My next patient is one who at one time was considered to be the "Queen of Cuisine," Zesty Gourmand. Yep, that snobby old hag who always rated the restaurants up in Canterlot decided to come and see me. Now before I begin this I can't help but wonder why anypony would listen to her views when it comes to food. I think I'd rather eat out of a dumpster than eat from anyplace up there that has three of her hoofprints on it.
Now on to her appointment. She came in with that normal pompous look on her face. I know enough about that bitch that I'm thinking I might just do some unnecessary work! Before I took her back she showed me her insurance card and I already knew what the result would be. I have seen that customer service number enough to know it is a subsidiary of TiaCare but hey, I'm sure she'll have something I can take. Maybe if she doesn't have the money on her, I can take another horn, you never know when Ahuizotl will need one!
Once I got her back she was a bit hesitant to open her mouth and this surprised me. I would think that a pony who places so much importance on food that she wouldn't be scared. Oh wait, the restaurants up there that she rates so high serve nothing but shit that causes tooth rot so no wonder. Once I got a good look at her, I discovered that she had four cavities and three rotten teeth. That is unacceptable, absolutely unacceptable.
Now given this bitch is older than dirt one part of me just wanted to throw her out but if I want to be compensated one way or another, I would need to do some work on her. Given that she required three implants and four fillings, I decided that I would just schedule her for a Saturday and overcharge her a ton like I do all the other rats I schedule for Saturdays. Hey, she's rich so she can afford it.
Once Saturday arrived she came in with a scowl on her face but she wasn't the only one. Yeah I know I bitch about seeing ponies on weekends and bring it upon myself but hey, I can not inconvenience patients that have appointments during the week! Once I got her taken back I got to work on her. Get this though, when I went to sedate her mouth for the work I had to do, she bit me! Yes, she bit me! Want to know the funny thing though, I wound up accidentally ramming that needle into her tongue so she couldn't bitch anymore.
Like I do with so many other problematic patients, I smacked her to the point where I had given her a concussion. Now that made life much easier for the both of us. She was laying there not quite knowing everything that was going on and I could hopefully work on her without being bit again. Speaking of being bit, I'm billing that bitch ten times the cost of what the rabies shot cost.
It took me a good part of the day but I finally got her done and when I led her up front, I was in a very bad mood. I ran her insurance card through and despite already knowing that it would be declined, it pissed me off when I got the response "Out of company network." Apparently I must have smacked her a whole lot harder than I thought because she didn't give much of a reaction when I threw the damn thing back in her face.
Back to what I was saying earlier about Ahuizotl. Yes he may need another unicorn horn at some point but when I took a closer look at her horn, I noticed it was not big like that of Fancy Pants or Blueblood so chances are it would not be of any use to him. Given that I am a princess I did something much more satisfying. I seized her assets, all her assets! I seized her house, I seized all of her bank accounts and I seized a restaurant she owned in Manehattan.
Now the bitch is flat broke and has nowhere to live but you know what? I DON'T CARE! She has been an arrogant bitch her whole life and from what I understand she is now living in the Everfree Forest. Maybe if we're lucky the timberwolves will kill her and rid the world of her arrogance. Oh well, once I sold off her properties and moved her assets into my Neighmand Islands account, I had made considerably more than what she owed me and like always, that made me very happy!