Canterlot Wedding Remix

by chronicLurker


Chapter Four: Twisted


"I'm so happy," Rainbow Dash said contentedly, snuggling under the wing of the Wonderbolt Soarin', who hummed his approval and nibbled at the crest of her multicolored mane in return.

"Me too," Applejack agreed. She grinned at the strapping brown earth pony stallion she was hoof-wrestling with, and he smiled back lazily. They appeared to be at a stalemate.

"Me three!" Pinkie cheered, giggling and bouncing as she led a slim blue unicorn around the room in an impromptu game of tag. Both of them wore party hats and clown noses.

“I must agree that this is simply divine,” Rarity said, sitting elegantly upon a settee with a noble unicorn stallion whose white coat and expertly-coiffed purple mane matched her own perfectly. They were the only ones partaking of the light luncheon that had been brought in for them.

Fluttershy and her beau were talking quietly to each other on the room’s other couch, though most of the conversation appeared to consist of the pale green earth pony reassuring the timid pegasus that of course he didn’t mind. They were still livelier than Twilight, who was well on her way to dozing off under the broad wing of the largest pony in the room.

The doors of the sitting room opened and Princess Cadance strode in with a group of guards, bringing a halt to the already minimal hijinks. The winged unicorn surveyed the ponies in front of her, an expression of irritation fading as she began to resemble the cat that ate the canary. "My, my," she purred. "This could not have gone better." Her gaze paused on one of the couples and her eyes widened. "Oh, my, how scandalous."

"Your majesty," the large white stallion said, inclining his head toward her respectfully. Under his wing, Twilight stared at the princess with glazed eyes.

Cadance studied him from the tip of his pearly white horn to the golden sun of his cutie mark, her grin spreading nearly from ear to ear. "Uh-huh. Oh my, this is perfect. I’m going to have to have all of you in the wedding just to see the groom’s face.” She snapped her head around and pointed at Rarity. “You. You’re a dressmaker, aren’t you?”

“Yes, your highness,” the fashionista confirmed, surprised.

“Congratulations, you get to make gowns for a royal wedding,” Cadance said cheerfully. “You’re all going to be my new bridesmaids.”

“Y-yes, your highness!” Rarity gushed, hooves clasped to her chest. Turning to the stallion beside her, she asked, “Oh, darling, did you hear?”

“Yes, precious,” he replied, smiling lovingly at her. “The queen is giving you a great honor!”

“Princess,” Twilight corrected almost inaudibly.

Cadance glanced at the purple unicorn, but Twilight’s nearly vacant expression didn’t seem to trouble her. Still quite cheerful, she mused aloud, “I want everything to be extra special when the princesses arrive for the ceremony. Now I need to go and inform Shining Armor of the change of plans.” She practically skipped out of the room.

“I like her,” Pinkie announced. “She seems fun.”


Shining Armor had decent accommodations for a prisoner. There were no chains or bars, but there were also no windows. The door was conspicuously absent – it had been torn off its hinges – but a number of guards stood just outside, intently watching their brooding prisoner as he paced back and forth in his cell. There wasn’t much space to do so; the venerable conference table which had once dominated the room had been pushed against one wall, the heavy wooden chairs were stacked haphazardly, and a bed had been dragged in to make it marginally more comfortable. This left little floor space, and the ancient rug under Shining Armor’s restless hooves was beginning to show wear.

The unicorn looked up as the changeling who wore the guise of Princess Cadance strolled in with a wink and a smile. “Hello again, dearest,” she gushed. “I’ll bet you didn’t expect to see me again so soon. I just missed you so much!”

“I doubt that,” he bit out. As much as he would have liked to attack, he didn’t; he’d learned that lesson. “What do you want now?”

“I don’t have to want something to visit my future husband, do I?” She rolled her eyes at him when he glowered at her in reply. “Fine, be that way. I’m just here to share some news. Don’t you want to hear it?”

“All I want is for you to stick to the deal and leave me alone,” he retorted.

“Yes, yes,” she agreed readily – too readily, considering her broad grin. “As long as you maintain your shield, nothing will happen to your fiancée.”

“Or Twilight and her friends,” he prompted in a growl. “You said-“

She made a show of studying a pink hoof while smirking at him with sadistic delight. “Well, as to your dear, cute little sister...” She laughed at his expression of stricken fury. “The wielders of the Elements of Harmony made the mistake of snooping around where they didn’t belong, but they’re perfectly satisfied now that they’ve visited your bride-to-be. Some of my subjects are seeing to them as we speak.”

His eyes widened and he took a step toward her, shaking with rage. It didn’t seem to worry the shape shifter. She cheerfully went on, “Would you like to know about your innocent little sister’s deepest desires? I assure you, it’s disgracefully wicked. I was shocked. I can only imagine what must have been done to her in her foalhood...well, never mind. She seems to have embraced it.”

