tired already?" Rainbow asked us as Twilight lifted us to our feet with some magic.
"No meat."
"No energy."
"Having an optimistic, heavy pink pony on my back."
"Trying to learn magic for the first time."
"Just came out of being a werewolf."
"Just came out of a magical void."
"Hiking all day."
"Trying to figure out a universal problem in my head."
"Okay, okay stop it! I didn't ask for your life story or anything."
"Right, now stop rambling on and help us set up." Twilight said in an ordering tone.
"I guess I'll get some firewood." The pirate said, walking off towards a tree.
"I can help Fluttershy pitch the tents."
"A-are you sure he's safe?" Asked Fluttershy as we hammered the spikes into the earth.
"Well let's review the facts: He has a magical sword; he acts about as strange as Pinkie does, a bit stuck up, emotionally tortured me, understands the universe in depth, and can now use magic…Nah he has to be safe."
"But Michael…We don't have enough tents for all of us…"
"Done!" he called out, we all looked over to see a huge pile of cut wood where a tree had previously been. "I can't believe it's not butter!"
"That joke is terrible!" Rainbow called out.
"So what are we going to do?" Fluttershy asked, turning back to me.
"I don't know" I sighed. "Maybe Luna knows how to magic up a tent or something…" I glanced over to see Pinkie laughing hysterically as she was levitated by him with a faint orange glow. "Pinkie likes him, that's a good sign that he's not evil at least." A though of Pinkie as a unicorn made its way into my head, then the aftermath of Pinkie with magic…It didn't end well.
"Yes but Pinkie likes everypony."
"Yeah I guess you're right."
We finished pitching the tents with little talk; both of us were suddenly a lot more suspicious about this pirate. He had no name, no backstory, had a sword that can slice a tree like butter, and his only explanation was that he was a part of my mind come to life…Natural 1 on bluff check…
"So there's a bit of bad news…" I started, not really sure how to tell him.
"Not enough tents, I know."
"How did-"
"We've been over this, everything you remember I do too."
"So…yeah not really sure what to do 'bout the tents, do you think Luna would be able to make one?"
"Make a tent out of nowhere? No thanks, I've got it figured out."
"Really?" I switched to a confused voice.
"Did you think I was just paying with Pinkie over here? At first I wasn't worried, and then I remembered I was real now so I had to sleep and keep warm. I was going through your memories trying to find any useful information; I found the memories about clouds and figured that I could probably make a tent out of that."
"Wouldn't they be freezing? All clouds are is just water and air, and on a night like this at that altitude they're probably ice by now."
"Well Rainbow sleeps in them sometimes, they can't be that cold." He said, shrugging off the question.
While the rest of us set up the campsite, he just sat there playing with Pinkie using his newly found magical skill. As the others sat around talking and playing I wandered over to a napping Rainbow Dash in a tree.
"Hey Rainbow, are clouds any good at keeping in heat?"
"Wha- who- Oh hey Michael, you say something?"
"Yeah, do clouds keep in heat or not?"
"Well duh! We make our houses out of 'em…Why, you want your own place in Cloudsdale now?"
"Hey Michael I got it!" A voice called out, I turned and saw a cloud covered pirate standing next to a makeshift cloud tent.
"Wow, that guy sucks at building with clouds. Hate to break it to ya but only Pegasi can sleep on clouds!" She called back to him.
"Oh yeah, I have a plan for that too." He walked over and swung the blade at the branch Rainbow was lying on, Rainbow slammed into the earth with a heavy thud.
He reached own and with an orange glow enveloping his hand, lightly rested his hand on her head. "There we go, give me half an hour and I'll be able to natural walk on clouds!" He said with a certain glee in his voice.
"That's creepy how you can do that." Rainbow said, picking herself up.
"And if you're such a genius on magical quantum physics or whatever, how does that blade slice through wood so easily?" I asked him.
"A whole lot of wibly wobbly, timey wimey stuff that happened. Bottom line is that stuff got screwed up all because you can't handle magic. Don't bother asking again because that is all I know."
