Monday blues, it was a real thing. It was also the only day on which Octavia ever got anything close to actual peace and quiet during lunchtime. Strangely, this Monday was simultaneously both more and less blue at the same time. More, in the sense that it was even quieter than usually, but less in the sense that, as far as Octavia knew, a certain little blue magician had not come to school today.
Octavia poked at her uninspired lunch. She could only imagine that the reason for Trixie’s absence was sitting across from her.
Vinyl bobbed her head rhythmically, blissfully unaware of anything that didn’t sound like it had gone through a robotic blender/dishwasher combo, twice.
After her encounter with Trixie, Octavia had washed her hands of the whole affair. If Trixie wanted to disregard good advice, then Octavia wasn’t going to force the issue. Nor had she told Vinyl about what was going on. Octavia was done with all of it.
It wasn’t her fault that Trixie insisted on setting herself up for disappointment. Obviously that was why Trixie was missing. Well, good. For all Octavia cared, if she ever saw Trixie again it would be too soon.
As though summoned by some sixth sense for the opportunity to aggravate her, Octavia spotted Trixie on the far side of the lunchroom.
Trixie stood half hidden behind the door leading into the cafeteria and was staring right back at Octavia, well, not at Octavia herself. After all, Trixie had made it painfully clear she was beneath her notice. Which left only one other person at the table, Vinyl; who was as blissfully unaware as ever.
“Ah, there she is.” Octavia said to Vinyl, who just nodded along to the beat. Octavia squinted. “I would venture that she is here to deride you for ‘standing her up’ last Saturday. I had hoped she would come to realize the futility on her own.”
Still, that Trixie’s presence had eluded her until only now struck Octavia as strange. Had Trixie been attending school all morning after all? it couldn't be, Trixie always made her presence known one way or another. That was just an inescapable consequence of her boisterous confidence in everything she did.
Trixie didn’t look nearly as confident now.
Octavia couldn’t see her very well from this far away, but it was clear she was conflicted. Trixie would take a tentative step through the door, just to lose confidence and withdraw, disappearing fully behind the door for a minute before she would try again.
“What is she doing?” Octavia wondered aloud. “It’s not like her to be so indecisive.”
Eventually, Trixie disappeared behind the door and didn’t come back out again.
The rest of the day was as uneventful as the morning had been. If Trixie was still in the school building, then Octavia didn’t notice her.
Of course, it wasn’t to last.
When Octavia and Vinyl entered the cafeteria the following day, Trixie was already there, sitting at their regular table, in her regular place. Well, ‘regular’ might not have been the best word for it, given the irregular frequency of Trixie’s visits, but it was the seat next to Vinyl’s regular spot.
As they sat down, Trixie visibly stiffened and glanced over to Vinyl. Without a word, Trixie turned her attention back to her own tray, silently stirring a spoon through her mashed potatoes, though she didn’t eat a bite of it.
Octavia observed Trixie for a time. Normally, the girl rarely sat still long enough to get a good look at her.
The first thing Octavia noticed was that, although diminutive to begin with, Trixie looked much smaller than usual. It wasn’t merely that her downward gaze kept her head lowered, rather than proudly raised. No. While Trixie normally used her arms to claim much of the space around her with wild gestures, now they were nervously tucked in close to her body. Almost as if she was cold.
It was strange to see her so quiet and subdued.
“Are you just going to sit there?” Trixie asked, suddenly.
Octavia startled.
“You owe Trixie an apology.” Trixie said while giving Vinyl an impatient look. She didn’t even seem to notice Octavia, again. “You forgot we had plans, didn’t you?”
Vinyl nodded.
“Ugh, of course you did.” Trixie started sculpting her neglected mashed potatoes with the spoon. “Trixie swears sometimes it is like you don’t listen to a word she says. Well? Are you sorry?”
Vinyl nodded.
“Good. The Generous and Forgiving Trixie will overlook your negligence just this once.”
Barely resisting the sudden urge to headbutt the table, Octavia rolled her eyes. How anyone could be this dense was a question for the ages.
“Any ordinary person would feel terribly betrayed, you know.” Trixie muttered, sounding no less tense than she had from the outset. “You should be grateful that Trixie is so great she immediately deduced the situation correctly and had no desperate need for your phone number. For she would never spend a whole weekend bouncing between sorrow, anger and concern for your safety. You understand?”
Vinyl nodded.
“Though even Trixie would not normally stand for such a heartless insult, she...she...” Trixie went quiet.
An uncharacteristic lull in the conversation prompted Octavia to look over and take stock of the situation. Trixie was taking rapid, shallow breaths. She’d let go of her spoon, leaving the potato star sculpture half unfinished.
“S-she really values you,” Trixie managed to squeak out. “M-maybe she doesn’t say this often enough… but Trixie isn’t sure how she would have gotten by this past year if it wasn’t for you. Nobody else seems to want to listen to her, but Trixie could always talk to you about anything. Do you realize how much that meant to her?”