Shining Armor’s head jerked, his horn sparking, but he cast no spells. “You’re going to pay for hurting my sister,” he hissed, visibly restraining himself from lunging at her.

“Fear not, dearest,” she cooed. “Little Twilight Sparkle won’t be hurt. Well, not much, ha. My changeling became rather a big stallion for her, but I’m sure she can take it.” With one last grin, she turned and sashayed out of his cell, laughing.


As the night wore on, the Ponyvillians went their separate ways. Rainbow and Soarin’ apparently wanted to have a race around the castle spires, but the guards were adamantly opposed. They were still arguing about it loudly, but some sort of consensus involving an improbably long, wide hallway seemed to be approaching. Rarity, who was already in a tizzy of creativity, was listing off the materials she would need for the dresses to her doppelganger and several soldiers who’d been drafted into her service. The poor stallions trailed after her like baffled, heavily armored ducklings as she went in search of the tools of her trade and an unholy amount of chiffon. In the midst of the confusion, Pinkie Pie and AJ snuck off to acquire whatever edible food could be retrieved from the kitchens, joined by their respective partners. Fluttershy was being taken for a walk in the gardens, and Twilight was on her way to bed.

“Poor thing,” the white stallion crooned as he opened the door to Twilight’s suite with the green glow of his magic. He smiled down at her as she leaned into him for balance, yawning hugely. “You’ve worn yourself out, haven’t you?”

“Mm-hmm,” Twilight agreed. She blinked searchingly at her surroundings, vaguely aware that something wasn’t right. It was warm in the room; someone had started a fire in the hearth. The curtains were moving slightly in the breeze from the balcony. A piece of parchment lay on the floor near the desk in the corner. After a moment of sluggish thought, her memory clicked and she asked, “Where’s Spike?”

He looked around, his nostrils flaring, and frowned. “Hmm, I don’t smell anypony. Spike must not be here.”

She frowned and shook her head. Where could he have gone? She’d told Spike to stay put unless...

“Don’t worry, love,” the stallion said silkily, easing her concern with the warm certainty in his voice. “I’m sure that he just trotted off for a snack. He won’t be able to get into any mischief with so many guards in the castle.” His face moved toward hers and she tilted up her chin, closing her eyes as she prepared to be nuzzled.

He kissed her, and her stomach went into a series of violent barrel rolls. She was suddenly wide awake and almost hyperventilating with stress as she pushed away from him, stuttering, "N-no. I don't- I'm not-"

"Relax, love," he soothed her, sidling up against her side and spreading a wing over her back. His eyes were puzzled but caring, his expression full of nothing but concern for her wellbeing. "We don't need to do anything you're uncomfortable with. I thought you would like that."

Twilight settled back, her tummy still fluttering but her panic subsiding. "I'm sorry," she whimpered, embarrassed. "I just...it didn't feel right."

"Don't worry about it." He tilted his head to the side, regarding her with a smile. "As long as you love me, everything is fine. And you do love me, don't you?"

"I love you," she said immediately, feeling the powerful emotion rising in her like a warm wave. "More than anything!"

He grinned lazily and dipped his head to nuzzle her affectionately, playfully asking, "Then how could I be mad?" With gentle pressure from his wing, he guided her toward the fire and they lay down on the rug before it, snuggling together for a few moments in comfortable silence. Twilight basked in the warmth and his love, sinking into the feeling of safety that came from being pressed against his much larger body. She was feeling sleepy again, but his occasional nibbles at her crest and withers made her giggle and kept her from falling below a doze.

After a while, he drew back to look down on her and mused, "I am curious, though. If kissing makes you uncomfortable, what is it that I can do to make you happy?"

She wanted to say that just being close to him made her as happy as she could ever be, but a little voice deep in her heart bubbled up. She couldn’t lie to him, so she shifted uneasily and looked up with her ears dropping back shyly. "Well, there is one thing," she admitted, blushing so much that it felt like her face might catch on fire. He prompted her to go on with a raised eyebrow and a hint of a teasing smirk. Her breath quickening a little as her chest tightened uncomfortably, she ventured, "Promise me that you’ll never send me away?”

He looked surprised, but immediately assured her, “I would never allow us to be parted, love.”

“And...” She swallowed against a mouth gone dry as bone and whispered, “And tell me...you're proud of me?"

He smiled gently, lovingly, and told her, "Of course I'm proud of you, Twilight."

"It isn't your place to be proud of my student, shape shifter."

Twilight's head snapped around and she stared at the alicorn who was pushing through the curtains that led to the balcony. Princess Celestia looked as angry as the unicorn had ever seen her, and her hooves and wings were spread in a battle-ready stance, her head lowered belligerently to emphasize the long spike of her horn.

