Miley dangled a hoof down from the cloud ride that was being led by Rainbow Dash. Even though Rainbow agreed to Fluttershy that she could lead their next cloud ride with Miley, due to her damaged wing, she was unable to for the time being. Rainbow thought the least she could do was at least fly the ride in the style Fluttershy would, especially since the ride was escorting both Fluttershy and Miley.
As they flew the skies, Fluttershy was doing everything she could to keep Miley calm. She was embracing her firmly, brushing her mane with a hoof, wiping any new tears that had appeared in her eyes, and even giving her a few kisses on her forehead. It was working for the most part, but it wasn’t stopping the shivering.
The more Rainbow watch their filly, the more she thought on something that made her uncomfortable. All she could wonder was how much longer this would go on. She knew there was something wrong about Miley, but she didn’t know what. Even if she brought it up now, she wondered where that would lead, or if it would even help at all right now.
Rainbow shook her head. She had to focus on what was important right now. Their daughter needed help. That’s all she knew, and all she needed to know right now. She kept telling herself that, hoping it would all come together.
Their destination came within sight. Rainbow Dash carefully descended their altitude so that they would land nice and easy in front of the building she was looking for. It was a Therapist Center for ponies with ill-willed minds seeking an answer for their fears, distress, dreams, or any number of mental problems. Behind that building was a small hut with less borders for a more atmospheric environment. And although it wouldn't look like it, but the hut was surrounded by an invisible barrier that would let everything in, and out, except for sound. It would ensure that all conversations be kept inside.
There was a light purple unicorn with two shades of yellow in her mane and tail, waiting near the hut. Her name was Violet Straw, with a Cutie Mark that showed what looked like the top of a pony’s head and a black arrow pointing at it.
Rainbow Dash led the cloud ride down to park next to the hut. Miley, still a bit shaky, hesitantly climbed on Fluttershy’s back as they exited the ride. Violet seemed to be keeping her eyes on Miley and marking on her clipboard already. Looked like a good sign for Miley with the therapist they hired. All that was needed was Miley’s cooperation.
“Now remember, Miley,” Fluttershy started as she was walking towards the hut. “Violet here is just going to ask you some questions. She just wants to help you figure out what’s wrong. Don’t be afraid to answer.”
Rainbow Dash opened the hut for Violet and Miley to enter. Violet was already inside, but Miley was still trying to climb down from Fluttershy. “We’ll be waiting for you out here the whole time,” Rainbow said. “And don’t worry about what you say. Anything said in here, can’t be said outside, or used against you without your word.”
Miley slowly nodded while trying to settle her breathing. The words coming from her parents didn’t really help calm her nerves. The only one she was comfortable hearing was them being near while this session occurred. Nevertheless, she found it in her to enter the hut.
When Miley was out of sight, Fluttershy's worries returned once again. Rainbow Dash saw that Fluttershy had started frowning again with a lowered head. She inched closer to Fluttershy and placed a wing over her, making sure not to get too close as to avoid injuring her damaged wing. Fluttershy looked up to Rainbow as she felt that firm wing being wrapped around her. She saw the worry in Rainbow's eyes too. The look in them reminded her that she wasn't alone in this worry. It warmed her heart seeing how much Rainbow cared.
Fluttershy moved her head closer to Rainbow, and Rainbow followed suit. Their heads connected with each other, ever so lightly nuzzling together. Concerns filled their minds as one. Though their worries were a bit different, they were from the same source. They wished the best for their daughter, Miley Heart.
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The atmosphere in this hut was very silent and still. The only real movements and sounds came from the gentle breeze resonating within the hut. To say that it was calming considering the circumstances would normally be the case. And if it was a few days earlier, it would’ve been.
But for Miley, she might as well have been in a swamp and the atmosphere to her wouldn’t be much different. She continued taking deep breaths, lying on a laying sofa while Violet continued to write on her clipboard using her magic. Overtime, Miley’s breathing settled to a fairy normal tone. It was settled enough that they were able to start.
“Now Miley,” Violet started. “Can you tell me how this all started?”
Hearing her question, Miley had to squeeze her eyes shut to keep her nerves in. After about two seconds of pressure on them, she hesitantly responded. “S-Started?”
Violet turned to her clipboard. “From what I understand, your family describes you as a wonderful and carefree filly, always open to try new things with them, until recently when an uncontrollable fear entered your mind. How did this start? What did you do before these troubles came?”
Miley’s heavy breathing somewhat came back to her. She looked away, turning to look at her Cutie Mark. This broken heart of a Cutie Mark now resembled how she felt about it. She didn’t mean to make it like that, but the way she felt made her remember it that way.