Once the sun was set we started another fire as half our journey was completed, Luna shot a small ball of bright fire into the tinder of the fireplace and soon it was a huge, roaring blaze.
"Aaarrgh! Dammit!" A voice cried out.
"What now?" I asked, knowing who it was by now.
"That's right; I'm real now…Fire is hot…"
"Are you kidding me? You can get into my memories, understand magic in depth, and have all the common knowledge of a normal human…And you didn't know that fire was hot?"
"Yeah, well…Shut up."
This went on for a while throughout the campfire session, somehow he would just forget he was real and end up hurting himself somehow. Burning himself, walking into trees, stepping on a bit of thunder cloud. But I guess because he never even was real, it would be easy to forget…Maybe, how do you forget being real?
"We should head off to bed now, if we wish to reach Canterlot by noon." Said Luna, getting up to extinguish the fire.
"So am I still sharing a tent with Rainbow?"
"Yes, why?" Twilight asked.
I glanced over to see Rainbow struggling to stand up, still holding a half filled bottle of alcohol. "Well because of the pirate and everything is all, but yeah let's head off to bed" I lied to her. I knew I couldn't tell twilight, or any of the others about what had happened that night, it still quietly lingers in the back of my mind whenever I see Rainbow's face, every time.
Making an attempt to take my mind off that haunting night, I walked over to the pirate who still hadn't bothered to think up a name for himself.
"So are you sure you'll be warm in there?" I asked him, as he wandered over to his homemade tent.
"I should be, I can walk on clouds like a Pegasus now, and don't ask how because I don't know."
"What about a name, why haven't you bothered to think up a name for yourself yet? It's starting to get annoying just saying 'that pirate over there' all the time."
"Well then you think me up a name, I came from your mind after all so it's only fitting."
"You can't think for yourself?"
"Okay fine, I'll try to make one up when I get the time."
"You've got the time right now!"
"Hey I've got things to do, and I need to make sure those things happen or else…"
"Or else what, are we going to be stuck with two Pinkies' on our hooves- I mean hands. What's so important that no one else can know about?"
"You should go to bed already, stop asking questions all the time." And with that he crawled inside his cloud tent and closed the flap, the two pieces of cloud becoming one solid slab.
"Well how did you even get these clouds?"
He stuck his head through the clouds and said "turns out a levitation spell plus a cloud walking spell equals being able to pull in clouds using magic." Then he sunk back into the cloud tent.
Turned back and saw Rainbow tripping over her own hooves trying to get to our tent. "This is going to be one really weird night tonight" I thought.
I crawled into the small pony tent as she tumbled around outside, after everything that has happened between me and her, I still wasn't comfortable looking directly at Rainbow; whenever I saw her magenta eyes I remembered all the grief and pain I caused her. And after what happened last time Rainbow got drunk I hoped she would be too tired to try something again…The very thought of it send a shudder down my spine.
I wrapped a blanket around myself and tried get some sleep, yet only a yet seconds after Rainbow found her way in and collapsed on top of me and started to snore.
"Well this is awkward…" I get enough of Dash during the day in this place, and half the time it's half joke half insults and me. So I didn't want to see what a hung over, rudely awakened Rainbow would be like, hell she would probably wake up ponies on the other side of the globe!
But I wasn't going to have a pony sleeping on top of me so I gently rolled her off myself and onto the floor of the tent, then wrapped her in her Wonderbolts' blanket and laid back down. It was strange how a Pegasus was sleeping next to a human in a normal tent, while a…Sort-of-human slept in a cloud tent a few feet away.
We both awoke at nearly the same time, only a minute or two of a difference. "Michael…What happened last night?" Rainbow groaned, rubbing her head with that morning look on her face.
"Well you…Sort of got drunk…Again. What is it with you and getting drunk in this story?"
"Drunk?" Her eyes widened a bit with a look of alarm in them, before she quickly hid it. "So…What happened after that? Please don't tell me the same thing happened last time I got drunk with you."
"Last time…You remember that! But I thought you couldn't remember anything with a hangover."
"'Course I remember it, I just hope that didn't happen again." She glanced down at the floor, avoiding my eyes.
