Letters from an Evil Empress

by zackepic22


Bonus: I was Untouchable, Your Majesty

Dear Empress Daybreaker,
 
I am writing back to you after finally managing to deal with the Capony situation. Although, actually, it took barely a few days at all.
 
After I received your most recent letter, my contacts in the city and I quickly got to work not only researching, but spying on criminal activity in the city that didn’t belong to any of my operations. We looked to the best of our ability. I had your agents do their best to interrogate Capony’s men, but, we weren’t able to turn up anything concrete, no matter how much squealing the less loyal did.
 
So, I decided we should start getting more organized, checking out some suspect warehouses. Oh, the organized agents and my people found plenty of goons, no doubt about that, but still no concrete links. Then, we checked the docks. Then the boats themselves, a few restaurants that ponies believed that Al Capony ate at frequently.
 
I was starting to lose hope. But, then, I found out that the catering company that Mosely owned was one frequently hired by Al Capony for big events. And, it was at that very moment that I heard opportunity knocking.
 
That very next night, at some big party that Capony himself was at, I chatted him up, flattered him. He was actually a fairly charming pony. A real gentlecolt. At least, to some degree. I couldn’t tell how much of it was real though. But, it didn’t really matter. He had no idea what kind of pony I really was. He probably thought I was just another high class mare. He thought wrong
 
Despite how secretive he could be, the foal actually lowered his guard. I had a couple of your agents and my boys sneak into one of his places, and, guess what they found?
 
The idiot never paid his taxes! And, so, as it turned out, the one he had reason to fear the most all along, was the IRS.
 
I’m assuming you know by the time you receive this letter that he was arrested the very next morning. And, so, our own operations remain, without any real contest. Oh, sure, his lieutenants are probably attempting to make it big themselves, but, they’re too scattered, small and disorganized. We’ll take them out easily. Manehatten is ours’ once again, my Empress. No one has a snowflake’s chance in Tartarus of ever opposing us again.
 
Cheers,
 
Mrs. Clementine Orange.