“I…” Miley sniffed. “I wanted… to make them happy. My family… by getting my Cutie Mark.” As Miley spoke, Violet was writing her notes on her clipboard. “I was able to do it. I… got my Cutie Mark. But when I came back to them to show them… they were… um… u-u-upset.” Miley’s tears were starting to return as she recollected her memories.
“Upset? Was it because of your Cutie Mark?” Violet asked.
“They… t-they…” Miley choked on her words through her sobs. “Sent me… home… sent me… away…” Her voice was growing higher pitched and more hyperventilated. “I w-wanted them… to be proud.” A hiccup followed by a shudder. “B-but, they… s-s-she” An image of the princess flashed in her mind, a stern looking glare. Miley shut her eyes, cowering her hooves above her head as she sank further in her seat.
“But Miley, your parents told me what they thought about your Cutie Mark. Have they ever told you?”
Still with her hooves on her head, Miley slowly opened her eyes, the fear in them still present. “They… They were, s-sending me to… t-to…” She just stared down, her pupils shaking in her eyes.
“To?” Violet asked, eying Miley carefully and keeping her actions in track with the clipboard. “Take a deep breath Miley. Try and speak it out.”
Despite what Violet said, Miley was still breathing heavily with her eyes down. Voices started coming to her head. They all mentioned one name. She spoke it. “Princess Celestia.” she spoke it. It felt like a piece of her heart had pulled away.
Violet nodded and scribbled more on her notes. “Mhm… it’s like everypony was saying. You seem to hold an uncontrollable fear of her. But the question is… why?” She set down her clipboard and looked Miley sympathetically in the eye. “What do you know about Princess Celestia?”
Miley turned her eyes back down at the sofa, taking slow, but large breaths in. The movements in her mouth was even struggling. She closed down on her teeth. “Sh-...” They opened back up, preventing her from speaking. They closed. “Sh…e...” The process repeated itself. Violet made note of every action, every hesitation into her notes.
And then, Miley looked up. “She’s the Princess… the ruler of us… of Equestria…” Many stuttered breaths escaped her lips from her pause. An image flashed in her mind, the image of the one that used to be her ruler. “Princess Celestia… she’s our Queen.”
Violet’s writing had frozen upon that word. Her expression had faltered there, revealing that she was a bit surprised. Miley continued.
“She’s watching us… always watching…” An image of Celestia flashed in Miley’s mind, making her inhale a painful sounding breath. “If she finds me…” An image of herself along with her parents being in the throne room flashed. “I-If she sees me…” Another flash. This time, being witnessed by everypony as her form changed back. She turned her head, believing the images were real, believing their voices were real.
”Your daughter is a changeling!” the voice of Celestia boomed in her head.
“No… please!” Miley’s head turned to Fluttershy, which to Violet was toward the door.
”You are not our daughter!” Fluttershy’s voice teared into her very soul, making her tears return full force. She lifted a hoof out as if trying to reach something.
“Please don’t send me away!” She turned another way as her voice grew louder with despair, Violet watching her every move.
”Get outta here! You lied to us, betrayed us!” Rainbow’s voice made another piece of her heart split.
“I don’t…” Miley backed her body away with her hooves, like a terrifying monster was directly in front of her. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” When her back hit the back of the sofa, she quickly turned around, seeing the image of Celestia right there.
”Return from whence you came!” The image of Celestia fired her horn at Miley. Miley screamed. She tried to crawl away from the blast, but she felt it hit. When it did, her body froze, her eyes went blank, and her tears had stopped. Even her wings and her breathing were stiff. It was as if time had frozen for Miley right then in there. It was silent. Silent. Until her body fell by itself, where she curled into a ball.
Violet put a hoof over her mouth. Of all the patients she's had to meet, she’s never dealt with a condition quite like this. She gasped when she realized she hadn’t been writing on her notes. Keeping an eye on Miley, she turned her page and started writing in a new section.
Miley’s actions hadn’t stopped there. She was still talking, still breathing. “Don’t leave me…” Her voice was reduced to whisper. “I can’t live… without you…" Her breath made very brief sobs. One breath out, two breaths in. Two breath out. Three breaths in. Seven breaths out. Violet wrote down every detail. Three breaths in. ”Without… your love…” Five breaths out. One large breath in. ”Don’t… leave me…”
Silent. Miley had grown silent upon that last breath. No more of her actions were presenting itself.