"Princess!" Twilight was frozen in place even as the stallion rose in a rush beside her, his wings beating once and spreading in their own threat display. Seeing them together like that, they looked...so much alike. She was surprised that she hadn't realized it before.

“You shouldn’t be here,” he objected harshly, his eyes darting toward the door. “The wedding isn’t for two days!”

“You’re the one who shouldn’t be here,” Celestia countered. “Now step away from Twilight Sparkle.”

He looked down, his expression conflicted, and Twilight met his gaze with tears forming in her eyes. When he looked back to the princess, he snarled, “No. I’ll die before I give her up.”

“So be it,” the princess said coldly. Her horn blazed with pale golden light and she lunged forward. He met her halfway, their horns scraping against one another and sending neon green sparks flying.

"Please don't fight!" Twilight cried, snapping out of her daze and leaping to her feet. She could barely breathe, but she forced herself to plead, "Princess, I love him!"

The only response was an even brighter flash of light and a loud crack. The stallion flew backward violently, wreathed in magic. As he slammed into the floor, he shattered into a thousand pieces; in his place there was something dark and insect-like and full of painful-looking holes lying unconscious on the carpet. Twilight screamed, but the sound was muffled against Celestia's white coat as the alicorn swept her up in a crushing embrace. Weeping piteously, Twilight struggled against her mentor.

The princess said something urgently that she couldn't make sense of, and then there was a burst of sunlight that tore her soul apart and set the pieces on fire. The pain in her chest was excruciating and her head split with every beat of her withering heart. With a whimper, Twilight blacked out...


...Only to wake in a cold, starlit place, pressed against the side of a much larger pony with a white coat. A wing draped over her from withers to flanks, shielding her from the chill. Groggily, she raised her head and looked up into the concerned lavender eyes of one of the two rulers of Equestria. "Princess?"

The great wing lifted away and folded to Celestia’s side. "I apologize, Twilight Sparkle,” she said, giving the unicorn a remorseful nuzzle before rising to her hooves and stepping back. “I didn't realize that the magic affecting you had reached so deeply into your heart. The disorientation should fade quickly, but you’ll need to take it easy for a little while longer."

Twilight nodded, not sure that she was ready to stand. A movement in the shadows at the corner of her eye startled her for a moment, but she recognized that drifting mass of stars. Beginning to shiver a little in the chill air, Twilight ventured, "Princess Luna?"

"Twilight Sparkle," the dark alicorn replied, inclining her head slightly as she stepped into the moonlight. "It is good to see that you are unharmed."

"I'm not so sure about that," the unicorn muttered wryly. She looked around, noting the domed stone ceiling suspended above on elegantly carved pillars. The whole structure was open to the elements, but she could see only night sky or mountainside when she looked around. "Where are we?"

"This is a safe place," Celestia told her. "But we're still in Canterlot, so I would caution you to be as quiet as possible and refrain from using magic for now."

Twilight nodded obediently and asked, "What happened?"

Celestia stilled, studying the unicorn with unreadable eyes. “You don’t remember?”

“Oh, I remember,” Twilight admitted, swallowing as she tried not to think about the last few hours. “I meant to ask what happened while I was unconscious.”

“I left Spike in a secure location and brought you here, then called Luna to meet us,” Celestia replied. “That’s all, really. It’s been about an hour since you passed out.”

“We should discuss the situation,” Princess Luna said. "What can you tell us of matters within the palace?”

Twilight took a moment to gather her scattered thoughts. Some things were still hazy. “Shape shifters called ‘changelings’ have invaded the city and replaced the royal guard. They feed on love. They’ve replaced Princess Cadance with a fake and are keeping the real one in the caves under Canterlot so they can force her to make ponies fall in love with them. They have my friends and I think they’ve done something to my brother, too.”

Celestia nodded. “Thank you, Twilight. That fills in some blanks. We aren’t sure when the changelings arrived, though it must have been during the last three weeks. Luna and I were drawn away by a reported threat to the kingdom. It appears now that it was only a diversion to keep us from detecting the true danger. We wrongly believed that Canterlot would be safe under Shining Armor’s shield."

“We were arrogant,” the other alicorn murmured, looking out at the night sky.

Inclining her head, the sun princess acknowledged her sister, but directed her words to Twilight. “Luna and I have a plan to deal with the changelings-“

“A plan which will now need to be modified,” Luna interjected darkly.

“Yes,” Celestia agreed. “Do you think that you are up to helping us save ponykind once again, my faithful student?”

“Of course, Princess,” Twilight said promptly as she stiffly rose, her legs wobbling a little before grudgingly agreeing to support her weight. Pasting on a determined expression, she asked, “What do you need me to do?”