Vinyl nodded.
“Good. You’re Trixie’s best friend, Vinyl,” Trixie sucked in a shaky breath, “but you didn’t hear a thing Trixie said just now, right?”
Vinyl nodded.
Vinyl nodded.
Vinyl nodded.
Octavia’s chest tightened as, perhaps for the first time, Trixie looked at Vinyl. Really looked at her, not one of those quick glances for confirmation or to check if Vinyl was still there. There was no escaping it now: Vinyl’s rhythmic nodding.
Her eyes glued on Vinyl, Trixie showed a weak, faltering smile. “And you never did?”
Vinyl nodded.
Vinyl nodded.
Vinyl nodded.
“I know… now.” With a whimper, Trixie turned away from Vinyl and slumped down on the table, pushing the tray out of her way. She ran her hands over her head. “The boring girl wasn’t the idiot, after all… right?”
Vinyl nodded.
If Trixie wasn’t so pitiful, Octavia might have taken offense to that. As it was though, it struck her less as an insult and more as Trixie conceding the point, in her own aggravating little way.
“Maybe Trixie should pull those stupid headphones off.” Looking over at Vinyl, Trixie rested her head on one arm and muttered. “Trixie would make you listen to her. Maybe we’ll be friends for real. Or maybe. Maybe you’ll be like everyone else?”
Vinyl nodded.
Trixie looked at the headphones and reached out her free hand. However, halfway towards them her hand trembled and she pulled back. Staring at her shaking hand, Trixie grumbled something under her breath that Octavia couldn’t make out, but it seemed to be directed at herself.
“Trixie’s never gonna know.” Trixie sighed, looking up at Vinyl. “Maybe that’s okay. She’d rather not know if it could have been real. She’s okay with just… thinking so. It’s your loss, really. You’d have loved the Great and Powerful Trixie for a best friend, right?”
Vinyl nodded.
“Yeah, thought so.” She gave a sad chuckle then got up from the table. The guy behind her flinched. “It was nice to think I had a friend I could talk to. So, thanks… for listening… or, well, for not listening, I guess.”
Despite Trixie’s attempt at putting up a brave front, her voice was shaky. It was obvious to Octavia that she was on the verge of tears.
Trixie turned away. “G-goodbye.”
Rubbing her sleeve along her face, Trixie walked off.
Before Octavia even realized what she was doing she stretched out a hand and called after her. “Trixie, wait!”
Octavia couldn’t let it end like this. Trixie was clearly hurt and without Vinyl she had nobody to talk to about it. If all Trixie really needed was a listening ear, then it wasn’t as if letting Trixie talk to her was all that different from being at the table every time she spoke to Vinyl.
Trixie froze mid step. She rubbed her eyes with her sleeve quickly then looked back with a surprised look on her reddened face. “What? Where did you come from?”
“Me?” Octavia blinked. “I’m always here. I, I was listening an—”
"Huh..." Trixie rubbed the back of her head. "You blend in with the background so well, Trixie must not have noticed you at all. Anyways, stop listening in like a perverted lawn gnome from now on. What do you want? Trixie is busy."
“I, well, I...” Octavia faltered.
In the following moment of stillness between them, Octavia reconsidered. Was this really a good idea? It wasn’t a fluke that everyone Trixie actually spoke to dropped her like a bad habit. Her longest lasting relationship had been with what had been in essence a deaf yesman. A yesman that Trixie couldn’t even be bothered to speak to unless she needed something.
Trixie obviously needed someone to talk to but… did it have to be her?
Even if by some miracle this worked, what would it even be like to have ‘The Great and Powerful’ Trixie as a friend? Octavia had exactly one interaction with her and within minutes Trixie had dragged them both into the centre stage, with everybody staring at them. That kind of attention Octavia only wanted when she was performing.
Oh, gosh, what about when she was performing? Trixie was so socially tonedeaf that if she was in the audience when Octavia was performing a recital, she would probably cheer for her! Utterly unaware of the disapproving stares she’d get and embarrass Octavia to death! She’d be ousted from any further chances to perform!
Octavia slowly lowered her hand back down to the table.
This was social suicide.
Through Octavia’s crisis of faith, Trixie had been quietly standing there, staring back at her. Waiting, or, perhaps, hoping.
Octavia averted her eyes. “...You forgot your tray.”
Trixie glanced down at the forgotten tray on the table. “Oh… right.” With an almost robotic stiffness, she picked up the tray. “Thanks. Trixie wouldn’t want to cause,” her eyes darted to Octavia, “another mess.” After lingering just a moment, she turned away again and walked off.
Octavia slumped in her chair, despite not having moved a muscle, she felt as though she’d run a marathon. Her heart was thumping in her chest and sweat pooled in her palms as she watched Trixie’s retreat. “...She wasn’t talking about the tray, was she?”
Vinyl nodded.