Violet levitated her clipboard in front of her to review her notes. She quickly skimmed through them with concern. She found it hard to believe, but everything towards Miley’s fear pointed directly to Celestia. She couldn’t believe a filly could express so much fear towards a princess as nice and wise as Celestia.
Violet continued reviewing them, trying to figure out why Miley was so afraid. It was strange though. Miley only seemed to hold fear of Princess Celestia, despite the fact that their were two rulers. Surely her dreams couldn’t have spoken ill of Celestia. Violet also thought about the things Rainbow and Fluttershy told. There was nothing about Celestia that was told to Miley that would express this.
She did find one possibility though, but it was a very delicate conversation to tread on. If she wasn’t careful, it could change the way Miley thought about her life forever. Seeing as Miley was currently passed out on the sofa, she decided to give Miley’s break time, and wait until she was ready.
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A loud gasp came without warning. It came from Miley. She panicked on the sofa, violently breathing, turning left and right, checking her surroundings.
“Miley! Calm down!” Violet’s words didn’t reach her.
“Where are they?!” Miley frantically spoke. “Celestia! She’s here! I want my-”
“Miley!” The second time, Miley gasped and shot her vision towards Violet, pressuring her body with her breathing. “Princess Celestia isn’t here. Don’t worry. Nopony here is going to take you away.”
Miley took a clearer look at her surroundings. Her visions were starting to go away and return to reality. She wanted to see her family again, but they were nowhere to be seen. But she remembered where they were now, where she was now. With her breathing settling down, she now remembered she was still in a session with Violet Straw, and her parents were still waiting outside, probably still worried about her.
But now, all Miley could worry about was what she had done. She looked back at Violet. “Oh no… Did I do something bad again?”
Seeing Miley returning back to herself, Violet sighed a relief. “No Miley. You just panicked in your seat and fainted.” Miley took a sigh and slumped down in her sofa, not really happy with the scene that she had caused. “Do you wish to continue your session, or do you need more time?”
Miley shook her head. “No… we should…” Miley paused, releasing a hiccup. “We should…” Another hiccup. She looked down, away from Violet and answered more calmly. “We should.” It was the same words, but her tone meant what it said.
“Very well.” Violet levitated her notes back to her. She looked specifically towards a side note of the clipboard that reminded her what words to use to start this subject. “Let’s take a step back over the source of your fear and talk about how it started. You’re convinced that your parents wanted to send you to her because of your Cutie Mark.” She looked away from her notes and eyed Miley. “But before we get into what you think they think about it, let’s talk about you.”
Miley’s ears dropped. “M-Me?”
“What do you see, when you look at your Cutie Mark?”
Miley turned her eyes away, avoiding the sight of her Cutie Mark. “I-I don’t know… My paren-”
“Miley.” Violet’s interruption caused Miley to shiver. Violet had to quickly change her expression into a more friendly one. She needed to remind herself to be careful with this subject. “We’re not trying to talk about your parents. We’re trying to talk about you.” Miley’s body started crouching back down, laying her head forwards on her sofa. It was as if she had received a punishment and was accepting it. “Listen. I know how much your parents mean to you. You’ve expressed how much you care for them and how much their words mean to you. But let’s take a moment to stop thinking about them.”
Miley’s ears shot up, followed by her head. It looked like she would grow on full panic again. But when she saw Violet’s hoof stretched forwards as if telling her to stay silent, she obliged, much to her dismay.
“I know it’s difficult to think on that concept, but this is important. You will see them again. But what we’re focusing on, is the now.” Violet paused for a moment to view how Miley was taking this. There wasn’t much change, but she was still listening. “Pretend that your parents would love your Cutie Mark no matter what it was. Pretend that whatever their opinion is, is what your opinion on it is. Try not to think about what they would think. What do you think about your Cutie Mark. What did you do in order to get it, and talk about how that made you feel.”
Silence followed suit. Nopony changed their expression. Violet had a sweat drop from the side of her head, hoping she didn’t push things too far. She waited for Miley’s response, not wanting to change her own expression on the matter. They stared. Stared.
Finally, Miley closed her eyes, but her mouth stayed open. Her lips however appeared to be moving slightly, trying to usher out words. Nothing came from them. Not even her breath. It was as if her mind was talking to itself again.
“Remember Miley. Anything said in here, stays in here. Nothing said here can be used against you.”
Miley’s mouth stopped moving. And then, they closed while her eyes opened. And then, she was able to speak again.
“I left the school… to find my Cutie Mark. I did it because… I thought about what I was told the other day. About why I didn’t have anything to say about myself.”
