Prologue:
Talos opened his eyes to a peculiar sight.
He is standing in some sort of lounge, with blood red carpet and a series of long comfortable-looking couches that is sturdy enough to support the weight of an Astartes in armor, as Xarl and Mercutian is currently occupying the two closest ones to him, Mercutian with a book in his hand and Xarl is writing something into a piece of paper. They don’t seems to notice him standing just a few feet away and are absolutely absorbed in whatever they are doing.
“Hey Mercutian. ”Xarl asked, not taking his eyes away from the paper. “What is different from you, 5 letter, start with “x” end with “s”?”
“Stop asking me Xarl, I don’t know.” Mercutian replied, eyes still fixed on the book.
“It’s “xenos”, and can you two tell be where in the warp am I?” Talos asked , irritation evident in his voice.
Both night lords looked up to see a familiar face glaring down at them.
“Talos? Brother? You also died?” Mercutian spoke first, eyes widen in incredulity.
“How?” Xarl stood up and approached Talos.
“Blow myself up along with the Eldar bitch.” Talos replied, observing the two brother night lords in front of him. Both are still dressed in their power armor and he could see Xarl’s crested helmet mag-locked into his thigh plate. Their weapons are rested on the side of the couch. Despite the formality in their wargear, the two seems relaxed, peaceful even. If this is death than it’s not so bad.
“When Uzas and Cyrion told us you will be here soon, I thought they’ re just pulling my leg.” Xarl said. “You really are an idiot, Talos, you know that?”
“Wait, Cyrion? Uzas? They’re here too?” Talos asked, incredulous.
“Look behind you.” Mercutian pointed.
Talos turned around to see Uzas’ fist smashed into Cyrion’s jaw, knocking the night lord back. As the berserker lunged forward to follow up, Cyrion’s left leg shot forward, striking Uzas’ abdomen and pushing him back. Cyrion then leapt forth and started pummeling the other night lord.
“They’ve been at it for days. I don’t know how time flow in this place but I’m on my forty fifth crossword puzzle and they are still at it. The two idiots says they are working off negative feelings and karma. Seems like an assload of it don’t you think?” Xarl commented as he and Talos watch their two brothers beating each other to a pulp. They are quite an even match, with Uzas possessing a shorter reach but made up for it with sheer aggressiveness and fury. Cyrion, on the other hand, is more cunning in his fighting but also not as tough or tenacious as Uzas.
“You still have not answer my question, Xarl. Where the warp is this place?” Talos asked again.
“Beats the hell out of me, brother. But I’m not complaining. No Genesis wussies and no Eldar bitches here. Good enough for me.” Xarl replied and return to his couch to continue the unfinished crosswords.
The match eventually ended after several more hours, with both of them each swinging a folding chair towards the other’s face, resulting in a double knock-out. Talos have stopped watching after the first hour, when he sat down on one of the couch and observed the room itself. The place is bizzare to say the least. Talos counted Space Marine from various chapters and legion, some keeping to themselves, other mingle. He saw an Imperial Fist and an Iron Warrior beat each other up much like Uzas and Cyrion just did, while a Space Wolf is holding a drinking contest with a Dark Angel and a Thousand Son Sorcerer.
“Mr. Talos Valcoran?” A voice interrupted his thought. Talos turned around to face a young blonde woman in a business suit, with white blouse, black vest and a black skirt, holding a clipboard and pen in her hands.
“That would be me.” Talos replied, trying to hide his confusion as to how she knows his name.
“The boss will be seeing you and your squad mates now. Please follow me.” The young blonde said as she turned around and walked towards a tall, white door at the end of the lounge that Talos could have sworn did not exist five minutes ago. He reluctantly fell into steps behind her as the rest of First Claw followed him, with Xarl and Mercutian hefting the two still unconscious Night Lords.
As First Claw walked through the white door, they found themselves in some form of conference room, with a long oval table and comfortable-looking chairs. The blonde girl is nowhere to be seen and they are alone in the room.
“I think we should sit down.” Mercutian said, dumping Uzas in a chair before sitting next to him. Xarl did the same thing with Cyrion. Talos, still unsure what is happening, stood and started looking around the room.
Suddenly, a voice boomed.
“SIT DOWN!”