"Well luckily no it didn't, but after today we won't be sleeping in a tent again, so you don't have to worry 'bout that anymore!"
"So…How old are you anyway? You talk like you've never had a hangover."
"Thirteen so, no I haven't."
"Oh…wow okay then…"
"Why how old are you then?"
"Twenty, but how can you only be thirteen and be that big?"
"How can ponies live to be eighteen?" Actually I didn't have a clue how long ponies lived at all, but I'm guessing they shouldn't be alive at eighteen; either that or they would be very old.
"So you went out drinking with me when you're not even eighteen yet?"
"The drinking age is 21 isn't it?"
"Yeah but at least you can look twenty one when you're eighteen. How did you not get drunk? You had four rounds!"
"Humans have stronger livers than ponies, your strongest drink would probably only match up to a normal beer in our world." Once again my poor knowledge of equine biology let me down, I had no idea how much drink a pony could handle, especially not a Pegasus or a unicorn.
As I was bombarded with questions about my age and the drinking and the other things I had done, I started to piece together a puzzle in my mind. This placed seemed all too familiar to be some far off planet in the sky.
I literally jumped out of bed and ran out of the tent "hey, where're you going?" Rainbow called out behind me, luckily Twilight was already up and cleaning up the campsite.
"Twilight!" She flinched and lost concentration, causing a pile of un-used firewood to clatter to the ground. "Do you have a star map in there?" I pointed to her saddle bags she was already wearing.
"Yes I do but why would you need a world map in the morning?"
"There's something I need to check, please this is important." So she quickly handed me a world map of Equestria using her magic. I unrolled it and quickly scanned over it. And I was right…
Every single country was here on this map. America, Canada, Spain, Japan, China, Sweden, Germany, Russia, Hawaii, the list goes on…All but New Zealand, that small little island that nobody noticed. Turns out history was changed because Australia was on the map but no sign of NZ. By now they should have spotted it, or this was an outdated map which I highly doubted, with Twilight being such a perfectionist.
"This isn't another planet at all…This was earth!" I thought out loud to myself.
"What, your planet? That's impossible!" Objected Twilight.
"Look at this Twilight, your map has every single country that earth has, with the same shape and the same location of cities. But something's wrong, there should be-"I was suddenly bowled over by a blur with an accompanying 'NOO!'
I looked and saw that the pirate had tackled me to the ground, Sunny Bill Williams style. "You can't tell her, you can't change history!" He whispered to me.
"History has already been changed enough, they should have found-"a hand was shoved over my mouth to stop me from continuing.
"Listen, I can explain as soon as we're back in Canterlot, and if you try to tell anypony again I'll magic your mouth shut!" For a copy of me, he was pretty grim.
So with a hung over Rainbow on my shoulders, we headed back to Canterlot. "Are we there yet?" She moaned, still massaging her throbbing head.
"No not yet." Luna replied.
Later…
"Are we there yet?"
"No, we're still not there, we will arrive later."
More later…
"There yet?"
"No, we are still not there."
Much more later…
Rainbow opened her mouth to speak, but got cut off by Luna with: "We are still not there! Please stop asking!" She went back to resting her head on mine.
So much more later that the old narrator got tired of waiting, and they had to hire a new one.
"We have arrived!" Cried Luna, with a sigh of relief following by everypony else.
"Okay, let's cut it off there then." The pirate said.
"What, cut what off?" Spike asked.
"The chapter! We have a magical pirate, a hung over Rainbow Dash, Michael has been handing out piggyback rides like candy, and we're exhausted from all this walking! Not to mention Rainbow's gotten drunk at least once in a chapter for like five chapters in a row! Let's just call it a night already!"
"But it's the middle of the afternoon…"
"I think we should too girls, this one has run its course." Pinkie said.
"What are you two talking about! What chapters? We're not in a storybook, this is real life!"
"Give me that clicker!"
Wait what!
"Gah! Where did you get-"
"Give it here already! Give me the mouse! Now go…save…"
No no no no no!
"And…"
NO!
"QUIT!"
DAMMIT!