Violet continued writing on her clipboard. Curiosity came back to her with what Miley was saying now. But this was good so far.
“To find my Cutie Mark, and to make them proud, I wanted to find what I like. But… I don’t think I found that…” Following Violet’s earlier suggestions, Miley took a deep breath, and let it out. “There were two ponies there. I could see their love. I could see that they wanted to be together, but were too afraid to tell each other.” There was a pause. “Again... I could only think on what others wanted, rather than what I wanted. I wanted to see them together... because they wanted to be together. So I did what I could. I gave them that chance. They don’t even know it was me who gave it to them. But I didn’t mind. I didn’t want them to. I…”
Miley stopped, suddenly feeling a huge chill run along her body. It was freezing to her stomach, her lungs, and more importantly, her heart. It felt like another piece of her heart chipped off from that icicle.
“That was when I got my Cutie Mark. I was happy. But, I was only happy, because they... were happy. They weren’t even my…” Another freeze. It lingered on for a moment. Something had clicked in her mind right then, something that made her more curious than afraid. “I never told them that…” 'Never told them' repeated in her mind.
Violet finished writing on her clipboard. Reviewing it, she believed she had a lead on the answer to this fear. “What do you think would happen if you told them that.” Miley opened her eyes back up and curiously looked at her. “Your Cutie Mark. When you were describing it, you never looked down on it.” The mention of this of course made Miley turn her eyes down toward it. “Yet despite what it looks, all you described was something that brought joy to you, and to others. What would they think about it, if you told them that?”
Violet wouldn’t know it, but this subject was making Miley feel more regretful than ever. “They hate it… They have to hate it…”
“'Have to' you say?” Violet put her notes down. “Have they ever told you that they hated your Cutie Mark?” Miley didn’t respond. “Why do you think they wanted you to meet with the Princess. What words did they use?”
It took Miley a few seconds to think on that, any words that they used that described, and described alone. “'Something… special…'” she said.
“Mhm… And do you think they would use that if they wanted to send you away?” After Violet’s question, Miley just nodded. “And why is that?”
Miley’s shivers returned. She tried to contain them, but they wouldn’t allow her to. All she could do, was repeat her reason. “If she sees me… she’ll send me away…”
Although Miley was frowning when she said that, Violet smiled. “I think I found the real source of your fear.” Miley’s face lifted to Violet, curiously. “You’re not really afraid of Princess Celestia are you? But rather, you’re afraid of what happens when she sees you.” Miley’s stomach had dropped, fearing if Violet knew. “You’re afraid that she’ll recognize you as this something that is special, and that special thing is what’s making them send you away.”
Miley’s breath released itself violently. Her hooves felt like they wanted to pick themselves up, and run away right then and there. She was too afraid to hear the end of this, but barely managed to stay put.
“Miley. Your family wish only for the best of you. But they would not force something upon you if you didn’t want them to. You’re afraid that your visit with Princess Celestia will cause a change to your life forever. Maybe she will take you as a student. Maybe she will take you to a special school. But it doesn’t matter. No matter what she would recognize you as, she would never take you away from those most important to you.”
Violet paused and drew closer to her. “And if you don’t want to leave them, tell them. What matters to you is just as important to them. They love you, just like how you love them.”
...That last sentence. Something released from Miley’s mind. Her eyes were stiff. Her body was stiff. And when those words registered to her mind as to what they meant, what they meant to her, her mind went stiff. It was then that the last piece of her heart, broke away from her body.
And then, her expression went normal. No more shivering. No more chills. No more fear. With her body back in control, she stood on the sofa, bringing her attention to Violet.
“Thank you,” Miley said without a tone or hesitation. “I understand now.”
Seeing that all the fear was no longer present with Miley, Violet nodded. “You understand your family’s feelings toward you?” Miley nodded normally, without a change in her expression. Violet was a bit surprised by Miley’s responses. But after tackling a subject as delicate as this, it was a better sign than seeing any signs of fear from Miley. “Would you like to see them now?”
Miley answered by turning her head to the door. She was sure they were still waiting outside for her. Climbing herself off of the sofa, she carefully started leaving. Each step she took echoed in her mind. Every step brought her closer toward that door.
Miley understood now. She didn’t understand in the way Violet said. But she understood now. Her fear was all too clear to her now. And now it was gone.
No, it wasn’t. It was still there, Her fear was still lingering. But now, it would no longer affect her. Her fear of that door she closed in on would no longer keep her away, no longer make her think otherwise. Her mind was set. She reached for the door, ever so carefully opening it.
Miley was back with her family...