Talos grabbed the nearest chair and sat down, his ears still ringing from the sudden loud command. A figure appeared in a blinding flash at the end of the table. As First Claw’s eyesight began to return, their eyes all widened and hands started to grab for weapons but found themselves unable to.
“You…” Talos stammered out. “You… you are … the Emperor.”
The newly arrived being is clad in a brilliant suit of golden armor, with winged figures and eagle motif etched into every surface of the war-plate. The face of the figure, however, is far from perfect. It gives the impression that the being just got out of a very messy bar-fight, with a black eye, a dozen of gashes on either side of his face and split lips.
“I know what you are going to say. I have no problem with that as I am dead, just like you. But be noted that Sevatar will have copyrighted that sentence so you guys will be paying him for each utterance.” The Emperor said coolly, while producing a thick stack of paper files in front of him.
Noticing the now blank look First Claw now gave him, the Emperor continues.
“I bet all of you are wondering what the hell is this place, right?” The Emperor asked as the files arranged themselves into five neat piles before flying and landing in front of each Night Lord.
“To be short and to the point. This is a temp agency for Space Marine in the afterlife.”
“Temp agency?” Asked Mercutian, confused.
“There comes a times when every space marine must die, be it ambush, careless with wargears or general honorable combat. However, if you put too much badass in the afterlife, it disturbs the balance of all of the universes, so that’s why I help out by finding jobs for dead space marines.”
“Right, I get it, wouldn’t you want to reserve your jobs for your loyalist pups ?” Xarl asked.
“Actually, before we say anything more, I would like to say sorry. About Curze, about how I and the other primarchs treated you guys back then. Being dead for several millennia can make one think back on the past mistakes. This temp agency is a way for me to make amends to the space marines that I failed to protect. I retrieved the souls of those who do not worship Chaos and fight for those that are in the Four’s grip unwillingly, just like Uzas and Cyrion here.” The Emperor gestured to his face, where First Claw can see that the black eye is throbbing.
“Wait, what?” Uzas and Cyrion yelled at the same time.
“For being dumber than a slab of beef, Khorne has a hell of a right hook. And Slaanesh needs to stop going for the groin first, it has become so predictable it’s not even funny anymore.” The golden armored god went on before stopping himself.
“I’m ranting again, aren’t I?” First Claw just nodded dumbly before Talos regained enough sense and sanity to said:
“It is all quite hard to take in…” Talos trailed off.
“And I don’t expect you to forgive me right away.” The Emperor added sadly, sighing as he touched the black eye.
“We are dead anyway and we don’t want anything to do with the Old War anymore. So I guess there is no point in trying to hate you, but the fact is you still try to screw us over back then.” Cyrion remarked.
“But if you fight the chaos gods for us... I don’t hear the voices anymore.” Uzas continued, his voice sounded much clearer than the drooling growl that First Claw was so familiar with.
“Alas, Knorne, while a horrific monster of a god, still has honor, he will not reach out to you anymore, Uzas.” The former Master of Mankind nodded.
“What about Cyrion?” Talos asked, glancing towards the Night Lord in question, the one who has more than once be the closest thing Talos has to a genuine friend.
The Emperor slightly shakes his head. “I am sorry, while I can prevent Slaanesh from reaching out and corrupting you anymore, I cannot remove whatever curse he has given you. I can only lessen it to a certain extend.” He looked at Cyrion. “You will still need the “flood”, Cyrion, but now at least you don’t have to kill people to get it. I do not want any trouble with clients after all.”
“I’ll try to cope with it.” Cyrion replied curtly.
“What’s the point of all this, then?” Xarl asked.
“In this agency, I contracted out services of deceased Space Marines, to other godly being in the multiverse, in the case they need an extra dose of badass to help their champions and chosen ones quests, or some extra fire powers in a conflict of some kinds against Chaos” The Emperor replied.
“Contract? Other gods?” Uzas asked?
“Yes, the other gods owe me favors for the use of my Marines. And I just so happen to have a request for a squad right here. You can think of this like an extended vacation. ” The Emperor beamed as a sets of files appeared in front of each members of First Claw.
After half a minutes of skimming through the documents inside. Talos raised his eyebrows.
“Equestria? Where is this place exactly?” The former Prophet asked.
“In another dimension, a world of many nation, each ruled by a god or goddess in this case.” The Emperor replied, sounding excited in spite of himself.
“Great, now we have to work under a woman” Xarl grumbled.
“According to this file…” Mercutian said, his eyes scanning the employer profile in front of him. “Our Employer, Luna, just came back from a 1000 years sabbatical to the moon and having some difficulty readjusting into mainstream society.”
“I don’t understand why my file is full of horse pictures?” Uzas asked, a look of utter confusion on his face.
“Horse pictures?” Cyrion asked. “Mine is the list of things we are provided in this endeavor.”
“My file is a geographic and demographic description of this Equestria place? Emperor, what in the warp are earth pony, pegasi and unicorns?” Talos asked, realizing now that each of them has been given a different file.
“About that, your employer will be here and explain it to you.” The Emperor said, holding his hands up in a placating gesture.
Suddenly, a bright pillar flashed into existence behind the Emperor, and out stepped a presence that send First Claw into stupefied confusion.
The figure is equine in nature, possessing a distinct female appearance, with dark blue skin and a long, flowing mane of light blue. On her back is a pair of wings made from pinions the same color as her skin and Talos is amazed to notice the single horn atop her head, with psychic energy pulsing, contained and ready to be utilized at the mare’s discretion. Around her necks and on her flanks exist a blotch of darker shade of blue decorated with the image of the moon and stars, signifying her connection to the night.
“Right, let me guess. You are Luna, Princess Luna, right?” Cyrion is the first one to regain enough sense to ask the equine in front of him. “How are you?” He added.
“Thou art right, warrior.” The princess replied, her voice booming and echoing around the chamber. “We are Luna, Moon princess of Equestria. And we art fine, gratitude to you.” She then turned to the Emperor.
“Kadmon, our friend. Art these the warriors thou mentioned?”
“Indeed Luna, they will be helping you with the night court as well as rebuilding the Equestrian Night Guards. ” The Emperor replied, before looking at the blank confusion looks First Claw was given both of the divine beings in front of them.
“I think you need to brief them about about Equestria, Luna.” The Emperor said.
“Indeed, we need to. This might take a while.”
<An undetermined amount of time and six pots of tea later>:
“So, we are going to be your advisers of a sort?” Mercutian asked, scooting back slightly to get out of Uzas’ way as the latter grabbed another cookie from across him.
“Indeed, In Equestria, the Sun court, of our sister, Celestia, deals with the day-to-day running of the kingdom concerning overt civilian issues and general provision and supporting the populace. The night court, however, deals with the clandestine aspects of governance like security and national defense. After 1000 years of our “sabbatical”, the kingdom is fortunately still at peace, however, in recent years there are disturbances along the borders of the Griffin Empire as well as the Draconic League. “
“Security? Like secret police or the Inquisition?” Talos asked.
“Something like that, although most of the times it will only involve chasing and apprehending small crimes perpetrators, Talos. Although sometimes it will involve much more serious missions, like assassinations and sabotage.” The Emperor said. “Nothing you lot are not familiar with.”
“We are to become ponies?” Mercutian asked.
“Yes, but you will retain your combat prowess and abilities, adapted to pony bodies, and it makes blending in easier. Consider that my apology gift for you all.”
“So gentlements.” Luna said, looking at them all in turn. “Shall we?”
“Brothers?” Talos asked the rest of First Claw. “What do you think?”
“Not everyone in the universe can have a second chance. I’ll take it.” Mercutian said.
“I’m getting sick of doing crosswords puzzle anyway.” Xarl added in.
“I want to try living without the voices telling me to kill.” Uzas commented.
“Sure, I guess this is better than me and Uzas beating the stuffing out of each other.” Cyrion chimed in.
“We accept, Princess Luna” Talos then turned to the dark blue pony and stood up, offering a hand out.
“Art thou certain? This will be quite a culture shock for thou.” Luna asked the five Night Lords.
“Since we are dead in our old universe, I guess we are not fighting our old Long War anymore. Doing this is better than wasting time in this limbo anyway.” Talos answered, receiving slight nods of affirmations from his Brothers.
“I guess they made their decisions, Luna. They are all yours.” The Emperor said, smiling. “And again, First Claw, I’m sorry.”
“Very well, let us go then.” Luna boomed.
And with a pillar of light, they are gone.